The One With All the Love
by FictionWriter91
Summary: What if Phoebe developed feelings for Joey after he kissed her thinking she was Ursula? Where would that leave her? What if Rachel and Ross didn't take a break? What if Monica and Chandler discovered their feelings much sooner but were afraid to say so for a long time? Lots of comedy/humor/angst/drama/friendship amongst your favorite gang!
1. Chapter 1

**So I've been inspired by simplymondler and friendsenthusiast and have started my own romance story mixed with episodes of Friends. It is going to have a lot of ups and downs, laughter and sadness, and everything in between. I hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

 **New York City**

It was raining outside. This sort of weather fit her mood almost exactly, which unnerved her. Phoebe felt so terrible that her sister would do that to Joey, dump him without telling him. It was a few weeks after she pretended to be Ursula and broke up with him so as to save his heart, but she was still thinking about it. The kiss had been really nice. Too nice. She was pretty sure he knew it was her. Was that why all the women went for him? She pondered this. No. There had to be more. He was awfully adorable in his sweet, Joeyness way. Why had she never really noticed this before?

"Aaauuughh! Stop!" she shouted at her brain. None of this was making sense. She didn't like Joey. Not in that way. No, no, no. They were just friends. Good friends. Right? But why would she still be thinking about this weeks later? She decided to go for a walk. Walking in the rain was something she enjoyed from time to time. She didn't get very far when Ross spotted her.

"Hey, Phoebs," he called. "What are you doing?" He peered at her from under his umbrella. She was standing there with nothing.

"Um, just, you know, walking," she said. "It's a free country."

"All right," Ross frowned. "Did you forget your umbrella?"

"I like it when the Earth connects with me in such a meaningful way," Phoebe rambled. "You know, like, it's cleansing me naturally."

"Sounds...interesting," Ross said, humoring her. "You headed anywhere in particular?"

"No."

"Did you want to go hang out at Monica's? That's where I'm headed," Ross gestured. Phoebe thought about it.

"All right," she agreed. He ushered her under his umbrella, and they went on their way. They were climbing up the stairs to the apartment when Phoebe stopped.

"I'm soaking wet," she said. "And I look like a drowned rat." Ross bit down his retort.

"You can borrow something of Mon's I'm sure," he suggested. "She also has a hair dryer."

"Okay. I guess," she nodded. Ross inwardly rolled his eyes. She was definitely different that was for sure.

"Hey!" Ross called as they entered. Monica waved in return. She paused at the sight of Phoebe.

"What...?"

"I found her out in the rain like this," Ross explained.

"Thank you, I can take it from here," Phoebe said. She pushed past him, heading to the bathroom. Monica shared a look with Ross, who shrugged. She followed Phoebe hesitantly and knocked on the door.

"You okay, Phoebs?"

"Yea. Um, Mon, can I talk to you?"

"Sure." Monica let herself in. Phoebe was staring at herself in the mirror.

"Am I crazy?" Phoebe asked.

"W-what?" Monica laughed nervously. Phoebe gave her a pointed look in the mirror.

"No! You're not crazy," Monica shook her head. "Why would you ask me that?"

"I just feel crazy. I walked in the rain with no coat or umbrella. I can't stop thinking about..." Phoebe clamped her mouth shut quickly. Monica noticed this.

"About...what?" she prodded.

"Mm mm," Phoebe said, shaking her head. "Nothing."

"Doesn't seem like nothing," Monica pushed.

"All right, all right, you see right through me," Phoebe said. "I'm thinking about cutting my hair." Monica seemed surprised by this.

"Really? Why does that make you crazy? It'd be cute," Monica added. She felt confused.

"You think? Like, everyone would like it? They wouldn't hate the change?" Phoebe asked, having a different meaning altogether. "They wouldn't wish it went back to normal?"

"Phoebe," Monica laughed. "It's your hair. Do what you want with it! I think we'd love it no matter what."

"Okay," Phoebe nodded. "Maybe I will."

"Is that all, honey?" Monica asked. "You seem distracted."

"I'm just wet and cold. Can I borrow some clothes?"

"Sure, sure," Monica said. "I'll be right back."

 **Across the hall**

"I wonder if Mon has any lasagna," Joey mused, his head in the fridge. Chandler was attempting to shuffle a deck of cards in a fancy way. It wasn't working.

"Awww," he said, the cards shooting out of his hands once more.

"You really should just give it up, dude," Joey said, shaking his head.

"But those guys look so cool doing it," Chandler sighed.

"Yea, cos they're cool," Joey pointed out.

"And I'm what, uncool?" Chandler asked.

"In a way," Joey agreed.

"Thanks, man."

"No problem," Joey said, looking back into the fridge. "I'm so hungry..."

"All right, all right. I can take a hint," Chandler said, getting up. He was in the mood for some good times all the same. Especially if Monica was going to be there. He knew nothing was ever going to happen. Honestly, she was way more cool than he was. It was a dream. A good dream, but a dream nonetheless.

"Hey, you think Phoebs will be there?" Joey asked, pausing. Chandler looked back at him.

"I 'unno," he shrugged. "Why?"  
"No reason. I just feel a little awkward around her after...well, you know," Joey said.

"After she pretended to be her sister so you wouldn't feel bad? Yea, I know. You keep talking about it," Chandler said.

"You think she feels weird too?"

"How should I know? Let me see. Hey, Phoebe, you feel all right after making Joey feel better? (Imitates Phoebe's voice) Yea of course I do!" Chandler made a face. "See? All good."

"You made that up," Joey smiled. "Right?"

"Ummm, yea," Chandler said, frowning. Joey didn't seriously think he could mentally talk to Phoebe did he?

"I knew," Joey defended himself. He hated that everyone thought he was slow or stupid. He really wasn't, sometimes. He followed Chandler across the hall. He was still cooler than him, Joey thought.

 **Monica's apartment**

"Hey, guys," Monica called as Chandler and Joey entered. Phoebe sat up straighter. Oh no.

"Hey," Joey waved. "Mon, I'm starving. You got anything to eat?" Phoebe laughed at this a little too loudly. Rachel looked over at her, concerned.

"It's just, you know," Phoebe said. "It's funny. I'm starving got anything to eat?" she quoted in Joey's voice. Everyone glanced at her now. "Nevermind," she muttered. She felt so stupid sometimes.

"I think she's having a hard time since David left," Monica whispered to Ross, who nodded knowingly.

"Let's cheer her up," he suggested.

"Hey you guys!" Rachel called, entering the apartment. "Look, I've had it up to here with being called "Excuse me, miss," so I am looking for a new job, and you are all gonna help me." They all groaned in return.

"Oh come on!" she cried. "I really need your help. Let's start with folding these..." She flopped hundreds of resumes down. "And we can put them into envelopes and send them off!"

"So much for fun," Chandler muttered. Joey nodded. They took their places as the procession line started. Phoebe somehow ended up beside Joey. She felt almost electrified just sitting there. She was the designated envelope licker. It was going well until she cut her tongue.

"Ah, ah!" she cried. "Papercut!"

"Here!" Joey said, passing her a cup with juice.

"No, grapefruit juice," she said stupidly. He looked confused, but did as she asked. Why was she so dumb? She was mentally lecturing herself.

"Rachel," Ross said suddenly. "I think you didn't edit your resume."

"Oh come on, really?" she asked.

"How are your compuper skills?" he asked, quoting her.

"Nooo!" she cried. "Is it on all of them?"

"Just a few," Joey sniggered. Phoebe started laughing hysterically. Joey felt pretty proud of his joke. He even beat Chandler, who was looking at him almost stunned.

"Wow, Joe," he said. "You got me on that one."

"Sure did," Joey grinned. Nerd, he thought.

"Damn it," Rachel said. "K, we gotta redo all this." Everyone stopped and reversed the procession line, collectively sighing as they did so.

"So Joey totally was crying last night," Chandler said, getting even for Joey stealing his joke.

"Chandler!" Joey yelped. Ross sniggered.

"Why?" Monica asked.

"We whupped him at poker," Ross explained.

"My card was covered in food. I thought it was a different number," Joey whined.

"He put a whole new meaning to read 'em and weep!" Chandler joked. Ross barked out a laugh. Phoebe felt sorry for Joey. They misunderstood him, much like they misunderstood her.

"So how come we aren't allowed to play with you?" Monica asked. "Think we'll beat your ass?"

"Yea," Phoebe went along. "What is it a sexist thing? Boys are the only one who can pok 'er?" She giggled to herself. Joey caught the joke and laughed too, which made her feel warm.

"What?" Ross asked. He was confused.

"What is it?" Phoebe asked instead.

The evening switched from monotonous work to fun, which pleased the boys. They were going to enjoy making the girls look dumb. Indeed, there were a lot of wrong doings on the girls' part, which exasperated the boys. For example, Phoebe said she needed a ten of spades, and Rachel gave it to her. In the end they lost, and they wanted a rematch.

"I think you guys had better stop while you're ahead," Ross advised. "My wallet can only take so much cash..." Monica chucked a pillow at his head, which he deflected with the door on his way out. Joey and Chandler were cackling together as they left.

"Ooohhh those boys!" Monica growled, frustrated. "We'll show 'em."

 **A few days later**

"Do you think Ross let Rachel win cos he's in love with her?" Phoebe asked Monica. They were sitting in Monica's apartment looking over jobs for Rachel.

"Huh? No way! Rachel won fair and square. Don't even suggest that," Monica warned.

"Sorry." Phoebe felt pretty sure Ross did exactly that, but she kept her opinion to herself. She kept thinking about Joey and the way he played poker so easily. She had tried not to look at him so much, but she felt she lost that battle. He didn't seem to have noticed.

"Hey, are you feeling better?" Monica asked.

"Huh? Oh, yea," Phoebe said. "Much better."

"Good. You didn't get a hair cut after all then?"

"No. No, I changed my mind," Phoebe trailed off.

"Oh." They were silent for a while.

"Hey," Rachel said, coming in and hanging up her coat. "I'm exhausted. Can we just hang out tonight? Us girls?"

"Sure," Monica said. "Ice cream?"

"You know it," Rachel replied. Monica went for it while Rachel flopped onto the couch.

"It'll get better," Phoebe promised her. She smiled back.

"Thanks, Phoebs."

"We should go watch a movie," Monica suggested. "That'd be fun."

"Um, okay," Rachel said. She made to get up when Chandler and Joey walked in.

"Did I hear you say a movie?" Joey asked. "I like movies."

"Well, it's a girl's thing..."

"Plus two guys," Chandler finished for Monica. "It'll be fun!" He really wanted to go spend time with her. They all looked at Rachel.

"Go ahead," she said, waving at them. "I've got a headache anyway."

"You sure?" Monica asked.

"Yea."

"All right." And so the four went to see a movie together. Phoebe was pleased at this turn of events. Perhaps she could get to sit beside Joey in the dark. That would be the highlight of her day.

* * *

 **So, what do you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you, thank you, thank you simplymondler and Loggie12 for your reviews! I was pretty much giving up on this story as there didn't seem to be any interest. Just so you know, I'm changing it to include all the friends as I got some wicked ideas suddenly today on how to make it better.**

Chandler was feeling pretty good. He had spent almost two hours beside Monica with her head resting on his shoulder. He wasn't sure if she had meant to do that at all, so he didn't move the entire time. Now his back was so sore and his neck stiff that he could barely walk. He didn't complain, though. Then she would know.

"How was the movie?" Rachel asked when they entered the apartment. Ross was there with Marcel too.

"Brilliant!" Monica said.

"Amazing," Phoebe added.

"Suck fest," Joey spit out. Phoebe flinched openly. Chandler wasn't sure why.

"Total chick flick," he threw in so Joey wouldn't question his manhood. He actually hadn't minded the movie.

"I'm sorry there wasn't enough violence for you," Phoebe said to Joey.

"A little nudity would have been nice," he retorted.

"There was!"

"Female nudity!" Joey said, holding his hand up. "Frolicking men is not a turn on for me."

"Enough about frolicking men!" Chandler said loudly, covering his ears. Monica laughed. He beamed inside. He lived for making Monica laugh.

"Well, I gotta get going," Ross said. "Come on, Marcel!"

"They friends again?" Joey muttered to Chandler.

"Looks that way," Chandler replied, shrugging.

"Barry is marrying Mindy!" Rachel cried as soon as Ross was gone. Monica and Phoebe snapped their heads up.

"What?!" they cried in unison.

"Look!" Rachel said, shoving the country club news into their hands.

"Wow!" Monica said, looking at Mindy. She caught Rachel's facial expression. "What a douche bag!" she added for good measure. She kept it to herself that Mindy looked hot.

"She's hot," Chandler said, not getting that message. Monica whacked him with it. "Ow!"

"You're hurting Rachel's feelings!" she lectured.

"Sorry," Chandler said, rubbing his forehead. She really did have a strong arm on her to make paper hurt like that. She sighed and tossed the paper down.

"So what are you gonna do?" Phoebe asked.

"I don't know. Nothing, I guess. I should have seen it coming," Rachel replied, pacing.

"This is getting too girly for me," Joey said, getting up to leave. "My girly limit is way down here after that movie." He demonstrated with his hands. He gave a meaningful look at Chandler.

"Oh. I guess my limit is very small too," Chandler said. He didn't want to leave.

"See you later," Monica smiled. His heart fluttered. He sure would.

"Bye!" Phoebe called after them. Chandler noticed she looked disappointed. He wondered why.

 **The Next Day**

"How do you lose a monkey?" Joey asked Rachel, who was crying.

"He bolted out the door when I was taking the trash out! I guess the door didn't shut behind me all the way. Oh my God you guys have to help me," she begged.

"Whoa, negativity alert," Phoebe said coming inside. She felt pleased to see Joey there.

"Marcel ran away," Monica explained. "And he took a crap in my shoe."

"The left one? Cos that would be lucky..." Phoebe trailed off, seeing Monica's unhappy face.

"We'll search the building," Monica offered. "In teams."

"I call Joey!" Phoebe cried out. They turned to look at her. "What? He's fun."

"Aww thanks, Phoebs," Joey smiled. She beamed at him in return.

"Okay, so Chandler you're with me," Monica finished. Chandler was beaming as well, Phoebe noticed.

"Off we go," Joey said, taking Phoebe's arm in his. She giggled, covering her mouth.

"Start on the second floor," Monica ordered.

"Okay!" Joey called back. They ascended the stairs.

"Not everyday you're out looking for a monkey," Phoebe commented.

"I guess not," Joey said, thinking about it for a moment.

"So, are you dating anyone?" Phoebe asked, making conversation.

"Well, not really. There's always someone I'm interested in," Joey began. "But they have to be interested back you see."

"Oohh," Phoebe said, nodding like she understood. They came across a door that was closed.

"Hey, let's try asking people," Joey suggested. Phoebe agreed. A woman answered when they knocked. Phoebe immediately noticed the woman was covered in sweat and wearing bare minimum for clothes. It took Joey a few seconds to register this.

"H-hi," he stuttered. "Have you seen a...a monkey?" He swallowed hard. Phoebe felt the familiar animal inside of her trying to claw its way out of her stomach and into her mouth where it would eject itself and make her scream and jump on this horrible woman who was now clearly seducing Joey.

"No, I haven't," the woman said. "Do you know how to fix a radiator?" A second sweaty woman appeared. Joey had lost his ability to speak now.

"Turn the knob the other way," Phoebe snapped. "And put some clothes on!" She marched off, dragging Joey with her.

"B-but Phoebs!" he cried. "They were so beautiful."

"We are on a mission, soldier," Phoebe said roughly. "And no soldier gets left behind!"

"O-okay," Joey said, not understanding.

"There's a little monkey out there counting on us. Would you feel good about forgetting about him in order to score?" Phoebe demanded.

"No, I guess not," Joey sighed deeply.

"Come on," Phoebe said, stomping ahead. Joey felt confused. Phoebe never got this upset about him flirting with women before. He wondered what was up with her. He didn't want to ask because he was afraid she would hit him.

 **Downstairs**

"Come on, Mr. Heckles!" Monica shouted as the door slammed into her face.

"He's a total weirdo," Chandler commented as they walked away.

"He's a freak," Monica corrected.

"Sure," Chandler agreed. Monica sighed in frustration.

"Now what do we do?" she asked.

"Head back to the apartment I guess," Chandler said. "Maybe he came back?"

"Not really much else we can do," Monica nodded. "Let's go." Rachel and Ross were talking with a woman in uniform when they arrived.

"Couldn't find Marcel," Chandler said. Rachel gave him dagger eyes as did Ross.

"Who's Marcel?" the woman asked.

"My crazy uncle," Ross answered quickly. "He loves to wander the building but then gets lost."

"Is that who you named the monkey after?" Phoebe asked, coming up behind them and hearing this.

"Okay," the woman said. "You know owning an exotic animal is illegal and you can do time in jail for that." Ross swallowed hard.

"Is there any way we can, um, pretend this never happened uhhh?" Monica paused.

"Luisa, and no, I don't think so," Luisa said. "I find him, he's mine." She stormed out.

"Damn it, Phoebe!" Ross yelled. "Can't you ever keep your mouth shut?"

"I'm sorry," Phoebe said tearfully. Joey put his arm around her.

"Geez, Ross, she didn't know that Marcel was illegal. Give her a break!"

"Just find him first!" Ross shouted, grabbing his coat and bursting out of the apartment. Rachel followed after him.

"Let's check the basement," Monica suggested to Chandler. He nodded in agreement and they left.

"His words hurt sometimes," Phoebe sniffed. Joey rubbed her back soothingly.

"I know. I don't think he realizes it," he offered. Phoebe gave him a small smile. She had to give credit to Marcel. Without him running away, she wouldn't have this one on one time with Joey. She was grateful for that.

 **In the basement**

"There he is!" Monica cried. "Marcel! Come here!" The monkey ignored her. Chandler went around to the other side.

"We can scare him out," he said.

"Aha!" Luisa shouted. "Move!" She was aiming her gun.

"What is that?!" Monica cried.

"A small tranquilizer dart," Luisa offered. Chandler saw Monica looking upset, so he made his decision. When Luisa aimed, he dove in front of Marcel. The dart struck him in the behind, making him yelp. He crashed hard, making Monica scream. Marcel took off. Luisa looked mildly scared but then took off after the monkey.

"Chandler! Are you all right?" Monica cried, kneeling down beside him.

"Yea. Just got a dart in my ass," Chandler said, pointing.

"Oh dear," she said. "Should I pull it out?"

"I'd rather not leave it as an add-on," Chandler tried to joke. She yanked it out. "OWW!"

"Sorry," she said. "Come on. Let's get you back upstairs."

 **Outside**

"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry, Ross?" Rachel asked, angry now. "I can't go back in time!"

"I know that! I'm just angry!" he shouted back. He kicked a lamppost. "Ow! Now I have no monkey and a broken foot!" He hopped around in pain.

"Here, I'll make it even to make you feel better," Rachel said. She kicked the lamppost then yelped. "Now I have a broken foot too!"

"That was stupid," Ross said. She started crying again.

"You've been overly emotional all week," he said. "What's wrong? Aside from losing my monkey and Barry marrying Mindy."

"Nothing," Rachel lied. There was a big something. Something so big she couldn't even bear to tell Monica about.

"Are you sure? You can tell me," Ross said. She considered it for a moment, but then changed her mind. She just shook her head. They both noticed a crate of bananas going inside.

"Did you see that too?" he asked.

"Yea. Let's go!" she said, hobbling in front of him. They reached the apartment of Mr. Heckles where the banana man was heading.

"Give me my monkey!" Ross yelled at him.

"It's my monkey," Mr. Heckles argued.

"Let's have the court decide," Luisa said, coming up behind them. Rachel groaned.

"He's not mine," Mr. Heckles decided, shutting the door as Luisa grabbed Marcel from him.

"Come on, Luisa! We're adults here! Just give my friend the monkey," she ordered.

"Forget it," Luisa said.

"All right then," Monica said, coming into view and holding a dart. "How about I tell your supervisor that you shot my friend in the ass with this dart?"

 **Later**

"I'm glad this is all sorted out," Rachel said, watching Ross interact with Marcel.

"Me too," he agreed. He looked up at her. He really wanted to tell her how he felt. Everyone else knew how he felt about her, so why was it so hard to tell her? Rachel looked away after a moment. She figured if he stared at her long enough, he'd put it together.

"So," Ross said.

"So."

They looked at each other again. Rachel swallowed. Had he figured it out?

"Rachel!" Barry yelled, bursting inside. "I still love you! I can't marry Mindy!"

"Oh. My. God," Ross said. He really wanted to just scream.

"Oh!" Rachel cried. She covered her mouth with her hands. She had not expected this.

"I'll just go," Ross said, catching Marcel and putting him on his shoulder. He did not want to witness this. Rachel wished he would stay, but he was already gone.

"Barry," she began. "This is crazy. You can't still be in love with me!"

"But I am," Barry said. "Please, you gotta give me another chance!"

"No. I can't," Rachel said.

"Just think about it. Please! I'll wait for your call," Barry said. He abruptly turned away and left. Rachel stood there feeling very small.

"I can't," she whispered to herself. "Because I'm pregnant."

 **Chandler's apartment**

"Oh, oh, oh," he chanted. "Ow, ow, ow!"

"What is it?" Monica asked. She was in the kitchen making him dinner while he was lying on the couch.

"My other butt cheek has woken up," Chandler said. He jumped up, dancing around. "Ah, ah, ah!"

"You sound like a monkey," Monica smirked.

"Oh, thanks," Chandler replied sarcastically. He hopped over to her and sat on the stool in front of the counter.

"Here," Monica said, passing him a plate of spaghetti. "Eat."

"Thanks," he said, digging into it with a fork. She started heading for the door.

"You're not staying?" he asked. She stopped and turned.

"I don't think so," she said. "I have a 'Rachel is upset' vibe."

"Oh, okay," Chandler said, feeling disappointed. "Have fun."

"It's not the kind of fun I enjoy," Monica smiled grimly. "Goodnight." She slipped out into the hallway and paused before going into her apartment. She had noticed weird feelings she was getting around Chandler. She wasn't sure she liked it. She was taken by surprise how much she had been excited to search for Marcel with him alone. She shook her head. She was losing it. They were just friends. It would be stupid to think it could be more than that. She opened her door and was not at all surprised to see Rachel standing there crying her eyes out. She sighed. It was going to be a long night.

 **Phoebe & Joey**

They were walking on the streets of New York together after having some pizza. It was a warm night, and Phoebe was feeling even warmer walking beside Joey.

"You feeling better?" Joey asked.

"Yea. Thanks. And thanks for dinner," Phoebe said. He smiled at her.

"My pleasure. Always nice to take a beautiful woman out to dinner," he added. Phoebe blushed at this. He thought she was beautiful? It made her almost want to spit it all out to him and see what happened, but she held back. It would only damage things. She was using the example of Ross and Rachel to justify this. He was crazy about her, and she didn't even know, but they were already fighting like a couple. She didn't want that with Joey. But still...

"So, Phoebs, any hot guys lately?" Joey asked, breaking into her thoughts.

 _Oh you have no idea,_ she thought to herself, gazing at him appreciatively.

"No, not really," she said out loud.

"I'm sure there will be one soon," he winked at her. "I've got a hot date myself tomorrow night."

"Really?" Phoebe asked. "How? We didn't meet any girls."

"The one from upstairs, remember?" he said. "She caught me in the hall and gave me her number. It's gonna be great!"

"Yea. Great," Phoebe said, feeling her insides crumble. So maybe she couldn't just be friends with Joey. How the hell was she going to survive this?

 **Sooo...thoughts? I know I have a lot going on, but to be fair, there are six of them! Hope you liked this chapter. If you have any suggestions, I'll keep them in mind! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks again for the reviews! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I've tried to do some more development.**

"Chandler is seeing someone?" Monica asked casually after hearing Joey and Ross going on about it.

"Yea. This woman he met at a bank. They seemed to hit it off," Ross explained. Joey sniggered.

"What's so funny?" Monica asked.

"He's gonna put his money in the bank," Joey chortled.

"That's weird, Joe," Ross commented. Joey stopped laughing. Monica felt a little weird at this thought of Chandler dating someone. She wasn't sure why. They were just friends. He could see anyone he wanted to. As could she. Well, if a decent man existed that is.

"Hello, children," Chandler said, entering the cafe.

"So, how was the big date," Joey asked.

"It was fantastic! We were ourselves completely. No drama whatsoever!" Chandler exclaimed. He plopped down beside Monica, making her wish he hadn't. He noticed her stiffen at his presence, and he briefly wondered that could mean.

"So have you called her?"

"And tell her my feelings? What am I? Nuts?" Chandler scoffed.

"You're an idiot," Ross commented. "Just call her."

"Don't pressure him," Monica said. "If he doesn't want to call her, then he doesn't have to." Chandler looked at her appreciatively.

"See? This is a woman who gets me," Chandler said. Monica blushed on the inside.

"So how did you meet anyway?" Monica asked him nonchalantly.

"I was at the bank. I was trying to deposit my money," Chandler started. Joey began sniggering at this until Ross cut him a glare. "Then, boom! I drop my bank card, and we knock heads as we both went to pick it up."

"She was trying to steal your bank card?" Monica asked. "Sounds like a great catch!"

"No, no, she was trying to get it for me. She thought I didn't notice," Chandler corrected her. Monica made an "ah" face to show she understood.

"You guys!" Phoebe called, coming inside. "Rachel's outside with Barry!" They all spun their heads around to see Rachel and Barry talking animatedly. Ross visibly looked crushed. Monica felt bad for him.

"Look away! Look away!" Phoebe hissed when Rachel turned to come inside.

"So I had a hot date last night," Joey said, making it look like they weren't staring.

"You always have a hot date," Rachel laughed, coming to sit with them.

"I know," Joey winked. Phoebe bristled at this. Who the hell was he dating now?

"Was it the girl from upstairs?" Chandler asked. "Cos yea, she was smokin'."

"No. I'm not calling her back," Joey shrugged.

"Why not?" Phoebe asked.

"She's kind of weird. Wanted me Dine and Dash," Joey said. "I don't do that to my favorite restaurants."

"Sounds like she lives on the wild side," Chandler commented.

"Too wild for me," Joey shook his head.

"So, you're telling Barry no, right?" Ross asked. Rachel didn't hear him as she was distracted by her own thoughts. She was thinking maybe she could get with Barry and then pass the baby off as his. People did that, right?

"Rach?"

"Hmm? Oh, yea. I will. Later. We really had a good time today," Rachel said. She went on about the day she had. Ross was wilting by the minute. Chandler noticed this clearly.

"Can I borrow the phone?" he asked Gunther, who passed it to him. "See? I'm calling her." They all watched as he dialed.

"He'll panic," Joey confirmed. Sure enough, Chandler slammed his thumb on the phone to hang it up, making him drop the phone and swat it in the air a couple of times before successfully grabbing it again.

"That was terrifying," he said.

"What was?"

"Her answering machine! I'm no good at leaving messages."

"Wimp," Monica coughed. He looked over at her. She shrugged in return.

"Dude, you gotta get over that," Joey said.

"I'm not going to leave a message because I end up saying something stupid like indeedy-o," Chandler frowned. Ross gave him a thankful look, showing him that he knew why Chandler had made this particular scene.

"I gotta get going," Ross said. He turned to Rachel. "Break up with him! He's no good for you." Rachel nodded absently, not hearing a word. Monica and Phoebe shared a look. They were going to talk to her as soon as they could.

 **Later**

"Does Rachel seem...odd to you?" Joey asked Chandler. They were back in their apartment, and Chandler was staring at the phone, willing it to ring. He wasn't even sure why he wanted to date this girl when he was thinking about Monica, but he figured maybe he should let that dream die since she was Ross's brother and his best friend. That never ended well.

"I dunno," Chandler replied absently, feeling Joey's stare until he answered.

"She'll call, man," Joey said. "I know it."

"Not after my embarrassing message," Chandler winced. Even Monica had laughed.

"How bad could it have been?" Joey asked, having missed it.

"I pretended to be surprised to get her machine then banged some dishes around and said 'bye bye,'" Chandler told him. Joey started laughing hysterically.

"Dude!" he said, wiping his eyes. "She's not gonna call you back."

"Don't say that!" Chandler shouted. He grabbed his phone and marched over to Monica's.

"What do you want?" she asked when he came in.

"I need to borrow your phone," he said.

"For the record, you are holding a phone," she pointed out.

"Ahuhyuh," Chandler drabbled, making a face. He dialed on her phone, making is ring. "It does work! Thanks." Then he flopped down on the couch, sighing. Monica shook her head at his antics. He was cute when he was flustered.

"Ew, ew, ew!" Phoebe called from the window.

"That peeper again?" Monica asked.

"Yea," she replied. "He's got a telescope now."

"He what?!" Joey asked, outraged. Monica hadn't seen him come in. "Let me see." He took the binoculars from Phoebe, who was feeling hot at his closeness suddenly. Monica was watching her reaction closely. Phoebe was seemingly more odd than usual when Joey was around. Could that mean...?

"You know, I can't do stuff when he's watching," Joey lamented.

"Like what?" Monica asked, curious.

"Like cook naked," Joey said.

"You cook naked?" Phoebe asked. She was really intrigued now. In fact, she was visualizing it.

"All the time," Joey grinned. She and Monica looked at Chandler.

"Don't look at me I had no idea," Chandler said, his face filled with horror. Joey just smirked with pleasure at all the attention he was getting now.

"Has Rachel come back yet?" Ross asked as he entered and hung up his coat.

"Not yet," Monica told him. He gave a frustrated sigh.

"How can she even think about going back with Barry?" he asked.

"I dunno. Cos you're not making a move on her?" Chandler asked.

"How's that phone call coming, Chandler?" Ross snapped at him, making Chandler shrink into the couch, hoping nobody would start on him again.

"Hello!" Rachel called, finally coming home. Ross's head jolted up at the sight of her. Monica wondered how Rachel really couldn't see how much he loved her.

"How did it go? Did he take it hard?" Ross asked.

"It went fine..." Rachel trailed off. Monica saw the floss in her hair.

"Pretty fine I'd say," Monica said, pulling it out.

"Rachel!" Ross yelped.

"What? It's natural to want to be with someone you're familiar with. Like, if Carol came here and wanted you back," Rachel said.

"That is not the same thing!" Ross said, exasperated. He stood to leave.

"Going so soon?" Chandler asked.

"I have...things to do...people to see, and I'm late doing that," he said, storming out. Rachel knew he was upset. She couldn't figure out why. He had asked if he could date her, but then he never asked her on a date, so why did he care so much if she was with someone else? She felt a huge wave of nausea suddenly, so she bolted to the bathroom. Phoebe heard her retching.

"Um, Monica?" Phoebe said, coming over to her. "Is Rachel sick?"

"No, why?"

"I can hear her in there..." Phoebe stopped. Joey and Chandler were watching them.

"Don't you have something better to do?" Monica asked roughly. The jumped up to leave, not wanting to experience the wrath of Monica.

"Did you see the vein?" Joey was whispering as they left.

"Do I really have a vein?" Monica asked Phoebe.

"Oh, yea," Phoebe said, laughing a little. "It's popping out right now."

"Oh, God," Monica said, covering her head.

"Sorry, you guys," Rachel said, coming out of the bathroom. She looked pale.

"Are you okay?" Monica asked her. Rachel debated telling her the truth. She really did. Even Phoebe looked concerned.

"I...I think so. I just need to set up a doctor's appointment. I haven't been feeling the greatest lately," Rachel said. Monica looked at her hard.

"Something you want to tell us, Rach?" Monica prodded.

"Nope. Just unwell. Happens to the best of us," Rachel said, skirting the issue. "So, Phoebs, how's your singing career going?" Monica narrowed her eyes. When Rachel Green changed the subject, there was something up.

"Pretty good actually," Phoebe said. "I've perfected Smelly Cat."

"That's great! I'd love to hear it sometime," Rachel said. "I'm just going to lie down for a while, okay?" She left the other two standing there looking at each other.

"She's hiding something," Monica said. Phoebe nodded.

"Like a baby," Phoebe said, guessing.

"What?! No way," Monica said. Then she thought about it. "Really?"

"I dunno. I was just guessing," Phoebe shrugged. "Her aura looks like it's doubled."

"Phoebs, no way is Rachel pregnant. She would have told me..." Monica trailed off. Would she have though?

"I gotta get going anyway," Phoebe said. She didn't want to run into Joey's date in the hallway. She didn't think she could hold off smacking the girl with her purse on the way by. Another assault charge and she was going to jail.

 **The Next Day**

Monica couldn't help herself. She saw Chandler sitting there staring at his phone, so she crept up behind him quietly.

"Brrrr!" she shrilled into his ear. He leapt forward like a gunshot, grabbing his phone.

"Hello? Hello?!" he said. Then he looked at her. "Satan loves people like you," he told her.

"I couldn't help it," she laughed. "You looked so serious."

"She's not calling, Mon," Chandler said. "I guess I blew it."

"Oh well. There's better girls out there," Monica said. _Like me_ , she wanted to say. Then she wondered why on earth she would think that. They were just friends. Friends, friends, friends!

"I'm sure you're right, but I repel women. There's just something about me," Chandler sighed.

"Oh, don't be so hard on yourself," she said, patting his shoulder. He reveled in her touch. He looked at her then as she worked on making breakfast. Maybe he should take the chance. He could outrun Ross. He was sure of it.

"Hey, Mon?" he asked.

"The peeper's back!" Joey shouted, bursting into the apartment and ruining any chance of Chandler's nerve to ask Monica out.

"What?" Monica asked.

"Yea, get down!" he said.

"I'm not getting down," Monica scoffed. "I live here! This is my apartment!"

"Morning, Mon," Rachel said, coming out of her room.

"And Rachel's apartment!" Monica added in case her friend had heard her. "We shouldn't have to live in fear of peepers!"

"That's right," Rachel chimed in. "Anyhow, I have to go see what Mindy wants." She had been called by her friend last night, and she was freaking out that Mindy knew she was sleeping with Barry. How ironic.

"Good luck," Monica said as she left.

"I'm gonna find out who this guy is," Joey huffed. "Invasion of privacy is rude!" He ran out the door as well. Chandler looked at Monica, who shrugged and laughed.

"Call her again," Monica said.

"I do have some pride, you know. I already left a message," Chandler replied.

"Do you?"

"Not really. Okay here goes." He dialed the number and it rang. "Danielle! Hi! Yes, my phone has been turned off so I didn't know if you'd tried to call me...Okay, I'll hold."

"You'll hold?" Monica asked.

"Yea. She's on the other line and is going to call me back," Chandler said. He felt giddy. Monica rolled her eyes as he danced around.

 **Later**

"Hey, Chandler. Our phone isn't working," Joey said, crashing into Monica's apartment. "I tried to call."

"What? No, no, no!" Chandler said. "I turned it off! How could I have turned it off!"

"Like you said you did," Monica sniggered. He glared at her. "Just pointing out the irony." She held up her hands.

"Aww man," Chandler moaned.

"Just call her again," Phoebe suggested.

"I look like a moron!" Chandler yelled. "I'm not calling her again!"

"Anyway, Mon, I need your phone since the phone Nazi here won't give it over," Joey said. "I'm calling our peeper!"

"You're what?!" Monica asked, afraid suddenly.

"Yea, hi, is this Sidney?" Joey asked. "Yea, stop staring at me and my friends! It's rude! It's...well thank you." He went from outraged to charming within seconds.

"That's disgusting," Phoebe said, watching him look at the window at the girl. "How can he go from defending our privacy to being turned on like that?" It really upset her. It didn't take much for him did it?

"He's Joey," Monica said. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Phoebe answered quickly. "I just don't get it."

"Me either, but I don't cry about it," Monica snorted. Phoebe turned away from her then to hide her tears.

"There, it's over," Rachel said, coming inside and slamming the door. "Mindy and I dumped Barry's sorry, cheating ass."

"Good for you!" Monica clapped.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to lie down," Rachel said.

"Did you go see your doctor?" Phoebe asked.

"Not yet. That's tomorrow," Rachel said. She closed her door behind her, resting her back on it. She was definitely pregnant. Nothing seemed to want to stay down, and smells were starting to make her vomit. She was scared. What was she going to do alone in New York as a waitress and living with her best friend while having a baby? She crashed onto her bed, trying not to get ahead of herself. It would all work out. It had to.

 **The Next Day**

"So I'm not seeing Danielle anymore," Chandler said. "Too needy." He wouldn't admit the real reason, that he didn't find her as funny as Monica. She also didn't laugh at his jokes like Monica did.

"Chandler!" Monica hurled a pillow at him. "You're so stupid." Secretly, she felt glad.

"Well I've got a hot date with Sidney," Joey bragged.

"Yes, you've said that already," Phoebe snarked.

"What's with you?" Ross asked.

"Too many cups of coffee," Phoebe lied.

"Where's Rachel anyway?" Ross asked Monica, dropping the conversation with Phoebe as he knew it wouldn't really go anywhere.

"She's out. Didn't say where. I'm worried about her," Monica said.

"Me too. I'll talk to her when I see her," Ross said, getting up to leave.

"Where are you going?" Joey asked.

"Work. Like a normal person," Ross replied. The others looked at each other then laughed. Ross left the cafe shaking his head. He had lied. He was going to find Rachel. He needed to tell her how he felt before some other guy swooped in and took her away again. A man on a mission, he hurried through the streets hoping he'd find her soon, hoping that she would say yes to a date with him despite his taking so long.

 **I'm sorry if it feels rushy. I wanted to update so as not to leave you guys hanging!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you Simplymondler and Guest for your reviews! I am in fact cooking up another story as the idea hit me last night like a lightning bolt ;) You'll see it come up eventually.**

 **A couple of weeks later**

"I don't get it, man," Joey said. "Why didn't you tell her?"

"Because she was crying and not making any sense," Ross said. His mind was still on fire from their conversation.

 _"Rach, you okay?" he had asked her, seeing her sitting on the curb outside of a doctor's office._

 _"No!" she had shouted. "I'm not okay. I am NOT okay. I'm never going to be okay again!"_

 _"Why don't you just start by telling me what's not okay?" Ross had suggested._

 _"I'm pregnant," Rachel had blurted out. He had stared at her. She had begged him to keep it a secret for a while longer, that no one knew._

Rachel was pregnant. Pregnant. Expecting a baby. Rachel was having a baby. This kept going through Ross's mind over and over again like a batting cage where the word pregnant was the baseball and he was smacking it away only to have it come back full force again.

"So, what, you're just never going to tell her?" Joey asked, cutting into his thoughts. Ross looked at him sharply.

"No, I don't think so. Can we drop this please?" Ross asked. Paolo was the father. Rachel had been certain of that. She wasn't going to tell him. She was doing it on her own. Ross felt like he wanted to do the right thing by her, but he couldn't imagine himself ever looking at the child without thinking about Paolo, and that wasn't fair to Rachel. He was beginning to think she didn't need to know how he felt. He'd just be the friend she needed during this difficult time.

"I'm seeing Sidney again," Joey said. "You know, the peeper girl?"

"Huh?" Ross asked.

"God, Ross, I listen to all your dinosaur crap," Joey said angrily. "Can't you listen to me for once?"

"Sorry. Something about Sidney," Ross said.

"Ugh, really?" Phoebe said, coming into the cafe. She dropped into the armchair heavily.

"Yes, really," Joey said, frowning. "She was super hot, and she likes pizza. Oh, and meatball subs! Oh, and Die Hard!" Joey got more excited as the list grew of how many things in common he had with Sidney.

"So, Phoebs," Ross said, growing irritated by this. "What's going on with you?"

"Well, you know I started teaching my clients to do work at home massages right? Yea, they're doing it. I don't have a job currently," Phoebe said. She was doing her best to not think about Joey and Sidney in his apartment watching Die Hard and eating meatball pizzas together.

"Chandler could help you out there," Ross suggested.

"Chandler could what now?" Chandler asked, overhearing this as he joined them.

"Help Phoebe get a job at your office."

"Oohhhh. Well, that includes being normal for eight hours a day," Chandler joked.

"I can do that," Phoebe said seriously. She watched as Joey was looking at the ceiling and ticking his fingers off like he was counting something.

"What are you doing?" Chandler asked him.

"Making a list of all the things Sidney and I have in common," Joey said. "It's a lot!"

"Great, so, back to me," Phoebe said quickly. "What's the job?"

"Answering a phone and doing administration work," Chandler said.

"I'm a good administrator," Phoebe said, nodding. "I can do it."

"All right. Well, I'll see you tomorrow then," Chandler said. Phoebe stared at him for a moment.

"I mean, after today. I'll see you tomorrow after this moment right now," Chandler explained.

"Hey, you guys," Rachel said coming in too. She was starting her shift. Ross avoided her glance. Rachel noticed this and felt a pang of regret for spilling her guts to him that day.

"Hey, Rach, coffee?" Chandler asked. She nodded, going to get it. "Where's Mon anyway?"

"Out with Ethan," Ross said absently. He chose this time to pull out his beeper and examine it.

"Ethan? As in, young Ethan?" Joey asked.

"Yea. They seem to be hitting it off," Ross replied.

"Oh," Chandler said. He felt a pang of jealousy. A young man, eh? He tried not to picture what they'd be doing right now.

"Here," Rachel said, passing him his coffee.

"So what's that?" Chandler asked Ross, gesturing to the beeper. Anything to get his mind off of Monica.

"It's for when Carol has the baby," Ross explained. Rachel clattered the dishes in her hand at the word "baby." Joey briefly looked at her, concerned, but turned back to Ross.

"Very cool," Chandler replied. "So that's any day now?"

"Yup. Very soon," Ross nodded. Rachel dropped utensils on the floor next.

"Do you need help?" Phoebe asked. Then it hit her. "Hey! I could be a waitress!"

"No, no, Phoebs. I'm okay," Rachel said. "I've just got...um...weak wrists today."

"Well, I'm off to meet Sidney," Joey said, getting up. Phoebe looked at him longingly. Rachel caught this, and she met Phoebe's eyes for a quick second afterward before Phoebe looked away fast.

"I have to get back to work," Ross said. Rachel wanted to call out for him to stay a moment, but he stealthily avoided her before going out the door.

"I have to...well, I don't have to do anything," Chandler said. "But I feel I should be doing something since you all are." He got up and left too. Phoebe was the last one sitting.

"Everything okay?" Rachel asked her.

"Oh yea," Phoebe said.

"You looked a little sad when Joey mentioned his date," Rachel prodded. She wasn't entirely stupid. Well, she might be, but she refused to acknowledge the little person inside of her as something that was created because of her stupidity.

"I feel sorry for her," Phoebe lied. "He'll just dump her like he does everyone else."

"Maybe, maybe not," Rachel said.

"Fine, take his side!" Phoebe shouted, getting up and storming out. Rachel was left standing there holding her t-towel wondering what just happened.

 **The Next Day**

"It was Ross," Phoebe said, hanging up the phone. It was her first day, and she felt she was doing well.

"Nice work," Chandler said, going back to his doodling. He noticed she was still sitting there. "Anything else I can help you with?"

"Not really. Oh, um, how was Joey's date last night?" Phoebe asked.

"It was..."

"Wait! Don't tell me!" Phoebe cried, changing her mind.

"All right," Chandler said.

"Well, give me something," Phoebe said again, her attitude changing. Chandler stared at her.

"Are you sure? Or are you going to go all kung fu on my ass when I tell you?" he asked.

"Tell me. No, don't. Yes, do. Oh God!" Phoebe cried, banging her fist onto his desk. "This is so hard!"

"What is?"

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing," Phoebe said, getting up.

"Do you like Joey?" Chandler asked, picking up on something.

"N-no. Of course not! That's so stupid," Phoebe prattled. She went out the door, slamming it behind her. Chandler jumped at the sound. If he didn't know any better, he believed Phoebe had a thing for Joey.

 _No different than secretly pining for Monica_ , his voice told him.

"Ah shut up," he muttered to himself.

 **Monica & Rachel**

"I think I'm going crazy!" Monica yelped. She had forgotten what she was even cooking, and that was so unlike her. She was flying around the apartment cleaning like mad while Rachel was sitting on the couch with a magazine.

"Why are you suddenly so...oh," Rachel said, putting it together. "Are you gonna...?"

"I don't know," Monica responded quickly. "Who knows anything?"

"Have you shaved your legs?" Rachel asked, looking over her magazine at her.

"Well...yea," Monica caved.

"Then you know something," Rachel winked.

"It's a precaution!" Monica said defensively. Rachel just laughed and shook her head at her friend. She wished it was her going on a date. With this baby, she wouldn't be dating for a very long time.

"Are you all right, sweetie?" Monica asked, noticing Rachel's sudden subdued mood.

"I may have told Ross something that freaked him out," Rachel said absently.

"Like what?" Monica asked, coming over to sit beside her.

"I promise I'll tell you after your date," Rachel said.

"But I want to know now! You can't leave me hang-..." Monica was cut off by the ding of her oven. "Oh God! It's time. He'll be here any second!"

"You'll be great, Mon," Rachel said, patting her friend's leg. "I'll just be down at Central Perk."

"Oh, wait! You had something to tell me," Monica remembered, frowning.

"I said I'd tell you after your date," Rachel reiterated. "Have fun. I'll see you later." She snagged her purse on the way out the door. She ran into Ethan in the hallway. He looked just as much of a nervous wreck as Monica did. She smiled to herself as she went down the stairs. Those kind of dates were something she was going to really miss.

"Hey, Chandler," she said, bumping into him.

"Hi. Where are you off to?" he asked.

"Just getting out of the apartment. Ethan's arriving," Rachel said, emphasizing his name.

"Really? I gotta get a look at this guy," Chandler said, bolting up the stairs. Rachel stared after him. She wondered why he cared so much. She finally got to the cafe with her magazine when Ross came in. He didn't notice her right away, and she was unsure of what to even say to him that wouldn't make him bolt like a deer. He grabbed his coffee and stopped in his tracks when he saw her sitting there watching him.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," she replied. There was an awkward silence.

"I'll see you later," he said finally.

"Wait! Ross, I need to talk to you," Rachel said. He turned to look at her. "Please? Just sit." He looked conflicted before sighing and coming to the couch and sitting beside her.

"Look," she started. "I know I freaked you out the other day. I'm sorry for that. I was just so...scared, and I didn't know what I was going to do. I still don't! But I want you to know that I'm going to tell Monica tonight after her date. It won't be a secret anymore."

"Okay," Ross nodded. "That's good."

"Can we still be friends?" she asked.

"Why wouldn't we be?" he asked back.

"Well, I know you wanted to take me on a date cos you mentioned that a few months ago, and I know we never got that chance to, so I thought maybe you still wanted that," Rachel went on.

"I moved on from that when you started dating other people," Ross lied. Rachel looked disappointed, but he couldn't bear to tell her the truth.

"I see," she said. "Well, then that's cleared up. Um, well, then I guess we're done here." She smiled weakly at him.

"I'll be your friend in this and help you with whatever you need, okay? I promise," Ross said, reaching for her hand and squeezing it.

"Thanks, Ross," she whispered. He felt bad for lying to her. He wondered if she could see that. Suddenly, his beeper went off.

"Oh my God!" he shouted. "Oh, oh, oh! It's baby time!" He jumped up. Rachel stood up quickly with him.

"Call the number, call the number, call the number!" she chanted, smacking his arm. He leapt over the coffee table and ran for the phone. Rachel stood watching, feeling anxious. This was going to be her in the future. Ross came back looking annoyed.

"What's wrong?" Rachel asked.

"Someone calling for Andre and his services again," he snorted. "Do I look like an Andre to you?"

"Not really," she said, smirking.

"Oh, thanks," Ross replied sarcastically. "Well, I'm gonna get going. You need anything?"

"Nope. Got my magazine," Rachel said, showing him. "Have a good night, Ross." He smiled and waved, leaving her sitting there feeling sad and alone.

 **Chandler & Joey**

"What's with the long face? I got the Joey special tonight," Joey said, holding up the two pizzas. "I taped Baywatch earlier, so we're all set!" He went over to sit in his chair and reached for a beer that was in the ice bucket beside it.

"Just a long day at work," Chandler said. He was bummed about Ethan. He had managed to get a peek at the guy just before Monica let him in, and he couldn't help but notice how flushed and happy Monica looked. Tonight was probably sex night. He really needed to let this crush go. Honestly, it wouldn't work out. Look at what happened to his last roommate! The guy had to leave altogether when he and Monica broke up. Chandler knew he should heed this. She probably didn't feel the same way anyway.

"Dude, come on," Joey said. Chandler reluctantly sat down after grabbing a slice and a beer.

"Hey you guys," Phoebe said coming into the apartment. "Ugh, Baywatch? Really?"

"Hey, we don't mock what you watch," Joey retorted. Then he got thinking. "What do you watch?"

"True crime," Phoebe replied. "I like seeing the criminals get taken down by the cops."

"Ah," Joey said, not getting it. "So, how was your first day?" He figured changing the subject would help the situation.

"It was great! Everyone was super nice," she replied.

"Pays to know the bossman," Chandler bragged, leaning back in his chair with his arms behind his head and a grin on his face.

"I didn't say I knew you," Phoebe explained.

"W-what? Why not?"

"Cos nobody likes you," she said logically.

"Say that again?" Chandler asked, sitting up straight.

"Nobody likes you," she repeated.

"Why?"

"Cos you're the boss," she told him. "Duh."

"That's ridiculous!" Chandler argued.

"They used to like you, if that helps," Phoebe said.

"No! It doesn't! I can't believe this!"

"They even do you," Phoebe went on.

"What does that mean?"

"You know, like, 'Could that coffee BE any worse?'" she mimicked.

"I don't sound like that," Chandler disagreed.

"Yea, yea!" Joey said, getting excited. "'That is so NOT fair.'"

"Shut up!" Chandler shouted. Phoebe and Joey were busting with laughter now. He glowered at them.

"Sorry, man," Joey said after he stopped laughing. "It's true though." Chandler ignored him.

"Well, I'm going to go do something quirky," Phoebe said. They both looked at her, curious. "What? I can't do eight hours of normal without being quirky at the end of the day. It'll seep out at the wrong time." She left them there, both looking at each other confused.

 **The Next Day**

"MON!" they all shouted at the same time. Monica pulled out her earbuds.

"What?" she asked.

"Ethan called," Rachel said.

"That's nice," Monica said, continuing on to her room. Rachel was worried. Monica had seemed to upset that her plan of telling her about the baby went out the window.

"What happened? He turned into a pumpkin at midnight?" Chandler joked.

"You guys break up?" Ross asked her. She paused.

"Things just don't work out," she replied. She hoped that was enough of an answer for them, but she knew her friends better than that.

"Is it cos he needed a hall pass to use the bathroom at school?" Chandler teased.

"Oh ha ha ha you're so hilarious!" Monica said, faking amusement. "Yes, my life is so amusing. Drop it." She slammed her bedroom door behind her. They all looked at each other.

"I wonder what happened?" Ross asked. Rachel knew, but she wasn't going to give them anymore ammunition.

"Well, I'm off," Phoebe said, standing up. "Big party tonight."

"Where?" Chandler demanded.

"At work. Oh! You should come and show them how cool you are," she suggested. He stood up with her.

"You really think so?"

"Worth a try," Phoebe shrugged. "But don't come with me. I don't want them to hate me for bringing Mr. Bossman." She started to leave.

"Wait up!" Joey called. "I gotta go meet Sidney. Thought we could share a cab." Phoebe looked briefly annoyed at this, both Chandler and Rachel noticed.

"I have to go help Carol, so I'll see you guys later," Ross said, leaving as well.

"You think there's something going on with Phoebe?" Rachel asked Chandler casually. He looked at her.

"You see it too?"

"Yea! It's so weird. It's like she's mad at Joey or something," Rachel said, twisting the truth to see if Chandler corrected her.

"I think she likes Joey," Chandler said. _Bingo!_ Rachel thought.

"You think?"

"Yea. It's like every time he mentions a girl or a date she gets all weird and rambley," Chandler said.

"Should we confront her?" Rachel asked.

"Naw. It'd only make her upset. I say we leave it," Chandler added.

"What if they're meant to be together?" Rachel asked. "What if by ignoring it we're ruining their future together?"

"Um, Rach? I think you're taking it too far. It's Joey, remember? He doesn't think long-term. It's probably for the best he doesn't know. We don't need another person leaving the group because they broke up," he said.

"Another person leaving the group?" Rachel asked.

"Whoa! Would you look at the time? I have a party to go to," Chandler said, looking at his watch in fake astonishment. Rachel rolled her eyes and went into her bedroom. Once her door closed, Chandler hovered outside of Monica's. He knocked softly.

"What? Come to make some more jokes?" Monica asked when she opened it.

"No. Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to go to a party with me tonight? To get your mind off Ethan," Chandler added quickly.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yea. Thought it might help you feel better to watch me make an ass out of myself in front of my employees," Chandler said, shrugging.

"That could make me feel better," Monica agreed. "I'll be right out." He did a little victory dance when she closed the door. Tonight wouldn't suck too much after all.

 **The Next Day**

"It's not fair," Chandler said after Phoebe explained he could never be friends with his employees. His eyes followed Monica when she came into the apartment looking indifferent. She had had fun last night, he knew she did, but she had gone right back to sad once it was over.

"Mon? Everything okay?" Rachel asked.

"Yea. Told Ethan why we couldn't be together," Monica said. She gave a shudder suddenly.

"It's for the best," Rachel agreed.

"Hey, you had something to tell me," Monica remembered. Rachel froze. The others were looking at her expectantly.

"It was kind of a you and me thing," Rachel said.

"Oh. Okay, well," Monica said, looking at Phoebe and Chandler. "Get out!" They jumped at her voice.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Out, out, out!" Monica shouted, shooing them. Rachel covered her face to hide her laughter at their expressions.

"That was SO weird," Chandler said in the hallway.

"Tell me about it," Phoebe agreed.

"Coffee?" he asked.

"Sure." They went down to the Perk together.

"Okay. Now you can tell me," Monica said. She sat down and got comfortable.

"Oh, gosh. I don't know if I can..."

"Dammit Rachel! Just tell me!"

"All right, all right!" Rachel said, indignant. "Mon, I'm having a..."

"Baby!" Ross shouted, bursting out of the bathroom door and making them both jump in fright. "I'm having a baby! Oh my God!" Monica leaped to her feet.

"Seriously?!" she asked.

"Kind of stealing my thunder here, Ross," Rachel muttered. Monica didn't hear her. All she heard was "baby" in her mind.

"I gotta...I'm gonna...oh wow," Ross said, collapsing to his knees.

"Ross!" Monica cried, pulling him up. "Focus! You're having a baby! Get moving!" He scrambled to keep his balance and then bolted out the door.

"Oh my God! I'm going to be an aunt," Monica said, starting to cry.

"Yes, that's great," Rachel said. She stood up wearily. She automatically reached for her abdomen, making Monica's eyes widen in shock.

"Y-you? You're...?" she could say it.

"Yea, Mon, I'm having a baby too," Rachel said.

"WHAT?! Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" Monica yelled. "Oh my God! Phoebe was right!"

"I was scared. Look, we have to be there for Ross. We can deal with me later. I'm just barely two months along," Rachel said, waving her hand dismissively. "Wait...what? Phoebe was right?"

"She said something about your doubled aura. I don't know," Monica dismissed. "Once this is over, though, you and I are having a big chat." She ran to grab her things before joining Ross. Rachel felt a little relieved that two of her friends knew about the baby. She felt less alone.

 **So what did y'all think? I look forward to reading your reviews!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's another chapter. I've been on a roll with this story more than my others. Enjoy :)**

Chandler wanted to have a baby with her? Monica was mulling this over while drinking her morning coffee. The whole scenario from the hospital was interesting to her. She wondered why he would even offer that. He had been particularly nice to her since the whole Ethan mess. He had even slow danced with her at his company party! That had made her feel odd inside, and she wasn't sure why. He was Chandler. The Jokester. The Funny Guy. Not Chandler the Nice Guy she could date. Was he? No, she shook her head. He was her friend Chandler across the hall. She was okay with that. She even kind of missed his jokes and digs at her.

"Good morning," Rachel said, coming to join her. There was another story that puzzled Monica. Rachel could barely look after herself after leaving her family and money. How was she going to be a single mom?

"Sleep well?" Monica asked.

"Not really. I keep thinking about Ben and how happy Ross is. Do you think I'll be that happy with my baby?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, sweetie. I'm sure you will be," Monica reassured her.

"But it's Paolo's baby. _Paolo_. Remember him? He was a creep!" Rachel said. "What if my baby becomes a creep like him?"

"It won't. Paolo has no influence over the baby cos he doesn't know," Monica said.

"I hope you're right," Rachel muttered.

"And you're sure it's his? There was no other guy?" Monica asked again.

"Nope. Just him. I'm such an idiot!" Rachel smacked her head.

"To be fair, you thought he was hot at the time until he turned into a creep," Monica said.

"Can we stop talking about him please?" Rachel asked.

"All right. What do you want us to do for your birthday?" Monica changed the subject.

"Argh! I don't want to talk about that either," Rachel said.

"Fine, but don't complain about what we do for you," Monica replied.

"I have pictures!" Ross said, coming inside. Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler were right behind him.

"Did you go door to door shouting this?" Monica asked.

"No. I just ran into them," Ross said.

"Let's see!" Phoebe said excitedly. Everyone huddled around Ross.

"He's so adorable," Rachel said. "I could just kiss him all over!" Ross looked at her longingly. Chandler caught this and made a noise with his mouth.

"What was that for?" Rachel asked, noticing.

"I just had the urge to push all the air out of my mouth at once," Chandler replied quickly. "See? Pffff!" She shook her head. She didn't get Chandler sometimes.

"I have to get to work," Rachel said suddenly. All the pictures were not helping her right now. Ross picked up on this.

"I'll walk you," he said.

"I should get going too," Joey said. "I have to go make some money."

"What are you doing?" Phoebe asked.

"Well...it's embarrassing," Joey said.

"You have to tell us now," Monica pointed out.

"All right. I'm in a fertility study, okay? No jokes!" he said sharply, pointing at Chandler, who had his mouth open to say something witty.

"So you're making money hand over fist then," Phoebe teased. Chandler high fived her. Joey glared at her.

"What does Sidney think about this?" Monica asked.

"She's the one who suggested it," Joey said. "She's donating her eggs too."

"So technically, you guys could be making babies without knowing it," Chandler joked. Joey's eyes bulged.

"Oh my God! I never thought of that!" he yelped.

"I'm sure that's not happening," Monica reassured him.

"I gotta go talk to her!" Joey said, rushing out the door.

"Nice going," Phoebe said to Chandler, smacking him upside the head.

"What did I do?" Chandler asked indignantly, rubbing his head.

"You upset him. Joey, wait!" Phoebe called, running after him. She didn't mention it had upset her too. She didn't want to think about Joey and Sidney having babies.

"Well, since you're the last one here, you're helping me with Rachel's birthday," Monica said.

"Damn it," Chandler groaned.

 **Ross & Rachel**

"You doing okay?" Ross asked as they walked down to the cafe.

"Sort of," Rachel shrugged.

"You thought about what you're going to do when...you know," Ross said.

"I have. I'm thinking I might go back home," Rachel said quietly. Ross felt fear clutch his chest. Rachel leave? He hadn't thought of that.

"Oh," he said.

"Yea. It'd be for the best, you know? I love living here, but I'm going to need a lot of help," Rachel said.

"I...I could help," Ross said. "We'll all help. Rach, you're not alone here."

"I know. I don't want to do that to you guys. This is my mess. I'm not bringing anyone else down with me," Rachel explained. They had arrived at the cafe by now and were standing outside the door.

"I can't change your mind, can I?" Ross asked.

"No. I'm sorry. I appreciate you, but you've got Ben now. I can't expect you to help with both babies."

"I don't mind..."

"It's okay. Anyway, I really have to get to work. I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"Okay," Ross replied. She patted his arm before going inside. He felt like he was going to fall apart. Since Ben was born, he had been rethinking about telling Rachel how he felt. He was kidding himself at thinking it was going to go away just because she was having a baby. If anything, it made him want to take care of her even more, despite the baby being that creepy Italian guy's. That wasn't the baby's fault. He had to stop her from going home. He just didn't know how.

 **Phoebe**

She had tried to catch Joey, but he was fast when he was scared. She was standing in the stairway when Chandler found her.

"Waiting to escort someone?" he asked.

"No. I was just...ah forget it," Phoebe said. "What are you doing?"

"I have to get the stuff on this list or else Monica will kill me," Chandler said. "Wanna help? I'm useless at this stuff."

"Sure." They started walking together.

"So," Chandler started. "How are you, Phoebs? I mean really?"

"I'm doing okay," Phoebe said.

"You sure? Cos we're starting to think you're mad at Joey," Chandler said.

"We?" Phoebe asked.

"Rachel and me," Chandler said.

"Rachel?! Oh, God," Phoebe groaned.

"So you are mad at him?" Chandler prodded.

"No! No, I'm not mad at him," Phoebe answered.

"Oh. Cos you get all worked up when he mentions Sidney. We just thought..."

"Well, you thought wrong!" Phoebe cut in.

"All right," Chandler said, holding his hands up in defense. "Chill."

"I am chill. I'm the chillest person there is," Phoebe muttered. Chandler dropped the subject. His suspicions were confirmed now. He wondered when she started liking Joey that way and if Joey had any idea. He doubted it since Joey's attention span wasn't very big, especially when there was food around.

"When did you start liking Monica?" Phoebe asked suddenly, turning the tables. It was a wild guess, but she needed to get him off her back.

"W-what...how did...who did...no," Chandler finished.

"It's true?!" Phoebe cried. "I was totally just guessing." He gaped at her.

"It's so NOT true," Chandler argued.

"It is! Look at your face!" Phoebe crowed. Chandler rubbed at his face to make it change.

"It's not true, and I don't appreciate how loud you're being right now," Chandler said.

"Okay whatever you say," Phoebe winked at him.

"No, no! No winking! It's not true! Stop it!" Chandler rambled.

"I won't say anything," Phoebe promised.

"And I won't tell Joey you like him either," Chandler spit out. Phoebe gasped.

"How did you know?!"

"Oh please you're so obvious!" Chandler laughed. They had stopped walking and were faced off with each other.

"You so much as breathe a word to him..." Phoebe started.

"You'll tell Monica. I got it," Chandler finished for her. "We've got a deal?" She looked at him hesitantly.

"Yes, we have a deal," Phoebe said, shaking his hand finally. They went on their way to work on Monica's list. Chandler knew Phoebe wouldn't say anything to Monica because he had her secret over her head too. This whole thing could get messy very quickly, and he tried not to think about that.

 **Later**

"I have to go to China," Ross said. He felt as desolate as he looked. He had really wanted to be there when Rachel opened his gift.

"What?" both Monica and Phoebe asked, surprised.

"It's a bone thing," he said. "I have to go convince them to give us..."

"All right, all right," Phoebe said. "Don't bore us with it."

"Anyway, is Rachel here?" Ross asked.

"Not yet. She went to get all dolled up for tonight," Monica explained.

"Oh. Where are the guys?"

"Out there," Monica pointed. They all watched as Joey was showing Chandler how he could drink beer with the bottle a foot above his face. Ross headed to join them after chuckling as Joey splashed his face while gulping like a fish to catch the beer.

"Who would want to date that?" Monica asked, laughing. "Honestly, he's like a little kid."

"Yea. Um, I dunno," Phoebe said. She went back to folding napkins. Monica didn't think anything of it. She was watching Chandler through the window as he made some type of joke to Ross and Joey. She wondered if there was a different reason as to why he was being nice to her. Ross soon came back inside.

"Can you show this to Ben so he doesn't forget me?" he asked Monica, giving her a photo of himself.

"Sure. He won't forget you though. It's only for a week," Monica reassured him.

"You say that, but just in case..." Ross trailed off. "Anyhow, I'll see you later." He gave Monica a kiss on the cheek and waved to Phoebe. Then he was gone.

 **Later Still**

"Ross isn't here?" Rachel asked. She was with Monica and Phoebe as they finished hugging her. Sidney stood off to the side, feeling awkward.

"No. He had to go to China," Monica explained.

"Happy Birthday!" Joey cried, coming inside with Chandler. He slung his arm around Sidney's shoulders. Phoebe had become noticeably grumpier the moment Sidney had arrived.

"Thanks, Joey," Rachel said.

"We're ready to cook," Chandler said, flexing his muscles. "We men. We cook food and drink beer."

"Nope! Presents first," Rachel said, excited. They all sat around her as she opened each one. When she got to Ross's gift, she was speechless.

"He remembered. I don't believe it. This must have been so expensive!" Rachel gushed.

"Like it matters," Chandler scoffed. "Remember when he bought that stupid crystal duck for Carol to show he loved her?" The room became still, making Chandler realize what he had just said. Phoebe was giving him dagger eyes. She didn't think she could trust him now since he so easily let this one slip. Chandler clapped a hand over his mouth, shaking his head.

"What did you say?" Rachel asked.

"Duck?" Chandler tried.

"No, no. Before that."

"Stupid?" Chandler tried again.

"Is Ross in love with me?" Rachel demanded.

"Nnnnn...aahh...humina humina," Chandler rambled. Rachel cornered him in the kitchen as he tried to escape.

"Chandler!" she shouted.

"All right! He's desperately in love with you. Has been for months!" Chandler yelped, cowering at her fist. He avoided looking at Phoebe.

"I have to talk to him," Rachel said, grabbing her purse.

"Wait! If it's to say no, maybe let it wait," Chandler said. Rachel gave him a look and disappeared out the door.

"Damn it," Chandler said, sitting down. Phoebe came up behind him and gripped his elbow tightly, making him squeak.

"Take that as a warning of what I can do," she hissed into his ear. He just nodded.

"Wow," Sidney said. "Going to the airport to profess her love back to him? That's so romantic."

"Would you like me to do that, baby?" Joey asked. Phoebe cringed. He wasn't in love with her, was he?

"I'd like that," Sidney giggled.

"Do you think she'll say it to him?" Monica asked. "What if she doesn't? Oh, this could get awkward!"

"We'll just have to wait until she gets back," Chandler said. "No use in stressing about it."

 **A Week Later**

"You, uh, gonna pick up Ross today?" Monica asked. She had been tiptoeing around the issue all week.

"I don't know, Mon. I mean, I'm having a baby. That hit me after I missed him last week. I took it as a sign that maybe this wasn't meant to be," Rachel explained. "Why would he want to be with me while I raise another man's baby? That's not fair to him."

"Ross wouldn't care," Monica said. "He's great that way."

"Maybe so, but I still can't do that to him," Rachel argued. She hadn't told Monica she was moving back home yet. She had seen how disappointed Ross had been. She wasn't up to having a sad Monica either.

"Look," Monica said, sitting down in front of Rachel. "Ross loves you. He would do anything for you. Just let him do that for you."

"Mon, please stop," Rachel said. Monica bit her tongue to prevent her from speaking further. She didn't want to push the issue. She got up and went over to her stove to finish cooking dinner.

 **Chandler & Joey**

"Got my seven hundred bucks!" Joey exclaimed, showing it to Chandler.

"Ooo good job. Don't go prostituting yourself now," Chandler joked. He watched as Joey thought about it. "Stop that now!" he ordered.

Joey snapped out of it.

"I think Sidney is just as glad. We can have sex again," Joey added. Chandler winced.

"Too much, Joe. Too much," he said.

"You're just jealous," Joey grinned. He went into his room to put away his money. Chandler went back to reflecting on his mistake of telling Rachel about Ross. What if it had been about Phoebe and Joey? He'd be dead that's for sure. Phoebe made that very clear. He vowed to always think before he spoke from now on.

 **Later**

Monica went to the door to stop the knocking. Ross was standing there with another woman. This made her freeze on the spot.

"Hey!" Ross said, giving her a big hug.

"Hi," she replied cautiously.

"This is Julie," Ross said. "Julie, Monica." They shook hands.

"We met in China," Julie said.

"I gathered," Monica replied.

"Is that Ross?" Rachel asked, coming out of her bedroom. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Julie. "Oh."

"Julie, Rachel," Ross said, introducing them. "We met in China."

"Oh," Rachel said again. She shot Monica an I-told-you-so look.

"Come in," Monica laughed nervously. "Tea? Coffee? Scones?" She was rambling now. She felt embarrassed for Rachel more than anything.

"No thanks. I'm still on China time," Julie joked.

"I think I'm gonna go out," Rachel said.

"So soon?" Ross asked.

"Yea. I need some air," Rachel replied, moving past him. She ignored his face. She was too busy trying not to cry. She was going to talk to him when he got home, but she saw now that he had moved on. She had been right. Why would he ever had held on to be with her? It was never going to happen. Rachel knew she needed to leave sooner than later. It was for the best.

 **Please leave a review! I know you're reading it ;) I love hearing your thoughts!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you simplymondler for being my loyal reviewer! I hope this chapter doesn't depress you too much.**

"No you hang up," Ross was saying, a stupid grin on his face. Rachel was watching him, feeling ready to explode. "No, you. You. You. Y-" Rachel grabbed the phone from him and hung it up. He stared at her, shocked.

"Sorry, thought you were talking to me," Rachel said grumpily. Ross took the phone from her and called Julie back. Monica took his seat when he left to go into the other room.

"Rach?"

"Whyyy is this happening to me?" she asked. "Thanks to Chandler, he's the guy I want the most and can't have. I can't stand this anymore."

"I thought you didn't want to involve him with the...you know," Monica said. Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe still didn't know Rachel was pregnant. She knew she'd have to tell them eventually. You can't hide a baby forever.

"I didn't. I don't. Yet, I do," Rachel said. "I'm not making any sense to myself at all."

"Baby brain," Monica said, nodding seriously.

"Uggghh! Then this stupid Julie had to come right at this moment in time? I hate her," Rachel growled. Ross re-entered making kissy sounds on the phone.

"Oh boy," Monica sighed.

"I gotta go. Don't wait up for me," Rachel said, rushing out. She passed Chandler and Joey, who were discussing tailors and pants, or so it sounded like. She wasn't really listening. All she could see and hear was Ross being lovesick with Julie. It was enough to drive her mad.

 **The Next Day**

"Please, please, please will you just cut a bit off the back?" Monica was begging Phoebe.

"Nuh uh. You get all controll-y and weird. I'm not doing it," Phoebe said, crossing her arms.

"She's right," Joey said. "You do get anal about stuff."

"I am not anal!" Monica snapped, readjusting the coaster on the table.

"Said the anal woman," Chandler sniggered. She chucked the coaster at him, making him duck.

"Um, can you guys just close your eyes for a minute?" Rachel asked, her head sticking out of her room.

"Why? You got a man in there?" Joey asked, teasing.

"Bon giorno!" Paolo said, popping out behind Rachel, who had squeezed her eyes tightly shut, embarrassed.

"Oh no!" Phoebe cried, jumping up and hiding behind Joey. She remembered the last time she saw him. It hadn't been pleasant.

"Whoa!" Joey said. "Rachel!"

"I know, I know, I know," Rachel said. "So, so stupid. But I was really upset...it doesn't matter. Paolo, get dressed." She gestured to him and he obeyed.

"How did this happen?" Monica asked.

"I kind of...sort of...ran into him last night," Rachel said.

"Where?"

"At his apartment. Look, I already said I was stupid! Can we leave it at that?" she asked.

"Hey guys!" Ross said coming in with Julie. Rachel groaned. This was just getting better and better.

"Hey, Ross!" Paolo called, coming over and clapping his shoulder, grinning.

"Oh, you," Ross said, looking at Rachel quickly. "You're back."

"I do her," Paolo said, grinning still.

"He's back?" Ross asked Rachel.

"Yup. Problem?"

"Nope."

"Good."

"Bye, bye," Paolo said, kissing her goodbye. Phoebe deliberately moved out of his way when he passed. Joey made a menacing face at him. He knew how upset Phoebe had been about the whole ass touching incident.

"Well, I've got pants to be altered," Chandler said, getting up. He didn't want to hang around for the rest of this show. It was his fault Rachel was feeling this way to begin with, and that really bothered him. He had no idea how to fix it.

 **Later**

"So you're not with Paolo?" Ross asked, confirming. They were out on the balcony to escape Chandler's ranting to Joey about his disgusting tailor.

"No. He was rude to Phoebe. I was just...lonely," Rachel said.

"You didn't tell him about the baby?"

"No! God, no. Never," Rachel winced. "I'm really pathetic."

"You're not pathetic. Any man would be incredibly lucky to have you," Ross said, making Rachel lean in, interested.

"Yea?"

"Yea. I mean, you deserve a guy who worships you and wakes up every day ecstatic that you're his girlfriend, you know? Like I am with Julie," he finished. Rachel leaned back out. She should have known that was where he was going with that.

"Right," she said, nodding.

"And remember, just because you're having this baby, it doesn't mean you'll never find love," Ross told her.

"Of course," Rachel said, getting teary. He hugged her tightly.

"Are you still moving back home?" he asked.

"I think so," she said, pulling back and wiping away her tears. He just nodded, unsure of what else to say. He watched her go back inside, feeling like he'd made a mistake somehow, but he wasn't sure what.

 **A Week Later**

"This Hombre guy is starting to piss me off," Joey was saying. They were all at Central Perk hanging out on a rainy Saturday except for Monica.

"Why? Is he speaking another language?" Chandler asked, joking.

"No! He somehow manages to get the men to try the cologne he's selling. Everyone else runs away when I try," Joey said, thinking hard. "I think it's the cowboy outfit."

"No, I think it's his approach," Ross cut in.

"With the cowboy outfit," Joey said again. Ross rolled his eyes.

"You should try it," Phoebe said, imagining him in a cowboy outfit. It would look so hot on him she knew.

"Yea, I think I will," Joey agreed, smiling at her.

"I'll help you pick one out!" Phoebe said, excited.

"Ok!" Joey said, getting excited as well. They got up to leave together. Phoebe caught Chandler's face and shrugged at him. Chandler was still confused as to why she even liked Joey, but he reasoned that with the two of them missing half of their brains at times, they would make each other complete somehow.

"I've got to go pick up Ben," Ross said. "I hope Monica and Julie had fun shopping."

"Du-ude," Chandler said, gesturing to Rachel.

"Why would she care?" Ross asked.

"You're right. She wouldn't," Chandler corrected himself. "I just like saying du-ude." He remembered that Ross didn't know how Rachel felt about him now. He had almost let that out of the bag, again. Ross gave him a funny look before leaving.

"Hey, Chandler," Monica said. "We were shopping all day, okay?" She tossed some bags onto his lap.

"O-okay," he said just as Rachel came over.

"Hey! You went shopping," Rachel said, excited.

"I sure did!" Monica replied happily.

"And you went with...Chandler," Rachel said, noticing the bag on his lap.

"Uh huh," Chandler said. "We had lunch too. I had a salad. I'm so full." He clutched his stomach to show her.

"What did you buy?" Rachel asked. Chandler froze, as did Monica. He had no idea what was in the bag. He reached in, feeling something silky.

"Um," he said, pulling it out. It was lingerie.

"Wow, Chandler," Rachel said, looking at it. "That'll make you look so pretty."

"It's for his girlfriend," Monica said quickly before Chandler could reply. "He is giving it to her as a present."

"Yes, yes! My girlfriend," Chandler said, shoving it back into the bag. He was feeling flushed knowing that it was for Monica. He had actually touched Monica's lingerie. His fingers were even burning.

"I didn't know you were dating," Rachel said casually. "What's her name?"

"Her name? Her name," Chandler stuttered. "Her name is...Mon...dula."

"Mondula?" Rachel asked. "Interesting. Is she foreign?"

"You could say that," Chandler nodded.

"Ok cut the crap!" Rachel snapped. Chandler and Monica both flinched openly. "Mon? Who did you go shopping with?"

"Ju...ew," Monica said.

"Jew?"

"Yea. She likes being called by her religious description," Monica said, wincing. "Reaffirms her faith."

"I see," Rachel mused. She wasn't buying it. "Mon?"

"Okay, okay, okay!" Monica cried. "I went with Julie." Chandler leaped up and ran out of the coffee house before Rachel could start throwing things.

"You what?" Rachel asked, not hearing correctly.

"I went with Julie. I'm so sorry. Ross made me do it!" Monica told her.

"You went shopping with...Julie. Oh. My God," Rachel said, sinking into the couch.

"It was one time. It didn't mean anything. I thought about you the entire time!" Monica cried, sitting beside her.

"Get out," Rachel said.

"What?"

"Out! I can't even look at you right now!"

"All right. I'm going," Monica said, grabbing her bags. She hustled out the door only to see Chandler standing there. "What are you doing?"

"That bad huh?" Chandler asked. He started walking beside her.

"Oh yea. I think I just got banished from the Perk," Monica said, stunned.

"I'll bring you some coffee when you're pressing your face against the glass outside," Chandler promised. They reached her apartment, and she let him in. Ross was already there.

"What are you doing here?" Monica asked.

"Hanging out with my son," Ross replied. "Thought you might want to hang with him too."

"Sure!" Monica said, shoving her bags into Chandler's chest, making him gasp for air. She ran over to little Ben.

"I'll just put these away," Chandler said, taking the bags to her room.

"Thanks!"

"So, you had fun?" Ross asked her.

"It was okay," Monica replied. She busied herself with Ben so Ross wouldn't ask anymore questions.

"I'm just gonna go now," Chandler said as he passed. He was worried Ross might pick up on something between him and Monica if he stayed.

"See you," Ross said absently.

"Chandler? Wait," Monica said, getting up and following him out the door. "Thanks for trying back there."

"I did my best," Chandler replied.

"Well, it was pretty good," she said, kissing his cheek. "I'll see you later." Chandler stood there as she went back inside. He could still feel her lips on his cheek.

"I will never wash this side of my face again," he said to himself, going into his apartment.

 **Phoebe & Joey**

"It looks perfect!" Phoebe said. Joey was modeling his white cowboy outfit for her.

"You think so? It's not too...white?" he asked.

"Not at all. Makes you the good guy. You said Hombre was in black, right?"

"Yea."

"Then you're the better one out of the two," Phoebe nodded.

"Thanks, Phoebs," Joey grinned at her. They headed towards the cash area. Joey had left the outfit on, making the cashier have to yank him down into an awkward position in order to scan it. They left with Joey rubbing his neck.

"It's gonna be great," Joey said. "Annabelle will love it."

"Annabelle?" Phoebe asked. "Wait, I thought you were with Sidney?"

"I was. It didn't work out," Joey said. Phoebe stared at him.

"But I thought she was perfect. She liked everything you liked," Phoebe said.

"Yea, well, it didn't work out," Joey repeated. "Drop it okay?"

"Did she cheat on you?" Phoebe pressed. "Cos I'll kick her tiny white ass!"

"No," Joey said, looking scared.

"Joey!"

"All right. I may have seen her with another man before breaking up with her," Joey admitted.

"Oh my God! Joey! Why didn't you say anything?" Phoebe asked. _Why didn't you tell me so I could have had a chance?!_

"It was stupid," Joey muttered.

"Trusting your girlfriend was not stupid," Phoebe corrected. "You're supposed to do that."

"I have a hard time with that," Joey told her. "If you haven't noticed, I don't stay with the same woman for very long."

"Why is that?" Phoebe asked. "Because you can't trust them?"

"In a way. I just...I got hurt real bad in high school, and since then, I just can't be with the same woman forever. It's not possible. They always leave," Joey said, hanging his head. "So I'm the one who leaves first before they can hurt me. I thought Sidney was different and even let my guard down, but she just proved all women are the same."

"Aww Joey," Phoebe said, putting her arm around him. It felt like a sucker punch to the gut. Even if she did tell him how she felt, he wouldn't stay with her. He wouldn't trust her. It would cause chaos within the group.

"Please just drop it?" Joey asked. "And don't kick her ass. That's embarrassing on my part."

"I won't," Phoebe promised. She was feeling her heart break. There was no way she could tell him now. It really disappointed her.

 **Monica & Rachel**

Rachel couldn't even look at Monica when she came home from work that day. Monica tried everything to make her talk before getting angry.

"Look," she said as Rachel ignored her. "She's my brother's girlfriend. What am I supposed to do? Give her the cold shoulder? I can't! Ross is my brother, and I care about him. Yes, you missed your chance, but I can't hate him like you do because of that. He's..."

"You're brother. I get it," Rachel finished for her. "I'm just mad because Julie took him away and now she's taking you away."

"Rach! She'll never take me away from you! Julie is just Julie. You're Rachel," Monica smiled at her.

"Aww," Rachel said, crying. They hugged. Phoebe came in just then.

"Oh," she said, joining the hug. "I know I'm not a part of this, but I really need it too." She was still sad about Joey.

"We love you too, Phoebs," Rachel said, sniffing.

 **Across the hall**

"Well, howdy," Chandler said as Joey entered in his cowboy outfit.

"Hit me," Joey said, sitting across from him at the counter. Chandler slid over a glass of milk.

"Why so glum, chum?" Chandler asked.

"Just bummed," Joey replied. He slid the glass back over to him for a refill. Chandler obliged before sliding it back.

"Hombre guy again?" Chandler asked.

"Yea," Joey lied. It was better than the truth. "I was the best! Now he's the best. Maybe I should serve cheese."

"And what happens when someone else comes along and serves cheese better, huh? Where you gonna go then?" Chandler prompted.

"You're right. I should stick my ground," Joey answered, feeling better.

"Damn right you should! Show that Hombre that you're the best cologne sprayer in the history of cologne sprayers," Chandler said. Cologne sprayers? He winced. Sometimes he wished his mouth would just stop talking. Joey laughed.

"Thanks, man," he said, heading to his room.

"My pleasure," Chandler muttered. He thought about Monica again. Maybe he should just go for it. Why did he keep thinking he wasn't good enough for her? Why did he keep letting the thought of them breaking up stop him from trying? He headed to the door, full of purpose. He was gonna do it. He was pumped.

"Phoebs?" he asked, seeing her in the hallway, crying. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she lied through her tears. Chandler felt his heart sink. This was not the time to profess his feelings to Monica. What if he made her cry like this? He couldn't live with himself if that happened. He was terrible at relationships, and he knew when she needed him to be committed in the future, he'd run. Commitment wasn't his thing.

"Obviously not nothing," Chandler said, sitting down beside her. He felt defeated.

"Joey will never stay with me even if we did get together," she cried. "He pretty much told me that without telling me."

"Oh. Phoebs, I'm so sorry," he said, putting his arm around her. He wondered if that was the real reason Joey was bummed.

"I should just give it up already," she sniffled.

"You think so? What if you guys are truly meant to be?" Chandler asked her. She shook her head.

"He'll never trust me. Thanks to some bitch in high school. Wish I could kick her ass," she growled.

"I think I'm getting too much insight into Joey's personal life for my liking," Chandler commented. "But still, if you think it'll never work, then I don't know what else to say."

"I should never have been so stupid in the first place," Phoebe said, wiping her eyes.

"You and me both," Chandler muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"I think I should let the dream of Monica die too. I'm an asshole. She deserves much better than a guy like me who can't commit. She needs someone who can commit. It'll never be me," he sighed.

"You don't know that," Phoebe argued.

"Well, for now, I think it's for the best," Chandler told her. "Come on, let's go get some ice cream or something." He pulled her up and they walked down the stairs together. Two sad people who realized their dreams probably won't come true.

 **Now it's your turn! Please leave me a review. I'm feeling like the interest is being lost in this story, which is making me feel like I should just give up on it.**


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter will be sad, so please ensure you're prepared for it. The whole focus on everyone's crush scenarios will be postponed until the next chapter.**

The past few weeks had been hectic. Mr. Heckles had died leaving Chandler feeling like he was going to end up with the same fate of dying alone. He had even reached out to Janice for crying out loud, not that it went anywhere. She was married and pregnant. Joey had ended things with Annabelle pretty quickly. Phoebe was still miserable. Rachel was still angry about the whole Julie thing, and Monica was doing her best to cheer Rachel up. Ross was in seventh heaven, and soon he was going to sleep with Julie. He was just incredibly nervous.

"He asks me for advice," Rachel complained to Monica. "Me! Seriously, what was I supposed to say?"

"Well, advising him to wait was silly," Monica said. "You know that's not happening."

"Ohhh I just hate this," Rachel groaned. She fell backwards on the couch, covering her face with her hands.

"So when are you telling the others about the baby?" Monica asked. "It's...uh...going to get noticeable."

"Soon," Rachel muttered. "I can't believe this is happening to me." Knocking sounded at the door.

"The baby? Or Ross sleeping with his girlfriend?" Monica asked, getting up to answer the door.

"Both."

"Hi," the man at the door said. "Is Phoebe here?"

"Duncan?" Monica asked. "Wow. I haven't seen you in six years."

"I know," he said nervously.

"She doesn't live here anymore," Monica said, taking in the flowers in his hand.

"Well, can you tell her I want to see her?" Duncan asked.

"Sure," Monica agreed. When he was gone, Rachel popped her head up from the couch.

"Who was that?"

"Duncan. An old friend of Phoebe's," Monica said.

"He's cute," Rachel noted.

"Uh huh," Monica nodded. She felt there was something up. Twenty minutes later, everyone was in the apartment and gaping at Phoebe.

"You're actually married?" Joey asked her.

"I can't believe you did that," Monica said, shaking her head.

"And that's why I didn't tell you," Phoebe replied. "He needed a green card. He was my friend. You do the math."

"Getting married to help get someone a green card is not a reason to get married," Ross argued.

"Whatever. At least I knew he was gay when I married him," Phoebe shot at him. Ross bit his tongue to stop answering.

"So what are you going to do?" Rachel asked.

"I'm going to talk to him," Phoebe decided.

"What if he wants to...you know...start things up again?" Chandler asked her. He knew she wasn't quite over Joey yet.

"Then we'll see where it goes," Phoebe told him.

"Don't get your hopes up, sweetie," Monica said. "You were so upset last time."

"I wasn't," Phoebe argued.

"She ate a cheeseburger," Monica told the others, who stared at Phoebe.

"Okay, so I was a little upset. It was no big deal! It's like you leaving your underpants on the terrace after having sex with Fun Bobby. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to talk to my husband. Geez, why is that so unheard of?" Phoebe asked, stalking out of the apartment. The others ran to the window to look for Monica's drawers.

"Wow," Joey said, craning his neck to see Monica's free flying drawers. "The things you don't know about your friends." Chandler bit his fist to prevent words from coming out.

"How did she...?" Monica paused, figuring it out. "Chandler!"

"If it was a secret, why did you tell me?" Chandler demanded.

"Chandler has a third nipple!" Monica shouted, giving him the "ha ha" look.

"You witch," Chandler said as everyone moved towards him.

"Let me see, let me see!" Ross called, excited.

"Whip it out!" Joey egged him on.

"Yea, come on, Chandler," Rachel begged.

"Joey was in a porno movie!" Chandler yelled. They all turned to Joey, who glared at Chandler. "That's right. If I'm going down, you're all coming with me."

"Really, Joey?" Monica asked.

"Hey, I needed the money. I wanted to copy stuff, but there were people having sex on the machine. No big deal," Joey shrugged.

"So is it in the middle of the other two?" Ross asked Chandler, going back to his third nipple.

"Oh my God! I am SO out of here," Chandler yelped, fleeing.

 **Later**

Rachel was staring at Ross longingly. They were all at his apartment hanging out. Phoebe hadn't joined them. She was avoiding everyone after being rejected by Duncan again. She didn't feel like being told so by Monica.

"You're just going to have to accept he's with her now," Monica said to Rachel quietly as Julie fawned over Ross.

"I know. It just sucks," Rachel sighed.

"Oh, hey," Chandler said suddenly. "W-what's this? Why, it's Joey's porno movie!"

"Stick it in!" Ross called, making everyone laugh at the pun.

"I don't think I can watch this," Rachel said, turning away. She focused instead on Ross's kitchen.

"There I am, there I am, there I am," Joey kept saying. It made her want to throw up. Everything made her want to throw up. It was like she was pregnant or something. Then she had an idea.

"Hey, guys," she said. "I have some news."

"Rachel, are you sure you wanna do this here?" Monica asked, sensing where Rachel was going.

"Yup."

"What's the news?" Joey asked.

"I'm having a baby," Rachel said, smiling and rubbing her stomach.

"What?!" Joey and Chandler yelped. Monica sighed. Ross looked uncertain of what to do. Julie was amused.

"Hey, wait a minute," Joey said, catching on. "You guys knew?"

"I did," Ross nodded.

"And me," Monica sighed.

"I could tell the moment I met her," Julie smiled. "You had a glow." Rachel wanted to bare her teeth and charge at this woman. She was making her news unimportant.

"When? How? Who? Wait, forget the how," Joey said, figuring it out.

"It doesn't matter," Rachel said. "All that matters is I'm bringing a baby into the world."

"How far along?" Chandler asked.

"Just over three months," Rachel said.

"And you're telling us now?" Chandler demanded.

"Well, yea. You were gonna find out anyway," Rachel scoffed.

"Still..."

"You know what? I have to go," Rachel said, getting up. Everyone looked at her warily. "What?"

"You okay?" Monica asked.

"Yea. I'm just tired of all the heat from you guys about me not telling my secret sooner. Excuse me," Rachel said, leaving. She felt embarrassed. Monica had been right. That was a dumb way to tell everyone. She went home and crawled into bed. She hated everything right now. She was lying there trying not to cry when the first wave of pain hit her.

"Ohhh. What's happening?" she cried. She clutched her abdomen. Another wave of pain. This couldn't be good. Nobody was there to help her either. She ran to the phone.

"You were right," Phoebe said, coming into the apartment suddenly. "He moved on. God, I'm such an idi...Rachel?" She noticed Rachel standing there panting and wincing in pain.

"Thank God, Phoebs. I need your help," Rachel said. Phoebe rushed over to her.

"What's happening?"

"I don't know. I'm in a lot of pain. This shouldn't be happening at three months pregnancy, right?"

"So you are pregnant!" Phoebe exclaimed, triumphant.

"So not the time!" Rachel cried, gasping as more pain hit her.

"Okay, let's go. I have my grandmother's cab," Phoebe said. She looped Rachel's arm around her shoulder and helped her down to the cab. Rachel was feeling afraid now. What was happening to her?

 **Monica**

"You think she's really mad at me?" Chandler asked. He was sitting in the kitchen at Monica's apartment.

"I don't think so. I think she was more mad at Julie for knowing without her telling it," Monica replied.

"Where is Rachel anyway? I thought she came home?" Chandler mused.

"No idea. Probably went to the cafe or something," Monica shrugged. Her phone rang, making her go answer it. Chandler watched her. He grew worried when her face changed.

"What's wrong?" he asked once she had hung up.

"Rachel's in the hospital," Monica said, grabbing her coat and purse.

"I'm coming," Chandler said, following. They raced down the stairs and hailed a cab. Once at the hospital, Monica charged through the halls looking for her friend.

"In here," Phoebe said, seeing them dash by. They doubled back and entered the room. Rachel was lying there pale and upset. Phoebe was chewing her nails.

"What happened?" Monica asked. "Rachel?"

"It's gone," Rachel whispered. A hush went over the room.

"What do you mean?" Monica asked.

"She means the baby is gone," Phoebe answered for Rachel. "She miscarried."

"Oh," Monica said, sinking down into the chair beside Rachel. "Sweetie, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. It's fine. I didn't really want to do it anyway," Rachel cried. Chandler stood there feeling awkward.

"Bet you wish you hadn't told us tonight, huh?" Chandler asked. Phoebe and Monica glared at him.

"I know where I'm not wanted," he said, leaving. He stood out in the hall, leaning against the wall. He really didn't know what possessed him to say stupid shit. He went to the gift shop to buy something to show he was sorry.

"Everything will be okay," Monica said to Rachel. "You'll come home. We'll talk. We'll..."

"Just stop, okay?" Rachel cut her off. "I lost my baby. My baby, Monica. That is not okay."

"I realize that," Monica said quietly. "I just haven't experienced this before. I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything," Rachel snapped.

"Okay," Monica agreed.

"Do you want us to stay or go?" Phoebe asked.

"I need to be alone right now," Rachel said.

"So go," Phoebe said. "Okay, come on, Mon." They stood to leave. Rachel didn't look at either of them. They went out to the hall and ran into Joey and Ross.

"I got your call," Ross said, out of breath. "What happened?" Monica explained it to them.

"Poor Rachel," Joey said sadly.

"I think we should give her some space," Monica said. Everyone followed her except Ross. "Ross?"

"In a minute," he said. He waited for them to leave before going inside.

"Monica, I said leave me alo..." Rachel stopped when she saw it was Ross.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi."

"I'm so sorry," he told her, reaching for her hand.

"It's fine. Go back to Julie. I will not be the reason for your night going wrong," Rachel said, pulling her hand away.

"I'm staying," Ross said. He didn't have the heart to say their night had already went well. He figured that would make things worse.

"Just go, Ross. Please," Rachel added. She didn't want to see him. She didn't want to talk to him. She wanted to be alone. When she looked up, he was gone, and that somehow made her sadder.

 **In the waiting room**

"What are we gonna do?" Phoebe asked. They were all sitting there quiet and disheartened.

"I don't know," Monica admitted. Ross was looking the most desolate of all of them.

"How did this happen?" Chandler asked.

"It sometimes happens during the first three months of a pregnancy," Ross explained.

"But she was doing everything right, right?" Joey asked.

"Yes. That doesn't matter, Joey. Sometimes it just happens anyway no matter what we're doing," Ross sighed. He could only imagine the pain Rachel must be experiencing right now.

"She really doesn't need this on top of everything," Chandler muttered.

"What do you mean?" Ross asked. Phoebe shot Chandler a look.

"Well...um...you know...with work," Chandler stammered.

"What's going on at work?" Ross asked.

"Just a lot of pressure," Chandler said, pulling at his collar nervously.

"Yea," Monica chimed in. "They want her to work more hours and train new people and...you know...stuff." Ross looked like he didn't believe either of them, but he didn't feel like pursuing it in this moment.

"It was Paolo's for sure?" Joey asked, still getting his head around it.

"Yes," Monica confirmed. Phoebe flinched openly. Paolo still creeped her out, and thinking of a baby Paolo somehow was creepier.

"She was moving back home," Ross said quietly.

"What?" they all asked at the same time.

"Yea. To have the baby. She didn't want to burden us," Ross added.

"Do you think she'll still go home?" Phoebe asked. She didn't want Rachel to leave. She liked the equal ratio of men to women in their group. She also was fun.

"I don't know," Ross admitted. "She wouldn't talk to me." His phone rang.

"Julie?" Monica asked when he looked at it. He nodded.

"I'll be back," he said, answering it and walking away.

"This whole this is just...miserable," Chandler said. He too was still having a hard time with the whole thing. He had only just found out Rachel was even pregnant.

"I know," Monica said, resting her head onto his shoulder. Chandler stiffened. Any close contact from her was too much, especially when he was trying not to think about her. He wanted this whole thing to pass for Rachel's sake. She deserved to be happy.

 **Two Weeks Later**

Rachel had been in a depression for the past two weeks since she had returned home from the hospital. The others were unsure of what to do or say to make her feel better. Chandler attempted to be funny, but that always fell flat. Phoebe tried to write and sing a song for her about showering, but that only won her blank stares. Ross brought Ben over as little as he could because he thought it would make Rachel sadder, and this was annoying Monica. She wanted to hang out with her nephew, but at the same time she understood where Ross was coming from. Then one day, Ross did bring Ben over. Rachel had gotten up and went to her room, making them all look at each other cautiously. Phoebe had already left to sing her gig at Central Perk.

"Maybe you shouldn't have brought him," Monica said. She was attempting to hold him, but he wouldn't stop crying. Chandler took him off of her, and he stopped. She stared at him.

"What?" he asked.

"How come he's not crying?" she asked.

"I dunno. He likes me?"

"Huh," Monica said. Ross was digging into her pie with ferocious stabs. He didn't know how to help Rachel anymore than the others did, and that bothered him.

"Why 'huh?'" Chandler asked.

"It just seems odd. I'm his aunt. He should like me too," she went on. Chandler leaned over to him with Ben, and Ben started squalling immediately until he pulled back.

"Ha ha," Joey said, pointing. "Ben doesn't like you."

"Shut up!" Monica snapped. Ross was sitting there feeling funny. He made a few choking noises.

"What's with you?" Chandler asked, noticing.

"I...I dunno," Ross said, pulling at his collar to get more air. It wasn't working. He choked some more.

"Wait," Monica said. "You're not allergic to kiwi are you?" Ross looked at her sharply.

"Uh huh," he managed to say. "You twying to keel me?"

"No! Oh God," Monica said. "Come on, we have to get you to the hospital."

"It's phyne," Ross garbled.

"Let's go," Monica ordered.

"But Ben..."

"We got it," Joey said. Chandler nodded. Ross looked at them both skeptically. "Hey, I have seven sisters. I think I know what I'm doing."

"Just put hish hat on outshyde," Ross slurred. They both nodded. "And the tho tho...the tho tho!"

"Got it," Joey said. "Now get out of here."

"You understood that?" Chandler asked.

"Yea. My uncle had a big tongue," Joey shrugged.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked, coming out after hearing the commotion. She looked warily at Ben.

"Ross got all swelled up like a balloon from Monica's pie," Joey explained. "They went to the hospital."

"Oh. Okay," she said, turning to go back inside.

"Hey, Rach!" Chandler called, making her stop. "You wanna hold him?"

"Does it look like I want to do that?" she asked coldly.

"Look, we know you went through hell," Joey said. "But you can't avoid babies forever. It sucks that you lost yours, yea, but don't do this to Ross...or Monica. It's his son and her nephew. They're gonna visit. You're gonna see him. You have to stop letting it get to you."

"Easy for you to say!" Rachel snapped. "Did you grow a little person for three months, make so many plans for it, then lose it?"

"Well, no..." Joey started.

"Then talk to me when that happens to you and maybe I'll move on," she snarled. She marched to her room and slammed the door behind her.

"Nice going, Joe," Chandler muttered. He bounced Ben in his arms as the infant had become fussy at Rachel's outburst.

"Let's take him for a walk," Joey suggested. He wanted out of the apartment as well. They loaded up Ben's stroller and headed out. After all, what could happen?

 **Central Perk**

Phoebe was setting up when the manager came over and told her she was being replaced. She stood there, stunned. What was happening in the world? When she saw her replacement and heard the woman sing, she cringed inside. No wonder he wanted her out. She clutched her guitar to her side and went out the door. Then she stopped. Why should she give up on herself just because of that asshole? She decided to play for the street since that was her home at one point and never let her down. She strummed her guitar and sang at the top of her lungs. People gave her some strange looks, but she ignored them. They just didn't know talent when they saw it.

 **Later**

"You lost Ben?" Rachel asked. If it wasn't so serious, she wanted to laugh. Why would Ross leave his baby with these knuckleheads?

"We would have had him if there hadn't been like six other buses," Joey muttered.

"What do we do?" Chandler demanded. "Rach, what do we do?!"

"Calm down," Rachel said. "Just call the bus company and ask if they found a baby."

"That's brilliant," Chandler said. He dialed. "Hello. Hypothetical question. What happens if a baby is left on one of your buses? Uh huh. Uh huh. Yes, I know it would be very stupid..."

"Give it to me," Rachel said, grabbing it. "Hello, yes. My two idiot friends left a baby on your bus. What happens next? Okay. They'll be there shortly." She hung up.

"Well?" Joey asked.

"Get down there and go get him," she ordered. They both took off at full speed. She sat down, shaking her head. Those two were real characters.

 **Ross & Monica**

"I'm sorry I hurt your hand," Ross said. Monica was sitting beside him in the cab wincing at the pain every time she moved it.

"It's okay. I'm glad you're better," she smiled.

"How's Rachel?" Ross asked her.

"I don't know. I barely see her. I've tried talking to her, but she doesn't want to," Monica sighed. "I don't know what else to do."

"Julie said she should go to therapy," Ross said.

"Maybe she should, but don't tell Rachel Julie said that," Monica advised.

"Why not?"

"Rachel hates Julie," Monica said.

"Right," Ross nodded. "Point taken." They stopped outside of Central Perk. Phoebe was screeching at her lungs about Terry being a jerk and not letting her work.

"What's going on?" Monica asked her. Phoebe pointed inside to Stephanie, the woman who had replaced her. Ross and Monica went inside and were greeted by Stephanie's beautiful voice and lyrics.

"Wow," Ross said. "She's really good."

"Ross!" Monica said, thumping his chest with her good hand. She pointed to Phoebe outside, who looked depressed.

"Right," he said. "I've heard better." They ordered a coffee and went back out to be with Phoebe. It was the least they could do for her.

 **Rachel**

She answered the phone reluctantly. If it was her mother again, she couldn't take it. Instead, it was Chandler.

"You gotta help us!" he begged. "We have no idea which one is Ben!"

"How can you not know?" Rachel demanded.

"Come down here and see for yourself," Chandler insisted. Rachel groaned. The last thing she felt like doing was being around Ben much less another baby. She went anyway since Chandler was almost in tears.

"How can you not...oh," Rachel said, arriving and stopping in front of the babies. "Ohhhh."

"Yea. Do you see our problem?" Joey asked. Both babies smiled up at them.

"Ross is gonna kill you," Rachel said, turning to leave.

"Hey, hey, whoa, whoa!" Chandler yelped, grabbing her elbow. "You can't leave. You have to help us."

"I am not picking the wrong baby," Rachel told him.

"We don't want to either!" Joey yelped.

"Okay," Rachel said. "Okay, okay, okay." She stood over them. They looked identical. "You sure he didn't have twins?"

"Definitely not," Chandler said.

"Let's just flip for it," Joey suggested. Rachel and Chandler stared at him. "What? You have a better idea?"

"All right," Chandler said, pulling out a coin.

"Heads!" Joey shouted.

"Heads it is," Chandler said.

"Yes!" Joey exclaimed.

"You didn't assign heads to anything," Rachel said.

"Oh, right...um...let's say ducks because ducks have heads," Joey reasoned.

"I got this one," Chandler said to Rachel. "What kind of scary ass clowns came to your birthday?"

"Oh," Joey said, chuckling. "Right. Damn it! What are we gonna do?"

"I think this is him," Rachel said, gazing at the one baby. "He's got his father's eyes."

"Oookay then let's go home," Chandler said, picking up Ben.

 **Monica's Apartment**

They were so relieved when Ben started screaming in Monica's arms. That meant they had the right baby. Chandler secretly high fived Joey. Ross took Ben to change him.

"Um, guys?" Ross asked, looking at Ben's diaper. "Why does it say Property of Human Services on my son's butt?" Chandler, Joey, and Rachel all froze. Ross turned to them, looking menacing.

"Run, Joey, run!" Chandler shouted, picking up the kiwi pie and holding it in front of him as a shield while backing out the door. Joey stumbled out before him.

"I knew I shouldn't have left him with them!" Ross said angrily.

"Oh, relax," Monica said. "He's fine!"

"Yea, Ross," Rachel said. "He's fine. See?" She picked him up. He was all snugly and warm. A piece of her wanted to cry desperately because she had lost her snugly baby, but a piece of her felt happy holding him. Ross looked at her. He wanted to snap a remark back, but he was just grateful she was even touching Ben. Monica made an excited face behind Rachel's back at him. This was progress.

"He's beautiful, Ross," Rachel said, handing him back. She moved past him, tears burning. Monica followed her to her room.

"Sweetie? You okay?" she asked. Rachel shook her head.

"How am I ever going to get over it?" Rachel asked, crying.

"You're not," Monica said. "It's going to sting and burn for a long time, but you're strong, and you'll work through it. You'll never get over it."

"I just want it to not hurt as bad," Rachel moaned.

"One day it won't. I can't tell you when that'll happen," Monica said, smoothing Rachel's hair. "Don't shut us out, Rachel. We're here for you and want to help."

"I know," Rachel sniffed. "I don't deserve you guys. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. We know you're hurting. Just...let us in, okay?" Monica suggested.

"Okay," Rachel smiled weakly. Monica hugged her tightly.

"Now come on," she said. "You have to help me eat this pie before Ross gets into it again."

 **You didn't actually think I'd let Rachel have Paolo's baby did you? I'm not that mean lol. It just made for an interesting twist/addition to the plot. I will continue to follow the show's storyline with a few alterations as usual. Next chapter will be lighter I promise.**


	8. Chapter 8

**So this chapter is a little happier. I'm glad you all don't hate me for doing what I did to Rachel. Hope you enjoy!**

"Is there something fundamentally unattractive about me?" Chandler asked the group. They were all at Monica's apartment, and he had just returned from a party. Rachel was still depressed at times, but today seemed to be a better day as she was hanging out with them and not crying.

"I don't think so," Monica said, eyeing him up and down. Chandler felt strange in the pit of his stomach as she did so.

"I always feel unattractive when I've put weight on," Phoebe said absently. She was flipping through a magazine.

"Wait, what?" Chandler asked. "Are you saying I'm fat?"

"No, no," Phoebe said. "Just saying you've added some insulation to your body."

"In other words, fat," Chandler said. He fell down onto the chair. "That's just great."

"I can help," Monica said. "I don't have a job and am in desperate need of a project."

"I'm not sure I want to be your 'project,'" Chandler said, using air quotes. "It sounds like a lot of work. Plus, it cuts into my 'lying on the couch' schedule."

"Come on," Monica begged. "You won't be sorry."

"Just let her, man," Joey said. The others nodded in unison.

"All right, but if I put on spandex and my knockers are bigger than yours, I'm out," Chandler said. Monica hid her smirk behind her hand. She was just glad he had agreed.

"Your tushi will look fabulous," Phoebe chimed in. "Spandex always shows off your stuff."

"I don't want people to see my stuff," Chandler said to Monica.

"Then don't wear spandex," she suggested. "You'll be doing my eyes a favor."

"Oh ha ha," Chandler said sarcastically. "I still have feelings you know."

"Deep, deep down," Joey sniggered.

"My feelings are not buried under fat," Chandler said, outraged. "I'm taking my ball and going home." He stood up and left. The others called after him to come back, that they didn't mean it, but he didn't stop.

"I better go see if princess is okay," Monica said. She went across the hall and into his apartment. She found him facedown on the couch.

"Chandler?" she asked.

"Come to insult me some more?" he challenged.

"Not at all. I don't think you're that fat," Monica said. "I've been there remember? Big fat goalie?"

"Right," Chandler said, sitting up. She was standing there with her arms crossed. She was so smokin' hot. He couldn't picture her fat.

"Tomorrow morning?" she suggested. "We can go for a run."

"All right," he agreed. She smiled and turned to go.

"Hey, Mon?" he called after her. She turned to face him. "Thanks."

"Anytime," she said, waving. Then she was gone. Chandler sat there wondering if she was going to be wearing spandex and just what that might look like.

 **The Next Morning**

Monica came out her apartment to see Chandler jogging on the spot in tight little shorts. She snorted in laughter.

"Aaand we're gonna change," he said, heading back inside his apartment.

"Hurry up! We got calories to burn!" she called through the door. He came back in regular shorts. They set off together. After the first block, Chandler started to lag behind. Exhausted, he hailed a cab and sailed past her. She called after him, running faster. She got back to her apartment gasping for breath. Chandler was standing at her doorway all calm and sweatless.

"That's cheating," she huffed. She let him in. "Situps, now." She pointed to the ground fiercely, so he obliged. He did two before collapsing onto his back.

"Five more, come on!" she shouted.

"Can't," he said weakly.

"Five more and I'll flash you," she offered. Chandler's brain went into overdrive. He managed two and a half.

"Maybe just one?" he suggested. "For my effort?"

"Not a chance," she said. "All right that's enough for a little bit, Bing. Racquetball in an hour and a half." She got up and went to shower. Chandler struggled to his feet. Every muscle in his body was screaming at him. After changing and cleaning up, he went down to the cafe. Joey was already there. Rachel was finally back at work, so she was there as well.

"Here you go," she said, handing him a coffee.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow," he said, taking it and bringing it to his lips. Then he had to put it back on the table. "Ow, ow, ow, ow."

"Geez, Chandler," Joey said, noticing his pain. "Tell her you want to quit already."

"Can't do that," he shook his head. "I'm all she's got for work. I don't think we can afford to buy her her own restaurant."

"You're right," Joey agreed. Phoebe came in just then. She had attempted to move on from Joey by dating someone, but this someone was not putting out for her, and it was frustrating her.

"How'd it go?" Joey asked.

"Not good. Still won't do it," she said, collapsing into her chair. "I don't get it."

"Maybe he's...gay?" Joey suggested.

"No. When we were dancing the other night, I felt it. You can't fake that," she told him. Joey made the "ah" face at her.

"Hey, Bing!" Monica called. "Racquetball in 20."

"Hey, Geller," he said. "Bite me."

"Oh come on!" she cried. "We got this!"

"No, you got this," Chandler said. "You got this but good. I can't even move."

"That just means we're making progress," she explained. "When you can't feel anything at all, then we're doing really well."

"Yea, I'll pass," he snorted.

"Oh no," Phoebe said, seeing Julie and Ross outside. Rachel followed her gaze.

"No worries. I have a date today," she said. "I've moved on."

"Have you really?" Chandler asked. "How can you just move on like that after having such a serious crush?" He gave Phoebe a pointed look to show he was talking about her too. She tightened her lips and scrunched her nose in return to tell him to shut up.

"Date enough other guys and it can happen," Rachel said. "Besides, I've been really down about losing my baby, and I just thought getting back out there might cheer me up."

"That's true," Monica agreed. "You have been awfully down recently. I think it's a good thing."

"You're just justifying it cos it's the guy you set her up with, right?" Joey asked.

"Not at all," she said, scratching the back of her neck and looking away.

"Look, it's fine," Rachel said, interrupting. "Time to start fresh with someone new and maybe find some happiness."

"Okay," Chandler agreed, thinking it was a terrible idea.

"Hey guys," Ross said. He was holding Julie's hand. "Mon, do you have Fluffy's old cat toys? I'm going to swing by and grab them."

"Who's toys?" Monica asked, making her meaning clear. He sighed.

"Fluffy Meowington's toys," Ross said.

"Why yes, Ross, I do," she smirked.

"Why do you need cat toys?" Phoebe asked. "Things dull in the sack already?"

"No, no," Ross said, holding his hand up. "And ew, no. We're getting a cat together."

"She'll live with me half the time and with Ross the other half," Julie chimed in. Rachel felt a suckerpunch to the gut. So he was going to own something with Julie, was he? That was just great. She saw Chandler looking at her, so she acted all uncaring.

"Hey, look at that," Rachel said, looking at he watch. "I gotta date. With a man. See y'all later!" She took off her apron and went out the door. Monica shared a worried look with Chandler. They both knew she was so not over Ross.

 **Later**

Rachel had a horrible headache. She barely remembered anything from her date last night. The only thing she did recall was Michael did not have a good time. She imagined she unleashed her woes about the baby and Ross onto him. No guy could take that on a first date.

"Hey," Ross said, coming in. The noise was deafening. She clutched her ears, moaning. "Bad date?" he asked.

"No idea," she said. She popped a painkiller into her mouth and swished it down with water.

"Do you know where the cat toy is?" he asked her, searching. She shook her head. There was something she was forgetting.

"Did we talk last night?" she asked.

"No," he replied. "I stayed at Julie's. Oh, that reminds me, can I check my messages?"

"Yea sure," Rachel said, heading to her room. Then it hit her like a ton of bricks. The wine, the talk about closure, the message...ohhh crap.

"There's one from you," Ross said, smiling.

"No! No, no, no!" she yelped, charging across the room. She hurled herself off the back of the couch and onto his back, grabbing for the phone. Ross hung up, stunned.

"You're over me?" he asked. She slid off his back.

"Uh huh," she answered warily.

"When were you...under me?" he asked. This was all so confusing.

"Since China," she answered truthfully.

"Ch-China?" he stuttered. "Since China?! Oh my God, Rachel..."

"It's fine! You had Julie," she started. The buzzer went.

"Julie! Oh shit, Julie," he said, answering it.

"Hi honey, I'm waiting," Julie's voice said.

"Coming!" he said with a fake, chipper voice. He turned to Rachel. "I have to go get a cat now. A cat, you hear me? With Julie, the woman I love."

"Got it," Rachel said. "I'm over you, remember?" Ross gave her a wounded look before heading out the door. His brain was whirling. Rachel had feelings for him. Rachel. His Rachel. This was very bad. Bad, bad, bad.

 **Across the hall**

"Well, I took your advice," Phoebe said, coming into Joey's apartment. "It finally happened. Why are you watching this?" Joey was staring at the screen with a rabbi playing an electric guitar.

"Can't find remote," he said, transfixed. Phoebe snapped the TV off for him. "Thank you."

"Did you hear me?" she asked. She wasn't sure why she was even telling him about Scott. Maybe she hoped it would somehow make him realize he wanted her and get jealous.

"I heard you. So what happened?" he asked. She explained it all to him. He was thinking carefully.

"Well?" she prodded.

"So he got you to beg to sleep with him, say he never has to call you back, and he made you think it was a good idea?"

"Um...yea," Phoebe said, finally getting it. "Damn it."

"It's all right, Phoebs," Joey said. "He doesn't deserve you anyway. You need a guy that worships you in every way."

"Aww, Joey," she said. "That's so sweet." They sat there looking at each other until Chandler burst in.

"No, no, no!" he said as Monica followed him. "I'm done. I'm out! You can't make me."

"Three more pounds!" she called after him as he slammed his bedroom door. "Come ooooon!"

"No!" he shouted through his door.

"Wuss," she muttered, heading back out of the apartment. Joey and Phoebe started laughing as soon as she was gone.

"Hey, Rach," Monica said, entering her apartment.

"Monica, I've done a terrible thing," Rachel said.

"You didn't rearrange the mugs again did you? I told you I like them the way they are!" Monica shrilled.

"I didn't touch your damn mugs!" Rachel cried. "Ross knows I care about him!"

"What?! Oh my God. How? When?"

"I left him a message last night on my date saying I was over him," Rachel moaned.

"Rachel!" Monica shouted.

"I know! I know, I know, I know," Rachel chanted. "This is so bad. He's off getting a cat with Julie. I should have never interfered. Mon, I gotta get out of here."

"Wait...what do you mean?" Monica asked.

"I have to leave," Rachel said, running to her room. "I'm going back home. This has all been way too much for me! First the baby, then Ross...I can't do this anymore."

"Rach! You can't just bail on us," Monica called, rushing after her. Rachel was throwing clothing into her bags. Monica reached in and pulled them back out.

"Stop it!" Rachel yelled at her. "Mon! I have to go. I can't ruin his life. You can't stop me!" Monica stopped and stared in shock.

"Y-you can't leave," Monica whimpered. "We're roomies. We stick together."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said, crying. "I'm so sorry. I'll keep in touch I promise."

"No you won't," Monica said. She turned and fled. Rachel kept packing with a vengeance and crying. This was so not how it was supposed to end.

 **Early Evening**

"Where's Rachel?" Ross asked, barging into Monica's apartment. He had given up on the whole cat thing. He needed to talk to her, and she wasn't at Central Perk.

"She left," Monica said hoarsely. She had been crying ever since Rachel went out the door.

"Left?" Ross asked.

"She said she didn't want to disrupt your life with Julie. She went home," Monica told him.

"She left. I don't believe this," Ross said. He turned to go.

"Where are you going?" Monica called.

"To bring her back," Ross answered over his shoulder.

 **Chandler & Phoebe**

"What are you doing?" Chandler asked.

"What do you mean?"

"With Scott. What are you doing?" he asked again.

"I don't know. I...I just thought I could try to forget Joey," Phoebe admitted. It had been a mistake. The whole time she was with Scott she compared him to Joey. If this was what it was going to be like forever, then she had no idea what she was going to do.

"Is it working?" Chandler asked.

"No. It's not. What am I going to do?" Phoebe sighed, echoing her thoughts.

"You could stay hopelessly in love forever and keep it from him like I am with Monica," Chandler suggested.

"Yea what is with you showing off your tush for her like that?" Phoebe challenged. "I thought you said you weren't going to tell her?"

"I'm not, I didn't!" he argued. "We're really good friends."

"Oh sure," Phoebe said.

"Monica deserves someone who can give her what he wants: marriage and babies," he went on. "Those two things make me want to hurl myself out of an airplane without a parachute."

"What is the matter with you?" Phoebe asked.

"You see! That's what I'm talking about," Chandler said. "I can't give that to her, so I'm automatically out."

"And you can never change yourself?" Phoebe demanded.

"Well...no," Chandler said, shaking his head. He didn't think he could. That would be impossible. She let it go. They were sitting there each pondering what to do when Monica burst in.

"Rachel's gone!" she cried.

"What?!" they both asked at the same time.

"She accidentally told Ross about her feelings, and now she's gone and Ross is going after her," Monica said, out of breath.

"Oh wow," Phoebe said. "That is so...romantic."

"I know!" Monica said, grinning. "I just hope he catches her."

 **Rachel**

She was sitting on the train waiting for it to leave the station. She tried not to think about what her parents were going to say when she showed up at their door. A year and a half's worth of work to be independent thrown right out the window. Maybe it was meant to be. She never truly belonged here anyway. She rested her head back onto the headrest and closed her eyes. The last few weeks had just been way too hard. She was doing the right thing. She knew she was. She felt the train jolt into movement. She opened her eyes to see the last of the city when she heard his shouting.

"RACHEL!"

Everyone turned to see who Rachel was. She looked out the window to see Ross chasing after the train.

"Oh my God," she muttered to herself. He sprinted hard until he reached the doorway and leaped on just before the door closed. She felt heat rushing to her face when he pushed his way past people to reach her.

"Rachel," he said, stopping in front of her.

"Where's Julie?" Rachel asked.

"It's over," Ross replied. "I couldn't commit to a damn cat. I had to tell her the truth. Rach, it's you. It's always been you. I let the baby and my own stupidity get in the way of telling you before, and I need to tell you now that I love you. Rachel, I love you. Please don't go."

"Ross..." Rachel trailed off. She looked around at the moving train and everyone staring at them. "It's kind of late for that."

"It's not too late," Ross begged. "Rachel, I'm right here. I'm telling you I want to be with you."

"No, Ross," Rachel said. "I meant it's too late to stop the train. We're kind of stuck here until it stops again." She looked at him with a smile. He started to laugh, getting what she was saying.

"So, you want to try? You want to be an us?" he asked.

"Yes, yes I do," she replied. She stood up and he pulled her into his arms, kissing her with all his might. It was everything he had dreamed of and more. People were applauding and cheering, which made Rachel blush.

"So now what?" Ross asked, sitting down beside her.

"We wait until it stops and then turn around," she answered. She rested her head onto his shoulder. It was what she wanted. She finally felt happy again.

 **I love moments like these :) Got lots more a comin'! Next chapter will be longer. As always, leave me a review ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

Rachel sat there looking at Ross while the train slightly shook them side to side. He had this grin on his face that said it all. He caught her watching and squeezed her hand.

"So you were really going home?" he asked.

"I just figured I'd wrecked everything and wanted to get out of the city as fast as I could," Rachel shrugged. "How did you find me?"

"Monica. I was with Julie surrounded by cats, and she kept saying 'Pick one. Pick one, Ross,' and it just kept bouncing in my brain that you had feelings for me. It was something I'd wanted ever since high school, and I stood there looking at Julie, but all I could think about was you. In my books, you're not with the right person if you're wishing they were someone else."

"Was she really mad?" Rachel asked, wincing a little.

"She was upset. I didn't give her time to be mad. I explained that I was sorry, that I had made a mistake. I tried to make her see that me staying with her would only end up with her getting hurt," Ross finished.

"Did she understand?"

"I don't know. I kind of thought she was going to throw the cat she was holding at me, so I ran," Ross laughed nervously.

"So you just left her there?" Rachel asked. "Poor Julie."

"I thought you hated Julie?" Ross asked.

"Well, yea, but no girl deserves to be ditched like that," Rachel replied.

"So what, you want me to go talk to her again? I don't think she'll receive me well," Ross said.

"No, just don't ever do that with me," Rachel warned.

"I don't ever plan to," Ross smiled. He kissed her hand. She smiled back. A piece of her felt a little pleased that Ross had ditched Julie like that. She wouldn't admit it out loud. She wondered how Perfect Julie felt after finding out she wasn't so perfect after all?

 **Later**

Ross and Rachel walked into Monica's apartment hand in hand. Phoebe was there with Monica, and she saw them first.

"Are you...?" she asked. They both nodded.

"Oh my God!" Monica screeched. She threw herself at them both, hugging them tightly. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Me too!" Phoebe cried, joining the group hug.

"So glad you all knew about how she felt and didn't tell me," Ross said to them.

"It doesn't matter now because it all worked out," Monica dismissed him.

"We heard the screeching," Chandler said, coming in with Joey. "Good news?"

"Yes! Look!" Phoebe said, pointing at their conjoined hands excitedly. "He's her lobster!" Everyone gave each other a small glance at this. They weren't sure what she meant, but half the time they didn't really know what she was talking about anyway.

"It's about time," Joey told them, figuring it was best to just move the conversation along. "Good for you guys." Chandler stood there watching as both Ross and Rachel gave each other that look that new couples gave each other. He swallowed. He wanted to have that kind of look with Monica. He glanced over at her, and he saw that she was so happy she was almost crying.

"We have you to thank, Chandler," Rachel said.

"Huh?" Chandler grunted, being brought back to the present.

"Yea," Ross said. "If you hadn't blown it and told Rachel, I'd probably still be with the wrong girl."

"Ah, well, you're welcome," Chandler said. Phoebe knew how he was feeling. She couldn't understand why he didn't just get over his fear of commitment and tell Monica how he felt about her. Then again, she was one to talk. She peeked at Joey, who was up to his knuckles in Monica's pickle jar swishing his fingers around trying to get the best one. He really was a big kid.

"We're gonna go get some coffee," Rachel said to the group. "We'll see you later."

"Bye!" Monica called after them.

"I have an audition to get to," Joey said. He licked his fingers clean. "Wish me luck!"

"Good luck," Phoebe said.

"Well, that's enough excitement for me for one day," Chandler said. Monica picked up on his low mood. She wondered what was wrong.

"Me too," Phoebe said, following Chandler. "Bye, Mon!" She pulled the door shut behind her and chased after Chandler before he closed his door.

"What's with you?" she asked. "She totally knew something was wrong."

"I feel so stuck," Chandler said.

"Just tell her!" Phoebe said, smacking him.

"Ow!" he yelped, rubbing his arm. "I'll tell her when you tell Joey." She paused, knowing that wasn't going to happen.

"Well played, Bing," Phoebe said. "Well played."

"Stop harassing me about it," Chandler went on. "It's not going to happen."

"Okay fine," Phoebe said. "Be miserable forever."

"I could say the same to you," he pointed out. She huffed and left. He sat there tapping his fingers on the counter before getting an idea. He flipped open his laptop and started typing.

 _Reasons to tell Monica how I feel: I'm crazy about her. She's amazing. She's my best friend. We'd have great sex._

 _Reasons not to tell Monica how I feel: I'm a loser. I can't commit. Babies terrify me. Marriage makes me feel like I'm suffocating. I'm not good enough for her._

He stopped typing. This was ridiculous. He clicked his laptop shut. A list was not going to make him decide whether or not he should tell her how he felt about her. He sighed and went to his room. He needed to think.

 **The Next Day**

"I got a job!" Monica said excitedly. The gang was at the coffee house relaxing when she came bursting in.

"That's great, Mon!" Ross said.

"What is it?" Phoebe asked.

"I'm making mockolate," she said, trying not to wince. She needed them to be her lab rats after all and try her samples.

"Sounds like you're mocking chocolate," Chandler joked. "They might not like that."

"They can toughen up," Monica replied.

"Well, I think it's great," Rachel said. Ross was beside her with his arm around her, and she was in seventh heaven.

"Sign me up for tasting," Joey said, winking.

"You bet," Monica said. _Sucker_ , she thought.

 **Later**

"I can't believe you got me to put this in my mouth," Rachel said, spitting out the dessert. Phoebe muttered something about how this was what evil tasted like.

"If I wanted to be poisoned, I would have called the Exterminator," Chandler said, horking it back out into his hand.

"It's definitely not chocolate," Ross said, choking.

"I like it," Joey said, chewing greedily and reaching for more.

"It's really that bad?" Monica asked. She tasted some and spat it out so hard and fast that it hit Chandler square on the face.

"I think that answers your question," Chandler said, wiping it off. He tried not to think about how Monica's spit was just on his cheek.

"Guys, what am I going to do? I have to pretend to like this stuff in order to keep my job," Monica moaned.

"What if you disguised real chocolate as mockolate?" Phoebe suggested.

"I think he'd notice," Monica said. She sighed. "This sucks."

"Sucks and blows," Chandler commented.

"What?" Monica asked.

"Nothing," he muttered.

"Can I eat it?" Joey asked.

"Knock yourself out," Monica agreed. He took it all and tucked in. She went over to her couch and flopped down.

"Don't let it bring you down," Phoebe said. "Something better will come along."

"God, I hope so," Monica replied. If she didn't have a proper job by Christmas, she was going to go mental.

 **Christmas Eve**

"Damn it!" Monica shouted. Another batch of her cookies had come back stepped on and rejected. Didn't anyone appreciate hard labor over an oven anymore? Or was it all about money?

"Uh oh," Ross said, standing there with the radiator knob in his hand.  
"What did you do?" Monica demanded.

"It came off," Ross said.

"No shit Sherlock," Monica growled.

"I'll call Treeger," Rachel said. She went to the other room to make the call.

"We'll just call it a theme party," Monica said, referring to their gathering that night.

"Ah yes. Welcome to the sun," Ross said sarcastically.

"Hey, you're the one who broke it," Monica said angrily.

"He said he can't get the part until Tuesday," Rachel said coming back.

"That's perfect," Monica muttered. No job, no boyfriend, no nothing. This was turning out to be the worst Christmas ever.

"Rach, why don't we get out of Monica's way," Ross suggested.

"Do you need us for anything?" Rachel asked.

"Oh just to help me prep for this party tonight," Monica replied. Rachel looked at her with a look that said she didn't really want to.

"What do you want me to do?" Rachel asked instead.

"Just go," Monica hurled at her. Rachel obliged. She didn't like being around Monica when she was all snarly and mad. She took Ross' hand and they went down to the coffee house to escape.

 **Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey**

The day had started off great. Phoebe was living her life happily, and then it all came crashing down. Now, instead of playing at the Perk or helping Monica prep for her party, she was sitting here in her grandmother's cab staring at a house where the person inside could change everything in her life as she knew it. She had two goons in the back trying to convince her to go inside while a mad dog was jumping up and down barking like crazy and snarling at them.

"Why is this so hard?" Phoebe asked. They were sitting outside of her father's house. Joey and Chandler were in the back of the cab, unsure whether or not to answer. They had been there for hours trying to get her to go in. Chandler couldn't figure it out. Phoebe had found out earlier that day that her grandmother had been hiding her father's real picture, and she didn't know if she wanted to go in and see him or not. He guessed the guy did abandon them after all, so that would be a drawback. He thought about his father. At least he knew the guy well before he left the family for the pool boy.

"Maybe you're just afraid that he won't turn out to be the great dad you've imagined him to be," Joey suggested.

"I think you're right," she said, turning to look at him gratefully. "Will you judge me if I just drive away?"

"Not at all," Chandler told her. He was getting cold and tired anyway. He had wanted to get Monica the best Christmas gift to cheer her up, but now he was out of time. He was wracking his brain to come up with an idea.

"We can try again another day," Joey reassured her. Phoebe nodded to herself more than to him, and put the cab in gear and drove away. She'd meet him another day. She was all right with that.

 **Monica-Christmas Day**

Honestly, how did she not know she could have turned off the radiator from underneath? She was supposed to be smart. For Joey to know that and not her, it was embarrassing. It was Christmas morning, and she was lying on her bed staring at the ceiling. She didn't want to do it. She had no money to get many gifts this year. She didn't want to go to her parents' place and listen to how she was failing at everything in life while Ross had it all. She heard stirring in Rachel's room. Rachel was so lucky. She had Ross, and she could wake up knowing that she was loved and that everything was okay. Monica winced at herself, remembering. Rachel did lose a baby after all, so that made Monica feel like a horrible person for even being jealous of Rachel. She sighed again. She just wanted a boyfriend to hold her in the morning and tell her it was all going to be okay. She cracked open the pop she traded Ross for last night. She wished she could get crappy gifts like Chandler and Joey and have everyone be fine with it. She finally got out of bed and headed for the kitchen. She spotted an object on the table and went to examine it further. It was an origami swan, and it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. It had different shades of grey mixed into it. There was also a note, which she picked up to read.

 _Monica, sorry for the lousy gift. I hope this one is better. Chandler_

Chandler had made this?! She picked it up and examined it further. She had no idea he was capable of making such delicate things.

"Merry Christmas," Chandler said, coming in at that moment. She looked up at him, smiling.

"Merry Christmas. Chandler, this is beautiful," she said.

"Ah, well, you know," Chandler rambled. He blushed a little.

"Best gift I've ever gotten," she told him. She went over to hug him and kiss him on the cheek. He enjoyed the closeness and felt cold when she released him. He watched her examine it as she walked to her room, still smiling. He grinned to himself because within the folds of paper he had written _Monica, I love you_ , and she'd never see it, but he felt it was still a way of telling her about his feelings whether she saw it or not.

 **Joey & Phoebe**

He had gone down to the coffee house while Chandler went to Monica's on Christmas morning. Joey knew Gunther kept the place open because he didn't really have any family, so he wanted those without family to not be alone. It was empty save for Phoebe when he got there. He noticed right away that she was sad.

"Hey," Joey said, sitting down beside her. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just sad," she said. "Do you need a reason?"

"I guess not," he agreed. "I thought maybe it was about your dad. Can I help?"

"Not if you can bring my mother back to life," she sighed. "I really miss her today, and thinking about my dad makes me think about her."

"I could give it a shot," Joey said, thinking about it.

"That's why I love you," Phoebe said, not thinking. Joey looked at her curiously.

"What?" he asked.

"In a totally friend almost brother-like way," she said quickly. His face relaxed.

"Aww Phoebs, I love you too," he said, hugging her. She felt her heart twist. If she hadn't covered it up, he would have been freaked out. She saw that now. It made her feel even sadder. It made it that she couldn't even enjoy his hug properly.

"Coffee's on me," Joey said, getting up. Phoebe wiped her eyes, watching him. She really needed to move on.

 **Christmas Night**

"That was horrible," Monica groaned as she, Ross and Rachel entered her apartment.

"I'm sure she didn't mean it," Ross reassured her.

"Oh yea, and how else am I supposed to take her, 'Monica, darling, are you gay?' comment?" Monica demanded.

"Well, I don't know," Ross admitted.

"I just haven't felt like dating," Monica said.

"Liar," Rachel laughed.

"Okay! So I'm a loser," Monica corrected herself. "Can we just go to bed?"

"All right," Ross said. He pulled Rachel in for a goodbye kiss. "I'll see you later?"

"Yea," Rachel said, smiling. When Ross left, she stood there holding herself and grinning like an idiot.

"You guys not...?" Monica asked, gesturing.

"Oh no. We decided to wait, take things slow," Rachel said. "I think it's for the best right now."

"Ah," Monica said. Rachel waved goodnight to her, heading to her room. Monica sat down with a thud and toyed with her phone. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to give him a call. She dialed.

"Hey, Bobby? Yea, it's Monica. I'm good, how are you? That's great. Listen, I know we broke up and all but...oh...yea? I'm glad you feel the same way. Yes, let's get together. Great! See you then." She hung up the phone, smiling. Sometimes you just had to be the instigator. Chandler turned away from the door. He had planned on asking her how her dinner went and maybe get the nerve up to ask her on a date, but after hearing her on the phone with Fun Bobby, he decided it was best to just leave her alone. He went back to his room alone and tried hard to not think about her.

 **Two Weeks Later**

"Anyone else need a picking up before I go?" Fun Bobby asked, laughing and setting Joey down. Joey was standing there grinning like an idiot. Chandler didn't raise his hand. He disliked the guy a little right now. He had done very well to not be around much when they were together. He could still hear them across the hall though. It sickened him. He turned away when Monica kissed Fun Bobby goodbye at the door. Joey left right after to check his messages. He kept saying something about big news that could happen.

"I think this could work this time," Monica said after, smiling. "We're going to a cabin for our two week anniversary." Chandler wanted to hurl.

"Hey, so why did we go through so much wine?" Phoebe asked, looking at the empty five bottles. The gang tallied up how much they had drank, coming to the realization that Bobby had drank three bottles by himself.

"So he drank a lot last night," Monica said defensively.

"He always has a drink in his hand," Ross pointed out.

"Yea, and his stories always involve booze," Phoebe added.

"Lay off will you?" Monica snarked. She went back to her room to get away from them. Who were they to judge? She was finally happy after months of misery, so they should cut her some slack. She would wait in here until they left.

"You guys, you guys!" Joey shouted, flinging the door open with a crash and galloping into the living room. Monica couldn't help it, she had to see what was so exciting.

"What's up, Joe?" Chandler asked, arms crossed.

"I got an audition the Days of Our Lives soap! I'm gonna be on Days of Our Lives!" Joey kept shouting.

"Hold up, you got an audition. That isn't a definite," Ross pointed out.

"You would ruin it for me wouldn't you?" Joey asked, affronted.

"Sorry, man. Just being realistic," Ross shrugged. Rachel swatted him.

"Be nice to him," she said. "He's really excited."

"I just don't want him to get his hopes up," Ross explained. Joey wasn't even listening anymore.

"That's great, Joe!" Monica said, clapping her hands. Maybe this would take the heat off of Fun Bobby's drinking problem.

"Can I go to the audition and watch?" Phoebe asked. This surprised them.

"Yea, I guess. Why not?" Joey said. She jumped up and down, excited. "Hurry up, though. It's in half an hour."

"Oh! Let's go then!" Phoebe cried, pulling on his hand. They left together.

 **After the Audition**

"You were brilliant," Phoebe said, hugging Joey. He looked embarrassed. He wasn't used to having his friends watching him do an audition. He noticed the casting woman that had been watching and taking notes giving him a look that he knew very well.

"Gosh, Phoebs," he said, shrugging her off. He didn't want the woman to think he was with her.

"What?" Phoebe asked. She turned to look. "Oh." She knew what was happening.

"Good work, Joey," the woman said, coming over to him. "I'm Lori."

"Nice to meet you," Joey said, smiling.

"You were very good. You've got a callback for Thursday," Lori told him. She winked at him. Joey laughed nervously.

"I think she was coming on to you," Phoebe said, watching her leave.

"You think?" Joey asked. "What the hell am I going to do? I can't sleep with someone to get a part!"

"Relax," Phoebe said, rubbing his shoulders. "You won't have to. I'm sure it was purely personal interest not about getting the part."

"I hope so. Come on, I have to go see Estelle," Joey said. They walked to Estelle's office together. When they walked in, she was on the phone with another client discussing a dead bird and how it was killing their act.

"Hello darling," she said to Joey, hanging up and smiling at him. "How did it go?"

"Pretty well," Joey said. "I got a callback for Thursday."

"Oh, he's being modest," Phoebe gushed. "He was brilliant!"

"Okay, stop it," Joey said, holding his hand out to stifle her enthusiasm.

"I'm ecstatic," Estelle said, giving a small grin at him. She stamped out her cigarette vigorously.

"One thing though," Joey went on. "I think the casting lady wants me to sleep with her. I get the feeling it would help me get the part."

"Let me have a looksie," Estelle said. She picked up the phone and called Lori herself. Both Joey and Phoebe watched as she nodded and "uh huhed" on the phone.

"Yup," she said, hanging up. "You're gonna have to sleep with her. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to eat my lunch." She swiveled in her chair to turn her back on them. Joey tugged at Phoebe's sleeve to encourage her to leave before she said anything he'd regret later.

"I don't believe this!" Phoebe shouted once they were in the hall. She was outraged.

"It's fine," Joey said. "I expected it. A big part like that...you don't just get it handed to you."

"It's so...dirty," Phoebe said. "I wouldn't feel very good about myself if I told you you had to sleep with me in order to get something."

"Well," Joey scoffed. "You wouldn't ask me to sleep with you to begin with anyway." Phoebe blushed scarlet. She turned her face before he could see. He honestly had no idea.

"Thanks for coming today," he said to her, oblivious. "Wanna get a coffee?" She nodded. Anything to get the subject off of having sex with him.

 **Later**

Monica stared after Fun Bobby, or Dull Bobby as Chandler had taken to calling him now, as he walked out of the cafe. She had no idea that alcohol was what made Bobby fun. If she heard another story about how a hardware store wasn't open after midnight, she might have a stroke, or an aneurysm, whichever came first. She deeply regretted asking him to quit drinking now. Stupid Phoebe and her stupid observation!

"All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy," Chandler said, flicking his newspaper. She turned to give him a glare.

"Shut up," she growled.

"Oh I'm sorry," he said. "Am I wrong?"

"It's not like I can break up with him now," Monica complained. "I'm the one who made him stop drinking."

"Then make him start drinking again if you can't stand him being stone cold dull," Chandler laughed.

"Ugh! Why did I listen to any of you?" Monica shouted, getting up and marching outside. Chandler felt bad, but not too terribly bad. He didn't like her being with Bobby anyway. The guy was a loser.

"Hey," Phoebe said sadly, plopping down next to him.

"Why so glum, chum?" Chandler asked.

"Joey has to sleep with a casting lady to get the part on Days," Phoebe explained. "I think he's going to do it."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Phoebs," Chandler said, patting her arm. "But I thought you had moved on?"

"I did! I have! I'm...working on it," she finished. She sighed heavily. "I really need to let this whole Joey thing go."

"It'll happen with time," Chandler reassured her.

"I hope you're right," she replied.

 **Monica's Apartment-Later**

Monica shut the door behind her feeling like she'd been sucker punched. Everyone was staring at her.

"He broke up with me," Monica said, referring to Bobby. "He said I have a drinking problem." She started laughing hysterically at this. The only reason she had started drinking more was because he was so damn boring!

"I'm sorry, Mon," Rachel said, hugging her.

"Eh, it's all right. I'm better off," Monica shrugged. Chandler felt a sense of triumph. He knew Bobby wasn't good enough for her.

"Guess what?!" Joey asked, running in. They all turned to him. "I told the casting lady I wouldn't sleep with her to get the part, and she offered me an even bigger part instead!"

"That's great!" Ross cried, clapping for him.

"Congrats, Joe!" Chandler added. Phoebe beamed at him. She knew he'd do the right thing.

"You are looking at Dr. Drake Ramoray, recurring character for four episodes!" he exclaimed. He gave the thumbs up with both hands excitedly.

"Woohoo!" Monica cheered.

"All right," Joey said. "I've gotta go shower now." He left, leaving the others understanding his meaning. Phoebe's heart sank. Chandler patted her leg covertly in attempts to make her feel better.

"All right," Rachel said, getting up. "Ross and I are going on our date now. See you all later!" She smiled as Ross took her hand and they walked out together. Monica felt slightly envious. She wished she could have a nice guy for once. She briefly glanced over at Chandler, seeing that he was already looking at her. He looked away quickly, and she wondered if he was thinking the same thing. She went into her room wondering if he was thinking about her in that way. The way he was looking at her just felt so much more intense than normal.

 **A Month Later**

Quite a few things happened over the past few weeks. Monica discovered she could cater events while Chandler learned a valuable lesson about thinking he could escape the repercussions of humiliating people after many years. Susie had sure shown him, and he was still feeling embarrassed about the whole thing. Phoebe had discovered a talent in singing songs to little kids about the truth. Joey had escaped a psychotic stalker and earned a spot on a movie set as a dead guy in a body bag. His Days gigs were going very well too. So much so that he spent a lot of money furnishing their apartment. Ross and Rachel's relationship was deepening further, and it was making Chandler look at himself with careful scrutiny about why he couldn't change his mind about marriage and babies. He had dabbled with the idea of telling Monica, but like before, he always chickened out. He wondered if she suspected his feelings. She was careful not to be alone with him for long. It could also be because she knew about what he had done to Susie in the fourth grade. No woman would, or should, like him after that anyway despite the fact he was just a kid when he did it.

"Okay, you guys have got to get out of those chairs!" Phoebe said, coming into Joey and Chandler's apartment. She stood in front of the TV.

"Hey, whoa, oh!" Joey and Chandler shouted at her.

"What is so important that you can't even...oh! Xanadu!"

"She's one of us now," Joey said, high fiving Chandler.

"Stop ordering food and sending it to my place!" Monica yelled, coming in with their pizzas. She held it just out of reach over Chandler's shoulder.

"Aw come on, lighten up," Chandler whined. "If you sat in this chair you'd totally get it."

"Then let me sit in it," Monica challenged.

"No. Now isn't a good time for me," Chandler replied. He jumped up in his seat and snatched the pizza box from her. It was then he noticed she was all dressed up.

"Hot date tonight?" Joey asked, noticing also. Phoebe swallowed hard. She had forgotten to warn Chandler about the James Bond doctor.

"As a matter of fact, I do," Monica said.

"Who?" Chandler asked. She blushed.

"Yea, who?" Joey echoed.

"Just a guy," she muttered. She turned and left. She didn't want to tell them just yet that her date was 20 years her senior. When she left, Chandler turned to Phoebe.

"Did you know about this?" he asked.

"Um...kind of," Phoebe said, wincing.

"What's the big deal? So Monica has a date," Joey said.

"It's not a big deal," Chandler argued. "I just wondered why our dear friend held out on us so we couldn't tease Monica with it."

"She was crafty," Phoebe nodded, referring to herself. Joey went back to the TV, his attention lost on the topic. Chandler sat there stewing. Whoever it was, Monica really went all out for him. He couldn't remember the last time she had dressed up so nice for a date. Phoebe squeezed his hand to show she was there for him. He gave a ghost of a smile in return. He should have expected this. He didn't make his move. It was his own fault.

 **Ross & Rachel**

"These stars are beautiful," Rachel whispered. She was snuggled up next to Ross, watching the fake solar system swirl above them. This was their big night. They had agreed when they first started dating to take things slowly, so the subject of sex wasn't broached until a couple of days ago. She had felt badly for laughing at him when he tried to touch her butt, but the whole thing was still hard to believe sometimes, that they were more than friends now and that type of behavior was okay.

"They're not as beautiful as you," Ross murmured into her ear.

"I'm glad we waited," she said.

"Me too," Ross agreed.

"It just...it all was overwhelming, but now I think I'm ready," she said.

"Really?" he asked. "No more laughing?"

"This time, it's not funny," she said. She turned and kissed him. The kiss led up to more, and then things just happened on their own. Nothing felt awkward or funny. It felt perfectly right.

 **Monica**

She tried not to think about the look on Chandler's face when he saw he dressed up. Why should she? Chandler was her best friend. He certainly wasn't interested in her, and he never gave any indication that he was, had he? She shook her head. She was on a date with Richard Burke. Richard was amazing, sexy, sophisticated. Dinner had gone well, and they were now back at her apartment.

"Are we crazy?" Richard asked her after they had stopped laughing about his grandkids.

"I...I don't know. Are we?" Monica countered nervously.

"21 years difference is a lot," Richard said, nodding. He looked at her sadly.

"You're right. Man, this sucks," Monica said. _And blows._ She almost chuckled, thinking about Chandler's add on to that phrase.

"Well, I guess..." Richard said, opening his arms for a hug. It started out innocent enough, but then it turned into more. Without verbalizing it, they made the decision that even though it was crazy, it didn't matter. There was a sudden knock on the door.

"Delivery!" a voice called.

"I'm going to kill them," Monica growled, flinging the door open and taking the food. She stomped over to the boys' apartment, throwing the door open.

"Enough is enough!" she yelled at them. "Get off your own damn asses and get your own damn food!" She dropped the bag onto Chandler's lap, making him yelp in pain. As she stormed off, he noticed Richard standing in her doorway laughing and pulling her inside. His heart twisted. His attempt at diversion went south. She was gonna do it with the doctor anyway. Phoebe had filled him in about Richard when Joey had caved and went to the bathroom. She had left hours earlier. He'd been sitting there stewing about it ever since.

"Hey, you gonna share or what?" Joey asked, bringing him back to the present moment. He passed the bag to Joey, not hungry suddenly. He focused on the TV and tried not to think about what Monica was doing across the hall.

 **I'm gonna do my best to keep posting, but I do have a very hectic week ahead of me, so you might have to wait for an update a little longer than usual. Thanks for reading!**


	10. Chapter 10

**My apologies if this chapter seems too fast. I've gone through a few episodes because I really want to get into the guts of things with these relationships and don't want to miss these episodes completely.**

Chandler was standing there alone in his apartment. The aftermath of Joey having moved out left a silence that was ringing in his ears. He was really gone. Joey had really left. Chandler felt unsure of what to do next. The soft tap at his door made him turn around.

"You okay?" Monica asked, coming in. She had decided to come back and check on him since everyone else was going with Joey to help him set up at his new place. Chandler stared at her for a moment. He wanted to say no, he wasn't okay. His best friend moved out and the girl he was crazy about was seeing a giant, mustached doctor.

"I'm fine," he said instead.

"I'm not buying that," Monica said, crossing the space between them and pulling him into a hug. Somehow, this made it all worse.

"Hey, thanks, but seriously, I'm fine," he said, pulling away from her. She stood there looking hurt. He went over to his chair and sat down.

"Well, if you need to talk, I'm across the hall," she told him, pointing.

"That'll be hard since you'll be doing the doctor all the time," Chandler muttered bitterly.

"Excuse me?" Monica asked, getting angry now.

"I'm saying you'll be very busy," Chandler replied, louder.

"You know what, Chandler? I came back to be with you because I knew how hurt you'd be, but I don't need to take this abuse," Monica snapped. She spun on her heel and stormed out. Chandler cringed at the slamming of the door. He had effectively damaged two friendships in one day. That had to be a new record.

 **Later**

"How could he just say that to me?" Monica demanded. She was pacing the apartment while Rachel sat on the couch watching nervously. "It's not like he ever told me he liked me. Chandler does not like me!"

"Do you like him?" Rachel asked tentatively. The glare she received was worthy of a trophy kill.

"Absolutely not!" Monica snarled. "I like Richard. I'm with Richard. Chandler is...Chandler. Even if I did like him, it would never work because he is terrified of commitment!"

"So that's a no..." Rachel trailed off.

"Yes it's a no!" Monica exploded. "Have I thought about it the odd time? Sure, but who doesn't think about a potential boyfriend when they're surrounded by members of the opposite sex?"

"So you've thought about being with Joey too?" Rachel asked, curious. Monica blushed.

"Twice," she admitted. "But it's stupid! They're my friends. You don't cross that line if it's not going to work."

"So you think I shouldn't have gone for it with Ross," Rachel pointed out.

"No! No, no! I didn't meant that. You guys are different. Your relationship started with those feelings, especially from Ross. He never saw you as just a friend. He always had that crush, those feelings."

"But I didn't," Rachel said. "I always saw him as a friend. I crossed that line. You're saying you should never do that."

"Oh, don't listen to me," Monica said, feeling frantic now. "I'm just babbling. I'm mad. And anyway, you and Ross are gonna make it. You are meant to be together. Chandler and I...not so much. I don't get why he's so mad at me being with Richard, and if it's because he has feelings for me, then he should have just said so."

"Hmm," Rachel said. She had no intention of breaking up with Ross. She was admittedly enjoying the panic in Monica's face as she thought she had ended their relationship.

"Don't leave Ross," Monica begged.

"I'm not," Rachel laughed. She couldn't do that to her friend for long.

"Thank God," Monica groaned. She flopped down on the chair finally.

"Chandler is upset because Joey left," Rachel started. "I doubt he said what he said to you because he likes you. Chandler says the oddest things on a good day."

"You're right," Monica agreed. "He is lashing out at everyone right now. I'll give him some space." Rachel nodded. It was a ridiculous idea that Chandler would like Monica. They were in no way compatible to begin with. At least, that's what it seemed like.

 **The Next Day**

Rachel was too busy focusing on the pie in the man's hood to listen to Phoebe's exciting story about Smelly Cat being produced properly. When the man got up to leave, she yanked on Ross' arm.

"Oh please, if you care for me at all, you'll get the pie out of that guy's hood!" she begged.

"The what out of where?" Ross asked, confused.

"Pie in the hood, pie in the hood!" she chanted, pointing. Ross bounded over and pulled the pie out. The man turned to look at him.

"Dude?!" the guy exclaimed.

"I hide desserts in people's clothing to see if they notice. 50 points for me!" Ross said, laughing awkwardly. "They don't let me out of the hospital very much." The guy turned and quickly walked out of the cafe. Ross doubted very much he would return.

"What do I do with this?" he asked Rachel, holding up the pie.

"Dibs!" Joey called, smacking Ross' hand to make the pie go up into the air so he could nab it.

"Well that's taken care of," Ross commented. He went to clean his hands off.

"Hee hee!" Phoebe was exclaiming. She was super excited. If her song was made into an album, then things would start to really look up for her singing career. She looked up to see Chandler standing outside looking in. She almost waved to him, but he turned swiftly and walked away. She felt puzzled, but then she remembered that Joey had moved out. Chandler was still sore from that. She didn't know the reason was because of his argument with Monica before. He wasn't ready to face her yet.

"I have to get to work," Ross said, kissing Rachel. "I'll see everyone later."

"Bye!" Rachel called. She went back to work herself.

"I'm meeting Richard for lunch," Monica said, getting up.

"Oooh have fun," Phoebe called after her. Monica smiled in return.

"I think I made a mistake," Joey said suddenly once it was just the two of them.

"What do you mean?" Phoebe asked.

"I shouldn't have moved out."

"But, I thought you wanted to live on your own?" she asked.

"I did! But then, I was talking to Chandler earlier..."

"Oh, you were?"

"Yea. I realized I missed him, and I missed doing things together with him. Me leaving really hurt him though. What am I going to do?" he asked her.

"Well," Phoebe started. "I don't know."

"Should I just go see him?" Joey asked.

"Yea, do that," she nodded. He nodded back.

"I'll see you later," he said, patting her arm. "And congratulations again."

"Thanks," she said. She hoped Chandler would want to talk to him since he couldn't even come inside after seeing him there.

 **Chandler**

Eddie was unpacking when Joey showed up. Chandler could tell Joey was confused at the scene before him.

"W-what's going on?" Joey asked.

"Hi, I'm Eddie," Eddie said, shaking Joey's hand. Joey stared at his hand after. Then he looked at Chandler.

"I bumped into Eddie in the grocery store, and he mentioned he needed a place to stay, so I offered my spare room," Chandler explained, shrugging.

"Spare room? My room's the spare room now?" Joey demanded.

"Well, you left, so that makes it...spare," Chandler replied.

"You want your moose hat?" Eddie asked, handing it to Joey. Joey snatched it from him.

"So...so this is really it then," Joey said.

"I guess it is," Chandler nodded.

"All right," Joey said, putting on his hat. He started to leave when Chandler called out.

"When did ya start using mousse in your hair?" Chandler asked, smirking. Eddie burst into peals of odd sounding giggles. Joey snorted.

"This guy is hilarious!" Eddie gasped, holding his side.

"Yea, he sure is," Joey agreed. Then he walked out the door. He stood in the hallway and held the hat in his hands. Chandler had the hunter's hat in his room. They used to put them on and chase each other around the apartment building pretending to do a moose hunt. Joey felt the ache suddenly, and he wished extra hard that he hadn't left. He passed Monica in the hall. He barely noticed her. She looked at him, concerned, but then shrugged it off. She knocked.

"Hey," Chander said, coming out. "What's up?"

"I just want to apologize for getting angry at you last night," Monica said. "You were upset..."

"It's okay. I'm sorry for saying what I said too. I was just bitter," Chandler offered. "I really do appreciate you being there for me."

"It's what friends are for," Monica smiled.

"Of course," Chandler said.

"Do you have someone in there?" Monica asked, hearing noises through the door.

"Oh yea. That's Eddie, my new roommate," Chandler said.

"Oh. Oh! That's why...nevermind," Monica finished. She didn't want Chandler to know how upset Joey was when he had left.

"Yea, so I should get back in there," Chandler said, gesturing.

"Okay. Have fun," Monica said. She went back into her apartment wondering how poor Joey was going to recover from that surprise.

 **The Next Day**

"We gotta do something about those two," Rachel said to Richard. They were sitting at the kitchen table watching Ross and Monica bicker and squabble over a television show the other wanted to watch.

"Hmm," Richard mused. "I think it's a little funny. I mean, I've seen it more frequently than you have since I watched them grow up."

"Yes, but I live here," Rachel argued. "You get to leave."

"True," Richard nodded. "What do you propose we do?"

"I don't know," Rachel said, getting up, "but this has to stop." She went over to the two of them and grabbed the remote from them. Richard went over to join her.

"All right!" she said loudly, getting Ross and Monica's attention. "That's enough! I can't take it anymore! You two are worse than a room full of puppies! All you do is make noise and want all the attention on you!"

"Are you calling me a puppy?" Ross asked, cutting in.

"Shush!" Rachel ordered, snapping her fingers. Ross obeyed. Richard snickered quietly to himself.

"What do you want us to do?" Monica asked. "I can kill him if you'd like, but you'll have to give me an alibi."

"We want you to figure out how to get along," Rachel told her. "So sit there and nobody gets to watch any TV or do anything else until you figure it out! Got it?"

"But..."

"Richard, back me up here," Rachel said.

"Do what your mother says," Richard grunted, hiding a smirk.

"Oh thanks," Rachel said sarcastically.

"Okay, okay," Monica said. "We'll sort it out." Satisfied, Rachel left with the remote with Richard following like an obedient spouse.

"So what do we do?" Ross asked.

"You could start with knocking off the practical jokes," Monica answered.

"Oh. I thought we were having fun," Ross said, confused. "Like when we were kids."

"Maybe you are. Ross, I hated you when I was a kid," Monica told him. He looked taken aback.

"Really?"

"Yes! You were so mean! I couldn't wait to grow up and get away from you, and now you're here all the time. I can't take it much longer," she finished.

"I...I'm sorry, Mon," Ross said, genuinely sorry. "I had no idea. Look, I'll start having Rachel over at my place more often and let you have some peace."

"Thank you," Monica responded gratefully. They hugged.

"Can we have the remote back now?" Ross asked Rachel. She threw it at him.

"You wanna watch Entertainment Tonight?" he asked Monica.

"Nah. I'm gonna go out with Richard," she replied. She tousled his hair and got up to collect Richard for their date.

"Good job," Richard said, kissing her.

"Thanks...Daddy," she said in a sly, sexy tone.

"Oohhh!" Richard replied. "That's hot." He winked at Rachel as they went out the door. Rachel shuddered a little to herself. She didn't want to think about what they were going to do.

 **A Week Later**

Phoebe had discovered that her producer had used someone else's voice to sing her song, and she felt badly that the woman had been considered "too ugly" for the camera. It turned her off of recording, and she was simply happy to sing her songs in the Perk. She had left Chandler's apartment a few hours ago after encouraging him to bond with Eddie. She was sitting there when Monica burst in.

"Joey's character has been killed off!" Monica cried. "We gotta go see him!"

"What?!" Phoebe asked.

"Yea, we're all going. Come on!" she called, going out the door again. Phoebe followed. This couldn't be good for Joey.

 **Joey**

Joey was sitting in his apartment miserable when the pounding on his door started. He sighed. He knew he couldn't hide his character death for long. Damn television anyway.

"Joey! Open up!" Ross called.

"We want to support you," Phoebe added.

"And I have to pee!" Monica threw in. Joey got up and opened the door, giving Monica a look. She muttered a "sorry" and ran to his bathroom.

"We're so sorry, man," Chandler said, trying to pat his back. Joey sat there with crossed arms.

"Why did they do this?" Ross asked.

"I stupidly said in an article that I wrote some of my own lines," Joey answered reluctantly.

"Ohhh," Ross said, getting it.

"We're here for you," Phoebe said. She took his hand in hers. He gave her a grateful smile, which made her feel warm inside.

"Let's go get a pizza," Chandler suggested. Joey's eyes lit up.

"With those little bacon pieces?" he asked.

"Sure," Chandler nodded. They went out together, everyone surrounding Joey and taking turns hugging him. Joey had to admit, he had a great bunch of friends.

 **Later**

"You guys are the best," Joey said. It was just Phoebe left now. They had come back to his apartment and feasted on pizza while telling stories about their childhoods. Phoebe was feeling warmer and more comfortable sitting there beside Joey. She wasn't the only one who had a beer too many. Joey was feeling good too.

"We care about you," Phoebe replied.

"I appreciate you," Joey said. They sat there looking at each other. Phoebe wondered what he was thinking. He was looking at her intensely.

"Are you going to ask Chandler if you can move back?" she asked, changing the subject.

"I will."

"Good," she said. The silence was deafening almost.

"You ever think there's a person out there for you that's waiting to be found?" Joey asked. Phoebe's heart fluttered. Why was he asking this?

"Uh huh," she replied.

"I thought I had that with Sidney, but she turned out to be like all the other girls," Joey said. His guard was way down. He wasn't sure why he was even talking to Phoebe about this.

"She was a bitch," Phoebe agreed, nodding.

"I just wish I could trust, you know? Why is that so hard?"

"Because trust equals being vulnerable," she reasoned. "Being vulnerable equals being exposed to potential hurt."

"Do you trust?" Joey asked. He found himself leaning closer to her as the conversation deepened.

"Not as much as I should," she whispered. He looked at her still.

"Maybe we're supposed to be together," he said softly.

"I...I dunno," she stammered. Was he really saying this right now? Should she pinch herself? Was it a dream?

"You have a pretty nose," he said, touching it softly. She shivered.

"Uh huh," she nodded. Then he was kissing her. It was incredible and breathtaking and intense all in one. Phoebe felt it was much better than before, and this time he knew it was her. The kiss intensified, and Phoebe wondered if they were going to actually go all the way tonight. Then suddenly, Joey stopped.

"Oh my God," he said, clutching his head. "What am I doing? Phoebs, I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. I'm...I'm messed up, and I took it all out on you. I got confused. I should have never..."

"It's okay," Phoebe cut him off. His words sliced her like a knife deep into her core. Of course he wouldn't mean it. Of course he was just upset. She should have known better.

"No, it's not okay," Joey said. "I...I didn't meant to hurt you."

"You didn't," she replied. "We're drunk! It happened. It's fine. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" he asked as she stood up.

"Yes! Yea. I'm a friend helping a friend. Nothing more. I gotta go," she said. Joey tried to call out to stop her, but she ignored him. He sat there feeling horrified with himself, but the hardest part was, he had really loved kissing her.

 **The Next Day**

"Oh, sweet Lord," Chandler was saying. He was at Monica's after having been woken up by Eddie staring at him last night. "He is getting creepier and creepier. Last week, he said I slept with his ex and killed his fish! The guy has lost his marbles, if he had any to start with."

"So he's eccentric," Monica shrugged.

"Nahuh nahuh! Not just eccentric. He's serial killer eccentric! He has gone on a fruit dehydrating rampage! He had a goldfish cracker as our fish. He doesn't remember me asking him to move out! He's insane!" Chandler shouted, getting worked up again.

"Okay, calm down," Monica said. "We'll get him out. Joey needs a place to stay, so just pretend he never left. Use Eddie's game against himself."

"You are brilliant," Chandler said. "I could just kiss you!"  
"Well, don't," Monica said, blushing.

"Right. Richard," Chandler replied. "I'm off!" He ran out the door, excited with his new plan.

"Chandler," Phoebe said, catching him in the hall. "I need to talk to you."

"Not now, Phoebs, I gotta get Joey," Chandler said.

"It's about Joey," she finished. He halted in his tracks.

"Oh? Did you tell him?"

"Not...not exactly, but we kissed last night..."

"You kissed?!" Chandler yelped. "What?!"

"He started it. He was so down and lonely and upset, and then he took it back. He said he made a mistake. Chandler, what am I going to do?!" she asked, getting hysterical.

"Okay, okay, breathe," Chandler said. "Breathe. We'll figure it out."

"He's looking for me," she said. "He wants to talk. What do I even say? We were practically drunk!"

"Just...hear him out. Maybe you should just tell him," Chandler suggested.

"No way! Not after that. He made it clear kissing me was a mistake. I will not jeopardize our friendship."

"Will there be a friendship if you are stuck in love with him and he's not aware?" Chandler asked. "Think about it."

"You're not helping," Phoebe complained.

"Okay look, just talk to him. I have to get Eddie out of my apartment first though," Chandler said. He took off, leaving Phoebe standing there feeling despair.

 **Later**

Joey and Chandler reveled in their victory. Eddie was gone for good. While Chandler was dancing around the apartment, Joey slipped out to find Phoebe. He had been trying to talk to her all day, but she was avoiding him. He felt badly for hurting her. He had no idea what had come over him last night. He went to the cafe, and luckily, there she was.

"Phoebs," he said, sitting beside her. She made to get up. "Don't go! I need to talk to you."

"If it's about last night, don't worry about it," she replied.

"It is, but I am worried about it. You're my best friend. I had no right to do that and then take it back. I just want to make sure you're okay. I don't want to lose you," Joey finished. Phoebe looked at him seriously.

"Joey, I'm fine. I get it. You were vulnerable and I was comforting to you, so you went with it. I appreciate that you stopped it before you got into things further and then decided to take it back. That would have hurt even worse. You made a mistake. I forgive you. I was just as vulnerable as you. We didn't go all the way. Could you imagine if we had?" she asked, laughing. "How awkward!"

"I guess you're right in a way. I did stop before it got farther," Joey nodded, scratching his head. "I just feel bad I kissed you at all and stirred it up."

"You stirred nothing," Phoebe lied. "I promise."

"You're sure?" he asked.

"Yes! Now stop. We're just friends. Let's just move on, okay?" she suggested.

"Okay," he said.

"I have to get some things for my grandmother," she said. "I'll see you later okay?"

"Yea," Joey echoed. He watched her leave. Chandler came in just then.

"Dude! You abandoned the party! What are you doing?" Chandler asked.

"I had to talk to Phoebe," Joey said.

"Oh. That badly?"

"Yea. Chandler, I kissed her last night," Joey confessed. Chandler acted surprised.

"Really?" he asked, sitting down.

"Yea. Then I stopped it. I think I hurt her. She says she's fine, but I don't believe her," Joey sighed.

"If she says she's fine, then she's fine. She's Phoebe. She's tough," Chandler babbled. No way was he going to give away another crush.

"Here's the thing, Chandler," Joey said, sitting up straighter and leaning in closer. "I think I might possibly like Phoebe."

"Y-you what? What now? W-w-what?" Chandler spewed. Joey nodded seriously.

"What am I gonna do? She's not into me at all, she just said so. We're just friends. She said that. I can't bring it up now! Not after telling her I didn't mean the kiss," Joey groaned. Chandler stared at him in disbelief. Were his friends really that daft?

"Well, what do you think you should do?" Chandler asked.

"I should just leave it," Joey said. "This will pass. I think I like her because of that kiss. I was drunk. It was stupid. These feelings will go away."

"Oh my God," Chandler said. This was Phoebe's argument all over again but now it was with Joey. This was insane!

"I know! It's stupid. Thanks, man," Joey said, clapping his arm. "I can't tell her I like her then discover it was just something that wasn't real."

"Uh huh," Chandler said absently. Joey left him sitting there, and he felt like he was in some crazy movie where the plot just kept twisting and twisting and nobody went anywhere.

 **A Week Later**

"Old Yeller dies?" Phoebe asked in disbelief. "No! No way!" She turned away from the television, horrified.

"You didn't know?" Monica asked, stunned.

"No! Mom always turned the TV off right before...ohhhh," Phoebe said, getting it.

"Oh," Richard said. He looked at Monica.

"I don't believe this!" Phoebe shouted. She whirled around and fled.

"Should we go after her?" Rachel asked.

"I don't think so," Ross said. "She has been extra emotional lately, and she doesn't like answering me when I ask."

"Okay," Monica said, getting up. "That's enough tears for now."

"Hello people," Chandler said, entering the apartment. Joey was behind him. "We have a dilemma."

"Two times two equals four because that's just the way it is," Monica said seriously. Chandler gave her a look.

"Not that dilemma," Joey said. Monica looked at him in a "you're kidding, right?" kind of way.

"Yea, we have an extra ticket to the Knicks, and it's between the poker and the killer breath," Joey finished.

"Take Richard," Monica answered. "He loves the Knicks."

"Oohh," Joey said. Chandler refrained from answering. Take Richard? Spend time with the guy he hated cos he was dating the girl he liked?

"What?" Monica asked.

"I dunno. It's just, what if you guys break up and we're still friends with him?" Joey asked.

"We aren't breaking up," Monica retorted. "Why would we break up?"

"Right. Look, we'll get back to you on that," Joey said.

"He has a Jag. He might take you in it," Monica said, looking at her nails.

"What do we do?" Joey asked Chandler in a whisper.

"Oh I don't know. If we ask now, it'll look like we want to just ride in the cool car," Chandler replied.

"Got it," Joey said. He turned to Monica. "We'll take him if he takes us in the car."

"Idiot," Chandler muttered.

 **Ross & Rachel**

Rachel felt like the cafe was muffled. She had just heard Ross explain to her how he had their whole life planned out. She was waiting for herself to freak out, but oddly enough, it wasn't happening.

"Rach? Hello? You in there?" Ross asked. She snapped back to reality.

"Y-yea. Wow, Ross you...you certainly have...thought all this out," Rachel stuttered.

"I'm sorry. I think about this kind of stuff," Ross said.

"You sure did."

"Are you okay?"

"Yea. I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine," Ross pointed out. He took Ben back from her gently.

"I am. I really am. I'm waiting to freak out, and it's not coming. You really see us in the future?" she asked, curious.  
"Yea. I mean, of course not for a while yet, but I mean, it's you. And me. It's us. I love you," Ross said.

"Oh, Ross," Rachel said, covering her face with her hands.

"What?" he asked.

"That's the first time you've said that to me," she pointed out.

"Huh," Ross said.

"I love you too," she said. "I do. And yes, I want a future with you someday. I want to take our time getting there, though, because I left Barry for planning out our whole life without my input."

"You will certainly have input," Ross said. She kissed him gently.

"I'm glad," she said. Ben tugged at her hair, giggling. She laughed. It had been hard for a while being around Ben without thinking about her lost baby, but it was slowly getting better. There were still days where she would break down thinking about it, but they were fewer than before. She thought of her baby every day, though. That wouldn't change. She looked at Ross, and she knew that she would definitely try again for a baby with him because this time it would be planned, and they would be together.

 **Phoebe**

Being around Joey was harder now. She refrained from being with the group as much as possible. She avoided Joey altogether. If he thought she wasn't fine, let him. She really wasn't. She spent most of her time crying. Now she was watching all the movies her mother shut off, and it was making her even more depressed. There was a knock on her door, and she hesitated to answer.

"It's me," Chandler said.

"It's open," she replied. He came in and went over to sit beside her.

"I can't believe it. Bambi's mother dies. This sucks," Phoebe said, tossing the remote onto the floor.

"Are you okay?" Chandler asked. "Since Joey's...incident?"

"No, Chandler. I'm not okay. Do you know what it's like to pine after someone for almost a year and then have them blow you off?"

"I do, actually, but that's not the point," Chandler said.

"You didn't get to kiss Monica," Phoebe pointed out. "So you don't really know."

"Okay fine," Chandler said. "Moving on. What are you gonna do?" He felt bad. He knew that Joey was experiencing feelings for Phoebe, but until he knew Joey was serious, he didn't want to tell her and get her hopes up. He only hoped that Joey would eventually tell her himself.

"I know I have to figure this out," Phoebe said. "I just can't right now."

"Well, we're all worried about you," Chandler replied.

"Thanks," Phoebe said, giving a rueful smile. She appreciated her friends. She just didn't want to be around Joey right now. It was too hard. When Chandler left, she put in another movie. She needed the distraction desperately, and hating her mother for ruining her childhood was a good place to start.

 **Thanks for reading!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you for following/favoriting, reading, and reviewing! It's much appreciated.**

"I've decided I want to see my father," Phoebe announced to the group at Monica's a week later. "My birth father."

"Oh?" Chandler asked. He remembered how well that went last time.

"Yea. I just...there's been too many signs you know?" she explained.

"Like what?" Ross asked.

"You wouldn't get it," she dismissed. She knew they wouldn't. She was saving herself the embarrassment. Monica was staring at the TV screen intently.

"Watcha watching?" Joey asked, noticing.

"Stocks," Monica said. "My initials are a stock. MEG."

"That's...nice," Joey frowned. He wasn't sure what the significance of that was.

"You need a job, Mon," Ross said.

"I know! I know," she replied.

"Do you want me to come with you, Phoebs?" Joey asked, ignoring the others. Phoebe wasn't sure. She hadn't been alone with Joey since their kiss two weeks ago. She didn't know if she wanted to be alone with him ever again.

"Chandler is going with me," Phoebe announced, making Chandler's head pop up from the fridge.

"Chandler is playing tennis with Ross," Chandler reiterated. Ross shot him a grateful look.

"Oh," Phoebe said. She was panicking now.

"I'll come," Rachel offered. She didn't want to watch tennis anyway.

"Okay!" Phoebe exclaimed, excited. "Let's go!" She went to grab her coat with Rachel following. Joey tagged along as well.

"What?" he asked when Phoebe saw him.

"I didn't realize you were still coming," she replied.

"Hey, I was there in the beginning. I wanna see it through," he grinned.

"Whatever," Phoebe shrugged. At least Rachel was there with her. Phoebe surged ahead down the stairs, but Joey ran into his apartment quickly, making Rachel linger and wait for him.

"What are those for?" she asked, seeing the pillows in his hands.

"You'll see," he answered.

 **Chandler & Ross**

"That guy just took my hat," Chandler said, stunned. The bullies walked out the front door laughing to each other.

"He sure did," Ross agreed.

"I thought bullies ceased to exist when we became adults?" Chandler asked.

"There's always bullies, Chandler," Ross pointed out.

"Maybe, but they're not as childish," Chandler retorted.

"We should have gone to tennis," Ross lamented.

"You think?!" Chandler scoffed. He was feeling like a big loser now. If he couldn't even stand up for himself, then how could he ever stand up for anyone, say Monica? He was still sore about the whole Richard thing.

"Man, I wish Monica was here," Ross sighed.

"What? Why?" Chandler asked, panicking. Had he said something out loud by accident?

"She wouldn't have taken that guy's crap," Ross answered. Chandler relaxed. Of course she wouldn't have. That's what made her so great.

 **Monica**

"So, I'm doing it," Monica said on the phone.

"You really think that's a good idea?" Richard asked. He himself wasn't a big fan of the stock market.

"It's all I've got right now," Monica told him. "I am NOT going to work at that stupid 50s diner. No way. It's humiliating."

"How about I just loan you some money?" Richard suggested.

"No! I'm not taking money from my boyfriend either," Monica replied. "I'm a big girl. I can look after myself."

"All righty," Richard sighed. He hoped she knew what she was doing. They hung up, and Monica stood there reveling in her own daredevilness. It was time to hit the stocks!

 **Phoebe/Joey/Rachel**

When Phoebe slammed on the brakes and sent Joey and Rachel into the glass, Rachel gave Joey a grateful look.

"Told you," he smirked, putting his pillow back onto his lap.

"Okay," Phoebe said. "Here we go." She got out and headed to the front door.

"What the hell is that smell?" Rachel asked. She looked to see Joey holding a sandwich. "When did you get that?"

"I'm just that good," Joey replied. "And it's olive bread with ham spread. No mayo."

"Yea, cos that would be just gross," Rachel said sarcastically. Her stomach was trying to heave just from the odor.

"Oh no! No, no!" Phoebe was shouting as she ran back to the car. A little white dog was barking and chasing her. She jumped into the cab, panicking.

"That thing again, huh?" Joey asked. He remembered it from their last visit.

"I think this is a sign too," Phoebe said.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.

"Beast at the threshold!" Phoebe shouted. The dog kept jumping up and down.

"Here," Rachel said, taking Joey's sandwich and tossing it out the window.

"Hey!" Joey cried, indignant.

"Get the sandwich!" Rachel shouted to the dog. "Get the sandwich! Joey, the dog won't even touch your sandwich." She turned to look at him.

"You wasted a perfectly good sandwich," Joey said. "Over a dog. A little dog. It can't be that bad." He turned to get out and retrieve his sandwich, but the dog was sitting in his window, which made him shout in fright.

"See?" Phoebe asked. "This is a sign."

"Uh huh," Joey said. He started rolling up his window, making the dog jump down. "We can come back."

"I think I will," Phoebe said. "This isn't working." She threw the car in gear and set off, but the yelp and thud that followed made her slam her brakes again. This time, Joey and Rachel weren't so fortunate, and they banged their heads off the glass.

"Ouch!" Rachel cried, rubbing her head.

"I think the threshold is clear now," Joey offered. Phoebe felt sick. She had hurt a little dog! A vicious one at that, but still! She went out and collected it, putting it in the cab with Joey and Rachel.

"Ah! Phoebs!" Joey exclaimed, trying to get away from the dog.

"Relax, he's unconscious," Phoebe scoffed.

"You say that, but you're up there. We're back here with it," Joey muttered. Phoebe ignored him and drove to the vet. She dropped them off on they way.

 **Later**

"You know, I think we can do this," Chandler said, handing Ross a mug. "Coffee at home is just as good." They had had another run in with the bullies, and this time they were told to not return if they didn't want trouble.

"Why isn't it blending in with the water?" Ross asked, looking into his mug.

"Stir and drink, stir and drink!" Chandler called. They ended up with it all over themselves.

"This sucks," Ross said, trying to wipe it off. "We shouldn't be so afraid of getting a coffee."

"You're right," Chandler said, getting up. "We are not afraid!"

"Do you need me to go with you ladies?" Joey asked, coming out of his room. He had heard about the bullies earlier from Monica when she had ran into him in the hall. She was frantic for money, but Joey didn't have any for her.

"No. No! We are men. We can take care of ourselves!" Chandler said, his voicing getting high and squeaky. "Let's go!" Ross jumped up and followed him out, both eager to face their bullies. Joey just shook his head. It was too bad he couldn't watch.

 **Rachel & Monica**

"I need a hundred bucks," Monica said as soon as Rachel entered the apartment.

"And hello to you too," Rachel said.

"Hi, sweetie," Monica threw in. "About that hundred bucks?"

"Mon, I don't have it. I'm so sorry," Rachel apologized. "What do you need it for?"

"I lost it all," Monica confessed. "I need to get back into the game!"

"Mon, this isn't such a good idea," Rachel said. Monica teared up.

"I know! But it's so much better than dressing up like an old lady with fake boobs and working at a diner where they make you dance!" Monica cried.

"Have you talked to Richard?" Rachel suggested.

"I'm not taking money from him!" Monica replied sharply.

"All right," Rachel said, holding her hands up. "Relax."

"I'm sorry. I'm just..." Monica trailed off. She couldn't finish that sentence. There were no words to describe how she was feeling anyway.

"It's okay," Rachel soothed. "You'll figure something out. I know it." She went into her room, leaving Monica standing there knowing exactly what she had to do and hating herself for it.

 **Chandler & Ross**

It was down to this, fighting in the street like dogs. Chandler was freaking out so bad right now, and from the look on Ross' face, he was too. They had set the ground rules, and now they were dancing around each other like boxers in a ring. Then, someone stole the hat with all their belongings in it.

"Hey!" Ross shouted after the guy. They all bolted after him. They caught up to him easily, and the guy didn't even know what hit him as all four of them crashed into him and tackled him down. Ross grabbed the hat with the stuff and jumped up out of the way. He shouted to Chandler that he could stop hitting the guy, but he didn't know if Chandler could even hear him.

"Truce! Truce!" the poor guy was shouting, holding his arms over his head. Chandler stopped then.

"We're done here," the one bully said. They all walked back to the Perk.

"You were amazing," the other bully said to Chandler.

"Yea, Chandler," Ross said, admiration in his voice.

"So I can fight," Chandler scoffed. "Big deal." They all sat down in the cafe talking about the incident. Chandler went for his hat as it was his hat after all damn it, and he was getting it back. He managed to yank it off the one bully's head and tried to bolt out the door, but he fell face first instead. Everyone laughed, but Chandler still got up and ran for his life in case the bully tried to steal it again. The hat was special to him. Monica had given it to him for a birthday gift one year. Every time he wore it, it was like she was with him. No bully was going to have Monica on their head. Huffing and puffing, he arrived at his apartment. He noticed Monica leaving hers and looking depressed.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Nothing," she replied. "Got your hat back I see."

"Sure did. No bully is tougher than me," he joked.

"Good to know," Monica smiled half-heartedly. She waved goodbye and headed off to start her new job.

 **Phoebe**

"So, could I call you sometime?" Frank Jr. asked. Phoebe felt a strange feeling stir within her. This was her half-brother. She had a half-brother! It was all so exciting.

"Yes! Yes, you can," she replied.

"Cool," Frank Jr. said, laughing nervously. "Hey, you wanna see where Dad banged his head off the gutter while he was walking on his stilts?"

"I would love that," Phoebe nodded. She followed him. Even though she didn't gain a father, she gained something better, and she intended on investing in this relationship. Something came to her mind as they were walking around the house.

"Hey, you dropped the condom in my guitar case that time and came back for it," she said suddenly. Frank paused, looking at her closely.

"Oh yea!" he laughed. "Yea, that was me. You play really good music."

"Cool! And thanks!" She dropped the subject, sensing he was embarrassed by the incident. Still, it was nice having a connection from the past.

 **A Week Later**

"Joey! Would you stop staring! They are fake, see?" Monica said, showing him. "Honk! Honk!"

"When did we get on the street?" Chandler asked, feigning surprise. Monica gave him a look.

"I think it's hot," Richard said. He had shown up after the gang had arrived. Rachel was at work, and Monica took this opportunity to talk about the birthday party she was going to throw for Rachel. She ignored Richard's comment.

"Let's just do pizza and beer," Ross suggested. "She might not like big and fancy."

"Okay, then I'm out," Monica said. "Throw the party yourself."

"It'll be fine," Phoebe said. "I'll help." Monica cringed inside. Phoebe wasn't exactly the best person to help with such a thing.

"I have to get to work," Richard said, kissing her. "I'll see you tonight."

"Okay," Monica said, smiling. Chandler faked a hurling sound. She looked over at him.

"Oh sorry. Something caught in my throat," he said. He made the noise again to prove his point. She just rolled her eyes. She left their table to get back to work.

 **That night-Monica's**

"Okay people!" Monica called "Almost show time!" There was a banging at the door, and Richard answered.

"Hello," Dr. Green said, coming in. Monica panicked.

"Wha-what are you doing here?" she asked.

"Can't a father see his daughter on her birthday?" Dr. Green asked. "Ohhh you're having a parteee!"

"Um, yes, but not really," Monica replied. Dr. Green gave her a confused look.

"This is the staging area," Phoebe chimed in, trying to help.

"Yes, the real party is across the hall," Joey threw in. Chandler gave him a "what the hell are you doing?" look, which Joey chose to ignore.

"Okay," Dr. Green said. "Do I leave my coat here or over there?"

"Here," Monica said.

"There," Chandler said at the same time. Dr. Green looked at them both warily.

"Here is fine," Joey said, taking over. He led Dr. Green into Rachel's room.

"Wow what a conundrum," Richard commented. The door knocked again, and he opened it to find Mrs. Green standing there smiling.

"Hello!" she said.

"No!" Monica shouted, slamming the door on her. Richard turned to look at her.

"Now I know I am a little older than you and may have had different teachings, but I don't think that's the proper way to greet a guest," he teased.

"Oh my God! What are we gonna do?" Monica hissed.

"I've got this," Phoebe said. Joey looked out and caught her frantic gestures. Phoebe let Sandra in, apologizing.

"We thought you were Rachel," Phoebe explained.

"Really?" Sandra asked.

"Yes! Because you look so young," Monica added. Sandra blushed.

"Oh, you kids," she said.

"Oh! I need you to see something," Phoebe said to Sandra, pulling her along. "We'll be gal pals. It'll be so much fun!" She shut Sandra into the bathroom with her, and Joey popped out with Dr. Green.

"Away we go," Chandler said, following them out. Dr. Green looked at the Happy Birthday sign over the door questioningly, and Chandler yanked it off on his way by.

"That's clearly on the wrong door," he joked. He tacked it on over their door instead. He wondered how the hell they were going to pull this one off.

 **Later**

Ross walked up the stairs with Rachel leaning on him. They had had a lovely dinner, and Ross was feeling that everything in the world was going to be all right.

"Thank you," Rachel said sincerely. "It was so nice."

"You're welcome," Ross replied. They had reached Monica's door. Rachel figured there was some kind of surprise behind the door, but she didn't want to ruin their hard work. Sure enough, when they entered, everyone shouted "Surprise!" at her. What surprised her the most was her mother standing there.

"Mom!" she cried, giving her a hug.

"Okay, now go across the hall," Monica said. Ross looked at her.

"What?" he asked.

"Just do it," she ordered.

"Okay," he said, confused. They walked over to Joey and Chandler's apartment where another "Surprise!" was thrown at them. Rachel saw her father standing there and immediately knew what was going on.

"Daddy!" she cried, hugging him. She looked at Ross, who shrugged and mouthed "I have no idea."

 **Later Still**

Rachel was sitting in the hallway alone. It was so overwhelming. Her parents weren't even in the same room, and they were still complaining about one another. She barely registered that Phoebe was sneaking people out of Monica's party and into Chandler's. It wasn't until Chandler popped out into the hallway that he noticed her sitting there.

"Tough night huh?" he asked, plopping down beside her.

"How did you do it?" she asked.

"Well, there was lots of bed wetting involved..." Chandler trailed off.

"This is going to be my future," Rachel went on. "Christmas. Thanksgiving. Birthdays. I can't do this."

"It's hard, but you will get through it," Chandler reassured her, patting her shoulder. Ross came out then, and Chandler stood to let him take his place.

"I'm sorry," Ross said, putting his arm around her. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"I don't know what to do," she confessed.

"You can't let yourself get stuck in the middle," Ross said. "They're adults. They will figure out how to be around each other."

"Promise me something," Rachel said suddenly.

"Anything," he answered.

"If anything happens to us, please, can we agree to get along around everybody else?" she asked.

"I will agree, but I don't think anything is going to happen to us," Ross told her.

"How can you promise that?" she questioned.

"It's just a feeling," Ross replied. She didn't question it further. With Ross, she just trusted whatever he said. Maybe it was irrational, but he made her feel so safe.

 **Monica**

"I can't believe people are leaving," Monica said to Richard. "Is my party that bad?"

"No," Richard said, shaking his head. He himself had just snuck back in from Chandler's party. He hoped she wouldn't find that out.

"Thanks again, darling," Sandra said, hugging Monica. "Most fun I've had in years."

"Really?" Monica asked.

"Yes." They walked her out into the hall where Rachel stood and gave her mother a hug as well.

"Here we go," Joey said, coming out of the apartment. "Ahhhh."

"Yippee wahoo!" Chandler started shouting, jumping up and down while blocking Dr. Green from sight. Joey caught on and mimicked him while Richard did his best to stand in front of Sandra. Joey hung back in the hall, letting Chandler go with Dr. Green. Rachel went inside to say goodbye to her father.

"Lovely party, baby," he said to her. She smiled. When he went out the door, he missed Joey grabbing Sandra and kissing her. Rachel held her face in fear until he was out of sight.

"Well," Sandra said, blushing. "Good night."

"Nice one," Richard said to Joey, high fiving him. Monica sighed in relief. It was finally over.

 **A Week Later**

"So, are you going to tell Joey how you feel?" Chandler asked Phoebe. They were at the Perk together.

"Nope," Phoebe replied.

"Why not?"

"Because. We're better off as friends," she explained.

"Hardly," Chandler scoffed. He was still holding on to the fact that Joey had feelings for Phoebe now. He had been paying attention, and he noticed that Joey always tried to sit beside her or be alone with her in some way. How did she not see it?

"Doesn't matter. Ryan is coming," Phoebe said. "For two weeks!"

"Ryan?"

"Yes," Phoebe nodded.

"Submarine guy?"

"Yes!"

"Oh no. No, no," Chandler said. "You can't."

"Why not?"

"Uhhhh..."

"Hey guys!" Joey said, coming up to them.

"Hello and goodbye," Phoebe said. "I have to meet Ryan."

"Oh...okay," Joey said, watching her go with a hint of disappointment on his face.

"So, how's the whole liking Phoebe thing going?" Chandler asked nonchalantly.

"I really thought it'd go away," Joey said. "But it's not. Who's Ryan?"

"No idea," Chandler lied. He knew who Ryan was. He didn't want to bring it up.

"Hey guys," Ross said. "Just letting you know that Ben has chicken pox, so if you haven't had it, then look out."

"Had it," Joey replied.

"Me too," Chandler added.

"Good. Carol is thinking of throwing a pox party," Ross said. "Can you believe we do that?"

"Don't invite me," Joey said. "I don't want to get it again." Chandler and Ross both looked at him.

"Hi, honey," Rachel said, coming over and kissing Ross. "Ben has the pox, huh?"

"Yea."

"That's too bad."

"What is the deal with Ryan? Does Phoebe love him?" Joey asked Chandler, ignoring those two. Rachel gave Ross a questioning look, and he just shrugged.

"I don't know. Stop drilling me!" Chandler shouted, jumping up and running out.

"What's with him?" Joey asked them.

"I dunno. What's with you?" Ross asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You're asking if Phoebe loves Ryan," Ross replied.

"Oh. No reason," Joey lied. He looked at his watch. "Oohh look at the time. I gotta go." He left in a hurry as well.

"There's something funny going on here," Rachel mused. Ross nodded in agreement. Something funny going on indeed.

 **The next chapter is going to be a cliffhanger. I'm just gonna apologize in advance...Keep on reading and reviewing!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you all for the reviews! I was excited to post this chapter, so that's why it's a bit earlier than a week.**

* * *

"I can't believe I got chicken pox!" Phoebe shouted. She had rushed over to Monica's upon the first itchy red dot she'd seen on her arm. The rest of the dots just spread like wildfire, and she panicked. She had called Ryan and told him she couldn't make it to pick him up and gave directions to Monica's. Her grandmother had never had chicken pox, and she wasn't about to give it to her.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," Monica said.

"Do you think he'll care that I look like this?" Phoebe asked.

"Honey, he's been underwater for a very long time. I don't think he'll care," Monica soothed. She finished dolling Phoebe up and left so she wouldn't be there when Ryan arrived. She went over to Richard's place. She had been able to share her quirks with him, and since he seemed to love her more for them, she was eager to share more. The only disappointing thing was Richard had no quirks. He was too normal.

"I really am trying to figure out my quirks," Richard promised her while they were eating dinner together.

"If you have to look that hard for them, then I doubt you have any," Monica sighed.

"Oh!" he said suddenly. "Here's one. I have to have my fork on the left hand side of my plate before I start eating."

"That's the proper way to set the table," Monica replied.

"You're just too intuitive for this," Richard said. "Throw me a bone here!" He laughed.

"I'm sorry. That's another one of my quirks," Monica laughed nervously. He patted her hand reassuringly.

"We will find something," he told her. Monica was pretty sure they wouldn't, but she let it go.

 **Phoebe**

Of course the lightning and thunder had to go off the same time she revealed her face. Something had to accentuate her ugliness. The fact that Ryan had screamed was interesting. Wasn't he supposed to be used to frightening situations?

"I'm sorry," Ryan said, holding his chest. "I am. So sorry. That was such an unfortunate coincidence."

"It's okay," she replied. He came closer to her. "I'm sorry I'm so hideous."

"I've been eight months in a steel tube with nothing but other men, so I'm not gonna let some itchy spots keep me from being with you," Ryan said, grabbing her and kissing her.

"Wow," Phoebe said after. "This disease is so romantic!" Any thoughts of Joey were long gone once Ryan kissed her again. She considered that progress.

 **Ross**

He wondered if it was too soon. They had only been dating for about eight months, but he knew Rachel was the one for him forever. He was standing over the glass case, looking at all the rings. They could always have a long engagement. He didn't want to rush things, but then again, he didn't want to miss his chance either.

"Can I help you?" the lady behind the glass counter asked.

"Um, I don't know," Ross said honestly.

"Not sure what style she'll like?" the lady asked sympathetically.

"No, it's not that. I just don't know if it's too soon," Ross told her.

"How long have you been dating?"

"Six months," he replied.

"I've seen couples here after six weeks," the lady said. "I think it depends on the relationship and the people within it. Have you talked about a future together?"

"A couple of times," Ross answered. Rachel had seemed open to the idea of spending forever with him, not that she vocalized it much.

"Are you in love?"

"So in love," Ross replied.

"I think it's up to your judgment," the lady said. "You can always try. If she says no, then wait a little longer and try again."

"You know what? You're right," Ross said. He pointed to the ring that had caught his eye from the beginning. "I'll take that one."

"Excellent choice," the lady smiled.

"You say that to everyone don't you?" Ross asked. She just kept her smile on her face, not giving anything away.

 **Rachel-A Few Days Later**

"Hey! Stop that right now!" Rachel shouted, seeing Phoebe and Ryan scratching each other in earnest.

"But it feels so good!" Phoebe protested.

"I want five feet between you two at all times," Rachel ordered. They obeyed glumly. Maybe she could be a mom, she mused.

"Hey," Ross said, entering. "Uh oh. Were Itchy and Scratchy at it again?"

"Yes. With dice of all things!" Rachel said, pointing.

"You know, I expected this from Phoebe," Ross said. "But you, Ryan, you're a military man." Ryan hung his head.

"I'm ready to go," Rachel said, giving Ross a quick peck.

"Great. Cab's waiting," he answered. He gave Phoebe and Ryan the "I'm watching you" gesture. Phoebe stuck out her tongue at him. Once they were in the cab, Ross felt nervous. He had been hanging onto the ring for the past few days, and he wasn't sure when the right time would be to give it to her. Then he got an idea.

"So this couple I know just got engaged," Ross said casually. "After only a few months of dating."

"Really?" Rachel asked. "That's awfully fast of them."

"You think so?" Ross questioned.

"Yes. I mean, wouldn't you want to know for sure you're with the right person? Get to know them better? I don't think jumping into a marriage is a good idea," she finished. Ross felt his stomach drop. There was his answer. She would most definitely turn him down if he asked her right now.

"I think they're going to have a long engagement though," he tried.

"See, if I got engaged, I'd have the wedding within six months," Rachel said. "But that's because I'd have spent time with the other person and know for sure he was the one. Ross, are you okay?" She frowned, noticing he was sweating profusely.

"I'm fine," he replied. "Gosh it's hot in here." He lowered the window and stuck his head out for some air. There was no point in asking her. He'd only end up rejected.

"So where are we going?" Rachel asked him once he had brought his head back inside.

"To a nice restaurant for a nice dinner," he answered. She snuggled up against him. He was thinking about how he needed to catch the violinists before they bombarded his table.

 **Later**

"This'll make you stop," Monica said, taping oven mitts onto Phoebe and Ryan's hands. Joey was watching, amused.

"Looks like some lame puppet show," he commented.

"Guess which finger I'm holding up," Phoebe snarked at him.

"Oohh touchy," Joey said.

"Joey, go away," Monica sighed.

"Fine. I know where I'm not wanted," Joey said, leaving, but not before he snagged the leftovers from Monica's fridge. It bugged him to see Phoebe with Ryan. He headed over to his apartment where Chandler was typing on his computer.

"Hello, Joseph," Chandler said sarcastically, looking over his computer. "Thanks to you, I've got to work all weekend to get these numbers finished."

"Joseph does things by the book," Joey said seriously. He had been working with Chandler as a processor, and it turned out he rather enjoyed creating a whole different life for himself.

"Joseph's gonna get fired," Chandler muttered. He really hated the suck up personality Joey had created for said Joseph.

"What's that now?" Joey asked, cupping his hand to his ear.

"Joseph is gonna get tired from helping Chandler do these numbers," Chandler rephrased.

"Joseph doesn't work on weekends," Joey replied, going to his room. Chandler wanted to chuck his computer at the guy. He had an entire fake life, and what was worse, he believed it was real! Joseph was gonna get a big wake up call, oh yes he was.

 **Monica & Richard**

"I got it!" Richard said excitedly. "I have to sleep on this side of the bed." He gestured to her. Monica looked at him.

"No, it's cos I have to sleep on this side of the bed," she replied. "Everyone has a side of the bed they like better."

"Hear me out," Richard said, leaning on his arm. "I have to sleep on the west side cos I grew up in California, and if I slept on the right side, the ocean would be on the wrong side." Monica sat up, getting excited.

"You're a freak!" she exclaimed.

"Yea. How 'bout that," he smiled. She kissed him passionately. It made her unbelievably happy that he finally had a quirk.

 **Phoebe-A Week Later**

"I'm so sorry we spent two weeks together sick," Phoebe apologized. Ryan shrugged.

"I wouldn't have had it any other way," he said. "I got to spend time with you, and that was what mattered." Phoebe blushed.

"I'll miss you," she said.

"And I you," Ryan smiled. They kissed goodbye, and Phoebe watched him leave. Joey came up beside her then as she was standing outside of the Perk.

"He's leaving huh," Joey commented. He was still sore from Chandler firing him and having an affair with his imaginary wife, Karen.

"Yup," Phoebe nodded.

"You really like him?"

"I do. I won't see him for a few years though," Phoebe said.

"That's too bad," Joey responded.

"Eh. You win some, you lose some," she shrugged. She turned to leave when Joey stopped her.

"You've been avoiding me," he said.

"I haven't. I've been sick," she replied.

"Before that, you were avoiding me," he corrected. "Why?"

"Because you made it super awkward by kissing me and then saying you didn't mean it. I was a little disoriented by the whole thing and needed time to get it straight," Phoebe answered.

"I thought you said we were good after that?" Joey asked, confused.

"We are. But I am still processing it," she confirmed.

"How long before it's processed?" he prodded.

"I don't know, Joey. I will tell you when I do," she promised. "Excuse me." She left to return home to her grandmother. She didn't want to think about Joey. She was finally feeling like she was moving on. She didn't need to replay the incident in her mind. There was no point.

 **A few days later**

"Did you go buy the same coat as Richard's?" Monica asked Ross. She was examining it.

"Nooo," Ross lied. Richard chuckled to himself. Because he was the "old guy" everyone was mimicking him. If he hadn't known any better, he believed Chandler and Joey had attempted mustaches a while back too.

"All of men's coats look the same. We're not picky like you girls," Richard replied, saving Ross from further rambling and digging his hole deeper. Monica sighed and piled it back on top of the other coats.

"You guys are so simple yet so complicated," she muttered.

"Are we going to see a movie tonight?" Rachel asked, coming out of the bathroom.

"We can," Ross nodded. He noticed Monica and Richard then. "Did you guys want to come?"

"Nah. We're good here," Monica replied. Richard agreed. Rachel ran to get her coat, knocking both coats off.

"Woops," she said, shoving them back.

"Now what would you say if I threw your coat on the ground and then crammed it like that?" Ross asked, taking the one off the top and putting it on.

"I wouldn't say anything because you wouldn't do that," Rachel smirked. Ross just laughed and they walked out together.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom and then maybe we could...you know," Richard said once they were gone.

"All right," Monica grinned. When he was gone, she jumped up and went to fix the coats. It had been driving her nuts all night, them being piled so _wrong_. She fixed them up when she heard a clattering sound on the floor. She bent down to retrieve what fell, and her heart stopped. She stared at it for what seemed like hours. It was a ring box. With shaky hands, she picked it up and opened it.

"Oh," she gasped, seeing the ring. Richard was going to propose! She was going to get engaged! She heard Richard moving in the bathroom, and she shoved it back into the pocket it fell from. She leaped over to the couch and tried to act nonchalant. Richard noticed immediately as soon as he exited the bathroom.

"You re-arranged my coat, didn't you?" he asked.

"Nooo," Monica lied, sounding like Ross.

"It's all right," Richard said, going over and scooping her up into his arms. "I still love you just the same." She spent the night half in the present and half in the future. She's be Mrs. Burke, the doctor's wife. Her mother would be thrilled, or at least, Monica hoped she would be. She couldn't wait to tell Rachel.

 **Chandler**

"What are you doing?" Joey asked. Chandler was furiously typing on his computer.

"Talking to a woman," Chandler replied. He'd given up on Monica. She had the big doctor now. There was no longer any hope for him to have a relationship with her.

"A cyber woman?" Joey asked. "Cool!"

"She's a real woman, Joe," Chandler snorted.

"I know," Joey said indignantly.

"You're hovering," Chandler noted.

"Yea. I'm nervous for my audition tomorrow," Joey told him.

"You'll be great," Chandler said absently. Joey knew he wasn't even paying attention to him. He left, giving up on any further conversation. Chandler stared at the computer screen. He was really enjoying getting to know this woman. He liked the whole computer aspect too. It saved him from further embarrassing himself. Surprisingly, Monica was not in the front and center part of his brain tonight. Maybe he could move on. If Phoebe could, then he certainly could try.

 **Richard-Later**

He was getting ready to leave when he put on the coat. It was a bit snug, but he didn't think anything of it. When he went outside to grab a smoke, that's when he noticed. He pulled out the ring box and stared at it. How did that get in there? Did Monica plant it in hopes that it would be a hint? It was a nice ring. He examined it thoroughly. Then he went to find his cigars, and they weren't there. After some shuffling around his pockets, he came to the proper conclusion: this wasn't his coat. Then he saw Ross and Rachel coming back from their movie.

"Ah," he murmured to himself. It all made sense now.

"Good night, Richard," Rachel said, going inside.

"Hey, Ross," Richard said. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure," Ross said. He told Rachel he'd be right up then went over to Richard.

"I hope you didn't need this tonight," Richard said, holding up the ring box.

"Oh my God!" Ross yelped. He took it from Richard gingerly.

"You got any cigars?" Richard asked. Ross felt around until he found one, and he handed it to Richard, knowing what had happened. They traded coats.

"Don't say anything to Monica," Ross begged. "Rachel told me earlier that she thinks people should date longer than six months before getting engaged. I can't give this to her yet."

"I won't," Richard promised. He patted Ross' shoulder and smiled as the kid took off. The whole thing made him think.

 **The Next Day**

"I am getting something wrong," Joey was saying. "Warren Beatty called me a bad kisser. That's like saying Mother Theresa is a bad mother. Would one of you girls prove me wrong?" Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica just stared at him. He really wanted Phoebe to pipe up and do it. She wasn't giving him an inch though. So much for his plan to kiss her again without her knowing what he was up to.

"I'm sure it's just because you were kissing a guy," Monica reassured him. "Maybe you were tense."

"Hmm. Ross?" Joey asked, turning to him.

"Over my dead body," Ross scoffed.

"Chandler?"

"I'll be hiding behind his dead body like it's a shield," Chandler replied.

"You guys suck," Joey said.

 **Later**

"For the love of God tell her she looks good," Ross begged the others. Rachel was about to come out wearing her maid of honor dress for Barry and Mindy's wedding. They all nodded. When she came out, Richard choked and started coughing. Monica clenched her jaw so tightly she felt almost broke a tooth. Joey couldn't help it. He sniggered.

"This is ridiculous!" Rachel cried. "I have to waltz around in this in front of 200 people and resemble something that gets drunk when you're nauseous!"

"Then don't go," Ross said. "I'm not sure why you're going in the first place."

"Because I promised Mindy," Rachel sighed. She flopped down in the chair.

"Hello children...whoa ho!" Chandler hooted, seeing Rachel. "When did you become the newest model for Barbie?"

"Oh stuff it," Rachel snapped.

"I just noticed," Phoebe said to Chandler, "that you're wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Did you get some last night?"

"No," Chandler replied.

"It's the cyber woman," Joey offered. Chandler shot him a dagger look.

"Oohh!" Monica cried. "Who is she? What does she look like?!"

"I haven't actually met her yet, but I really like her. I do. She caught on to my smarmy games and told me to get real, so I did," he shrugged. "I'm going to meet her soon."

"Good for you, man," Ross smiled. He was happy for his friend.

"Well, I'll see you all later," Richard said. "Time for work." He kissed Monica on his way by. Phoebe saw that Chandler had averted his gaze. Monica stared at the door longingly after he had left.

"Oh my boyfriend is ever so dreamy," Phoebe said to her. "I wonder what our wedding will be like?" Monica's head snapped up then, her attention back.

"I am not thinking that at all. We are living in the moment," she replied.

"You're too scared to ask?" Phoebe nodded knowingly.

"I'm terrified," Monica agreed. She didn't mention that she already knew about the ring Richard was going to give her. If he was that far ahead in planning their future, then why couldn't she bring it up to him?

 **Later**

Richard just told her she was in his future. He wanted her in his future! Monica was growing excited. Then she looked at Ben.

"So, we're in France," she said. "Is there a baby crawling around?"

"A baby?" Richard asked, sounding skeptical.

"Yea. You know. A mini Monichard," Monica laughed, trying to sound French. Richard cracked a smile, but only just.

"I love kids, I really do," he said. "I just don't want to be 70 years old when they go away to school and we finally get to have a life together."

"I see," Monica said. "Well, this is way, way into the future anyway. Like space shuttles around town future." She stopped talking then. Things had grown awkward between them. So he had the ring, but he didn't want any children. It made no sense to her at all.

 **Across the hall**

"If you're looking for your sheep, we don't have them," Chandler snorted, seeing Rachel in her dress complete with the hat. It made her look like Bo Peep.

"Oh ha, ha," Rachel scoffed.

"I think you look cute," Joey said, kissing her cheek. He turned and looked at Ross.

"You touch me, I will hurt you," Ross warned him.

"Okay, here we go," Rachel said, tugging on Ross' arm.

"Richard got us a cab," Monica said at the door. She saw Chandler on his computer.

"Richard's downstairs?" Joey asked. "I gotta go say goodbye." He took off. Monica charged right after him, knowing what he was trying to do.

"Good luck," Phoebe called after Rachel. She truly wished her friend the best in this situation. She turned to Chandler then and watched his screen.

"What does HH mean?"

"Holding hands," Chandler blushed.

"You're so cute! Hey, so does that mean you're over Monica?" Phoebe asked.

"Shhh!" Chandler said, looking over her shoulder for anyone who might be listening. "Yes, it does."

"Wow. So, how did you do that?" she asked.

"It just...happened," Chandler shrugged.

"I get it. I did the same thing," Phoebe nodded solemnly.

"Which impresses me very much. You were so into Joey," Chandler said.

"I don't think he can commit. He got so jumpy just after kissing me. He regretted it instantly," she said wistfully.

 _If only you knew_ , Chandler thought to himself. Joey had gone back and forth with the whole liking Phoebe thing, and for the moment, he was stuck on liking her still. Chandler wished they would have a proper conversation and get it out in the open. Being caught in the middle sucked like hell.

"You sure that's a woman you're talking to?" Phoebe asked.

"It is so a woman," Chandler replied, outraged.

"Ask her what type of birth control she's on," Phoebe suggested. Chandler typed it in. When the response came, he sat there, dazed.

"She's married," he breathed.

"Her husband is cheating on her," Phoebe added, reading the screen.

"She's married! What am I gonna do?" he asked. Joey came back in just then.

"I got this close," he gestured, "but Monica kneed me in the back..."

 **Barry & Mindy's Wedding**

"I have never been so humiliated in my life," Rachel hissed at Ross.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think shouting it out in front of everyone that your tushi was showing would help the situation," Ross said.

"I gotta get out of here," she said, getting up to leave.

"Oh! And there she goes," Barry said. "Who had 9:45?" Rachel froze on the spot. Ross was unsure of what to do next. Then she surprised him by going up to the microphone.

"You know what, I'm not gonna leave," she said. "Cos I promised myself I'd get through at least one of your weddings." The drummer made his noise with the cymbals in response. Then she started singing Copa Cabana, and everyone soon joined in. Monica, however, was sitting beside Richard and feeling the impending sense of doom coming closer and closer. Once Rachel was finished and everyone was slow dancing, Monica got up with Richard to dance. After a few moments, he spoke. He was saying all the right things that she wanted to hear. He'd have kids with her, if he had to. He'd do it all again, if he had to. If kids would make her happy, then he'd have to do it. He was looking at her expectantly, but she knew what she had to say.

"If you hadn't said 'if I have to' 17 times, I would be saying yes to you right now," she said. He clutched her harder, knowing where this was going. "I want to have a baby, but I want to have it with someone who wants to just as much. I'm so sorry."

"I love you," Richard said, holding her tightly.

"I know you do. So, now what?" she asked.

"We keep dancing," he said.

 **Chandler**

He was gonna do it. He was gonna meet his cyber woman. Phoebe had convinced him. Then she kept telling him what to do until they were both spinning in circles. He wasn't taking any of her advice. He was going before he chickened out. Monica briefly flashed across his mind, but it wasn't as sharp as before. That ship had sailed. It was time to board a new one.

 **Monica-Later**

Miserable and alone, Monica returned to her apartment. She felt like crying. She had lost Richard. This was too much to bear. She needed a friend. She went over to Joey and Chandler's, but no one was home. The door was unlocked, though, which was odd. She went inside, thinking maybe one of them was sleeping, but it was still and quiet. She saw the laptop open, and she went over to it. Now, Monica was not one to snoop on her friends (oh, who was she kidding. Of course she was!), but the temptation was great. She skimmed the conversation, seeing that the woman was married with a cheating husband. Surprised, Monica read on, seeing that Chandler was going to meet her. Monica chuckled to herself and shook her head. Chandler in a serious relationship. Now that she had to see. She clicked down the conversation, but just before she went to leave, something caught her eye. It was a document on his desktop with her name on it. Curious, she opened it. She started to read, then gasped.

 _Reasons to tell Monica how I feel: I'm crazy about her. She's amazing. She's my best friend. We'd have great sex._

 _Reasons not to tell Monica how I feel: I'm a loser. I can't commit. Babies terrify me. Marriage makes me feel like I'm suffocating. I'm not good enough for her._

What was this? What was this?!

"Oh my God!" Monica cried. "Oh my God!"

"What's oh my God?" Phoebe asked, peeking into the room. Monica looked up at her, pointing to the laptop. Phoebe came over and read the screen.

"Oh my God!" Phoebe shouted in an obvious tone that suggested it was not shocking news to her. Monica caught on to this quickly.

"Oh my God! You knew!" she shrieked.

"Yea, I knew!" Phoebe yelled back.

"Where is he?!" Monica asked, panicked.

"He's gone to meet his cyber woman. Monica, it's over. He moved on," Phoebe said, grabbing her friends arm before she could rush out.

"But...how could he...when did...why didn't you...?" Monica rambled.

"When you got with Richard, he decided to move on," Phoebe explained gently.

"Oh Chandler," Monica said sadly. "Oh God. That had to have hurt."

"It did, but he moved on. He did, Monica," Phoebe said firmly. Monica looked at her, wounded.

"Richard and I broke up," she said miserably.

"Oh my God!" Phoebe shouted. "Why didn't you say so! Let's go!" She grabbed Monica's hand and dragged her out the door. They had to catch Chandler before he met his cyber girl. By the time they got to the Perk, however, it was too late. Chandler was kissing the woman deeply and passionately. Monica felt tears well up in her eyes. She was really too late. This whole time he had had feelings for her, and she blew it. He was now with...

"Janice?!" Monica cried. Phoebe made a choking sound in her throat.

"Whaddya know?" she said.

"I...I can't do this. I gotta go home. My head is gonna explode," Monica moaned.

"Do you want company?" Phoebe asked.

"No. Thanks, Phoebs, but I need to be alone right now," Monica said. Phoebe gave her a hug before she left. Then she turned to watch Chandler and Janice reunite. How on earth was she gonna tell Chandler that Monica now knew about his feelings?

* * *

 **Cliffhanger! Sorry 'bout that. Tis a good place to end until I get the next chapter written ;) Thoughts?**


	13. Chapter 13

"Has she not slept at all?" Phoebe asked as Monica glided past them like a ghost to the bathroom, ignoring their hellos.

"It's been three days," Rachel whispered to her. Phoebe felt sick. It really was all too much for Monica to take. First losing Richard, then losing Chandler, without really realizing she had wanted Chandler in the first place. It would be so overwhelming.

"I don't know if she'll ever recover from this one," Ross said sadly. He hated seeing his sister so sad and depressed. He wished he could help her. He went back to his bowl of cereal. Phoebe wished she could tell them the other reason Monica was so upset. That reason was across the hall with Janice. Phoebe shuddered.

"Look what I found," Monica whimpered, coming into the kitchen and holding...

"Is that drain hair?" Rachel asked, worried.

"It's all I have left of him," Monica said. "This pile of gross, wet, drain hair. Yech!" She chucked it away, only to have it land in Ross's cereal. They all looked at it, and Ross felt like he was going to puke.

"Looks like a tiny drowning person," Phoebe noted. Ross gave her a look before dumping it down the drain.

"Honey, you need to get some sleep," Rachel said, rubbing Monica's back.

"I need some Richard," Monica replied. Or Chandler. But that was her secret. Her and Phoebe's. How was it possible to even miss someone she never really had feelings for in the first place? Or did she? She had no idea. She could hear Janice's howling laugh from across the hall, and it made her wince.

"They're not breaking up," Joey said, barging into the apartment. "Chandler and Janice. He didn't even blink!"

"They kind of are cute together," Rachel mused. Monica wanted to scream at her. Cute?! Janice was not cute. She was annoying and grating on the ears.

"This is Janice we're talking about here!" Joey yelped, echoing Monica's thoughts. "What are we gonna do?"

"I think, Joey, that we're just gonna have to accept that Janice makes Chandler happy," Ross said, his stomach finally not curdling anymore from the drain hair incident.

"No way," Joey argued. Monica was with Joey. Chandler deserved someone better than stupid Janice. But was she even the right person for Chandler? She'd never really thought about it, and now it was all she was thinking about aside from Richard. It was tearing her up inside. She also felt guilty for even thinking about Chandler when she still loved Richard. She went back to her bedroom amidst the calls of "Monica, no!" "Come on, Mon!" from the others. She just couldn't handle being around them right now.

 **Ross & Rachel-Evening**

"I feel so bad for Monica," Rachel said. They were at Ross's apartment because Rachel didn't want to rub it in that she still had a boyfriend and Monica didn't.

"She'll be okay," Ross said absently. He was doing some work to catch up. Rachel sidled up next to him and kissed his cheek, making him kiss the air in return while still working. This went on a couple more times before he put down his work and turned to face her.

"I'm sensing you want something from me," he joked. She smiled demurely.

"Do you still have that pilot outfit?" she asked.

"Damn, no I don't. I had to return it," Ross answered. He was kicking himself for not just buying it. They had really good sex when he wore it.

"Hmm. Well, that's okay," Rachel said. "Tell me about one of your fantasies instead."

"W-what?" Ross asked, not hearing her correctly. She wanted to know about his fantasies? He wasn't sure if he could tell her. It was almost embarrassing.

"Yea. Tell me. I'll do it," she winked. He gaped at her. She really did want to know. He readjusted himself on the bed and started clearing his throat constantly.

"Are you sure?" he asked, gulping.

"Yes! It's only fair," she laughed.

"Okay," he said. Here went nothing. "Well..."

 **The Next Day**

Trust Ross to have a fantasy about some science fiction film she could barely tolerate. Rachel had looked this up and discovered what he had been talking about. She could see the appeal, but she didn't know if she could pull it off for him. Phoebe entered the Perk then, and she turned to face her.

"Hey," Phoebe said.

"Hi," Rachel answered.

"You look weird," Phoebe noted.

"I'm just thinking about something Ross told me," Rachel said.

"Oohh tell me!" Phoebe said. It had to be better than the Richard/Chandler saga Monica had going on upstairs. She needed to hear something juicy after withstanding all that crying.

"Okay. There's this scene on Star Wars: Return of the Jedi," Rachel began.

"Yeah, oh Princess Leia and the gold bikini!" Phoebe cried, excited. "Yea, all guys our age love that bit."

"Really?!" Rachel asked. It was the first time she'd ever been asked to re-enact it.

"Yea. It was huge. The whole 'I'm a woman now!' bit instead of just being a helpless princess," Phoebe laughed.

"So you've done it?" Rachel asked.

"Oh yea! Loads of times," Phoebe nodded. "Ooohhh!"

"That good huh?" Rachel asked, laughing.

"No, I just got a new pager," Phoebe answered. "Got to check who's calling!" She got up and left Rachel sitting there with her brow crunched.

"Look who I found," Ross said, pulling Monica by the hand. She looked even worse than yesterday if that was possible. Rachel felt horrible for not staying with her last night now.

"You need to sleep," Rachel said to her.

"I know," Monica cried. Chandler walked in just then with Janice on his arm. She felt like she just got stabbed. Rachel mistook her gasp for further sobs about Richard.

"Come on, honey," Rachel said. "Let me take you home."

"Hey, Rachel! Look!" Phoebe called, making everyone look. She had buns up on her ears like Leia's hair. Then she noticed Ross and Chandler. "Oh crap."

"What is she doing?" Ross asked, very nervous suddenly.

"Ah hahahahaha!" Janice barked. "That's funny!"

"Oh, God," Ross said.

"Off we go, off we go!" Rachel shouted frantically. She yanked Monica around and tore out of the building with her. Ross was on her heels.

"Rach, is there something you want to tell me?" Ross asked, huffing out of breath behind them.

"Later!" Rachel called over her shoulder. Ross stopped at the bottom of the stairs. If Phoebe was imitating who he thought she was, he was never going to be able to look at her ever again.

 **Monica's apartment**

"There we go," Rachel said, putting Monica to bed. Monica crawled under the covers but wasn't tired.

"Is the pain ever going to go away?" she asked Rachel.

"I...I don't know, sweetie," Rachel admitted.

"It just hurts so much," Monica sighed. They heard the door open and close then, and Phoebe came into the room out of breath.

"I'm sorry!" she said. "I didn't know he was standing right there..."

"Thanks a lot, Phoebs," Rachel snapped. "He was so mortified! Now I have to go calm him down."

"What's going on?" Monica asked.

"Ross asked Rachel to do the Princess Leia and the gold bikini fantasy for him in bed," Phoebe replied.

"Phoebe!" Rachel shouted.

"Sorry. Sorry!" Phoebe winced. Man she blabbed a lot.

"That's funny," Monica said, laughing. She couldn't stop laughing.

"Thanks a lot," Rachel said to Phoebe. She whirled on her heel and left. Monica finally stopped laughing after a bit.

"You didn't have to laugh so hard," Phoebe said to her.

"Sorry. I didn't think I'd ever be able to laugh again," Monica replied.

"Oh, well in that case," Phoebe started. She continued to re-enact the fantasy. Monica laughed even harder. Phoebe felt good about this. She wanted to see Monica happy again. After a while of this, Monica finally collapsed back onto her pillows and closed her eyes. Phoebe got an idea then. She dug into her purse to find her relaxing CD and put it on.

"What are you doing?" Monica asked.

"Helping you relax," Phoebe answered. "Now, listen to the plinky, plunky music. Go to your happy place." Monica's face broke out into a smile suddenly. Phoebe felt a little worried suddenly.

"Okay, tell me about your happy place," Phoebe said when Monica was silent.

"Richard's living room drinking wine," Monica answered.

"Okay. No. Put down the wine and get out," Phoebe said sharply. Monica opened one eye and looked at her. "No Richard!"

"Fine," Monica sighed.

"Use mine," Phoebe said. "But don't touch anything. Okay, you're in a meadow under a million stars..."

"Do you think I should have stayed with Richard?" Monica asked.

"There are no questions in the happy place," Phoebe tried. Monica was looking at her fully now.

"I'm serious, Phoebs. I think I made a big mistake," Monica said.

"Mon, you wanted different things. Are you gonna feel happy that you have a baby and he is resenting the whole thing?" Phoebe asked.

"No," Monica agreed sadly.

"Then you made the right decision," Phoebe said.

"And what about Chandler?" Monica asked. "How am I supposed to just ignore that he had feelings for me?"

"Do you feel the same towards him?" Phoebe asked. Monica thought hard.

"Not really," she replied slowly. She didn't think so anyway. Not right now. She still loved Richard.

"Then you can't bring it up," Phoebe explained. "You will only crush him. He's finally moved on, and he needed to do that. If you tell him you know, he'll go crazy and you guys won't get together and he'll be miserable forever and ever."

"Okay, okay, I get it," Monica said.

"Swear to me," Phoebe demanded.

"I swear!" Monica said loudly.

"Good. Now, go back to your...I mean my happy place. Listen to the water falling gently," Phoebe soothed. Monica made a disgruntled noise and got up.

"Where are you going?" Phoebe asked when she left the room.

"I'm not tired, and now I have to pee," Monica answered.

 **Joey & Chandler**

Chandler had just left after their argument about Janice going to the hockey game with them. Joey sat there feeling a bit guilty about it. He just couldn't understand what Chandler saw in this woman after dumping her two times before already. Phoebe came in just then, and he noticed she looked annoyed.

"What's up?" he asked. He was surprised to see her here at all since she had been avoiding being alone with him.

"I just don't know how to help Monica," Phoebe sighed. She sat down in the chair beside Joey.

"She's really torn up, huh?" Joey asked.

"Yea. I think she might have tromped on some of my flowers in my happy place too," Phoebe answered. Joey wasn't sure how to respond to that.

"I don't know how to be around Janice without wanting to rip my own arm off and throwing it at her," he told her, changing the subject.

"That is a challenge," Phoebe nodded.

"Chandler is really upset with me. He just stormed out of here. I really can't believe he loves her," Joey sighed.

"Me either," Phoebe muttered.

"So, are we good now?" Joey asked suddenly.

"I guess we are," she agreed.

"Good," Joey said. He debated telling her that he was crazy about her. She might react very badly to that, especially when their friendship had been so rocky the past month. He guessed he'd just have to sit on it for now until they were in a place he could tell her.

"Helloooo!" Janice's voice called. Joey cringed deeply.

"Hi," he said glumly.

"So I hear you hate me," Janice smirked.

"I didn't say hate," Joey said quickly. "I was very careful about that."

"Well, wanting to rip of body parts to throw at me is pretty close to hate," Janice, braying with laughter.

"Oh, you poor soul," Phoebe muttered to Joey.

"So how are we going to get along?" Janice asked.

"I don't know. I know Chandler really wants us to," Joey replied.

"Well, let's start with Joey and Janice's day of FUN!" Janice screeched.

"Oh, God," Joey groaned. Phoebe laughed. Janice grabbed his hand and tugged him up and out the door. "Why a whole day?"

"Cos that's how long it takes to love me," Janice answered.

 **Ross & Rachel**

"I can't believe you told Phoebe about the...the thing!" Ross spluttered.

"I'm sorry!" Rachel cried. "I didn't know it was such a secret!"

"She didn't know it was a secret," Ross said to nobody.

"Okay, who are you talking to when you do that?" Rachel demanded. He shook his head, looking at her again.

"It was a private thing between you and me," he said instead. "I just don't get why you shared it with Phoebe. Do you share everything?"

"We are girlfriends! Of course we share. I have dirt on her too, you know," Rachel said. Ross stood there wanting to know suddenly what this dirt was exactly, but he let it go.

"Well, I'd appreciate it if you didn't in the future," Ross said.

"Okay," Rachel agreed. "But I'm just saying, you should really share with your friends. It's liberating."

"Yea, okay," Ross snorted.

 **Chandler-Later**

Chandler was standing in his kitchen thinking. He had just seen Monica go down the stairs looking like the shell of her former self. He felt really badly about her breakup. He knew how much she loved Richard. Before he could think about it too much, Janice came bursting in with Joey behind her.

"Hello," he said, peering at them curiously. "Did you two spend the day together?"

"We sure did!" Janice exclaimed. "I just came in for a kiss. I have to go get the little one." She planted on on Chandler and then was gone. Chandler turned to look at Joey, who had a pained expression on his face.

"You still can't stand her," Chandler said.

"I tried so hard, man. I really did!" he added. "But now I can be around her without wanting to choke her, and I think that's progress! I really want to work on this cos you're my best friend."

"Thanks, Joe," Chandler smiled.

 **Monica**

She had returned from the coffee house and had put on the Civil War videos she had bought for Richard. She had a cigar lit in her hand as well. She was so tired, but she couldn't sleep. Why wasn't Richard calling her? Most people ignored it when you told them to not call. She would have called. Maybe she should call. Then there was a knock at her door, so she went to answer it.

"Hi, pumpkin," her Dad, Jack, said, standing there.

"Hi, Dad," she said. "What are you doing here?"

"It's your mother's bridge night, and I just wanted to make sure you're okay," he answered.

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" she asked.

"I saw Richard," he told her. She sat down.

"Oh," she said.

"Yea, so how are you really?" he asked.

"Fine. Just tired. How is he?"

"You don't want to know," Jack answered.

"I really, really do," she said.

"He's a wreck! Worse than when he and Barbara broke up," Jack added.

"Really? You're just saying that," Monica said. She felt relief suddenly. So Richard was just as a mess as she was.

"He's a total mess," Jack told her. "I'm not making it up." Monica closed her eyes, sinking back onto the pillows. Her Dad kept talking about something or other, but all she could hear and see was blissful darkness of sleep.

 **The Next Day**

"You look better today," Ross noted. He had stopped by at the request of their father. Monica nodded.

"I think I just needed to know Richard was just as a wreck as me in order to sleep," she said.

"Well, I'm just glad to see you looking better," Ross smiled.

"I wonder what he did with the ring," Monica mused. Ross choked on his water. She looked at him curiously.

"How did you know about the ring?" he asked after clearing his trachea.

"I saw it in his coat pocket," she answered. "How do you know about the ring?"

"Nuh uh. No," Ross shook his head.

"Ross," Monica warned. "Did he tell you?"

"No," Ross said sharply.

"I don't understand. You knew about the ring but he didn't tell you?" Monica asked. "This doesn't make any sense! He was going to propose to me. You somehow found out about it. How did you not have...?"

"He wasn't going to propose!" Ross cut her off loudly. She looked at him, surprised.

"He wasn't?" she asked. "But...I saw it in his coat pocket..."

"It wasn't his coat," Ross told her quickly. She paused, thinking. Then she looked at him with wide eyes.

"It was your coat," she breathed. "That means..."

"Yes," Ross cut her off. "Please don't say anything. I mean it, Mon. It's too early. Rachel basically told me that."

"I...I won't say anything," Monica promised. "Wow, Ross. This is huge."

"Yea, it is, but I'd appreciate it if this just stayed between you and me," Ross said. His voice held a warning, so she nodded in agreement. He put his glass away and went to leave. He was going to be late for work. He hugged Monica goodbye and went on his way. Monica sank down onto the kitchen chair feeling heartbroken. So Richard wasn't going to propose to her. She really felt like a fool now.

 **A Week Later**

Ross was at his wits end. None of his friends were ready, and now his girlfriend was in her room angry at him. Monica was obsessing over an old/new message from Richard and was freaking out about what to do about it. Phoebe looked ridiculous with a huge floral thing attached to her dress thanks to Chandler and Joey fighting over a stupid chair. He clutched his head in his hands. He was going to be late, and there was nothing more he hated than being late for something.

"Rach?" he asked, knocking. "Can I come in?" She opened the door in her sweats and a baggy sweatshirt.

"Whatever," she said, coming out.

"I know it's black tie optional, but that might be pushing it," Ross said, half teasing. She glared at him.

"I'm not going," she said.

"W-what?"

"Yea, I just got yelled at in front of my friends so I'm not really in a benefity mood," she replied.

"Oh, okay. I see. Rach, you gotta come," Ross begged. Phoebe's war cries in the other room made them all jump.

"Give me the phone!" Monica was screeching.

"No!"

"Wow," Chandler said.

"Here we go, buddy boy," Joey said, coming in. "You hide my underwear, I'm wearing everything you own. Too bad I'm going commando. Better not do anything like this!" He started to lunge.

"Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking someone's underwear!" Chandler yelped.

"Rachel, please, I'm sorry for yelling," Ross said.

"And humiliated. I was humiliated too," she told him.

"I'm sorry for all of that. I got crazy. It was stupid. I want you there. No, I need you there," he said. "How can I make this up to you? Show you that I really want you there?"

"Drink the fat," Joey suggested. He and Chandler had already tasted it, so why not Ross too?

"I believe this is an adult conversation," Ross said, turning to him.

"No, no, wait, wait, wait, I think it's a good idea," Rachel said. Ross stared at her for a second.

"All right then," he said. Joey handed it to him, bouncing with glee. "Bottom's up." He wanted to hurl, but if this is what it took to get her to go...

"Stop, stop, stop!" Rachel shouted. He paused, the rim at his lips. "I'll go. I can't believe you were gonna do that for me!"

"Let's see what else we can get him to do!" Joey exclaimed.

"No, it's okay. I'm gonna go get dressed," Rachel said, hurrying into her room. Phoebe came out then with two phones with cords dangling from them in her hands.

"Get dressed," Ross ordered Joey, who went across the hall still lunging with Chandler hollering at him to stop it.

"Your sister is one tough bitch," Phoebe said, "but I wore her down." She dropped the phones onto the table. Ross didn't reply and went to hail two cabs.

"I'm sorry," Monica said, running out. "I just can't leave it like this." She dialed Richard's number, beeped in, deleted all three messages, and recorded a new message. Then somehow, her new message became his greeting. She howled in dismay when she heard it say outgoing message was changed.

"Forget it," Phoebe said, grabbing her arm and hauling her out the door. "He'll be getting a new number now."

"This is so humiliating!" Monica cried.

"Two cabs people!" Ross called. Everyone went downstairs, so he waited for Rachel. She came out looking stunning.

"Ohhh," he said, looking at her.

"And with five seconds to spare," she said, kissing him.

"You look amazing," he said.

"Come on before we're very late," she said, tugging on his hand. "Oh, and uh, Ross?"

"Yea?"

"Joey's not the only one going commando tonight," she winked.

"Ohhhhhh," Ross moaned as they walked out.

 **Later**

Everything had gone well except for Chandler's small freakout over someone taking his chair. Ross and Rachel were on their way back to his apartment, and it hit him what he wanted to do next.

"Wait here," he said when they stopped kissing for a moment in his living room. He rushed to his room to get it. It had to be now. She was radiant, he was confident, and he didn't care what her answer was. He wanted to do it. When he came back, she was sitting on the couch with her legs crossed.

"Are you okay?" she asked. "You're sweating."

"I...I know. Rachel, there's something I wanna say to you," he began.

"I'm listening," she said, leaning forward.

"I know that we've only been dating not quite seven months," Ross said. "But I really, really feel that you are the only person I want to be with forever."

"Oh, Ross," Rachel said, putting her hand to her face.

"I love you more than anything," he said, getting down onto his knee. "And I want you to know that I would do anything for you to make you happy for the rest of your life. Rachel, will you marry me?" He opened the ring box, and she gasped, staring at it. Her eyes went from him to the ring.

"Ross," she started. "Oh, Ross. Yes. Yes, I will marry you!"

"Really?" he asked. "It's not too soon?"

"No! I mean, we've known each other for years. This feels right," she said, tearing up. He placed the ring on her finger and kissed her.

"It does feel right," Ross agreed after.

"Oh my God," she said. "We're getting married!"

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed.**


	14. Chapter 14

When they walked into Monica's the next morning, the kitchen was full of jars, and she was standing in front of a big pot stirring.

"Hi, Mon," Rachel said. "Watcha doin'?"

"Making jam! Been at it since 4:30," Monica bragged. She was still feeling humiliated by the entire message thing, and she needed something to take her mind off of it, so this was the idea she came up with.

"Where did you get the fruit at 4:30 in the morning?" Ross asked, hanging up Rachel's coat for her.

"At the docks," Monica replied gleefully.

"Huh," Rachel said.

"What? You think I can't make jam?"

"No. I didn't know we had docks," Rachel replied. Monica rolled her eyes and turned back to her pot. Rachel looked at Ross. They decided Monica should know first before anyone else.

"Hey, Mon?" Ross started.

"Hey," Chandler said, coming in with Joey right behind him. Joey's arm was in a sling.

"Aw, honey. It's broken?" Rachel asked, concerned. They had received the phone call that morning that he had hurt himself and was going to the hospital.

"Not quite. I just have to wear this thing for a few weeks," Joey shrugged.

"Did you tell them how it happened?" Rachel asked. She and Ross had laughed about it when they had heard.

"Nuh uh. I had a story made up, but then Chandler sold me out," Joey said, glaring at Chandler.

"Like they were gonna believe that it just fell out of its socket," Chandler scoffed. Ross sniggered a little.

"Oohh," Joey said suddenly. "What are you making?"

"Jam," Monica said proudly.

"I love jam!" Joey exclaimed. He turned to Chandler. "How come we don't ever have jam?"

"Cos the children needed new clothes," Chandler shot back. Joey ignored him and dove into the pot.

"Oh wait! Joe, it's hot!" Monica called.

"Aagghh!" Joey yelped, horking it back into the pot. Monica crossed her arms, looking at him.

"Nice going," Chandler commented.

"This'll just be my batch," Joey said, feeling sheepish.

"Where's Phoebe?" Rachel asked. They were almost all together. They might as well wait for her.

"Not sure," Monica shrugged.

"Hi everyone!" Phoebe called, entering.

"Ten bucks says she's right here," Chandler shot out. Ross gave him a "come on" look.

"Oohh jam!" Phoebe said, looking into the pot.

"It's all mine," Joey said, putting his arms around it protectively.

"Why? Why are you so selfish about food?" Phoebe asked, getting up in arms.

"He tasted it and then spit it back into the batch cos it was too hot," Monica explained.

"Oh. Ew!" Phoebe said, backing away. Joey just grinned. Everyone was chattering away with one another when Rachel approached Ross.

"Now?" she asked.

"Now," he nodded.

"Okay," she smiled.

"Hey, you guys," Ross said loudly. Everyone stopped and looked at them. "Rachel and I have some news."

"You're having a baby!" Phoebe spit out.

"Wow," Ross said. "Um, no. No baby."

"You're moving in together," Joey tossed in.

"No..."

"You're breaking up?" Monica asked. "Nooo don't break up!"

"No, no, they're..." Chandler started.

"We're getting married!" both Ross and Rachel shouted. Rachel held up her hand for them to see.

"...getting married," Chandler finished. "Damn it! I would have won."

"Oh my God!" Phoebe shouted, jumping up and down. She hurled herself at the two of them and hugged them tightly. "I'm so excited! Oh! Oh! When did this happen?!"

"Last night," Rachel replied happily.

"Wow," Joey said.

"Knew it," Chandler said.

"I'm really happy for you guys," Monica said, hugging her brother first and then her best friend. She kept the smile on, but inside she felt like she had been stabbed a little. It wasn't her brother's fault for making her feel this way. It was just...she wasn't ready for someone to be this happy yet.

"Have you set a date yet?" Phoebe asked.

"Not yet," Rachel said, looking at Ross. "But we will be soon."

"Christmas wedding!" Phoebe said excitedly, still bouncing. "I hear they're magical."

"Not that soon," Ross replied, looking to Rachel for confirmation.

"I've always liked a spring wedding," Rachel said.

"Spring is good! Wait, why was your last wedding in the fall?" Phoebe asked, figuring it out.

"Cos Barry had allergies," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"Spring sounds good," Ross said. "Gives us time to plan a bit."

"May 9th!" Phoebe shouted, making them flinch.

"Why May 9th?" Ross asked.

"It's my grandparents' anniversary. It's a good day," Phoebe explained.

"I wouldn't want to take from your grandparents' day," Rachel said. "Maybe May 10th."

"That's my parents' anniversary!" Joey exclaimed, looking up from the jam. He had dipped into it again, burning himself once more in the process. He was thinking hard about how he was going to gain access to it without further pain. Then his eyes lit up.

"We'll think about it," Rachel said. She tugged on Ross' arm. "I gotta get ready for work."

"Okay," he said, going with her to her room.

"So you guys remember that guy that's been following me right?" Phoebe asked, sitting down across from Joey, who was now sticking crackers into the pot and scooping out jam.

"Yea. The creepy stalker," Monica said.

"He thought he was following Ursula!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"You talked to him?" Joey demanded, jam spraying from his lips.

"I did. His name is Malcom. Turns out he couldn't talk to me cos of the restraining order," Phoebe laughed.

"Not getting a good vibe about Malcom," Chandler said. He shared a look with Monica.

"Oh whatever. Like you date perfect people," Phoebe huffed, getting up.

"Where you going?" Monica asked.

"Oh like you all care so much," Phoebe shot at her before disappearing out the door.

"She's touchy," Joey commented, licking his fingers.

 **The Next Day**

"Okay, so things are done with Malcom," Phoebe said, sighing and collapsing onto the couch at the Perk. Chandler looked up at her over his newspaper.

"Oh?" he asked. "How come?"

"He's still hung up on my sister," Phoebe muttered.

"I can see how that would be awkward," Chandler replied.

"This sucks," Phoebe said. "I hate that you guys were right."

"Don't worry about it, Phoebs," Chandler said seriously. "You'll find the perfect guy someday."

"It doesn't matter," she shrugged.

"Hey, you guys," Ross said, coming in with Rachel. "We need your help in telling Monica she's crazy."

"I am not crazy!" Monica cried, following them.

"Yes, you are," Ross argued.

"What's going on?" Phoebe asked.

"Monica is going to the sperm bank to have a baby," Ross shot out.

"What?!" both Chandler and Phoebe exclaimed.

"It's so not a big deal," Monica said casually.

"Sweetie, it's just not the right way to get over Richard," Rachel said.

"Who said anything about Richard?" Monica demanded. "I'm gonna be old soon, and I need to have a baby before that happens. It took me 28 years to meet the right guy, and what if that doesn't happen ever again? I'll never have a child. This is happening."

"I'm calling Mom," Ross threatened.

"You wouldn't," Monica said, narrowing her eyes.

"Watch me," he replied.

"As fun as that sounds," Chandler cut them off. "Mon, I think whatever makes you happy is what you should do."

"Whose side are you on?" Ross asked, outraged.

"Thank you, Chandler," Monica smiled. She stuck her tongue out to Ross and left the cafe with her head held high.

"What was that?" Ross demanded.

"She needs to be reassured that she has control of her life, that happiness is something she can achieve without Richard. Don't you guys see that?" Chandler asked.

"All I see is a big mistake in the making," Ross scowled.

"Ten bucks says she doesn't do it," Phoebe piped up.

"I'll take that bet," Rachel said, shaking Phoebe's hand.

"Maybe she won't," Chandler agreed, "but this is something that's hers right now and hers alone. She needs this."

"Sure. Okay," Phoebe chuckled. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to tell Malcom he's stalking the wrong twin again."

"I have to get to work," Rachel said, giving Ross a kiss. "I'll see you later."

"Sure," he agreed. She smiled and waved as she went behind the counter.

"Has she moved in yet?" Chandler asked.

"Not yet. We kind of thought we should wait before Monica's crisis is over," Ross sighed.

"Good idea," Chandler agreed. He was trying not to think about Monica. Normally he'd be there comforting her, but lately she had been avoiding being alone with him, so he thought that his getting with Janice the same time she broke up with Richard might be rubbing it in her face that he was with someone and she wasn't.

"So? Did you figure out the hug and roll?" Ross asked quietly so Rachel wouldn't hear.

"Funny story," Chandler said, laughing nervously.

 **Later**

"You hug and roll me?!" Rachel asked, slamming the door behind her. Ross flinched openly.

"W-what? N-no. No. I don't do that," he denied. Rachel crossed her arms and glared at him.

"Then how come Janice told me that you told Chandler how to do it? She has a cast on her wrist for crying out loud!" she cried.

"When did you see Janice?" Ross asked.

"Don't change the subject," Rachel growled.

"Okay, so sometimes I want to have my own space when I'm sleeping," Ross said. "You can't tell me that you don't."

"I love cuddling with you all night," Rachel said. She didn't mention the nights where she would wait until he was asleep before releasing herself from his grip and then making sure to wake up before him to put herself back into the same position. It just wasn't the time or place.

"Well, sometimes I just want to have my own space," Ross went on. "I'm sorry."

"How come you didn't just talk to me about it instead of telling Chandler about your stupid trick to get your own way?" she demanded.

"I didn't want to upset you," Ross pointed out.

"Oh, and this is so much better," Rachel snorted.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it. I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"I'm a big girl, Ross. You don't want to cuddle me all night, fine. I don't care," Rachel said, throwing up her hands.

"I think you do," Ross noted.

"Not anymore," she said. "I need to be alone right now." She turned and went out the door.

 **Monica**

She was getting ready to go get her baby when Joey walked in.

"Hey, Joe," she said.

"Hey," he replied. "Where you off to?"

"The bank," she smiled.

"Sperm or regular?" he asked. He had heard about it from Chandler.

"Sperm," she winked.

"Good for you," Joey nodded. "You're really doing this."

"Yup. Got the guy all picked out," she explained. "37135."

"Sounds like a stand up guy," Joey agreed.

"Oh yea. Brown hair. Green eyes..." she trailed off, fantasizing.

"I pegged you for a blond guy," Joey said. Monica looked at him.

"Really?"

"Yea. He'd be some smart guy and you'd live in a big house with a pool and three kids."

"Wow," Monica said. "You've really thought this all out."

"It's just something I saw you having," Joey shrugged.

"Huh," she said, sitting down into the kitchen chair, thinking.

"But this way is great too," Joey said.

"It is," she agreed. "I know what I'm doing. Lots of women are single parents. I don't know how well I'd be able to share parenting anyway."

"I think you'd figure it out," Joey said, "but if this is really what you want..."

"It is," Monica cut him off. "Thanks, Joey." She got up and went out the door.

 **Later**

"Oh, Joey," Rachel said. "You've got jam..." She gestured on her own face. Joey dabbed one finger on the corner of his mouth and wiped off the jam.

"Better?" he asked.

"Sure," she replied. She felt like laughing. There was jam all over his face still. Ross came in then, and she avoided his gaze. He walked over to Chandler, who was on the couch.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Ross asked.

"Sure. What's up?"

"Women talk!" Ross shouted, smacking Chandler across the head with a rolled up magazine.

"Ow!" Chandler yelped.

"Rach, I'm so sorry," Ross said, turning to Rachel. "Can you forgive me?"

"Only if you hit him one more time," Rachel said.

"Done," Ross said, swinging the magazine once more, clipping Chandler in the ear.

"Du-ude!" Chandler said, gripping his head.

"Hey, where's Mon?" Ross asked.

"She went to the sperm bank," Joey said, licking his fingers. He was finished his last jar of jam, and it was a little sad.

"She did?!" Ross asked. "Damn it! You guys said she wouldn't do it!"

"We said probably," Rachel argued. "She is pretty stubborn once her mind is made up."

"This is crazy," Ross said. "She can't do this."

"It's her life, Ross," Joey pointed out. "She can do what she wants." Ross didn't feel like arguing anymore. He knew this whole thing was a big mistake, but he couldn't convince his sister the same. He only hoped there wouldn't be any more heartache for her.

 **A Week Later**

"I'm sorry," Phoebe was saying to Joey. "I just can't be the person who makes your face look like that!"

"It's okay," Joey tried to convince her. "I can take criticism. It will help me in the end."

"This fake agent thing is not working for me," Phoebe went on.

"But it's working for me!" Joey cried. "Sort of. Please, Phoebs, just a few more."

"Okay, but you can't look like I'm stripping you of your manhood every time I tell you why you're not getting the part," Phoebe warned.

"Deal," Joey said, shaking her hand with his good one. Monica walked by just then.

"Oh, hey," Phoebe said. "How did therapy go?"

"It's great. They've discovered I'm serious about this baby thing, so next week they're gonna inseminate me!" Monica said happily.

"That's good," Joey smiled.

"It is," Monica agreed. She went into her apartment, leaving Joey and Phoebe in the hall.

"I'm very worried," Phoebe said.

"Me too," Joey agreed.

"So I chased her down the street," Chandler was saying to Rachel as they came up the stairs. "I can recover from that. Right? Right?!" They went into his apartment to discuss his disaster with Janice further.

"What's that all about?" Joey asked, frowning.

"He got too serious with Janice, and she freaked out, so now Chandler is trying to prove he's fine with not committing," Phoebe explained.

"Chandler? Commit?" Joey snorted. "Hardly."

"He gave her a drawer and everything. Then he suggested they take a trip with her parents," Phoebe laughed.

"Wow," Joey snickered. "Talk about going so far past the tunnel it loops back around." Phoebe's phone rang just then.

"Crap," she said, recognizing the number. It was another gig for Joey.

"Take it!" he urged. "I can handle the rejection." He turned his face so she wouldn't see him wincing.

"Fine," she said. "But this is the last one!"

 **A Week Later**

Monica was feeling desolate. It had been difficult watching Chandler with Janice that night. Then Janice had to poke into who had slept with who in the group, which nobody had except Ross and Rachel. Then she was reminded of how Joey had stripped in front of her because he thought lemonade meant sex and how Chandler had hugged her while she was wearing a towel. It did not help the fact that she still thought about his list on his computer about her. But looking at him that night, she realized he was truly happy with Janice. There would not be a chance there at all. Then she thought about the news she had received earlier that day when she went to get inseminated.

"I truly am sorry, Monica," the doctor had said. "You won't be able to get pregnant."

"What?" Monica had asked, shocked.

"You can't have children."

These words rang in Monica's ears even now, sitting alone in her apartment. She couldn't have children. Ever.

"Hey, Mon," Chandler said, coming into the apartment. "Quick que...what's wrong?" He saw her crying and went to sit beside her.

"Nothing," she said, wiping at her eyes.

"It's obviously not nothing," he disagreed, putting his arm around her.

"Nothing important," Monica insisted. "What's your question?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. What is your question?"

"Well," Chandler said. "Um, Janice wanted to know if you wanted to have a girls' day with her since she's kind of in the group now."

"Oh," Monica said. "I'll think about it."

"Okay," Chandler nodded.

"Can you leave now?" Monica asked.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Monica replied. Chandler reluctantly left her sitting there. He didn't know what was making her so upset, but he felt it was something big.

 **The Next Day**

"Hey," Rachel said, coming into the apartment. "So Ross and I decided to go with May 10th for our wedding."

"That's great," Monica croaked. She had stayed on the couch all night, unable to move due to the gripping emotional pain she was experiencing.

"Oh, honey," Rachel said, noticing. "What's wrong?"

"I...I can't...I can't have," Monica tried.

"Helloooo," Joey said, coming in.

"Get out!" Rachel shouted, making Joey jump in fright. "Get out, get out, get out!"

"Okay, okay," he said. "Geez." Once the door shut behind him, Rachel turned to Monica again.

"Monica?"

"The doctor told me yesterday that...I...I can't have kids," Monica finally managed to say. The words out loud were even worse than they were in her head.

"Oh my God," Rachel said, covering her mouth. "Monica. I'm so sorry. Come here." She pulled Monica into a huge hug.

"I don't know what to do," Monica cried.

"There's really no way?" Rachel asked.

"No. None at all," Monica answered.

"That's awful," Rachel said.

"I broke up with Richard because he didn't want kids," Monica started. Rachel could quickly see where this was going.

"Oh, Mon. I don't think getting back with Richard right now is a good idea," she said.

"Why not? It'll never happen for me, and I love Richard. We should be together," Monica argued.

"Maybe just put a pin in that right now," Rachel suggested. "Take your time after this news to just figure it out."

"Figure what out? If I'm not going to have children, I might as well not be alone," Monica pointed out.

"Just promise me you'll take a week to decide," Rachel said.

"Okay fine, but it's happening," Monica told her.

"Can I come in now?" Joey asked, peeking around the door.

"What do you want?" Rachel demanded.

"I think I left some eggs over here," Joey said, heading to the fridge.

"No, you didn't," Rachel argued.

"I'll buy you more," Joey said, leaving with the whole carton.

"I'm gonna miss this apartment," Rachel sighed. Then she froze.

"Wait, what?" Monica asked.

"One day. When I get married," Rachel said quickly. Monica looked at her closely.

"You're lying," Monica said. "Ross wants you to move in now, doesn't he?"

"Okay, okay," Rachel caved. "We just didn't want to tell you since you were so upset about Richard. But this has happened, so I'm going to stay here."

"No," Monica said. "You're not going to stay here out of pity for me. I'm fine. I told you, I'm getting back with Richard. It's all good."

"Okay, I still don't think the Richard thing is a good idea, but if you say you're fine, then okay, I want to move in with Ross," Rachel said.

"All right," Monica said.

"Okay," Rachel said again. She couldn't tell if Monica was indeed all right. She felt bad leaving her friend in the midst of everything, but she couldn't stay here forever either.

 **A Week Later**

"I really don't feel up to Janice tonight," Monica moaned. Joey, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe were already there. They were waiting for Chandler and Janice to get there. Monica was running around cleaning while her lasagna was cooking.

"It's only a couple of hours," Ross reassured her. "She's kind of growing on me a little."

"She'll never grow on me," Joey shuddered.

"I wonder if the doctors could even fix that nasal thing she's got going on," Phoebe mused. Joey snorted with laughter.

"Oh. My. God," Rachel mocked. Everyone burst into laughter.

"What's so funny?" Chandler asked, entering with Janice in tow.

"We were just talking about how Joey is going to be a teacher," Ross cut in.

"How is that funny?" Janice asked, confused.

"Come on. Joey? A teacher?" Ross asked. He laughed nervously.

"Yea. I'm not very smart," Joey added.

"Okay then," Chandler said, letting it go.

"Dinner smells delicious!" Janice exclaimed.

"Thank you," Monica said. Everyone started chatting while Monica finished. Dinner went by faster than she thought it would, and then everyone was soon sitting around the television.

"Oh, oh, oh!" Chandler said when the Mattress King commercial came on. "Change the channel. Janice, cover your eyes!"

"It's okay. I want to watch. Half that kingdom is gonna be mine," Janice said, leaning forward. The commercial went on to describe the big savings on pillow top mattresses. Monica's interest was peaked.

"What a jerk," Chandler muttered.

"I can't believe he's using our divorce to sell mattresses," Janice groaned.

"Those babies will sell themselves," Monica mused. Chandler glared at her. "What?"

"Well, we should go," Rachel said, getting up. Ross followed suit. Rachel had moved out earlier that week, and despite Monica saying she was fine, it still hurt a little to not have her there.

"Us too," Chandler said. He helped Janice up.

"And me," Phoebe added.

"Thanks for dinner, Mon," Ross said as he put on his coat.

"Yes, thank you," Janice added. Good nights were shared, and then it was just Monica and Joey.

"You okay?" Joey asked her. He had noticed his friend had been subdued lately.

"Yea. I'm just going with the motions these days," she sighed.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked. She shook her head slowly.

"I'm good, Joe. Thanks," she smiled weakly. He looked at her seriously.

"It's about Rachel being moved out isn't it? You'll find another roommate," he reassured her.

"That's part of it, but not all of it," Monica replied.

"Is it the baby thing? Did the insemination not work?" Joey asked. Monica started to choke and cry at this. "Whoa, what happened? Monica?"

"I c-can't h-have k-kids," she stuttered through her tears.

"What? Oh my God," Joey said, going over and hugging her. "Mon, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you say anything before?"

"I just don't w-want everyone knowing right now," Monica cried. "I can't stand the pity."

"Does Ross know?" Joey asked.

"He does. Only because Rachel wrangled it out of me and then told him," Monica sniffed. She released Joey and wiped at her eyes.

"This is rotten news," Joey said.

"It is. I'm slowly coming to terms with it, but it still really upsets me if I think about it too much."

"Is there anything I can do?" Joey asked.

"No," Monica shook her head. "Well, yes, actually. Can you come with me to buy a mattress?"

"A mattress?" Joey asked, surprised.

"Yea. Don't tell Chandler," Monica added.

"I won't. I'm just surprised that a mattress is going to help you feel better," Joey said, confused.

"It won't. I just really want to cash in on that sweet deal," Monica answered. Joey laughed.

"All right. I'll go tomorrow with you. Right after my first class," Joey finished.

 **The Next Day**

"This teaching thing is pretty easy," Joey said to Phoebe as they followed Monica into the Mattress King store.

"Oh yea?" Phoebe asked.

"Yea. They are really interested in what I have to say. It's weird," Joey frowned.

"But you are interesting," Phoebe noted. She smiled at him. Joey felt a funny tumble in his stomach at this. He had noticed this type of behavior more and more in the past few weeks. He had originally thought that his crush on Phoebe would just fade away with time, but he was becoming more convinced that it wasn't going to. They had just started being normal friends again, and Joey didn't want to risk losing that over his unsure feelings.

"Ohhh this one," Monica said, lying on a mattress. "It's amazing."

"I like this one," Phoebe said, pointing to the race car bed. Joey high fived her.

"What am I? Five?" Monica asked.

"It's cool," Joey shrugged.

"You stay here while I go order this one," Monica said, pointing emphatically to the one she liked.

 **Ross and Rachel**

"Your dad hates me," Ross moaned as they entered his apartment.

"He doesn't hate you," Rachel corrected. "He just isn't fond of you."

"That makes me feel much better," Ross scoffed.

"Look, we'll invite him to brunch and settle things," Rachel said.

"I don't see how that's going to fix things," Ross responded. "And why did you not tell him we were engaged?"

"I was going to! I just...lost my nerve," Rachel finished. She hated to admit that her father scared her a little too.

"You have to tell him. I know, how about at brunch tomorrow?" Ross asked a little sarcastically.

"Okay I will," Rachel agreed.

"Good," he said.

"Good," she echoed.

 **Chandler**

"You're happy, right?" Chandler asked Janice. They were at his apartment lying on his bed. He wasn't sure why he needed to know this as he felt she was just as happy as he was, but it was a burning question he had to get off his chest.

"Of course," Janice replied, patting his arm. "I'll be even happier when this divorce is final."

"When is that again?" Chandler asked.

"Soon," Janice promised.

"Okay," Chandler said.

"So, what's up with Monica?" Janice asked. "She seems unlike herself."

"I don't know. She wouldn't tell me," Chandler sighed. "I think Rachel moving out has been hard on her."

"I'd be sad too if my best friend moved out and I was suddenly alone," Janice nodded. "We should do something to cheer her up."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Let me think on it a little longer," Janice suggested.

"Okay," Chandler said in his cutesy voice, giving her a kiss.

 **Monica**

She had narrowly avoided Janice, who was attempting to cheer her up with something. Monica didn't want to know what. The woman got under her skin on a good day. She walked into her apartment to find Phoebe panicked.

"What's wrong?" Monica asked, concerned.

"I'm so, so sorry," Phoebe said.

"About what?" Monica prodded. She headed towards her room.

"Naah ahh!" Phoebe shrieked, making Monica jump.

"Phoebe! What is it?" Monica asked.

"Just let her go in," Joey said, coming out of the bathroom with a tissue in his hand against his nose.

"What happened to you?" Monica questioned.

"I was practising for my role as Nick the boxer," Joey explained. "Phoebe has one mean right hook."

"So what does this have to do with..." Monica trailed off. She looked toward her bedroom and noticed Phoebe's face get even more upset. She charged into her room and snapped on the light. The bright red race car bed glared at her.

"Phoebe!" Monica shouted. "What is this doing in my room?!"

"Well. Um," Phoebe tried.

"We didn't see it go in cos I was distracting her," Joey said, taking the fall. "It's my fault, Mon. I'm sorry."

"They won't let you return it cos you signed for it," Phoebe explained.

"But I didn't..." Monica started.

"I did," Joey cut in, saving Phoebe again. She looked at him gratefully. "I'm going down there right now to fix it." He turned to go, Monica on his heels. Phoebe stayed behind. When they got there, Joey took the lead.

"Just stay here," he instructed. He went to find the King. Monica rubbed her arms, looking around.

"Monica?" She turned, and her heart almost stopped.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey," Richard said back, coming closer to her. "Fancy meeting you here."

"I bought a bed but they brought the wrong one," Monica explained.

"Ah," Richard nodded.

"So, how are you?" Monica asked. She felt nervous. She had been anticipating seeing him again, but she didn't know what to say now that he was right in front of her.

"I'm okay," Richard replied. "I've been thinking about you."

"And I you," Monica said quickly.

"How are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm...I'm actually not okay," Monica said, her voice quivering.

"Oh?" Richard said, coming even closer.

"My best friend moved out. I lost someone I loved because he didn't want children with me, but then I went to have a baby by insemination and was told I can't ever have a child, so now I'm feeling like an idiot for letting my love go," Monica finished.

"I'm so sorry," Richard said. "That's terrible news. Is there anything I can do?"

"Richard," Monica said, taking his hand in hers. "I miss you terribly. I kept meaning to call, but I thought maybe I should wait. I can't wait any longer. Richard, I want to get back together."

"I've been dying to hear you say that," Richard said, sweeping her up into his arms.

"Hey, so the King said he'll fix...ah!" Joey yelped, seeing Monica and Richard kissing.

"Joey," Monica said after Richard set her down. "You remember Richard?"

"Uh, yea," Joey nodded. "Nice seeing you again."

"We're back together," Monica said quickly. Richard grinned in response.

"That's...great," Joey said.

"So they're going to replace the bed?" Monica asked. Her eyes were begging Joey to not make a big deal out of it.

"Um, yea. He said it wasn't a problem," Joey finished.

"Great," Monica said.

"So, I'll see you later?" Richard asked.

"Yes," she agreed. He left with a hug. Joey stared at her after he was gone.

"Are you crazy?" he demanded.

"What? I can't have children. He doesn't want anymore children. We love each other. Why not be together?" Monica asked.

"I just...I dunno. I don't see you with him forever," Joey said.

"And who do you see me with?" Monica asked angrily.

"I don't know. Just not him," Joey answered. "Look, don't be mad at me. I'm happy if you're happy. Just don't jump back into it if your heart isn't into it."

"My heart is into it. Always was. Now there's no reason to not be together," Monica told him. "Can we drop this now? Please?"

"Okay," he agreed. He didn't like the feeling in his gut. He wasn't even sure what it meant.

 **Ross and Rachel**

Ross and her father were laughing about her misalignment and her chiropractor. Rachel was fuming a little at this, but then she realized that it was making them bond. She even felt it was the right time to open her mouth.

"Daddy?" she asked. "I have something to tell you."

"Go ahead sweet pea," Dr. Green gestured. He was happily drinking his coffee.

"Ross and I are engaged," Rachel said. "We're getting married in May." Dr. Green choked on his coffee.

"What?" he asked. He looked at Ross. "Why didn't you ask me for my permission?"

"Cos I'm afraid of you," Ross answered truthfully.

"Daddy, this is good," Rachel said. "I love Ross, and he loves me. I've never been happier. Please be okay with this."

"It's common courtesy to ask for the daughter's hand in marriage first," Dr. Green said, glaring at Ross. "But since I'm beginning to like this guy, I suppose I can let it slide."

"Thank you," Ross sighed in relief.

"Thanks, Daddy," Rachel said, hugging her father tightly.

"You're not pregnant are you?" Dr. Green asked suspiciously.

"No! No, of course not," Rachel tittered nervously. She hadn't told her father about her miscarriage. She had been getting up the nerve to tell him she was even pregnant, and when it all went away, she figured there just was no sense.

"Good," Dr. Green nodded. He sipped his coffee again. "So, Ross, tell me about what you do for a living." Rachel tuned out this conversation. She wasn't in the mood for dinosaur talk right now. She was just so happy her father hadn't freaked out at the news.

 **Phoebe**

Joey had told her about Richard. Phoebe couldn't believe it. She hurried to Monica's room once Joey had left. Monica was fixing up the new bed that had come.

"You're dating Richard again?" Phoebe asked. "Are you serious?"

"Why does everyone see that as a bad thing?" Monica demanded, getting exasperated.

"But...what about Chandler?" Phoebe asked.

"What about him? He's with Janice! He's happy! I wasn't interested in him that way," Monica finished. "Remember?"

"Really? You really had no feelings for him once you found out he had feelings for you?" Phoebe pressed.

"Well, I had a flicker..." Monica started.

"Aha!" Phoebe shouted, pointing.

"But it went away," Monica finished. "Yea I mean there was a second where I thought 'Hey, that could work,' but it's Chandler. He's my best friend. It wouldn't work anyway."

"You don't know that," Phoebe argued.

"Phoebe! I love Richard. It worked out. Please just let it go," Monica begged.

"I still think you're missing out on Chandler," Phoebe tried.

"He's in a relationship! Phoebe, I'm not the kind of person who breaks up a relationship for something I'm not even sure exists," Monica said sharply. "Besides, you told me not to bring it up with him if I didn't feel the same or else I'd crush his soul."

"All right, all right, don't get cranky," Phoebe said.

"Either help me or go," Monica ordered.

"Fine, I'm going," Phoebe replied. She stormed out. She couldn't believe Monica wasn't even thinking about Chandler after all the hours he spent pining over her. It was utter nonsense.

 **Two Weeks Later**

Richard became a fixture in the group again. Ross and Rachel didn't really comment on it, nor did Joey or Phoebe. Chandler felt a twinge of jealousy when he first heard, but he let it go. He had Janice, and they were happy. He had even bought her an expensive piece of jewelry of which she proudly wore. Ross and Rachel were busy planning their wedding, but Rachel was not happy at where she was in her life job-wise. Then one day, she quit. She had taken the advisement from Chandler and Joey that quitting with no future prospects would give her a push, but she regretted it. She was about ready to throttle Chandler when Joey saved the day. His father had done a plumbing job at a fashion place, and they had an opening. Before too long, Rachel was working at her new job, only to be serving coffee to her new boss.

"Oh my God," Rachel said to Monica a week after starting. They were at the Moondance Diner where Monica was working. "I can't take it anymore. I hate my job. I feel like I should stick it out because it's sort of related to the field I'm interested in, but I just can't do it anymore."

"I can only imagine," Monica said sarcastically, calling out her ridiculously named order to the waiter.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be complaining," Rachel sighed. "I just don't know how I'm going to learn fashion by walking elderly women to the bathroom." The lady next to her started snorting in laughter.

"Uh oh," Monica muttered.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said, turning to the woman. "Is my misery funny to you?"

"I'm so sorry," the woman said, still laughing.

"This is my real job," Rachel told her, glaring.

"I know. I have had similar experiences. I can't help it."

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to my friend, and you can go back to your little sandwich," Rachel sneered.

"It's a Barbara Streisandwich," Monica corrected her. Rachel glared. "What? I named that one."

"I am sorry," the woman said. "I actually might be able to help you."

"How?" Rachel asked.

"My uncle works at Bloomingdale's, and I'm friends with a manager there too. There's a job opening in her department. I can get you in if you'd like," the woman finished.

"Oh my God! That would be amazing!" Rachel shrieked.

"I'm Emily," the woman said, stretching out her hand.

"Rachel," Rachel said, shaking it. "So nice to meet you!"

"Give me your number, and I'll call you this weekend with a time for the interview, okay?" Emily said.

"Okay!" Rachel said excitedly. She wrote it down for Emily, who also wrote hers down as well.

"I'll talk to you soon," Emily smiled, hopping down from her stool. "Great sandwich, Monica."

"Thanks!" Monica called.

"This is unbelievable!" Rachel cried.

"See? Good things happen when you wait," Monica smiled.

"I gotta go tell Ross," Rachel said, throwing down some cash and grabbing her coat. Then she was out the door. Monica stood there wondering why she felt jealous. She guessed it was because nobody was going to just offer her a restaurant to work in and save her from this misery of a job. Life wasn't that kind to her.

 **A Week Later**

Phoebe was at the Moondance Diner visiting Monica when she saw him. The man was glorious, and she had to know his name.

"That's Julio," Monica explained.

"Oohh can I get his number?" Phoebe asked. She had been tentatively dating since moving on from Joey.

"I guess," Monica shrugged. "Hey, Julio!" The man turned and came over to them.

"Yes?" he asked.

"My friend would like your number," Monica said.

"Yes, of course," Julio said, smiling. Phoebe giggled when he wrote it down and handed it over. He winked before he left to go back to work.

"Hee hee!" Phoebe grinned.

"He is hot. I'll give you that," Monica nodded.

"This is gonna be a great date," Phoebe said.

 **The Next Day**

"Oh for the love of God, Joe, stop, stop!" Chandler commanded. Joey stopped his attempt at dancing.

"No good?" he asked. "It's cos there's no music."

"It's cos you suck," Chandler corrected.

"I concur," Monica said. She had come over to take back some eggs that Joey had promised to return and didn't.

"You guys suck," Joey pouted.

"Hey!" Phoebe said, coming in. "I had the best date last night! Oh my God he's amazing. And look! He wrote a poem for me! He even had to stop fooling around just to get it down." She waved the piece of paper at them.

"Not even a meteorite could get me to stop," Joey said.

"Shush," Monica ordered.

"Let's see it," Chandler said, taking it from her. The others leaned in to read it.

"Isn't it great?!" Phoebe said.

"Um, yea," Monica said, wincing on the inside.

"I gotta get to work, but you guys can keep it until you finish reading it," Phoebe said. She skipped out of the apartment.

"Oh boy," Monica said.

"I see it," Chandler agreed.

"Done," Joey said finally. "See what?"

"This poem is about how Phoebe is an empty vase!" Monica cried. "What an asshole! He thinks Phoebe is empty."

"What a jerk," Joey said. He stood up, snatching the poem out of Monica's hand.

"Where are you going?" Chandler asked.

"To teach a jerk a lesson," Joey called back.

"Uh oh," Monica said, looking at Chandler.

"Hey, so should Janice be spending time with her soon to be ex husband more than usual?" Chandler asked casually.

"What do you mean?" Monica asked.

"She just...she's been seeing him a bit more lately due to finalizing the divorce and their child, but I feel like there's something more to it," Chandler mused.

"I wouldn't accuse her of anything," Monica advised.

"I know. I just don't like it," Chandler said.

"Don't read too much into it. They are sharing a kid after all," Monica replied.

"Right," Chandler nodded. It was nothing. Definitely nothing.

 **Ross and Rachel**

"I love my new job," Rachel said to Ross. She was cuddled up to him on the couch as he was reading a magazine.

"That's fantastic," Ross said, kissing her forehead. "I'm so glad."

"I'm just learning so much! I can't believe I got so lucky," Rachel smiled.

"If anybody is the lucky one, it's me," Ross advised. She kissed him soundly in return.

"Emily was mentioning she needs a place to stay when she comes to visit from England," Rachel mused. "Do you think Monica would mind if she stayed with her? She only needs it for a couple of weeks at a time. She's trying to transfer to England permanently. Her boyfriend is there."

"I don't see why not," Ross answered. "Ask her when you see her next."

"I will. I think they'd get along," Rachel smiled. Monica had been significantly happier with Richard, but Rachel felt that would only last so long before it crashed and burned again. It was a gut feeling.

 **Joey**

"Listen here, buttmunch," Joey said to Julio. "You can't write poems about my friend being an empty vase." He shook the paper in Julio's face.

"Whoa," Julio said, holding up his hands. "It's not about her."

"Oh, then who is it about?" Joey asked.

"All American women," Julio answered, grinning.

"Joey?" Phoebe asked, coming inside. "What are you doing?"

"Saving you from an asshole," Joey said. He turned around and punched Julio right in the nose.

"Oh!" Phoebe gasped, covering her mouth. "Joey!"

"He wrote that you were an empty vase," Joey explained. "He was saying that you're empty."

"What?" Phoebe asked. "Julio?" She turned to face him.

"It's about all American women," Julio said again.

"Bastard!" she shrieked, slapping him across the face.

"Nice shot," Joey said approvingly.

"Come on, Joey," Phoebe said. She stormed out with him right behind her. She started crying before not too long.

"Hey, hey," Joey said. "It's okay."

"It's not okay," Phoebe sobbed. "I really thought he was a nice guy."

"And he wasn't. You're better off," Joey reassured her. _With me_ , he wanted to add. Now was so not the time though.

"You shouldn't have done that," Phoebe said. "You could have gotten in trouble."

"I'd do anything for you," Joey said, hugging her. Phoebe felt that old familiar stirring she used to get whenever he was close to her like this. It surprised her. She had been sure she was over him now.

"Well, thanks," she said, pulling away.

"Anytime," Joey smiled. They walked for a while hand in hand. Neither of them knew how to address what they were feeling, so they didn't say anything at all.

* * *

 **Thank you for waiting. I hope you enjoyed it. There are lots of twists and turns to come!**


	15. Chapter 15

Chandler waltzed into Monica's apartment hoping to score a decent breakfast. He was humming to himself when he noticed movement and a scuffling.

"BAH!" he shouted, jumping in fright. There was a woman desperately trying to cover herself with a blanket, and it wasn't Monica.

"Hello," she said, waving. Her cheeks bright red.

"W-who are you?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, I'm Emily. I just moved in last night," she said, stretching out her hand. He looked at her, terrified, so she lowered it.

"You moved in last night?" he asked. He had no idea Monica was getting a new roommate.

"Well, perhaps 'move in' is a bit strong. I'm just using this place to crash at when I'm here. I also work in England, but she graciously offered me a place to land when I am here. I'm trying to get transferred to England full time," she explained.

"Okay," Chandler said, avoiding looking at her. Emily remembered she was wearing a blanket, so she gestured to her room.

"I'm going to go get dressed now," she said.

"Okay," he said again. He stood there, unsure of what to do next when Monica came in behind him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, noticing his body language.

"There was a naked English woman in your living room," he answered. "I'm just processing that."

"You met Emily!" Monica exclaimed. "Isn't she great? We met her a bit ago, and she mentioned she needed a place to stay, so I figured she could room here since Rachel moved out."

"I think I gave your friend a mini stroke," Emily joked as she came out of her room.

"Chandler never knows what to do with naked women," Monica replied, her eyes twinkling.

"That is so NOT true," he argued. Monica tilted her head, giving him a "come on" look.

"Hey, guys," Joey said, entering. "Hi, Emily."

"You know Emily?" Chandler asked, surprised.

"Yea. I helped her with some boxes last night," Joey shrugged.

"Thanks for telling me," Chandler commented. Joey went straight for the fridge, ignoring him.

"Well, I have to get to work," Emily said. "It was nice meeting you..." she paused.

"Chandler," Monica said for him.

"Chandler," Emily finished.

"Uh huh," he said. She grabbed her bag on the way out the door. She gave a wave as she closed it behind her. Monica chuckled as she moved around the kitchen, getting herself a coffee. Joey was now sitting and munching on some manner of leftovers he'd scored from the fridge.

"What did you want?" Monica asked, noticing that Chandler was still just standing there.

"I was wondering if I could borrow your hair dryer since I don't have one and Janice needs one," he said.

"Sure," Monica said, going to get it.

"So tell me," Joey said. "Are English boobs better looking than American boobs? I've always wondered." Chandler just stared at him.

 **Rachel & Ross**

"Ugh!" she cried, slamming the phone.

"What's wrong?" Ross asked, looking over his newspaper.

"My mother," Rachel replied. "She keeps trying to invite all these people I don't even know."

"Did you tell her we're trying to keep it small?" Ross asked.

"Yes! She doesn't listen to me at all," Rachel sighed, flopping onto the couch beside him. He put his arm around her and hugged her reassuringly.

"Want me to talk to her?" he asked.

"That would make it worse," Rachel told him. "Please don't."

"All right," he nodded. His brain was already going into planning mode, however. Rachel looked at the clock and harumphed.

"I better get to work. Emily is going to show me how to do orders today," she said, giving him a big kiss.

"Okay. Have a great day, and I'll see you later," he said, smiling. She pulled on her jacket and grabbed the book that was on the table.

"What's that?" he asked.

"It's _The Shining_ ," Rachel answered. "Joey said it was way better than _Little Women_ , so I'm proving him wrong."

"You're gonna read that at work?" Ross asked, alarmed.

"If I have time," she answered.

"Honey, maybe you better leave it," Ross suggested.

"Relax. How bad could it be?" she asked, scoffing. Ross shook his head after she left. Sometimes she made no sense to him at all.

 **Phoebe**

"What are you reading?" Phoebe asked Joey as she sat down next to him on the couch at the Perk. Chandler was in the other chair examining his fingernails.

" _Little Women_ ," Joey replied. "Rach was right, it is a pretty good book."

"Oh it is!" Phoebe said. "I don't know how it ends, though. It disappeared one day, and my Mom said a robber came and that was all they took." Chandler gave her an incredulous look while Joey looked concerned.

"Robbers do that?" he asked, looking at his book. "This must be worth millions. I better hide it then." Chandler switched his look to Joey.

"Hey," Ross said, coming in. "What's happening."

"Our two friends apparently go to the same doctor and got the same diagnosis," Chandler replied.

"What?" Ross asked.

"Never mind," Chandler sighed.

"Oh, here's Robert!" Phoebe sang. Joey's head snapped up quickly.

"Who?" he asked.

"This guy I met the other day. Yea, he's cool," she said happily. Joey scrunched his face in return, looking unhappy. Robert swooped in and gave her a kiss on her cheek, making her giggle. Joey looked like he wanted to throw the _Little Women_ at him. Robert positioned himself in a way that startled Chandler.

"I'm up!" he shouted. "So up. Anyone want anything while I'm up?"

"I'll have a coffee," Phoebe nodded.

"Ross, come with," Chandler said, gesturing.

"What's wrong with you?" Ross asked when they reached the counter.

"Robert's coming out," Chandler answered.

"What? He's gay?" Ross asked, looking at Robert carefully.

"No! Out of his shorts," Chandler hissed.

"Oh, ew!" Ross choked.

"What do we do?"

"I suggest we just don't look directly at it," Ross offered.

"Right," Chandler said, nodding. "Like the sun."

"Hi, sweetie," Janice said, coming up to him.

"Hi, shnookems," Chandler replied, getting a kiss from her in return.

"Bye sunshine," Ross teased. He went back to the couch.

"I have the morning free," Janice said to Chandler, giving him a knowing look.

"All right," he said. Anything was better than looking at Robert.

 **End of the day**

"What a rotten day," Monica sighed, pulling off her coat. Emily was sitting on the couch knitting.

"Oh?" she asked. "What happened."

"I had to work two shifts, and then I lost one of my fake boobs to a fire," Monica replied, showing Emily the blackened spot on her shirt.

"Oh dear," Emily said. Then she smiled.

"What?" Monica asked.

"Something tells me your day is going to pick up," Emily replied mysteriously. Monica rolled her eyes and went into her bedroom.

"Hi," Richard said. She took in all the flowers and the candles.

"Oh, wow," she said, throwing herself into his arms.

 **Central Perk**

"How are you doing with your book?" Joey asked when Rachel came for a coffee after work. Chandler was back as well.

"Great. Danny went into room 217," she answered.

"Ohhh that's the best part!" Joey said excitedly. "He finds that dead lady..."

"Ahhhhhh!" Rachel shouted, covering her ears. "Joey!"

"You remember how Jack tries to kill them with the blank and they manage to get away?" Joey asked Chandler.

"You jerk!" Rachel cried, smacking him with the book.

"You need to work on your secret language," Chandler told Joey.

"All right, all right," Rachel said. "Jo turns down Laurie's proposal despite the fact she loves him and he marries Amy."

"Hey!" Joey yelped. Rachel glared. "All right, the boiler blows and kills the dad."

"Beth dies," Rachel spat out. Joey's face turned to horror.

"W-what?" he asked. "Beth dies?"

"Yup," she nodded.

"So if I keep reading, Beth is gonna die?" Joey asked again.

"No," Chandler cut in. "She doesn't die, Joe. Rachel is making that up." He gave her a pointed look.

"What?!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Joey is asking you if you destroyed the first book he's ever loved that doesn't star Jack Nicholson," Chandler said. Rachel got it then.

"No, she doesn't die," she told Joey, who was immediately relieved.

"What would make you say that then?" he demanded.

"To hurt you," Rachel answered. He shook his head and went back to reading.

"Has he been here reading all day?" she asked Chandler in a whisper.

"Pretty much," he nodded.

"I'm impressed," Rachel said. She waved at them and went out the door to go home. Phoebe came in a second later.

"Okay," she said to the two of them. "You have to tell him." She had wrangled out of them what had been so funny earlier, and now she couldn't not see it.

"We can't. We barely hang out with the guy," Chandler pointed out, smirking.

"Yea. We're not really in the same ball court as him," Joey added. He and Chandler high fived each other. He was secretly pleased at this flaw in Robert. It was clearing driving her crazy.

"Stop it!" she hissed.

"Hey, guys," Robert beamed as he came in. He got settled in the chair, and all three of them flinched.

"We need to talk," Phoebe said.

"Seriously! Why does this keep happening to me?" Robert complained. "Is it something I'm putting out? Or am I just nuts?"

"Oh God," Phoebe choked. "I...I really don't know how to answer that." Joey was fighting the laughter by biting his cheeks. Gunther came over then to clean off the table just then, and he noticed Robert.

"Dude, this is a place for family. Put the jewels away huh?" Gunther snorted.

"What?" Robert asked, looking down. Then he saw. "Oh...oh I'm so sorry." He crossed his legs together, embarrassed.

 **Monica's apartment**

"Oh, hey," Rachel said to Emily as she came in. "I'm just here to grab my hair dryer. I left it here." She went into the bathroom to find it. Joey came into the apartment then, looking scared.

"Hello," Emily said.

"Rach!" Joey called. Rachel came out, wondering where her hair dryer went, then she saw his face.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Beth is really sick," Joey said, his voice teary.

"Aw honey," Rachel said.

"Jo is there, but I don't think there's anything she can do," Joey went on. Rachel gave him a big hug.

"You wanna put it in the freezer?" she asked.

"Yea," he nodded desolately.

"Okay," she replied, taking the book from him. She went over to Monica's fridge and put it in the freezer.

"Interesting," Emily noted. "I have a few books that could go in there too."

"Best place for them," Joey nodded.

"Well, I can't find it, so I guess I'll have to buy another one," Rachel sighed.

"Find what?" Joey asked.

"My hair dryer," she answered.

"I saw that," Joey told her.

"Where?"

"In our bathroom," Joey replied.

"What is it doing there?" Rachel asked, going over to get it. Joey followed.

"I dunno. Janice was using it this morning."

"Was she?"

"Yea. Monica gave it to Chandler," Joey shrugged.

"Hmmm," Rachel said, taking it.

"Maybe she didn't know it was yours," Joey suggested.

"Maybe," Rachel agreed. "Is that the time?! I'm late for my date with Ross." She scurried out the door, leaving Joey standing there scratching his head and imagining how Jo saves Beth from her illness.

 **A Week Later**

"Tell me I'm being crazy," Chandler said, coming into her apartment. Richard looked up at him with raised brows.

"You're being crazy," Richard replied on cue.

"Oh, it's you," Chandler muttered. "Where's Monica?"

"Showering," Richard answered.

"I'll come back," Chandler said.

"Wait, wait, wait," Richard called. "I happen to be a good listener too, you know." Chandler sighed and closed the door.

"Okay, so here's the thing. Janice is getting divorced, but she keeps hanging around her husband. She says it's because they have a child together, but I can't help but think it's more than that," Chandler explained. "Am I wrong? Am I just being insane?"

"Hmm well, I can see how disturbing that would appear," Richard mused.

"What should I do? Confront her?" Chandler asked.

"I think you should trust her," Richard said.

"Thanks a lot, you big tree," Chandler scowled, leaving in a huff. Monica came out just then and saw Richard sitting there looking amused.

"What?" she asked.

"Do I resemble a tree?" he inquired.

"No?" she said, confused.

"I thought so," he nodded.

 **Ross & Rachel**

"Wedding planning is hard," Rachel pouted. She and Ross were trying to finalize their venue, but there was so much to choose from.

"Well, we've got a lot done so far," Ross said, looking at their list. It was true.

"Maybe, but it just feels never ending," she sighed. "Have you gotten a suit yet?"

"No," he answered. He kept meaning to, but something always came up.

"Emily is willing to help you when you're ready," Rachel said. "I don't know if it's bad luck for me to see your suit."

"I don't think that's how it works," Ross laughed.

"Still," she said. "I'd rather not."

"All right," he smiled, kissing her. After a few moments, they gave up on the venue and went to the bedroom to something far more productive.

 **Joey & Phoebe**

"I can't believe she took my song and ditched me," Phoebe moaned. Leslie had tricked her like always. She should have known that woman didn't really want to be partners again. She just wanted another jingle idea.

"She's a bitch," Joey nodded. He was debating about taking her hand, but he honestly wasn't sure if that was appropriate right now.

"I'm writing a new song," Phoebe told him.

"Oh yea?"

"Yea. I'm calling it 'Jingle Bitch is a Witch.' Too much?"

"Nope. Sounds about right," Joey grinned. He watched her write the lyrics down on paper. He admired her creativity sometimes. He looked at the way her hair draped over her face as she worked. His mind starting going elsewhere when Chandler came bursting in. Joey jumped as though he'd gotten caught doing something wrong.

"She's cheating on me!" Chandler shouted.

"What?" Joey asked. "How do you know?"

"I saw them in the park. He hugged her!" Chandler yelled.

"Rat bastard!" Phoebe cried.

"He hugged her? Dude, that's not cheating," Joey said, confused.

"For all I know, they just finished a quickie in the park bathroom," Chandler growled.

"You need to chill out," Joey said. "She's being amicable with her ex for their child. She's not cheating."

"You're one to talk," Chandler snapped.

"Hey! Whoa! I might sleep around, but I'm no cheater," Joey said angrily.

"I think you need to talk to her," Phoebe suggested. "Chandler, you really need to."

"What if she says yes?" Chandler fumed. "What then?"

"Then you either fight for her or let her go," Joey answered.

"That's the worst advice I've ever heard," Chandler scoffed.

"I know where I'm not wanted," Joey said, getting up. He was hurt by Chandler's words, but he did realize his friend was suffering in pain and wasn't fully thinking. Chandler sat beside Phoebe, radiating anger.

"Is this really all about Janice?" Phoebe asked.

"Of course it is!" he snapped.

"You sure? Or is it that Monica got back with Richard?"

"Wha-? No. I don't care about that," Chandler said carefully.

"Really? So the little digs you make about Richard are nothing?" she prodded.

"I dig, Phoebe. You know that," he huffed.

"No, you make a joke and then move on. With Richard it's constant. I think you still have feelings for Monica," Phoebe said.

"I do not! I love Janice! She's cheating on me, and I'm devastated."

"All right," Phoebe agreed. "Then go talk to her."

"I will," he said, getting up hastily. He ran off. Phoebe went back to her lyrics. Chandler's anger had rubbed off on her, and she came up with some great lines for her song.

 **Monica & Richard**

"Should we be doing this here?" Richard asked, concerned. "Won't your roommate be home?"

"She's in England," Monica replied, kissing him. They were on her couch getting busy when they heard the shouting. Monica stopped and looked at Richard.

"What's that about?" he asked.

"I don't know," she said. She slid off him and went to the door. He wasn't far behind her. They went into the hall and stood outside Chandler's door.

"Need a glass?" she asked.

"I'm not that old," he snorted. "I can still eavesdrop properly." They pressed their ears against the door.

 **Chandler & Janice**

"What are you saying?!" Janice cried. She was standing there wringing her hands.

"I don't know. You tell me!" Chandler shouted. "What was with the hug in the park with the King?!"

"You think I'm cheating?! I'm not cheating on you!" she shrieked. "Chandler! How could you say that! How could you even think that!"

"I don't know! You've been with him a lot lately! Explain that!"

"We have a-"

"Without using the kid as a reason!" he bellowed. Janice blinked, tears forming and starting to fall.

"Chandler," she sniffled. "I'm not cheating."

"Maybe we should take a break," he suggested.

"Maybe you're right," she said. They stood there for a moment not saying anything.

"So what now?" he asked.

"I'll see you later," she replied, grabbing her purse and going to the door.

 **Monica & Richard**

"She's coming, she's coming!" Monica hissed. Richard yanked her back with him and they fell into her apartment just as Janice came out of Chandler's. She stared at them lying on the floor.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Trying something new," Richard replied. "It's called 'how fast can you do it with the door open before someone comes along.'" Monica gave her a nervous smile. Janice just huffed and stormed off. Monica crawled off of Richard and they sat up looking at one another.

"What do you think is gonna happen now?" Monica asked.

"I don't know," Richard replied.

 **Three Days Later**

"She's not returning my calls," Chandler moaned. He was lying on Monica's couch with Monica and Joey nearby.

"You told her you wanted a break," Joey pointed out. "What did you think a break meant?"

"I thought it meant take a couple of hours to clear our heads then move on," Chandler answered.

"Oh boy," Monica said, worried about his sanity.

"Hey, Chloe invited me to this club to listen to her DJ friend," Joey said. "Wanna come? Might take your mind off Janice."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Monica warned.

"No, it's a great idea," Chandler said. "I'll come."

"Fine. Don't listen to me," Monica huffed. She already knew it was a bad idea.

 **Ross**

"Do you really think this is the one?" Ross asked Emily. He was standing amidst all the suits she had brought him.

"I'm no genius, but yes, I think it is," she nodded. She stood back to examine him again. "How does it fit?"

"Like a glove," Ross admitted.

"Lots of room in those important places?" she asked.

"Loads," he agreed.

"Good. You look very sharp," Emily smiled. She brushed the dust off the shoulders of the jacket while he looked at himself in the mirror.

"Yea?"

"Yes. Rachel is a very lucky girl to be marrying such a fine gentleman," she told him.

"Thanks, Emily," Ross beamed at her. "How's Colin?" He knew from Rachel.

"He's...all right. I'm starting to feel he's not as committed as he's letting on," she sighed.

"I'm sorry," Ross said.

"What can I do? It's life. There will be another," she smiled. "Now, let me wrap this up for you, and you can cross 'getting a suit' off your list."

"Blimey!" Ross said happily

"You know, we don't say that as much as people think," Emily commented. Ross laughed nervously.

 **Later**

"Ugh," Phoebe groaned, sitting down next to Joey.

"What's up?" he asked. He had left Chandler upstairs getting ready for the club.

"My date's translator keeps getting in the way," she sighed.

"You're dating again?" Joey asked, surprised. She gave him a quizzical look.

"Of course. Why do you say it like that?"

"No reason," Joey said quickly.

"Joey, is there something you want to tell me?" she asked.

"N-no," he denied. "Nothing." She looked at him for a moment, deciding something.

"I think you're lying," she said.

"Nope. Not lying," he said nervously. "Oh! Look at the time!" He jumped up.

"Joey!" she called after him.

"Gotta go!" he shouted back. He hurried up to get Chandler. That had been way to close.

 **Later-Janice**

Monica had told her where to find him. She agreed with Janice that Chandler was being ridiculous and jealous, that he wanted to talk to her. Janice fought her way through the crowd, looking for him. She caught sight of him dancing with some bimbo with a belly button ring. She froze, watching. He was laughing with this girl, and she was touching him. Janice felt betrayed. She turned and fled, going to the one place she never thought she'd go. After knocking, the door opened, and her husband stood there.

"Hi," he said, surprised. She threw herself into his arms and kissed him passionately.

 **The Next Day**

"You really turned her down?" Joey asked. Chandler was across the counter from him, his hair standing up from the rough night of sleep he'd had.

"I did. Chloe is hot, but she's not Janice," Chandler said.

"Hey," Monica said, coming in. "Did Janice find you?"

"W-what?" he asked.

"Yea. She came by yesterday looking for you. I told her you were with Joey at the club," Monica answered. Chandler immediately panicked.

"Oh my God!" he shouted, grabbing his coat and running out the door.

"Isn't he gonna feel stupid when he realizes he's not dressed," Joey chuckled.

"Joey, what happened?" Monica demanded.

"He danced with this girl for a bit then we came home. He was alone when I tucked him in," Joey added.

"If Janice saw that," Monica trailed off. She didn't finish the sentence. She went back to her apartment, leaving Joey confused.

 **Later**

"Joey," Phoebe said, coming in. "We need to talk." He was sitting in his chair watching Baywatch, so he turned it off.

"Talk about what?" he asked.

"The other day," she answered. "You being all down about my dating."

"I wasn't down about it!" he argued. Phoebe went to reply when they heard shouting in the hall and fumbling at the door.

"Uh oh," Joey said. He grabbed Phoebe's hand and yanked her into his bedroom, shutting the door just as Chandler and Janice burst inside.

"Chandler, we need to talk about this!" Janice cried.

"How could you do that?!" Chandler shouted. "I don't want to be near you right now!"

"I thought you were with that girl!" Janice yelled at him. "I figured if you were gonna do it, then I should get to as well!"

"I didn't do anything!" Chandler said angrily. "I came home alone. Ask Joey!"

"Oh God, please don't," Joey mumbled on the other side of his door. Phoebe was beside him, listening.

"It doesn't matter! I made a mistake! Please, let's just talk about it!" Janice begged.

"All right," Chandler said "Let's talk about it. What was he like? Was he good?"

"Chandler..."

"No, no! You want to talk about it, so let's talk about it!" he yelled.

"What do we do?" Phoebe whispered to Joey.

"I think we're stuck here," he replied. They gave each other a look of horror.

 **Hours Later**

"Can you hear anything?" Phoebe asked. She was lying on Joey's bed.

"No," he answered. "The pizza came, but that was it."

"I am so hungry," Phoebe moaned. Joey went over to his dresser and pulled out a bag of cookies. He shook them above her head, grinning.

"I love you!" she exclaimed quietly. They agreed it was best Chandler and Janice didn't know that they were there listening.

"Really?" Joey asked. Phoebe grew quiet then. "I...I mean of course you do! I'm your friend."

"Joey," she said. "Do you have feelings for me?" He fiddled with the cookie bag. "Joey?"

"All right," he caved. "Lately I've been thinking of you as more than just a friend. Maybe it's wrong, but it keeps happening, and I don't know how to stop it or change it. I'm sorry." He sank down onto the bed, looking worried.

"Don't be sorry," Phoebe said, moving to sit next to him. "I've cared for you too."

"That sounds like past tense," Joey pointed out.

"Well, it was two years ago that I was in love with you," Phoebe said.

"Two years?!" Joey yelped.

"Shhhh!" Phoebe ordered, putting her finger over his lips.

"Two years?" he said again quietly once she removed her finger.

"Yea. Then you took back the kiss..."

"Oh God," Joey moaned.

"...so I figured you weren't interested in me. I started moving on after that," she finished.

"That's when I started liking you," Joey confessed. She stared at him.

"You're kidding," she said in disbelief.

"No, I'm not. Then you were with these guys, and it killed me inside," Joey told her.

"I noticed you hadn't been dating," Phoebe mused.

"I hadn't felt like it. I couldn't stop thinking about you," he replied.

"Oh," she said, covering her mouth with her hand.

"So, what now?" he asked.

"I don't know," she answered.

"Do you still have feelings for me?" he prompted.

"Possibly," she nodded. He felt nervous then. This was new territory for him. Loud crying started up in the other room, so they paused, listening.

"Poor Chandler," Phoebe said.

"Yea," Joey agreed, opening the bag. "Cookie?"

 **Chandler & Janice**

"I can't look at you without seeing him," Chandler said. Janice kept sniffling.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"No, I'm sorry," he said.

"I still love you," she tried.

"I just can't, Janice," he said. "Please, you gotta go." She waited a moment more in case he changed his mind, but once she realized he wasn't going to, she got up sadly. He watched her walk towards the door and leave, walking out of his life forever.

 **3 a.m.**

"You know," Joey said. "It's three a.m. and I'm not home. Shouldn't he have been worried?"

"Some people are self absorbed," Phoebe replied. They were lying side by side on the bed together.

"Back to you and me," Joey said, propping himself on one arm. "What do we do?"

"I don't know. Maybe we should just go on a few dates first?" Phoebe suggested.

"Okay," he nodded. "I like that idea." She smiled at him.

"Hey," she said suddenly. "I don't hear anything."

"Let's see," Joey said. They opened his door, and there was no one in the living room. Phoebe tiptoed to the door.

"See you later," she whispered.

"I'll call you," he promised. She smiled and went out the door. He fist pumped once she was gone. He was going on a date with Phoebe Buffay!

 **I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading! I have so much more planned *rubs hands together gleefully***


	16. Chapter 16

"Chandler, put that out," Joey ordered. Chandler had his head hanging out of the window with smoke billowing around him.

"No," Chandler grunted. "I'm in mourning. I'm entitled."

"Your lungs," Joey shrugged. He went back to his cereal. It had been four days since he and Phoebe talked about going on a date. He was nervous about calling her up for one, and he wasn't sure why. He wanted to ask Chandler, but he didn't think it would be appropriate to talk about it just now since Chandler had lost Janice.

"Come on," Joey called to him. "Let's go get some coffee or something. You can't stay holed up in here forever."

"Yes, I can," Chandler argued.

"We're going," Joey ordered. Chandler came into the kitchen, making Joey wrinkle his nose.

"What?" Chandler demanded.

"You smell like my grandmother," Joey replied.

"Oh that's nice," Chandler snorted.

 **Later**

"So, my sister told me about this cabin," Rachel was saying. "Did you guys want to go skiing?" The gang looked at one another.

"Come on," Ross cajoled. "It'll be fun!" He wasn't sure how much skiing they'd actually be doing, and from Rachel's looks to him, she was on the same page. They needed some time away from wedding planning.

"I am unfortunately stuck helping my sister," Richard said.

"You don't mind if I go?" Monica asked him.

"Not at all," Richard smiled.

"I dunno," Phoebe said. "I've had a bad experience with skiing. One time, I stayed on the lift cos I was afraid to jump."

"We kinda need you to drive," Ross pointed out.

"Oh, then I guess okay," Phoebe nodded.

"I'll go," Joey said quickly. He was thinking this could turn into a date. Phoebe got his message and winked.

"No," Chandler said. He was at Ross' window smoking.

"Oh come on," Rachel said.

"Yea, and shut the window," Joey ordered. "My nipples could cut glass over here."

"Really? Mine get me out of tickets," Phoebe smirked. Joey gave her a surprised look but blushed all the same. Then he couldn't stop thinking about her using her breasts to get out of tickets.

"Chandler, you gotta come," Ross said. "You need to get out of this funk."

"What funk?" Chandler asked, cigarette dangling from his lips.

"At least go for the fresh air," Phoebe suggested. Chandler snorted.

"I'm fine with polluted air thank you," he said.

"You're going even if we have to hog tie you," Ross warned.

"Fine. I'll go, but you can't make me ski," Chandler said.

 **Day of the ski trip**

"Honey? You ready?" Rachel called. Ross came out looking disappointed. "What's wrong?"

"There's been a crisis at work. I can't go," he told her.

"What?"

"I know! I am so bummed. Apparently some hooligans took the liberty of defiling the Stone Age," Ross moaned.

"Oh my," Rachel said, smirking a little.

"You go though," he urged. "Take the break. I'll be fine here."

"Really?" she asked. "I feel bad..."

"Don't. Have a good time for both of us. I'll see you when you get back," he said. She gave him a kiss.

"I'll miss you," she said.

"And I you. Now, I better hurry over there before anything else happens," he sighed.

 **Later-On the side of the road**

"How could you leave the keys in there?!" Monica shouted.

"Hey, it could happen to anybody," Joey said, protecting Phoebe.

"Anyone got a lighter?" Chandler asked.

"Chandler!" Rachel admonished. "You're supposed to be quitting!"

"That wasn't on my to do list," Chandler replied. He hovered by the exhaust pipe, trying to get the tip of his cigarette hot enough.

"I can fix this," Joey said, ignoring them. "Anyone got a coat hanger?"

"Shucks darn," Chandler commented. "I left mine at home with the closet."

"So if your parents hadn't divorced, you'd answer a question like a normal person?" Monica asked.

"Pretty much," Chandler nodded.

"Okay, so next is the wire from someone's bra," Joey said.

"What?!" Rachel exclaimed.

"No way!" Monica added.

"Come on. Who's got the biggest boobs?" he asked, looking at them. "Biggest boobs equals biggest wire."

"Mine are non-existent," Monica said.

"I stuff mine," Rachel piped up. Joey gave her a surprised look.

"Really?" he asked. "You'd still have the biggest bra though."

"I stuff the outside," she corrected.

"All right, someone take of Rachel's bra," Joey ordered.

"Oh all right," Phoebe said, reaching into her shirt. He watched in amazement as she just popped it out through her sleeve.

"Nice," he nodded, giving her an approving look. She winked covertly. He set to work, trying not to think about how Phoebe's breasts were touching the wire in his hands.

"Yay!" she cried when he opened the door. The others piled into the car while Joey handed the wire back to her.

"You can keep it," she said. "Souvenir."

"All right," he agreed, pocketing it. She gave him a sultry look before getting into the car. Joey went around the other side pleased with himself.

 **Later**

"Chandler, put that damn thing out or I'll...I'll..." Rachel couldn't seem to find the words to finish.

"You'll what? Ground me?" Chandler taunted.

"I'll take you off best man duty," Rachel said finally, looking triumphant.

"You wouldn't," Chandler said, scrutinizing her.

"I would," she replied, crossing her arms and giving him a tough look.

"I thought I was the best man," Joey piped in, looking concerned.

"You are now," Rachel nodded.

"Hey! I haven't even lit this yet!" Chandler complained. Rachel looked at him with a raised brow. He flicked his lighter and lit it up. He took in a big drag and exhaled with a look of bliss on his face.

"Okay, now you can give it to him," he said. Joey got excited.

"Isn't Ross going to be upset?" Monica asked Rachel.

"He'll get over it," Rachel dismissed. "Anything to get Chandler to stop smoking."

"But it didn't, and now he's not Ross' best man," Monica pointed out.

"Oh...right," Rachel said, her brow furrowed.

"Hee hee!" Phoebe giggled, coming in. "Someone left behind a free massage pass!" She held it up for them to see.

"No way!" Rachel cried.

"So who gets to use it?" Monica asked.

"Um, well, me, since I found it," Phoebe said.

"Let's compare boob sizes again and the winner gets it," Joey chimed in, nodding emphatically with a grin on his face.

"NO!" all three girls shouted at him. He deflated.

"Whoever is the most miserable should get it," Chandler said from the window. "Oh, look, that's me!"

"You are not getting this pass," Rachel said. "Your misery is self-inflicted."

"Oh, really?" he asked. "Janice picking the King over me was self-inflicted was it?"

"I take it back, I take it back!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Well, I am a massage therapist, so it's only fair that I get a massage," Phoebe said.

"How is that fair?" Monica asked.

"I'm getting married in a few months. That should trump all of you," Rachel pointed out.

"I will never have a baby, so I should get it," Monica threw in. Then she froze. Phoebe and Chandler were gaping at her. She'd forgotten she hadn't told them yet.

"Mon, is that true?" Phoebe asked.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Chandler asked at the same time. He was astonished. He had no idea. No wonder she had been so upset a while ago. Joey rubbed the back of his neck and looked away while Rachel became suddenly interested in the ceiling.

"Wait, they know?" Phoebe challenged, seeing this.

"They caught me at a bad time," Monica answered. "I wasn't planning on telling anyone."

"So that's it. You can't have kids?" Chandler asked.

"Nope," Monica replied, shaking her head.

"That's why you're back with Richard!" Phoebe cried, putting it together.

"That's not the only reason I'm back with Richard," Monica said, exasperated. "I love him."

"But it was a big factor," Phoebe said.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Chandler said, getting up and leaving the group. Monica felt terrible he had found out this way.

"Chandler," she tried before he slammed the door.

"You are definitely not getting this pass now," Phoebe huffed, going to her room and slamming the door too. Monica sat there at a loss for words.

"They'll get over it," Rachel reassured her.

"I should have just told them," Monica said.

"It was too personal at the time, I get it," Rachel soothed. Monica didn't feel reassured at all. She felt like she was a horrible person.

"Mon, it's okay," Joey said, getting up to hug her. "They can be mad all they want. It's up to you who you tell stuff to."

"I just need to be alone right now, okay?" Monica said, going to her room and closing the door gently. Then she slid down the door until she was sitting and cried.

 **Phoebe & Joey**

Joey knocked on her door softly, calling her name. She opened it.

"Hey," he said.

"What do you want?" she asked angrily.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It was Monica's news, not mine. It was a complete accident I found out anyway," Joey explained.

"Why couldn't she tell me?" Phoebe asked, getting upset now. "Am I that hard to be real with?"

"No, no," Joey said as she turned and went to sit on the bed, crying. "Monica was trying to deal with it herself before making it public. I just...I caught her in the midst of crying and asked why."

"That's not really making me feel better," Phoebe sniffed.

"Sorry," Joey said, hanging his head.

"I appreciate you trying," she said. "But I just want to be alone right now."

"Okay," he agreed, leaving quietly.

"So," Rachel said when he came back to the living room. "Wanna go skiing?"

 **The Next Day**

It was a quiet ride back home. Monica hadn't come out of her room the entire trip. Chandler had to so he could continue smoking. Phoebe went for the massage because Rachel felt it was only fair since Monica had told her and not Phoebe about the baby thing. Joey had actually enjoyed skiing. He had even gotten Phoebe to go down a few small hills. Chandler flat out refused and sat there puffing away while watching.

"You think if I made him eat them all, he'd stop?" Joey had asked Rachel after a while.

"I doubt it," Rachel had shrugged.

Phoebe stopped outside of Central Perk and waited for Monica, Joey, and Chandler to get out. She hadn't felt like talking. She felt bad that she and Joey hadn't had more alone time like she'd hoped for aside from the skiing. He had taken the opportunity to touch her butt a few times while demonstrating how to ski, and she found she had enjoyed that. She pulled away with Rachel, leaving the other three standing there unsure of what to do or say. Chandler eventually turned to go up to his apartment without a word.

"I don't believe this," Monica said. "He's not going to talk to me?"

"I'm gonna get some coffee," Joey said, gesturing that she follow Chandler. She hurried up the stairs behind Chandler.

"Hey!" she called. He stopped without turning. "What's your problem?"

"What's my problem?" he snapped, looking at her finally. "My problem is my best friend didn't feel she could tell me the most devastating news she'd ever gotten."

"I said I was sorry..." Monica started.

"Yea, well, that doesn't take it back," Chandler scoffed.

"What do you want from me then?" Monica asked.

"Nothing," Chandler answered. "I want nothing from you." He turned and kept going up the stairs. Monica stood there feeling empty and very sad inside. How was she ever going to fix this?

 **A Week Later**

"How could Frank be getting married to that old spinster?!" Phoebe shouted, slamming the door to Monica's apartment. Monica stood in the middle of the living room, looking surprised.

"What?" Phoebe asked, noticing this.

"You're talking to me again?" Monica asked.

"Oh. Right. Damn it. Oh well. You had your reasons," Phoebe said, waving her hand dismissively. "Consider it forgotten. Now, tell me what to do!" Monica wanted to point out how angry Phoebe had been, but she decided against it. Why make things worse? Now it was just Chandler who was ignoring her.

"How old is the woman?" Monica asked, sitting down beside Phoebe at the table.

"Like three times his age!" Phoebe raged. "She was his teacher in high school! She should know better!"

"Okay, sweetie, take a breath," Monica said. Phoebe inhaled and exhaled.

"Nope, still pissed off," she responded.

"I don't really think there's anything you can do. Frank is an adult, and he can make his own choices," Monica told her.

"But he's making the wrong choice!" Phoebe shouted.

"It may look that way, but in his mind, he's not. Phoebs, you gotta just be happy for him," Monica said.

"Okay, I'm not talking to you again," Phoebe said, getting up and leaving.

"Aw Phoebe!" Monica called after her. "Damn it." She dropped her head onto the table in defeat.

 **Chandler**

"This is going to make you stop smoking," Rachel said, handing him a tape. Chandler stuck it on his arm and watched it fall off.

"That's the worst patch I've ever seen," he commented.

"It's a tape, Chandler," Rachel sighed. "It's hypnosis. A girl from work did it, and she hasn't smoked again."

"Really? Hypnosis? I'm not gullible," Chandler snorted.

"Just try it," Rachel pleaded.

"Why do you care that I stop smoking?" Chandler demanded.

"Because it's not healthy and you're my friend and I don't want you to die from lung cancer," Rachel said quickly.

"I see," he replied. "Fine, I'll try it. If it means that much to you."

"Thank you!" she cried, hugging him tightly.

"Can't...breathe..." he choked out. She released him.

"I'll know if you're not listening to it," she warned.

"Okay thanks, Mom," Chandler retorted. He pocketed the tape and stood to leave. He had seen Monica at the door.

"Chandler..." Rachel tried, seeing Monica too.

"No. Just leave it," Chandler said. He pushed past Monica at the entrance. She desperately worked hard not to cry. Chandler ran up to his apartment and tried not to think about the look that had been on her face. He was still angry at her. He didn't know if he even could move on from this one.

 **The Next Day-Monica**

"He is still furious with me," Monica said to Richard. They were at his apartment lying in bed. She was on her back staring at the ceiling.

"I'm sure he'll get over it eventually," Richard reassured her.

"I don't think he will. You should have seen his face..."

"It was like his parents getting a divorce all over again. I know," Richard finished for her. He'd heard it a few times already.

"I'm sorry. I'm obsessing aren't I?" she asked, looking at him.

"You miss your friend. That's okay," he said.

"I do. I miss him. How can I fix this?" she questioned, propping herself up onto her elbow and facing him.

"I don't know, honey," Richard sighed.

"Me either," she said sadly. Richard twiddled his thumbs for a moment before changing the subject.

"So this 20,000 dollar check..." he started.

"It was a joke!" Monica laughed.

"You sure? Seems like a big joke," Richard commented. He was worried about this guy.

"I am not interested," Monica told him, sensing this was what he was thinking.

"Pete Becker is a very wealthy guy," Richard pointed out. "He'd buy you a restaurant I'll bet."

"Richard!" Monica giggled. "I have you. I don't need anyone else, even if they are a millionaire."

"Well that's comforting," he said. She cuddled into him further, and he put his arm around her, kissing her cheek.

"You wanna meet him?" she asked.

"Okay," he agreed.

 **Ross & Rachel**

"Hey, honey," Rachel called.

"Yea?" Ross said, sticking his head around the door of the bathroom.

"How do you feel about Joey being your best man?" she asked, wincing.

"Chandler is my best man," Ross said, confused.

"Yea, well, he wouldn't stop smoking, so I revoked it and gave it to Joey," Rachel explained.

"Rach!"

"I'm sorry! I really thought it would work," Rachel lamented.

"I have to fix it don't I?" Ross asked.

"Uh huh," Rachel nodded.

"All right," Ross sighed. This wasn't going to be easy.

 **Monica's Apartment**

Phoebe and Joey were sitting at the table at Central Perk talking to Rachel when Chandler poked his head in from outside.

"Is she here?" he asked.

"Oh, Chandler," Rachel said, exasperated. "Just come in."

"Answer the question, woman," Chandler ordered. Rachel exhaled loudly.

"She's not here," she told him.

"There, was that so hard?" Chandler asked, coming all the way in.

"Nice briefcase," Phoebe noted.

"Thanks. I don't remember the combination. I just carry it around to look cool," Chandler shrugged. "Anyone got some chapstick?"

"I do," Phoebe said, digging into her purse and pulling it out. Chandler took it from her.

"How are the tapes?" Rachel asked.

"Great! I don't feel the need to smoke at all today," Chandler replied. "You look stunning, by the way."

"Oh my," Rachel said. They all watched as he applied the chapstick in a ladylike way then pressed his lips against a napkin.

"What?" he asked, noticing their stares.

"Dude," Joey said, gesturing. Chandler looked at the napkin for a second before folding it and putting it into his pants pocket.

"I'll see you later," he said, loping out the door.

"Is he becoming a woman?" Phoebe asked, laughing.

"That's ridiculous," Rachel scoffed.

"Oh, I'm late for my 'Talking Frank out of marrying Alice' meeting," Joey said. "See you guys later."

"Phoebs, you really think having Joey talk to Frank is a good idea?" Rachel asked.

"Why not? He's single and has a way with the ladies. I'm hoping he'll show Frank all that and make him forget Alice," Phoebe explained.

"Oh, honey. I admire your optimism," Rachel said.

"Thanks!" Phoebe smiled.

"I gotta get to work. Let me know how it goes, okay?"

"Sure. Go sell some clothes!" Phoebe called after her, making Rachel laugh to herself.

 **Later**

"You're Frank's best man?!" Phoebe said, appalled. Joey nodded enthusiastically. It had been Ross' proposition since he had taken Chandler back as his best man again.

"His love is so pure. I'm actually jealous," he told her. She turned to Ross.

"And you?"

"I'm the ring bearer," he said sheepishly. It was the deal he made with Joey as a way of punishment for taking the best man position away from him.

"I...wha-" Phoebe started. Chandler walking past wrapped in a towel under his armpits with a towel on his head made her stop talking. Ross and Joey stared after him.

"What the hell is on those tapes?" Ross demanded.

"Nothing good!" Joey exclaimed.

 **Monica**

"Is he coming today?" Richard asked. He wanted to see the man who thought he could buy his girlfriend.

"He'll be here," Monica laughed. "Have patience."

"Patience is my middle name," Richard told her.

"There he is," Monica said suddenly. "Be cool!"

"I'm always cool," he said, faking a hurt expression.

"Hey," Pete said to Monica. "The usual."

"Coming up," she replied. There was a moment of silence before Pete spoke again.

"So?"

"So what?" Monica asked.

"Did I tip too much? I have a problem with that," Pete laughed.

"Oh this?" Monica commented, pulling out the check. "Yea, just a bit." She slid it over to him.

"I don't understand," Pete said. "This is for you." He looked up at her.

"I'm not interested," she told him.

"There's a connection between us," Pete said. "I can feel it."

"No, there isn't," Monica said firmly.

"Give it a chance," Pete begged.

"The lady said no, so back off already," Richard piped in. Pete stared at him.

"Oh okay. Who's this then? Someone you paid to scare me off?" Pete snorted. "What's she paying you? I'll double it."

"She pays me with sex," Richard told him. Pete paled.

"O-oh?"

"Yea," Richard confirmed. Pete looked at Monica for her response.

"I do," she smiled. "Pete, meet Richard, my boyfriend."

"H-hi," Pete stuttered. "I'm so sorry. I wouldn't have..."

"It's all right," Richard said. "My girlfriend is hot. I get it." Pete blushed scarlet.

"I'll just go," he said to Monica. "Sorry for wasting your time."

"Bye, Pete," Monica called as he left. She gave Richard a look.

"What?" he asked.

"'She pays me in sex?'" she inquired. "Where did that come from?"

"I'm just a funny guy," Richard smiled. Monica shook her head and laughed at him. She really had lucked out.

 **Even Later**

"I am the WORST person in the world!" Phoebe shouted, slamming the door behind her.

"You're talking to me again?" Monica asked hopefully.

"Yea, I guess I am," Phoebe huffed. Monica did a little happy dance in her chair before Phoebe's glare cut her off.

"So, why are you the worst person in the world?" Monica asked after clearing her throat.

"I made Alice tell Frank he was too young for her, and now he's in the worst pain in the world. I did that. Me. What am I going to do?" Phoebe asked, falling into the chair beside Monica's.

"I think you should talk to Alice again," Monica suggested.

"Yea! Maybe she can explain it to him better!" Phoebe said, getting excited.

"No, no that's not what I meant..." Monica tried. Phoebe was already out the door. "Oh, man," Monica groaned.

 **The Next Day-Joey**

"Hey," he said, seeing Phoebe come into the cafe. She looked rough. "How did it go?"

"They started making out," Phoebe sighed, sitting down beside him. "I think the wedding is back on."

"When two people are in love like that, it's best not to think you can change it," Joey said, patting her leg.

"Maybe you're right," Phoebe agreed. She looked at him and smiled.

"So," he said.

"So," she echoed.

"What about us?" he asked. He'd been wanting to for a while, but she had been so worked up about Frank that he didn't want to add more to her plate.

"Hmm that's a good question," she nodded. "What are you thinking?"

"Dinner?" he suggested.

"I like dinner," she smiled.

"I'll pick you up at six?"

"Sure," she agreed.

"Hey, I know what's on those tapes," he said eagerly. He told her, and she burst out laughing.

"Oh my God!"

"I know! I'm gonna record over it so tonight he'll hear my voice telling him what to do," Joey sniggered.

"That's brilliant," Phoebe said, high fiving him.

 **Rachel & Ross**

Rachel groaned in frustration, her head in her hands pulling back her hair tightly. Ross came up behind her and looked over her shoulder.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter where I put people someone is going to have a fight," Rachel moaned.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, my own parents for starters. They can't be in the same room without screaming at each other. Then there's Aunt Ruth who claims Aunt Jane stole her expensive perfume from her purse ten years ago and hasn't ever let it go. Then cousin Steve hates my sister's boyfriend, and Jill isn't really talking to Uncle Martin, and one of the waiters slept with my cousin Stacy and never called her back so she really can't sit anywhere..."

"Okay, whoa!" Ross said, taking her hands in his. She looked at him with an exhausted expression. "This is our day, do you hear me? Our day. Everyone else can just suck it up for one day. This day is about you and me, and that's all that matters."

"You're right," she said, exhaling heavily. "You're absolutely right."

"So," Ross said, moving the names around on the seating chart. "These people can just sit where we damn well put them."

"I love you," Rachel said suddenly, reaching out and touching his face.

"I love you too," he replied, kissing the palm of her hand. For a moment, everything felt at peace.

 **Chandler**

He was picking up his paper in the hall when Monica's door opened. He went to jump back into his apartment when he saw it was Emily.

"Oh, you're back," he said. She smiled.

"Yes. For a week or two anyway," she replied. They stood in the hall awkwardly for a moment.

"So, I'll see you around," Chandler said, turning to go back inside.

"She really misses you, you know," Emily said suddenly. He turned back. "Like REALLY misses you. I hear her crying at night because she wants you to be her friend again. She really is sorry. If it were me, I wouldn't have told many people either. I truly believe the others found out by accident. Try to forgive her, okay?"

"Uh, okay. This isn't any of your business," Chandler scoffed.

"I know. Who am I, right? Just think about it," Emily suggested before going back inside. He stood there fiddling with the paper in his hands before going back inside.

 **A Week Later**

"Hey, Monica?" Emily asked when she came out of the bathroom.

"Yea?"

"Chandler was here. He left you this," Emily said, handing her a piece of paper.

"Oh, thanks," Monica said. Emily smiled and went back to her newspaper. Monica opened the note and saw the familiar handwriting.  
 **Mon, I know why you didn't tell me. I'm sorry I disregarded your pain like that. I was so wrapped up in my own pain that I forgot other people could hurt too. I decided to imagine myself in your position, and I get it completely. I wouldn't tell me either. I believe you didn't mean for the others to find out. I'm sorry. Forgive me?  
**

"Something good then?" Emily asked, noticing Monica's smile.

"Yea. Something really good," Monica replied. She folded the note back up and walked to her bedroom to put it away.

"Good boy," Emily smiled to herself.

* * *

 **I don't know how I feel about this chapter. Kind of felt like a filler until things get moving along. Still hope you enjoyed it! I like hearing what you think!**


	17. Chapter 17

_This was really nice, but I'm not sure if I feel the spark..._

Joey was haunted by these words. His dinner with Phoebe had ended in a way he hadn't expected. She told him she didn't feel a spark, the magic. How could that be? He was brilliant at the spark. He could call up ten girls that would agree with him.

"Hey, man," Chandler said, coming into the apartment. He noticed Joey's subdued mood as he was leaning on the counter top.

"Hey," Joey replied.

"What's up?"

"I have a spark, right?" he asked.

"Uh...sure," Chandler agreed. He had no idea what his friend was talking about.

"See, that's what I thought," Joey mused.

"The play getting to you?" Chandler asked. Joey had been practising a lot lately.

"No, no. I just...was on a date, and she said I didn't give off a spark," Joey snorted. "Dumb, right?"

"I wouldn't know. I'm not a girl," Chandler responded. "Maybe take her out again?"

"She didn't want to," Joey replied. "Man, I really thought there was something there."

"I'm sorry, Joe," Chandler said, patting his shoulder as he passed. He went to change out of his gym shorts. Joey traced the counter with his finger absently. He wasn't sure how to feel right now.

 **Rachel, Phoebe, & Monica**

"Oohh that's a real nice one," Phoebe encouraged as Rachel came out and modeled a wedding dress.

"I don't know, you guys. It just doesn't have the right feel," Rachel said, looking at her backside in the mirror.

"This could be a long day," Monica muttered, pouring herself another glass of wine.

"She gave us decent bridesmaids dresses. She can take four days to pick a wedding dress, and I won't complain," Phoebe said through her fake smile to Rachel.

"That's a good point," Monica nodded. Rachel went back to the dressing room to pick another dress.

"So I was on a date last night," Phoebe said.

"Oh yea?" Monica asked, taking another swig.

"Yea. With Joey." Monica spewed her wine everywhere and gave Phoebe a stunned look.

"You what?!" she asked, her eyes wide.

"Yea. You know. We went on a date," Phoebe shrugged.

"Oh my God! When did you decide to do that?!" Monica demanded.

"When Chandler broke up with Janice. We were stuck in Joey's room," Phoebe answered.

"Wow. So, you just decided to start dating? Without telling us?!"

"I didn't realize I needed the board's approval," Phoebe sniffed.

"Well, no, but a little head's up would have been nice," Monica huffed. "So, how did it go?"

"Not great," Phoebe answered.

"Oh no," Monica said. "Why not?"

"I think I may have built it up in my head to be bigger than it was," Phoebe sighed. "I just didn't feel it, you know? I was sitting across from him and kept thinking, this is Joey. My friend, Joey. What the hell am I doing?!"

"Does he know you feel this way?"

"I told him there was no spark. I think it crushed him," Phoebe said sadly.

"I like this one!" Rachel called, coming out.

"Don't say a word," Phoebe warned.

"My lips are sealed," Monica whispered back. She turned to Rachel. "That's gorgeous, Rach!" Rachel spun for them.

"I really, really like this one," she beamed. It was long and loose with lace sleeves and lace that went across the swoop at the neckline. The bodice had flowery beading on it.

"I love it," Phoebe grinned.

"Me too," Monica agreed.

"Yea? Oh my God, you guys. I think I just found my dress!" Rachel squealed. The saleswoman was suddenly all over them from nowhere.

"Would you like me to wrap this up for you?" she asked.

"Let me take it off first," Rachel joked. She followed the woman to the back.

"So are you guys gonna be okay?" Monica asked, getting back to the Joey drama.

"I think so. We got through the last time."

"The...the what now?" Monica asked, not hearing her correctly.

"Oh. He kissed me when he was drunk and then took it back," Phoebe said casually. Monica gaped at her.

"When was that?!"

"When he had moved out of Chandler's place," Phoebe answered.

"This has been going on since then?!"

"Oh, I've had the hots for Joey since he dated Ursula," Phoebe laughed.

"Y-you...you...wow," Monica trailed off.

"I know right? Now I'm thinking I made it all bigger and better in my head than it really is," Phoebe mused.

"My head hurts," Monica groaned, holding it tightly with her hands.

"I'm getting so close to getting everything done!" Rachel squealed excitedly. "It has taken me forever to find the right dress. Now I can focus on the other stuff."

"Great," Monica said absently. She got up to follow Rachel to the cashier. Phoebe trailed behind her.

"Mon?" Phoebe asked.

"This isn't over," Monica told her sharply before turning back to Rachel and plastering a smile on her face.

 **Later**

"I hate this woman!" Joey said angrily. He was with Ross and Chandler at the Perk. He had come from the set where he had been ridiculed all day.

"She sounds mean," Ross agreed.

"She got everyone to ask me to help open their drinks, and when I can't do it, they laugh at me!"

"Ouch," Chandler winced.

"Damn infomercial," Joey muttered.

"You want me to go down there and put her in her place?" Chandler asked.

"No. That would make it all worse," Joey sighed.

"Hi, sweetie," Rachel said, coming inside and giving Ross a kiss. "I found my dress."

"That's great!" Ross replied enthusiastically. She hugged him tightly. Monica and Phoebe came in looking exhausted.

"Long day?" Chandler asked, noticing. Joey shrank in his seat when he saw Phoebe. Monica caught this and gave Phoebe a pointed look.

"No. I didn't sleep the greatest last night," Monica lied.

"That's too bad," Ross commented.

"I gotta go," Joey said, getting up. "I have to rehearse."

"See you," Chandler nodded. Monica gave Phoebe a kick in the shin and tilted her head in Joey's direction with a meaningful look.

"All right," Phoebe said. The kick had hurt, but she wasn't about to show that. She followed Joey outside, calling after him.

"Ah, hey," he said, turning around to face her.

"You can't let things be weird between us," Phoebe instructed. "We gave it a try, and it didn't work. Now we know."

"Did it really not work, though?" Joey asked. "I thought I felt something."

"I...didn't. Joey, I'm sorry. If I could make myself feel something, I would," Phoebe told him. She looked at him sadly.

"All right," he said, bowing his head slightly. "Thanks anyway." He turned to go. Phoebe let him. She didn't know what else to say to him.

 **The Next Day**

"You look at me and nothin'!" Joey was saying. He pulls Kate in for a kiss and pulls back. "Nothing!"

"That's a wrap for today," the director called. Chandler stepped out from behind the set and headed over to Joey.

"Nice work!" he said, clapping Joey's shoulder.

"Thanks, man. I just gotta grab my stuff from the back," Joey said, leaving. Chandler saw Kate across the stage, and he wandered over.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Lay off Joey," he answered. She was taken aback.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Stop making fun of him. He takes his work seriously," Chandler went on. "You are being mean and childish, and I think as a mature adult, you should knock it off while you're ahead."

"Aren't you a tough guy?" she scoffed.

"Hey, Chandler?" Joey called. "I'm ready."

"That man is my best friend, and I will not stand by while you ridicule him. I will find dirt on you, and I will use it if you don't knock it off," Chandler warned.

"Oohh I'm so scared," Kate mocked. Chandler gave her one last glare before turning to go out with Joey.

"What did you say to her?" Joey asked, fearful.

"I complimented her on her acting skills," Chandler answered. He felt her eyes on him as he walked away. He was confident he had gotten to her.

 **Monica & Phoebe**

"Okay, Mon, you need to let this go. I have," Phoebe said. Monica was still going on about Joey.

"Should I ask why this shirt is under my bed?" Emily asked, coming out with a small t-shirt. She turned it around so they could see.

"It's Ross'," Monica told her. "Although, I don't think he could fit into that anymore."

"Frankie Says Relax," Emily read. "I feel relaxed already."

"I'll give it back to him. I think Rachel is the one who really wears it," Monica laughed. Emily handed it over to her.

"Still commuting huh?" Phoebe asked.

"Yea," Emily sighed. "They seem to value my work here too much to let me do my own thing in England. Colin is getting impatient."

"If he truly loves you, he'll be patient," Monica reassured her.

"It's more if I really love him," Emily said, tapping her finger to her cheek. "I'm not so sure anymore."

"There," Phoebe said. "You can focus on that now instead of me."

"Phoebs," Monica said. "I still think you should try again."

"No! End of discussion," Phoebe responded firmly. She got up and left.

"Joey not happy with her decision?" Emily asked.

"How did you know?" Monica asked.

"He told me all about it yesterday. He needed to get it off his chest apparently," Emily smiled. "I'm not to say anything."

"Me either. Oh it's so lovely to be able to talk to someone about it," Monica gushed.

"I think those crazy kids will figure it out," Emily said. "I think they just need more time."

 **A Week Later**

"I think I'm going crazy," Chandler said to Phoebe.

"Why's that?"

"I can't stop thinking about Kate. She took my advice and started leaving Joey alone, but now we have this friction between us where she looks at me after she kisses Joey, and I think she's into me," Chandler explained.

"Since when do you watch Joey rehearse all the time?" she asked.

"Since I found out the woman he's acting with is beautiful," Chandler answered. He went all the time to watch. Kate was giving him the vibe, he knew she was. Then one day, she went home with the director, and Chandler had been crushed. He should have expected it.

"It's nice to see you getting over Janice," Phoebe noted.

"Yea," he agreed.

"The whole Monica thing...?"

"Over and done with," he answered. "She's with Richard anyway, and it looks serious. Nah, that was crazy."

"I think you're lying to yourself," Phoebe pointed out.

"Hey, guys," Ross said, coming into the cafe and sitting down beside them.

"Hey," they both said back.

"I can't believe I'm getting married to Rachel in a month!" he exclaimed. "A month!"

"We know," Chandler said. "You say it like every three seconds."

"Dude, I'm marrying my best friend, the girl I've been in love with my whole life," Ross said. "I will say it however many times I feel like it."

"We are really happy for you, Ross," Phoebe smiled.

"Thank you, Phoebs," Ross grinned.

"Oh," Chandler said, looking at his watch. "Joey should be off to rehearse soon!" He jumped up and bolted out of the cafe.

"Huh?" Ross asked, confused.

"He's in love with the leading lady," Phoebe told him.

"Ohhh," Ross said.

...

"That was bad! You are bad actors!" the director shouted. Chandler wanted to slug the guy. Kate and Joey were phenomenal in his mind. He saw Kate looked like she'd been punched in the heart.

"We'll pick up tomorrow," the director said, getting up and marching away. Chandler noticed Kate's understudy, Lauren, was hanging around Joey. He walked down the steps to join them.

"Hey, Chan?" Joey said. "I'm just outside." He had noticed his friend was interested in Kate, so he wanted to give them privacy even though the woman had driven him mad. She had seemed different lately, so maybe she wasn't all bad.

"You were great," Chandler told Kate. She smiled grimly.

"Well, unfortunately, you are not the director, so your thoughts don't count," she answered. She sighed heavily.

"You busy tonight?" Chandler asked.

"I really need to practise these lines," she answered. "I'm sorry."

"Let me help," Chandler suggested. "I have prior experience with Joey. I'm good." Kate hesitated for a moment.

"All right," she agreed.

 **Joey & Phoebe**

"I'm never going to nail this," Joey moaned. "The director is already calling us crap."

"Let me see it," Phoebe said. He had gone over to her place because no one else wanted to help him. Chandler had Kate at their apartment, and Monica was too busy with her dollhouse her dead aunt had left her.

"Okay," Phoebe instructed. "She has to really feel it. Give me your best shot."

"Are you sure this is a good idea? After...you know," Joey said.

"I think it'll be fine," Phoebe replied.

"If you say so," Joey muttered. "Okay. 'Baby don't go! What do you say?'"

"'Give me a reason to stay!'" Phoebe read dramatically. She paused when he did nothing.

"I can't," he said. "I just can't. It's too weird."

"Joey," Phoebe said firmly. "You want to do well in this play, right?"

"Well, yea."

"Then you've got to put aside our issues and do this. Come on, kiss me!" she ordered. "From the top!" Joey paused before going along with it.

"'What do you say?'"

"'Give me a reason to stay!'" she cried again. He moved in and kissed her passionately. Phoebe felt a whole mix of different feelings, and they were all so, so good. When they pulled apart, Joey looked at her for reassurance.

"Wow," she said. There it was. The spark.

"Yea?"

"If I was the director, I'd give you a gold star," she said huskily. Oh the spark was bursting into flames now.

"That good huh?"

"Oh yea."

"So, do you wanna...?"

"Stop talking," she commanded, pulling him into her and kissing him again soundly. At first he was going to pull away, but then it got so intense that he couldn't. This was what he had wanted for so long, and it was happening.

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking at her.

"Yes," she nodded. Then she was in his lap, and things just started getting more intense from there.

 **The Next Day**

"I can't believe you're playing with the dollhouse," Ross snorted, watching Monica.

"I waited years to play with this thing," she answered haughtily. "I'm finally getting my way."

"Can I play?" Ross asked in a childish voice.

"Okay," Monica replied happily. He hurried over and joined her.

"Oh my," Emily said, coming out of her room and seeing them. "Having fun?"

"Yes," Monica nodded emphatically.

"I'm just supervising the play," Ross said, looking sheepish. Emily bit down a laugh. She knew he was lying.

"Actually, that's my job," Richard said from the couch. He was looking over his newspaper at them.

"Hello, children," Chandler said coming in. They all turned to see him beaming.

"Someone got lucky," Richard noted. He went back to his newspaper.

"I sure did!"

"Really?" Monica asked, intrigued.

"Yup. Kate came over to rehearse with me, and before we knew it..." Chandler imitated the motions of sex.

"Aww all right," Ross said. "That was a bit much."

"I need to go wash my eyes," Emily said, leaving the room and going into the bathroom.

"That's good," Monica said, not looking at him.

"It is good. Very good. I'm off to go watch rehearsal. Do you think she'll like that pizza place? I'm gonna take her to lunch there after," Chandler said. He didn't wait for an answer before going out the door.

"He's in looove," Ross joked.

"Are you playing or not?" Monica asked.

"Oh, yea," he said, getting back to it. Richard chuckled to himself.

 **...**

"I was caught up in the moment," Kate said. "I'm sorry you feel bad. Haven't you ever been with a woman where it meant more to her than it did to you?"

"Not exactly," Chandler answered. He felt like his soul had been crushed. Kate gave him an "oh well" glance and walked out with the director. Chandler wanted to kick something.

"What's up?" Joey asked, noticing.

"Kate dumped me," Chandler muttered.

"Aw, man," Joey sympathized.

"Whatever. I don't know why I thought it would work," Chandler sighed.

"Cos you have hope, dude. Don't ever lose that," Joey advised. They walked out together, and Chandler didn't say a word for the rest of the way home. Joey was busy thinking about Phoebe. Once they started having sex, it just kept happening everywhere. He was actually scheduled to meet her in ten minutes at the lady's room at the Perk. He couldn't get enough of her. They had agreed to keep it a secret for now so as not to overshadow Ross and Rachel's wedding day. Joey was okay with this. The secrecy made it so much more fun.

 **A Week Later**

"I can't believe they took the suggestion to put us on wheels," Monica complained. She was practising rolling on her new roller skates outside of the Perk with Phoebe and Rachel helping.

"They took my idea!" Phoebe shouted excitedly.

"That was you?!"

"Yea. Oh, off you go," she said, pushing her back towards Rachel.

"Here's your cocoa," Gunther said, handing her a mug.

"Oohh," Rachel said, going to grab it.

"RACH!" Monica screamed, slamming into her. They both fell hard. Phoebe rushed over.

"Are you all right?" she asked them. Gunther even looked concerned.

"Ohhh," Rachel moaned. Monica got up gingerly and then took off the skates. Phoebe and Gunther helped Rachel up.

"I'm sorry," Monica said. "I wish they had brakes on these things."

"It's okay. I think I'm just bruised," Rachel said, wincing.

"Get home and rest," Phoebe suggested.

"I will," Rachel agreed. She hailed a cab and got in, leaving them there.

"So, still nothing with Joey?" Monica asked when Gunther went inside.

"No, and stop asking!" Phoebe ordered. She hoped it wasn't written on her face. She and Joey had been going at it for a week now. It was still glorious.

"Okay, okay," Monica said. She headed up to her apartment. Phoebe hailed a cab for herself and went to work.

 **Joey & Chandler**

"I know you're depressed about Kate and all," Joey said, "but the goatee is a little much. You look like Satan."

"Well that explains the spitting from people on the street," Chandler said sarcastically. He was in the lounger and watching TV. Joey wasn't sure what else to say. When Chandler didn't want to be cheered up, he really didn't want to be cheered up. A commercial came on about baby chickens and how if they weren't adopted, they were killed. Chandler flicked the channel before it finished, but Joey had an idea. He went across the hall and into Monica's apartment.

"Can I borrow your phone?" he asked her.

"Sure," she nodded.

"Your phone broken?" Richard asked, curious.

"I don't want Chandler to hear," Joey answered, dialing.

"Ah," Richard said, getting it.

"Hey, I just saw your ad, and I wanna get one of those chicks. They're so cute!" Joey said into the phone. Monica and Richard shared a look with one another. They had no idea what he was talking about.

 **Later**

"Look what I got!" Joey cried, revealing the box to Chandler, who had returned from getting a coffee. He peered into the box then looked at Joey.

"It's a chicken," he said, not understanding.

"It's cute though, right?" Joey said, picking it up.

"You guys know anything about chicks?" Phoebe asked. She had been there with Joey, and they had recently enjoyed each other's company very much.

"Fowl? No. Women?" Chandler asked, heh hehing. Then he hung his head. "No."

"Okay, well they need constant care, a lot of food, and a lot of love," Phoebe told them sternly.

"No problems there!" Joey claimed, holding the chick to his chest and giving it a big hug.

"Whoa boy," Chandler commented.

 **The Next Day**

"Maybe we weren't ready for a chick," Joey commented. They looked at the chirping baby chicken, and nodded together.

"I'll take her back tomorrow," Chandler said. It had been exhausting, and it wasn't fun arguing over who was looking after it more.

"Hey," Phoebe said coming in. "How is she?" She scooped the chick out of the box.

"Cute, but going back tomorrow," Joey answered.

"Awww," Phoebe said. "Probably for the best though."

"Yea," Chandler agreed.

"Unbelievable!" Monica shouted, coming into the apartment.

"What?" Joey asked.

"You'll never believe what I have to wear now!" she shrieked. She shoved a t-shirt into Chandler's hands. He held it open.

"Whoa," Joey laughed. Phoebe bit down a laugh herself. Chandler was trying to look around at it while Monica stood there wringing her hands.

"I didn't know they could modify your suggestions," Chandler said after finally seeing it.

"You suggested this!" Monica freaked.

"I suggested a more R-rated version of this," Chandler laughed.

"Give it," Monica said, snatching it. It was humiliating. It was a long t-shirt with a woman's very well toned body in a bikini with no head as it ended at the neck, and Monica's head would be the top of the "body."

"That's...that's really something," Joey said, stifling a snigger.

"I am NOT wearing this!" Monica shouted. "I am a chef, not a freaking bikini model!"

"What are you gonna do?" Phoebe asked.

"I'm quitting," Monica snapped. "The roller blades was enough, but this? No. I'm not doing this." She stormed off and slammed the door behind her.

 **Ross & Rachel**

"Ow, ow, ow, ow," Rachel said, walking over and reaching for the pain killers. Reaching up was the worst. "Oh, oh, oh, oh," she said as she lowered her arm. Ross was at work, but he was supposed to be on his way home. She was by herself with what felt like a broken rib, not that she'd admit that to anyone. Moving was excruciating.

"Hi, sweetie," Ross said, coming in just as the bottle of pills exploded and went scattering across the floor. He stopped and surveyed the mess.

"Hi," Rachel said. "Just taking a pill."

"You're still that bad?" Ross asked.

"Nooo," Rachel lied.

"Pick up one," Ross said, gesturing. Rachel stood there for a moment contemplating how she was gonna do it. "If you can't do it," Ross started.

"I got it, I got it, I got it," Rachel chanted. She worked a pill between her toes and pulled it up to her hand.

"That is very hygenic," Ross said sarcastically. "Come on, you're going to the hospital."

"No! I can't. I have a very important dinner with my boss tonight," Rachel said. "I can't miss it."

"You can't keep walking around like that either. You probably have a broken rib," Ross told her, reading her mind.

"If you help me get dressed, then I'll go to the dinner and go to the hospital right after," Rachel said.

"I think you should go now. How are you gonna greet all those people? With your foot?" Ross asked, mimicking her earlier movement with his foot.

"If I have to," Rachel agreed grimly.

"Come on," he urged.

"Just help me get ready," she begged. He stood there looking at her. She pouted at him.

"Okay, fine, but we are going right after," Ross said.

"You're the best," Rachel praised. He followed her as she shuffled to their bedroom. Ross did his best, but in the end, she looked in the mirror in horror. She looked like a damn hooker. Ross was searching the closet for her favorite dress when she reached for the leggings that were on the bed to put them on.

"OOOWWWW!" she shrilled as she pulled something, falling down onto the mattress. Ross was immediately by her side.

"Rach?"

"Ow!"

"Rachel."

"Ow!"

"Sweetie, I really think you should..."

"Ow!"

"...go to the hospital," Ross finished over her cries of pain. She looked at him then.

"All right," she agreed. "I need to go. Right now."

"Okay," he said, moving to get her some clothes. She reached to wipe off her makeup then.

"Owwww!" she hollered. Ross spun around.

"What, what?!"

"I can't go to the hospital looking like this," Rachel moaned, looking at him mournfully.

 **Chandler & Joey**

"That's a duck," Joey said, looking at it. He looked at Chandler next.

"Yea. See the thing is, I went to take the chick back, and the outcome wasn't good, so I decided to keep her. I also took the duck because his fate wasn't so good either," Chandler explained.

"Oh, well, that's...that's a good thing you did," Joey said, starting to smile. So his friend liked the birds' company after all.

"I thought so," Chandler nodded.

"Is it helping?"

"What? Forget about Kate? Not entirely, but it's a distraction," Chandler answered.

"I'll take it," Joey grinned.

 **Monica & Richard**

"You quit, huh," Richard said as Monica finished telling her story.

"I did. I know I needed the money, but honestly, I can't wear this!" she cried, throwing the t-shirt away.

"I agree," Richard said.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," Monica confessed. She tried hard not to cry.

"I know someone who has just joined a new restaurant that's opening soon. Want me to ask if they could use another chef?" Richard asked. Monica perked up a this.

"I...I could do that," she agreed.

"The only thing is the owner," Richard said, cocking his head.

"Who...who is it?"

"It's that Pete Becker guy," Richard told her.

"Oh."

"Yea. If that makes you uncomfortable..."

"No, no! That would be fantastic. Oh, Richard, you've saved my butt," Monica laughed, hugging him.

"Well, good. I like your butt," he teased.

"Are you okay with me working under Pete?" Monica asked, pulling back.

"As long as you're not under Pete," Richard joked.

"Richard!" she said, smacking him playfully. "I would never do that."

"I know," he smiled. "I trust you." She kissed him then. She was so lucky that Richard was in her life. She couldn't imagine it without him.

 **A Week Later-Joey's Play Premiere**

"Are you sure you'll be all right going?" Joey asked Chandler as he got ready.

"I'll be fine. She'll be all the way down on that little stage far away from me and my crushed soul," Chandler replied.

"All right. I really don't think you should be going," Joey said.

"I'll be fine! Relax," Chandler said.

"You guys ready?" Monica asked, opening the door. Richard was behind her.

"Yup," Joey said, moving towards them. Chandler followed, messing around with his tie. "Where's Phoebs?"

"In there," Monica gestured. Joey peeked in to see Phoebe on the phone. He went over to her.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "You're gonna miss opening night."

"I'm on hold. I'm the next caller in line. I'll be there as soon as I get this dealt with," Phoebe promised.

"All right," Joey nodded. He wanted to kiss her, but everyone was watching.

"Break a leg!" she called after him.

 **Later**

"You have ended my career!" the director shouted, throwing the paper down and storming off. Chandler saw him gesturing wildly at Kate, who was then crying as she hurried away from him. Chandler chased after her.

"Hey," he said, catching her arm. "You okay?"

"No, I'm not okay," Kate sniffled. "I suck, and my boyfriend just dumped me because of my review."

"Well, he's a dick," Chandler pointed out. "And you don't suck."

"I left an opportunity to be on a soap for this," Kate went on.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Chandler empathized. "Let me walk you home." She nodded and allowed him to tuck her arm under his. The gang didn't see him leave with her, but he knew they wouldn't worry about it.

...

"How are your ribs?" Monica asked Rachel. They were back at her apartment. Emily was there too for a few days. Monica sometimes still wasn't used to her coming and going all the time.

"Better," she replied. "I was to not do much moving for a while. The pain isn't so bad now."

"Oh good," Richard said, smiling at her.

"Yea, it was hard keeping her down when there's so much left to do," Ross chimed in.

"Like what?"

"I don't even know," Ross shook his head. "But I'm assuming there's lots."

"Do you have a honeymoon picked out yet?" Emily asked. Ross and Rachel looked at each other, taken aback.

"N-nooo," Rachel said. "Oh my God! How could we forget to book a honeymoon!"

"I'm sure you can get something," Monica started.

"I know!" Phoebe called from the couch. She was still on hold. They all looked at her.

"What?" Ross asked.

"My client has this cottage in Montauk. I bet I can get him to let you stay there," Phoebe said proudly.

"That...that's actually a great idea," Rachel said, getting excited. "Oh, Ross! A beach! It's perfect."

"I agree," Ross smiled. "Thanks, Phoebs!"

"Can you call him now?" Rachel asked.

"Um, not yet," Phoebe said, gesturing that she was still on hold.

"Still waiting, huh?" Emily asked, looking at Phoebe sympathetically.

"They'll get to me. I'm the next caller," Phoebe answered firmly. Emily shared a worried look with the others.

"Did Colin happen to call?" Emily asked.

"Yes. I told him I'd give you his message. He's at the place with the phangle," Phoebe said.

"What's a phangle?" Emily asked, puzzled.

"Oh that's a filler word I use when I don't remember the real one," Phoebe said, nodding. Emily inhaled deeply. She loved Phoebe, but this whole phone thing was getting annoying fast.

 **The Next Day**

"Aren't those the same clothes you were in last night?" Monica asked when Chandler entered her apartment that morning.

"You are absolutely right. I spent the night with Kate. Not that way. She was really drunk then slept it off, and we talked the whole night," he grinned.

"Oh you had the night!" Phoebe called from the couch where she was still on hold.

"The night?" Chandler asked.

"Yea! The night where you talk and learn about each other."

"You think?" Chandler inquired.

"Do you know about her family?" Emily asked, getting involved. She knew about the "night" too.

"Two brothers. One died," Chandler answered.

"Yay!" Phoebe cried. He smiled.

"I'm happy for you," Monica said, hugging him. Things were still a wee awkward between them, but they were getting better.

"I'm off to go see her before the play again this afternoon," Chandler said. He gave a hop and went out the door.

"Good to see him so excited," Emily said. Phoebe didn't say anything about how Monica could have made him that happy too. She was wise to know that wouldn't end well.

 **Later**

"Hey!" Joey called, rushing up to Chandler outside the theatre. "Was it better the second time?"

"Uh huh. Sure," Chandler said absently.

"What's wrong?" Joey asked, sensing Chandler's mood.

"Kate left," Chandler answered, kicking at a stone.

"What?"

"Yea. _General Hospital_ still wanted her, so she left to do that. She said she couldn't stay here for me," Chandler said. He clenched his fists in his pockets.

"Aw, man. I'm sorry," Joey said.

"It's all right. I'm meant to be alone, Joey. I've accepted this," Chandler added.

"No. You're not meant to be alone. Look, there is someone out there for you, I know it!"

"I appreciate your enthusiasm," Chandler said dryly. Joey put his arm around Chandler and squeezed him.

"I know it. Don't give up just yet," he assured Chandler. They walked home together while it started to rain, and Chandler felt it was very suiting to his mood.

 **Joey & Phoebe**

"Hey," Phoebe said, entering Joey's apartment. Chandler was at the Perk with Ross trying to cheer up.

"Did you finally hang up?" Joey asked.

"Yea. I'm sorry I missed your play, twice."

"It's okay," Joey reassured her.

"Want me to make it up to you?" she asked.

"All right!" he exclaimed. She leaped into his arms, kissing him.

 **Monica & Richard**

"I think I'm going to quit," Monica said to Richard. She had been thinking about it, and now she was voicing it.

"Again?" he asked, surprised.

"Well, Pete is a bit...crazy," Monica told him. "He's now an Ultimate Fighter..."

"Oohh," Richard winced. "Really?"

"Yea, and he keeps saying he's going to be the best one ever, and I don't think I want to work under someone who is delusional," Monica explained.

"Are you sure? Sometimes that can work in your favor," Richard teased.

"He keeps hitting on me too," Monica said.

"Definitely time to move on," Richard responded, nodding his head emphatically.

"You're not mad?"

"No! I don't want you around a psycho who keeps hitting on you," Richard laughed. "Besides, didn't you always want to cater? Like you did when we first met?"

"I did," Monica said, thinking hard. "I still do. Is it too impossible though?"

"Not at all," Richard shook his head. "I know you can do it. I have friends who need their parties catered. Want me to hook you up?"

"Yes!" she shouted. He laughed as she did her victory dance.

 **Ross & Rachel**

"We're getting married in a week," Rachel said in awe. "A week, Ross!"

"I know," he replied, growing excited. "Isn't it amazing?!"

"I love you so much," she said, kissing him.

"I love you too," he said after. "I can't believe we got everything done in time too."

"We're just that good," Rachel smiled. Ross smoothed her hair and looked into her eyes. This was his soulmate. He was so glad everything had worked out the way he always imagined. He couldn't wait to start their life together.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! I'm saving the Big Day for next time :) I apologize for the whole No Spark thing. I had to swap it from Monica's no spark with Pete. I hope you liked the twist. And Mondler fans, have hope. It's coming!**


	18. Chapter 18

**It's the chapter you've all been waiting for! The Wedding Day. I hope you enjoy it :)**

* * *

 **Morning of the Wedding**

Rachel opened her eyes, and it took a full five seconds before she remembered. She sat up boltright, looking beside her. Ross was gone. He was staying with Chandler and Joey. Today was her wedding day. She had a very good feeling that this time, she wouldn't be climbing out any bathroom windows. She felt her heart flutter, and her face broke into a wide smile.

"I'm getting married!" she whooped, pumping her fists. No sooner than she had said it, she heard the apartment door open and footsteps make their way to her room.

"You're getting married today!" Monica shouted, excited.

"Mon, you're here...early," Rachel noted.

"We have SO much to do!" Monica trilled. "Come on! Get up, get up, get up!" She raced back into the living room, leaving Rachel wishing she had made Phoebe the maid of honor. She might have gotten an extra hour to herself.

"Rachel!" Monica called from the other room.

"I'm coming," Rachel answered.

 **Ross, Joey & Chandler**

Ross woke up with a headache. He groaned. He sat up slowly and took in the sight of the apartment. It looked as though a bomb went off. Before he could do anything, the door opened and Richard was standing there.

"Have fun last night?" he asked, taking in the scene before him.

"I guess," Ross nodded. What had happened last night anyway?

"I'm here to make sure everything gets executed properly," Richard went on.

"Monica?" Ross asked.

"Yea," Richard confirmed.

"Poor Rachel," Ross murmured.

"Hey!" Joey said, coming out of his room. "Great party last night!"

"Must you shout?" Ross asked, covering his ears.

"Oh that's right," Joey smirked. "You drank a lot."

"Did I do anything stupid? Anything at all?" Ross questioned, afraid.

"You stuck your head out the window and screamed that you were a lucky prince marrying your princess tomorrow," Joey answered. "Then you passed out."

"Really?"

"You may have cuddled up with the duck," Joey added. Ross stiffened as a quacking noise started under the blanket beside him, and the duck poked its head out to look at him.

"Oh God," Ross moaned.

"Sounds like some party," Richard commented. He had had other commitments, so he had missed it entirely.

"It was all right," Joey responded. Chandler emerged then, his hair sticking up in all directions.

"What happened to you?" Ross asked. A woman appeared behind Chandler, looking sheepish. She was thin with thick black hair and big blue eyes. Her legs looked like they never ended. Joey's jaw dropped.

"Is that the-?" he started.

"Certainly not," Chandler interrupted. Ross had passed out before the stripper got there, but he didn't need to know they had gotten one after he had explicitly said not to.

"Hi, I'm Zoey," the woman said. "I'm a friend of Emily's. I came over when I heard the partying."

"There you are!" Emily cried on cue. She came up beside Richard. "What happened to you last night?" She stopped short when she saw her friend with Chandler.

"American boys are so much fun," Zoey replied, smirking. She gave Chandler a kiss on the cheek and went over to Emily.

"You were in America for three hours and you already hooked up with someone?" Emily asked as they walked away, annoyed.

"Wow," Joey said. "She was hot."

"Yea," Chandler agreed.

"Okay folks," Richard said. "Not to be a party pooper, but Monica will kill me if I don't have you all ready in time. That's not something I want to happen, so come on, get up and get ready!" Ross pushed the duck off the couch. It squawked in protest.

"I'm assuming you were someone who slept with teddy bears?" Richard teased.

"Shut up," Ross muttered. He was so embarrassed.

 **3 Hours Before the Wedding**

 **Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe**

"You look gorgeous!" Phoebe exclaimed when Rachel came out from Monica's care. Her hair had ringlets and was pinned at the back so that it was swooped by the sides.

"Thank you, Monica," Rachel beamed.

"Oh," Monica blushed. "It was nothing." She was proud of her handiwork.

"You guys," Rachel said, gesturing them to come close, which they did. "I'm so thankful to have you as my best friends. I can't believe this day is actually here. I'm so glad I get to share it with you!"

"Aw Rach," Monica said, tearing up.

"We're gonna be sisters," Rachel cried, hugging her.

"Us too!" Phoebe chimed in, referring to her and Rachel. She hugged them both. Rachel patted her head affectionately.

"Okay, before my make up starts running," Monica said, breaking them apart.

"I hope Ross and the guys are doing okay," Rachel commented.

 **Ross, Chandler, & Joey**

"Where's my tie?" Ross asked, frantic. He chucked all the sofa cushions in the air, searching. A quack behind him made him freeze. He turned slowly, spotting the tie in the duck's mouth. He dove for it, but the duck was faster.

"Don't play tag with the duck. It encourages him, and we just don't have the time in our busy lives," Chandler said, walking past while fixing his own tie.

"He's got my tie!" Ross exclaimed, frustrated. He lunged again, and the duck waddled away backwards, taunting him almost. Joey scooped it up in his arms, rescuing the tie. He handed it to Ross.

"I hope that's all that goes wrong today," Ross muttered, holding it with two fingers.

"He's mad cos you wouldn't let him be the ring bearer," Joey told him.

"That is still the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," Ross snapped. Joey gasped and covered the duck's ears.

"Keep hurting his feelings like that, and he'll steal more than just your tie," Chandler advised.

"Yea, don't insult the duck," Joey said. "We learned that the hard way."

"And don't leave shiny things lying around," Chandler added. Ross felt scared suddenly. Chandler noticed his facial expression.

"Uh oh," Ross said.

"You didn't," Chandler groaned. Ross searched hard for the wedding band.

"This is bad!" he shouted, not finding it.

"Geez," Joey said. "Rachel is gonna kill you."

"Why would Rachel do that?" Richard asked, returning. He was all dressed up himself.

"The duck ate her wedding band!" Ross shrieked. The duck squawked again in Joey's arms.

"It's like a circus over here," Richard muttered.

"What are we gonna do?!" Ross cried.

"Let me call my emergency, personal vet," Chandler said.

"You have one?" Ross asked, impressed.

"No!" Chandler yelled.

"I do," Richard said. "He's a friend of mine. Come on." He led the way with the three of them trailing behind him.

 **2 Hours Before the Wedding**

 **Rachel, Monica, & Phoebe**

"Are you nervous?" Phoebe asked Rachel. They were sitting at the kitchen table doing their make up. Monica had done hers before she had even gotten there that morning.

"No actually," Rachel answered. "I'm not even anxious."

"Good," Monica smiled at her. She was thinking about Richard. She hoped that this wedding might make him decide to pop the question himself one day soon. She hoped he was doing a good job keeping the guys in line.

 **Ross, Chandler, Joey, & Richard**

"There it is," the vet said, pointing at the x-ray. Ross moaned in misery.

"Told you not to hurt his feelings," Joey said.

"How could I have hurt his feelings? I cuddled with him and everything!" Ross cried. The vet raised his eyebrows at them.

"Not like that," Chandler said hurriedly. "Our duck has morals."

"I'm not even gonna ask," the vet replied.

"Can you get it out of there?" Ross asked.

"I can. Give him this," the vet said, handing them over a box. "It'll make it come out faster."

"Oh boy," Joey sighed.

"Thank you, Bob," Richard said.

"No problem. Glad I could help," Bob responded. "Happy Wedding Day!" They all left then, Joey still carrying the duck.

"I have two hours and I'm supposed to be standing across from my future wife," Ross said. "Get that stuff into him now!"

"All right, all right," Chandler said, opening the box and sticking the pill down the duck's throat.

"Let's go before he starts crapping on me," Joey suggested. They hurried back to Chandler and Joey's apartment.

 **1 Hour Before the Wedding**

 **Ross, Chandler, Joey, & Richard**

"I'm supposed to be at the church in less than thirty minutes!" Ross freaked. "Where is the ring?!"

"All this pressure is not helping," Joey said. They were all dressed to go at least. Richard felt this was a good sign. Maybe Monica wouldn't fully kill him, just hit him really hard.

"He's ready!" Chandler cried, grabbing the duck and racing to the bathroom.

"How does he know?" Richard asked, curious.

"It's a certain look he gets," Joey answered.

"All right, come and get it!" Chandler called. They rushed into the bathroom.

"I'm not doing it," Joey said.

"Fine," Ross said, grabbing a glove and digging it out. He dropped it in the awaiting basin of bleach.

"I wonder if there's a tradition like this in a different country," Chandler mused.

"What, a ring through a duck's colon brings you bountiful pleasures?" Ross asked, sarcastic.

"You never know," Chandler said defensively.

"All right, we've got the ring so let's go to the church," Richard said, clapping his hands. They all rushed out the door. Things were starting to look up.

 **Rachel, Monica, & Phoebe**

"I can't believe this is happening!" Rachel cried. They were in Phoebe's cab stuck in traffic. There was some kind of accident up ahead. Monica came back in out of breath.

"They're going to be a while clearing this up," she said. Rachel looked at the clock on the dash.

"We don't have a while!" she shrieked.

"Calm down," Phoebe urged. She had an idea.

"Phoebe!" Monica yelled when the cab went up and onto the curb beside them.

"Don't forget where we parked!" Phoebe cried, hopping out.

"Is she serious right now?" Rachel asked. "I'm in a wedding dress! I can't walk to my wedding!"

"We don't have a choice," Monica answered, getting out as well. Rachel joined them on the curb reluctantly.

"Now what?" she asked.

"We walk to another street and get a cab," Phoebe answered. They started walking.

 **30 Minutes Before the Wedding**

 **Ross, Chandler, & Joey**

They were with the minister downstairs waiting to go up to the sanctuary. Ross was fiddling with his tie. He hoped Rachel wouldn't see the piece missing from it. Stupid duck.

"Well, Ross," Chandler said. "You're getting the girl of your dreams. Just like you always wanted."

"I am," Ross agreed. He still couldn't believe it sometimes. Rachel was going to be his wife. He hoped she was just as excited.

 **Rachel, Monica, & Phoebe**

They had made it to another cab only to be stuck in traffic again half a mile from the church.

"Is the universe trying to say something here?" Rachel asked.

"You're not getting cold feet are you?" Monica panicked.

"No! It just seems odd that today of all days I've had two cabs be stopped in traffic," Rachel answered.

"It's just rotten luck," Monica told her. They could see the church from where they were sitting.

"I think we have to walk again," Phoebe noted.

"All right," Rachel agreed reluctantly. Monica paid the cabbie, and they got out.

"At least it's not raining," Phoebe commented.

 **5 Minutes Before the Wedding**

 **Ross, Chandler, & Joey**

They were standing at the altar waiting. Ross was feeling nervous. He hoped Rachel hadn't panicked and crawled out of another window. She had seemed fine on the phone the night before.

"She'll be here," Chandler promised, sensing Ross' fear. As if on cue, he saw Monica's head bobbing through the window.

 **Rachel, Monica, & Phoebe**

"Wait! I don't have something blue!" Rachel cried. Monica gasped. How could she have forgotten that?!

"I got it," Phoebe said, proud to have been able to help with something.

"What is it?" Rachel asked.

"My bra," Phoebe said seriously.

"Wha-? Phoebe! I'm not wearing your bra!" Rachel hissed.

"Do you want something blue or not?" Phoebe asked.

"Not that badly," Rachel answered.

"Here," Monica said, handing over her ring. "It was my grandmother's. There's a blue stone in it." Rachel took it from her gratefully and slid it on her finger.

"Fine, don't take a ride on the wild side," Phoebe scoffed.

"Let's go," Monica said. It was time to walk down the aisle. Dr. Green finally showed up to walk with Rachel. Phoebe and Monica went down single file first. It was finally happening.

 **The Wedding**

"Rachel," Ross said. "I have loved you since the day I first met you. There is no other person on this Earth that I want to be with forever. You are my best friend, my soul mate. I am incredibly lucky to have you standing by my side for this journey of life. I love you so much, and I will do everything I can to make sure you are happy and healthy from here on out." He slid the ring on Rachel's finger, trying not to think about where it had been an hour ago.

"Ross," Rachel began. "You truly are my Prince Charming. I had no idea that being with you would make me this happy, and my only regret is that I didn't do this sooner. I can't wait for what life has to bring us, and I am so proud to have you by my side for everything that will happen. I love you, and I'll never have to try to win a lottery because I already won." Rachel placed his ring on his finger and beamed at him. Then it was time to kiss. Rachel felt it was the best kiss of her life, and Ross felt like he was finally complete. They walked down the aisle together, her arm in his. Chandler took Monica's arm and they followed.

"Are you crying?" Monica asked him in a whisper.

"No," he lied. "It's dust."

"Hee hee," Phoebe cheered quietly when she took Joey's arm.

"This was so great," he murmured. They followed Monica and Chandler.

"Bathroom sex?" she whispered when they neared the door of the sanctuary.

"Oh yea," he nodded vigorously.

 **Ten Minutes Later**

"Where are Joey and Phoebe?" Monica demanded. "It's time for pictures!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Phoebe called, rushing to them. "Tiny bladder syndrome."

"Me too," Joey said, hurrying behind her. Chandler narrowed his eyes at them suspiciously.

"Oh Ross," Rachel said, hugging him tightly. "We did it!"

"You look so beautiful. I'm so happy," he told her, kissing her.

"All right," Monica said. "Time for pictures."

"Chill out," Joey told her. "They're kissing."

"Ahem," the photographer coughed. They all gathered around each other while the pictures were taken. Then it was time for the reception.

 **After the Reception**

"See? There weren't too many fights," Ross said to Rachel. Monica had tackled one of Rachel's cousins before anything too disastrous could happen. Thankfully, Rachel had missed that.

"I think I was more nervous about that part than the wedding part," Rachel laughed. They were in a cab heading to their apartment to change and grab their packed bags for their honeymoon.

"I'm just glad our parents got along," Ross said. Jack and Judy had indeed gotten along with Sandra and Leonard. Almost too well. Ross wondered if they were faking it.

"I'm so excited to see this cottage!" Rachel exclaimed. Ross hugged her tightly. He couldn't either. This was the start of their lives together, and Ross still couldn't believe this was happening.

 **Joey & Phoebe**

"We should go to weddings more often," Phoebe laughed. They were in her bed after coming to her apartment from the reception. It had been very hard not giving away their relationship at the wedding. Phoebe thought Chandler seemed onto them, but she pushed that thought away. Chandler wasn't that intuitive. Joey was digging under her bed suddenly.

"What are you doing?" she laughed.

"I hid snacks under here last time," he answered. He pulled out a photograph that was covered in dust.

"What's that?" she asked.

"It's a picture," he replied, showing her. She looked at it curiously.

"Oh my God," she gasped.

"What?"

"This is my mother's handwriting!" she exclaimed. She handed it to him again, and he scanned the back.

"Me, Frank, and Phoebe, Graduation 1965," he read. He looked at her. "You don't look fifty..."

"Joey! That's my mom and my dad! And Phoebe is my mom's best friend!"

"Oh!" he said, getting it. Phoebe got out of bed. "Where are you going?"

"To look up Phoebe," she answered. "She will have stories about my parents!"

 **Monica & Richard**

"That was a lovely wedding," Richard said, giving her a kiss. They were lying in her bed together.

"It was," she agreed. "And you got them there on time!"

"I loved my reward," he said impishly. She giggled.

"I'm so happy for them," she sighed, pleased.

"Maybe that could be us one day," Richard said slowly. She turned to face him.

"Yea?"

"Yea."

"Oh, Richard."

 **Chandler**

He sat in his living room alone. Zoey and Emily weren't home, so he couldn't ask her to come over. The duck and the chick wandered around the floor in front of him. This is what his life came down to, living with birds. And Joey. He thought about Monica briefly. She had looked so beautiful today. He wondered what would have happened if she hadn't found out she couldn't have children. Would she have gotten back together with Richard? He'd never know.

"Okay, kids," he said to the birds. "Nighty night time!"

 **Ross & Rachel**

"It's beautiful," Rachel gushed, looking around. Ross dropped their bags by the bottom of the stairs. "I love the sand!"

"I love you," he said, picking her up in his arms. She squealed with joy. He carried her up the stairs to their bedroom. It was everything he dreamed of and more. Nothing could ruin this trip.

* * *

 **I think you guys know what's coming...lol. Sorry I didn't write more of the reception. I may come back and add more at a later time if you think it's necessary. Thanks for reading!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry for the delay folks. You may already know that I have about 15 different stories on the go right now, so it's hard to update once a week for all of them let alone not get them mixed up with each other haha. I'm doing my best :)**

* * *

"This Phoebe is in Montauk," Phoebe was telling the group at the Perk the next day. "I really want to go see her."

"That's great, Phoebs," Chandler smiled.

"Hey, isn't Ross and Rachel in Montauk?" Joey asked, putting it together.

"Yea. I figured they'd be okay with it," Phoebe nodded.

"Okay with what?" Monica asked.

"You know, us visiting," Phoebe answered vaguely.

"Phoebe!" Monica exclaimed. "We can't intrude on their honeymoon!"

"Why not? Who says you can't have visitors on your honeymoon?" Phoebe demanded. The others thought hard about it.

"Come on, you guys," Monica said. "We can't do that to Ross and Rachel. They've waited so long for this."

"They can have sex anytime," Phoebe scoffed. "How many times am I going to meet someone who knows my father and mother's past?"

"I'm in," Chandler said. Who could argue with Phoebe's logic?

"Chandler!" Monica cried.

"I'm in too," Joey agreed.

"Joey!" Monica was in a huff now.

"It's not like we're staying the whole week," Phoebe told her. "It's just a day, or two."

"I'm not gonna be a part of this," Monica said.

"Aw but you have to come!" Phoebe whined.

"No. I'm not going," Monica answered, crossing her arms.

"Hey, guys," Emily said, coming in with Zoey. "What's going on?"

"We're going to the beach! Wanna come?" Chandler asked. Zoey and Emily looked at each other.

"I have to work," Emily said.

"I'll go," Zoey grinned. "I was just gonna sit around watching TV anyway."

"Cool," Chandler smiled. Monica stared at him. So he was into Zoey now was he? Since when?

"Great!" Phoebe said excitedly. "I'm gonna go pack!" She tore off. Joey chuckled at her eagerness. Monica huffed again and got up.

"Ross is going to kill all of you," she warned.

"He'll have to catch us first," Joey answered. Monica growled and stormed off.

"I guess I should go pack too," Zoey mused. "I don't have much. Good thing I brought my bikini."

"Uh huh," Chandler responded, drooling.

 **Ross & Rachel **

"I envy those who live here all year," Rachel sighed. They were spread out on the sand, watching the waves crash against the beach.

"It is beautiful," Ross agreed. They were on their first day together as man and wife, and he still had to pinch himself at times.

"I'm so happy," she said, turning her head to look at him. He reached over and took her hand in his, squeezing it tightly.

"I want to always make you happy," he answered. She laughed.

"I know we're going to have arguments and not always be happy, Ross," she said.

"Maybe, but let's promise to never go to bed angry," he suggested.

"I like that," she smiled. He leaned over and kissed her then. She tasted like something fruity.

"Last one in cooks dinner," she said suddenly, jumping up and racing to the water. Ross chased after her. The water was surprisingly freezing, making them shout. He picked her up, laughing, and he fell backwards into the water with her.

"Cold! So cold!" she shrieked.

"Let's go warm up then," he said, taking her hand and running back to the shore.

 **Later**

"Well, you sure know how to warm someone up," Rachel teased. They were tangled up in each other upstairs in their bed.

"I try," he winked.

"You succeeded," she laughed. They started kissing again when they heard a noise downstairs. They looked at each other, confused.

"Did you order something?" Ross asked. He knew that was her version of cooking.

"No. Were we expecting company?"

"I didn't think so," he said. He slid out of bed, grabbing his robe and putting it on. Rachel followed suit. They crept down the stairs, peeking around the wall at the door, which suddenly burst open.

"Wow," Zoey was saying. "This is amazing!"

Ross and Rachel watched incredulous as Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Emily's roommate piled into their honeymoon suite.

"Hey, guys!" Phoebe called. Joey nodded, his hands full of luggage. Chandler was busy with his arms around Zoey.

"Wh-what, what, what, how, what?" Ross tried to start.

"What are you guys doing here?" Rachel demanded, finishing his sentence.

"I found a friend of my mom's! She lives just down the beach," Phoebe told them, excited. "We're only staying a night."

"What?!" Rachel and Ross cried at the same time.

"See? They're okay with it," Phoebe said to Joey, who grinned in response.

"No, no we're not," Ross started.

"Look, I don't have many answers about my mom, okay? This woman can help me figure out where my dad is and fill me in on my parents' lives. I don't ask for much, and I can't ask my mom cos she's dead and my dad's missing, so we're just gonna stay one night while I talk to this woman and get my answers, okay?" Phoebe finished, getting worked up. She and Ross shared a look.

"Let me grab your bag," Ross said, moving forward. Rachel stared at him. Was her husband afraid of Phoebe? It almost made her want to laugh, but then she remembered her honeymoon was being crashed.

"Phoebs, this couldn't have waited a week?" she asked.

"No. I need answers now," Phoebe answered, giving Rachel the same tough look.

"Which room do you want?" Rachel asked, taking her arm and pulling her up the stairs. Outside, it started to rain.

 **Monica & Richard**

"I can't believe those guys!" Monica raged. Richard was sitting on her couch with is legs crossed and hands folded on top of them, watching her pace.

"Not much we can do from here," he pointed out.

"I know, but seriously? Intrude on someone's honeymoon? That's a new low." Monica grabbed her hair in frustration.

"I'm afraid you'll be upset by my response, so I'm not going to say anything so as not to offend you," Richard said.

"That's fine. I appreciate you listening," she sighed, sitting down beside him. He put his arm around her and pulled her in.

"Are you really mad cos you didn't go enjoy the beach?" he asked after a moment.

"No," she lied, her voice small.

"I can take you to a beach," he went on. "I know a great place."

"Really?" she asked, sitting up and looking at him.

"Yes," he nodded.

"Let's do it!"

 **Phoebe**

This was it. She was going to see her mom's best friend. She heard a voice inside talking about selling a house with no bathroom in it.

"Knock, knock!" she called. The woman turned around.

"Come in!" she gestured. She went back to her phone conversation. "Okay, so think about it and call me back." She hung up as Phoebe came inside.

"Are you Phoebe Abott?" Phoebe asked.

"Um...yes," the woman answered.

"I'm your best friend's daughter!" Phoebe cried.

"You're Erwin's daughter?" Phoebe Sr. asked, confused.

"No, Lily's," Phoebe answered, showing her the picture. Phoebe Sr. looked at it.

"Oh. Yes, Lily. Gosh, it's been a long time."

"My mother named me after you," Phoebe pointed out, beaming.

"Oh," Phoebe Sr. said. She looked back at the photo. "And there's Frank."

"Yes! Frank, my dad. Yes, yes! Sorry, I'm just so excited," Phoebe said, resisting the urge to bounce around.

"Have a cookie," Phoebe Sr. suggested, pointing. Phoebe picked one up off the plate and started chewing.

"So, I've been looking for my father," Phoebe said. "I was wondering if you'd seen him."

"No. No, I haven't. I lost touch with them after high school," Phoebe Sr. said.

"Oh. Okay," Phoebe said, disappointed. "Well, tell me everything about my parents!"

"Well, we were tight in high school. They had a name for us actually," Phoebe Sr. started.

"What was that?"

"The three losers," Phoebe Sr. answered. "Oh, Lily. I heard what happened, you know. I'm so sorry you lost your mother that way." Phoebe noticed a photo on the fridge, and when Phoebe Sr. had her back turned, she swiped it.

"Yea, no, it was great," Phoebe said, smiling still.

 **Later-The Beach House**

"You know what rainy day game is always fun?" Joey asked.

"We are NOT playing strip poker," Ross answered, glaring at him.

"All finished!" Zoey called, examining her work. Rachel had enjoyed the pedicure. "Who's next?" She eyed Chandler.

"Oh no," he said as she stood up and went towards him. "No, no, no!" He started running with her chasing after him. Chandler dived onto the couch with Zoey landing on him. They wrestled for a moment.

"Hey," Phoebe said coming in.

"Hey, Phoebs," Rachel replied. "How'd it go?"

"She's hiding something," Phoebe answered. "She tried to say she didn't know where my father was, but I stole this photo. Doesn't that look like him?" She showed it to everyone.

"Yea, it does," Rachel agreed.

"Definitely," Joey nodded.

"I concur," Ross said.

"Why would she lie?" Rachel asked, concerned.

"I don't know. We're having dinner tomorrow, so maybe she'll tell me then," Phoebe replied.

"Phoebe! Help me!" Chandler called. Zoey was doing his nails.

"Yea, we're so bored," Joey added.

"Oh, well, okay. How about I pick someone and that person comes up with something that we have to do," Phoebe suggested.

"Yes!" Joey exclaimed. "Spread out, spread out." He rubbed his hands together eagerly. Phoebe started spinning.

"Oohh this is fun. Let's just do this," she said.

"Choose, woman!" Chandler shouted. Phoebe stopped, pointing at him.

"If you say build a sand castle, I'm gonna hurt you," Ross said. They had already made five that afternoon, and he was getting tired of being chosen to be Godzilla to destroy them.

"Okay, um, we have to play strip poker," Chandler answered, getting even.

"YES!" Joey shouted, pumping his fists.

...

"Fine, gang up on me," Joey commented. "I got you all where I want you." Phoebe was hiding her smirk behind her hand.

"Take 'em off, Tribbiani," Rachel said since her roll had gotten him to lose his boxers. They didn't have any cards, so they were playing Strip Happy Days Game.

"It's kind of cold," he said. "How about I just give you guys a peek?"

"How about we let Joey keep some of his dignity and do something else?" Ross suggested, not really wanting to see it.

"Agreed," Rachel nodded. Everyone stood up. Phoebe helped Joey gather his clothes.

"How about we go outside and you give me that peek?" she suggested, whispering. Joey didn't hesitated, and they slipped away.

"Well, I think we're gonna call it a night," Ross said, yawning to prove his point. Rachel took his arm, nodding.

"Good night," Chandler said. Zoey waved. They continued putting the board game away after Ross and Rachel went upstairs.

"That was fun," Zoey commented.

"Can we go have sex now?" Chandler asked. She nodded vigorously, and they jumped up and ran up the stairs.

 **Monica & Richard**

"I had no idea you owned a cottage," Monica said, looking around in awe.

"Yea, well, I do," he chuckled.

"I love you," she told him, giving him a kiss.

"I hope for more than just the fact I own a cottage," he teased.

"Of course!" she cried. She was already taking her bag to the bedroom.

 **The Next Day**

"What's wrong?" Joey asked Phoebe. She was staring at the phone.

"My namesake just cancelled our dinner," she said. She slammed the phone down. "She's hiding something! She knows where my father is, and I'm gonna go to her house and find out the answer."

"Isn't that breaking and entering?" Joey asked.

"Do you have a problem with that?" she demanded.

"Noooo," he answered, holding his hands up.

"I'll do something nice for her to make up for it," she told him. She grabbed her purse and went out the door.

"So," Ross said after she was gone. "You know how you said you'd only be here one night?"

"I know, I know," Joey said.

...

"I'm your mother," Phoebe Sr. spit out. Phoebe stared at her. She was still recovering from the fact the man in the photo was not her father.

"Heh?"

"I wanted to tell you yesterday, but..."

"Ehh?" Phoebe said again.

"I guess you'd like to know how it happened," Phoebe Sr. sighed, gesturing for Phoebe to sit down.

"I think I can take a guess. I was born, and everyone started lying their asses off!" she shouted.

"It wasn't like that!" Phoebe Sr. cried. "Look, I told you we were close. Well, we were very close."

"What?"

"Like, couple close," Phoebe Sr. finished.

"I don't even know how that would work," Phoebe snapped.

"Well..."

"I don't want an answer!" Phoebe cut her off.

"Okay, well, I got pregnant and scared. I was 18. You know what it's like to be 18 right?"

"Oh yea. I was on the streets cos my mom killed herself and my dad took off, and I was living with a person who thought their hand was another live person," Phoebe told her angrily.

"I'm so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world," Phoebe Sr. lamented. "I didn't hear about what happened until a couple of years ago, and by then, you were grown up. Now that you're here, though, I'd...I'd really like to get to know you."

"Well, everyone does cos I'm cool," Phoebe answered. "But you had 29 years to figure that out, and you didn't, so I'm leaving, and I NEVER want to see you again." She went outside when she realized she had forgotten her purse. She went back in with her hand over her eyes.

"Where's my purse?" she asked, waving her hand around.

...

"Hey," Joey said when Phoebe returned. "How'd it go?"

"Well, turns out Phoebe is my birth mom," Phoebe answered, throwing her purse. There was a stunned silence from the group.

"I'm so sorry," Rachel said. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I just want to be alone," Phoebe answered. She started going up the stairs when she stopped and turned back. "Joey!"

"Oh!" he said, following her. Chandler narrowed his eyes. He found it odd she would request Joey to talk to instead of say a female friend like Rachel. He made a mental note to ask when Joey came back down.

 **Later-Back in New York**

Chandler grabbed Joey by the scruff of the neck as they were heading up the stairs, letting Phoebe and Zoey go ahead of them. Ross had insisted they don't stay the night after Phoebe declared she officially hated the place, so they had left and now it was almost midnight. This was his first opportunity to talk to Joey alone.

"What's with you and Phoebe?" Chandler demanded, giving Joey a small shake.

"Nothing," Joey answered. He pulled out of Chandler's grip.

"Okay, so why did she ask you to talk to her and not any of us?" Chandler asked, crossing his arms.

"Because I listen," Joey retorted. "Let it go, man." He went up the stairs, leaving Chandler even more suspicious than before.

 **The Next Day**

"Joey!" Phoebe called, bursting into his apartment. Joey turned to face her, holding a sandwich.

"Yea?"

"My mom showed up at Central Perk today!" she cried. "She apologized, and now we're going to try and have a relationship!"

"That's great!" he exclaimed. She threw her arms around him tightly.

"I'm in the mood to celebrate," she said, winking suggestively. Joey tossed his sandwich and picked her up, carrying her to his room. They shut the bedroom door when Chandler came into the apartment. He took in the sight of the abandoned sandwich and immediately felt worried. Joey did not just leave food like that. Something was wrong here!

"Joe?!" he called. He rushed around the apartment. "Joey?!"

"Shit," Joey muttered. Phoebe looked up at him.

"What do we do?" she hissed.

"Hide," he suggested. They rolled off the bed and crawled under it. Within seconds, Joey's door was blown open.

"Joey!" Chandler shouted. He was panicking. Something had happened. He raced out of the apartment. He needed to find his friend and quickly.

"That was close," Phoebe laughed, pulling herself out from under the bed.

"Yea," Joey agreed. "I guess we should continue this later."

"All right," she nodded. She gave him one last kiss before going over to Monica's. Joey was back eating his sandwich when Chandler rushed back in. He halted in his tracks, almost falling onto his face.

"You-" Chandler started, out of breath.

"What's up?" Joey asked, chewing.

"Where were you?!"

"In the can," Joey answered.

"No you weren't!"

"Yes, I was. Geez, Chandler, can't a guy have some privacy around here," Joey snorted, moving past him and over to join Phoebe at Monica's.

"But...but..." Chandler spluttered. He looked over at the bathroom door, certain he had looked there. Hadn't he? He looked back over at Monica's door, knowing he hadn't been over there. Something fishy was going on here, and he was going to get to the bottom of it!

* * *

 **I've got so much planned for this story. I can't wait for you to read it all! Yes, I will be writing to the end of the series. Don't forget this is an AU story with canon, so expect the unexpected!**


	20. Chapter 20

"I can't believe Chandler is only selling this for fifty bucks," Joey whined. "I put my heart and soul into this unit!" Chandler had just left to go to Monica's to see Zoey when Phoebe stopped by. He had shared his annoyance to Joey's screening process before he went.

"I can't believe Ross thinks I'm crazy for believing this is my mother," Phoebe said, petting the cat that was sitting on her lap. Joey gave her a skeptical look but kept his thoughts to himself.

"What am I gonna do, Phoebs?" he asked instead.

"Haggle?"

"I'm not very good at that," he admitted. Phoebe cuddled with her cat mother and whispered into its ear. The chick and the duck had split as soon as they saw the cat come inside. Joey didn't blame them.

"Heard from your other M-O-M?" Joey asked. Phoebe gave him an appreciative look.

"No. I'm gonna call her later today," she answered. "This is so cool!"

"I think I hear breakfast," Joey said, craning his head in the direction of Monica's place. Zoey was leaving today with Emily. Joey knew Chandler was going to be bummed out afterwards.

"Let's go then," Phoebe responded. Everyone was there. Ross and Rachel had returned two days before from their honeymoon nicely tanned and glowing. Richard was cooking eggs, and Monica was working on french toast. Chandler and Zoey were on the chair together while Emily sat talking to Rachel animatedly.

"Hey," Ross said. He eyed up the cat. "So Phoebs, how long is your mom gonna be with us?"

"I'm not sure. I guess when she's used to there being another M-O-M around," Phoebe answered. "She might feel like she's being replaced." She picked up the cat and rubbed noses with it. "But that's not gonna happen! Joey, can you hold her while I make a call in the other room?"

"Sure," Joey agreed, taking the cat off her.

"Why can't you call out here?" Monica asked, confused.

"Because I'm calling a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H," Phoebe answered. Then it hit her. "Damn it! I spelled the wrong word." She shook her head as she went into Monica's room.

"Is anyone else concerned that Phoebe thinks her mom is a cat?" Ross asked when she was out of earshot.

"Oh, honey," Rachel said. "Let her have this. It's making her happy."

"Am I the only one worried about our friend's sanity?" Ross added.

"Ross," Monica warned.

"All right, all right," he said.

"Well, time to hit the road," Emily said, looking at her watch. "It's been lovely seeing you all."

"Yes," Zoey chimed in, hopping up off of Chandler's lap. "I had a _great_ time." Monica made a face to herself. Chandler followed them out into the hallway.

"You'll be coming back, right?" he asked. Zoey paused, making Emily stop too.

"Go ahead, Em, I'll catch up," she said. Emily gave her a warning look before turning away and leaving.

"I'll miss you," Chandler said, trying to kiss her.

"Look, Chandler," Zoey started.

"Oh no. Nothing ever good came out of a sentence that started with that," Chandler said, worried.

"This has been really fun, but that's all this was: fun. I'm not looking for a relationship. I have my life back home, and I'm not leaving it," she told him. Chandler stood there, stunned. He didn't know why he thought something was going to come out of this. Of course she had a life back home. Just like he had a life here.

"Right," he said finally. "I get it."

"I'm sorry," she winced.

"Don't be. It was fun," he replied. She gave him one last kiss before picking up her bags and going down the stairs. Chandler stood in the hallway unsure of what to do next.

 **Later**

Still feeling depressed, Chandler opened his apartment door and shut it behind him, tossing his keys. When they hit the floor, that's when he looked up. Just like his heart, the apartment was empty.

"OH MY GOD!" he shouted.

"WHAT?!" Joey's voice sounded from inside the unit. Inside the unit?! Chandler rushed over and pulled out the hockey stick.

"Are you all right?" Chandler asked, opening the door.

"Yea," Joey said sadly. Then he saw the apartment. "Aww man! He promised he wouldn't take the chairs!"

"How the hell did this happen?! How were you locked in there?! And where the hell is our stuff?!" Chandler shouted.

"Well, this guy came to look at the unit and said he didn't think a grown man could fit in there..."

"Oh my God. You got in there voluntarily?!" Chandler demanded.

"I was _trying_ to make a sale! You know what I'm gonna do the next time I see that guy?"

"BEND OVER?!" Chandler roared.

"What's with all the yell-?" Monica started before seeing the apartment. "Oh my God. What happened?!" Richard was behind her.

"JOEY LET A MAN ROB US!" Chandler shouted.

"I didn't do it on purpose!" Joey defended himself. Chandler looked at him incredulously.

"You got in the unit! You let him lock you in there!"

"I didn't know he'd do that..."  
"If you hadn't been so damn fussy about who buys this piece of shit..."

"Hey, whoa!" Joey cried.

"Guys! Stop yelling," Monica said, stepping between them. "Maybe we can find the guy who did this."

"I'll call a friend," Richard said, going over to Monica's to get the phone.

"Is he friends with everyone?" Joey asked, amazed.

"You wanna hope so cos I just might not be your friend anymore," Chandler muttered to himself.

"Chandler," Monica warned, having heard him. "Walk it off." Chandler huffed and went out into the hall. She turned to Joey.

"I swear I didn't know he'd do that, Mon," Joey said.

"I know," she answered. She gave him a hug. Within the hour, everyone was in the apartment.

"Wow they really got you guys," Rachel said sadly. Richard's cop friend said he'd look into it, but Chandler wasn't holding his breath.

"What did the insurance company say?" Ross asked.

"They said, 'You don't have insurance here. Stop calling us,'" Chandler answered.

"I came as fast as I could," Phoebe said, rushing in. She still had the cat much to Ross' dismay. He turned to the others, who all turned to stare at the ceiling.

"Didn't I tell you guys a little girl had lost this cat?" Ross asked. "That you were supposed to tell Phoebe?" They all muttered incoherently.

"Tell me what?" Phoebe asked, looking at them.

"Phoebs, a little girl owns the cat," Ross said, showing her the flyer. She stared at it.

"We're sorry, honey," Rachel added.

"I see," Phoebe said, looking at it still. "But...she chose me. I have to respect her decision right?"

"Oh yea," the others said in unison. Ross glared at them.

"Phoebe, this is a little girl's cat, okay? She's missing him. Julio the cat. It's not your mom," he emphasized. "I'm sorry you feel guilty for spending time with your new mom, but don't let this little girl miss her cat because you need it to be your mother." Phoebe put Julio down and turned to face Ross.

"How many parents have you lost?" she asked him.

"Well, none..."

"Then you don't know what it's like to have one come back," she cut him off. "So what if I'm wrong? Be a friend. Just be supportive, okay?"

"All right," he agreed. "I'm sorry."

"My mother would like an apology too," Phoebe added. The others stifled their laughter and smirks as he looked at them.

"Okay," he nodded. "Come here, Mrs. Buffay. Come on." The cat moved closer to him. "I'm sorry I was so insensitive and said you were just a cat when you're clearly the reincarnated spirit of my friend's mother."

"We both forgive you," Phoebe smiled, picking up her cat mother again.

"What about the little girl?" Monica asked.

"I'll do the right thing," Phoebe replied. She looked at the cat. "I love you, Mom. You can come back anytime."

"If she'd come back as furniture, that'd be great," Chandler commented.

"We have an extra futon," Ross started.

"Don't brag, okay? We got nothin' here!" Joey exclaimed. Ross and Chandler exchanged looks.

 **A Week Later**

"I can't believe I'm going to do this," Monica muttered.

"Do what?" Rachel asked. She and Ross had come over to visit. Phoebe was already there.

"I'm catering an event for Mom," Monica replied. "I must really hate my self-respect right now."

"How is the catering business going?" Ross asked, remembering that it was Monica's plan that Richard helped prompt.

"I'm catering for Mom. What does that tell you?" she questioned sarcastically.

"I see," he said.

"I can help," Phoebe piped up. "Oohh it'd be so much fun!"

"If you want," Monica agreed.

"Do you have any juice?" Rachel asked, looking in the fridge.

"I think Beavis and Butthead took it," Monica answered. "By the way, don't any of you know how to make your own breakfast?"

"Yours is better," Rachel shrugged. She went over to Chandler and Joey's to find the juice.

"Hey," Joey said when she came in. He was sitting on an old rusted lawn chair. Rachel eyed it up. "Oh this? Treeger said we could have the furniture from the basement."

"I get it," she nodded. "Any juice?"

"Just pickle," Joey answered. Just then, a woman came out of the bathroom wearing a towel with another wrapped around her hair. Rachel stared.

"Hello, Rachel," Joanna said, going into Chandler's room.

"Wh-what, what!" Rachel spluttered.

"Hey, Rach," Chandler said, also coming out of the bathroom.

"Why is my boss here?!" Rachel demanded.

"Your boss?" Chandler asked, surprised. "Joanna?"

"Yes!"

"Oh. I didn't realize she was your boss," Chandler chuckled.

"Didn't you ask where she works?"

"Well, I didn't think that everyone who worked at Bloomingdale's was your boss," Chandler pointed out.

"Well that one is!" Rachel snapped. "You can't date her!"

"Why not?!"

"Because! If you screw up, she'll fire me!"

"Oh please," Chandler snorted. Joanna came out just then.

"Rachel, aren't you running late?" she asked.

"What? No," Rachel answered, looking at her watch.

"You are if you're picking me up a bagel," Joanna smirked. She gave Chandler a peck before leaving.

"End it, end it NOW," Rachel commanded.

"Okay, okay," Chandler said. "I'll do my best."

 **Monica & Phoebe **

Monica was wringing her hands furiously. She was missing a nail. Her nail was in one of those quiches. This was turning out to be a disaster. Phoebe was trying to make her feel better, but she had to tell her mother.

"Uh, Mom?" Monica started. "Don't freak out, but there's a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups and no way of finding out which one." Judy started chuckling.

"I'm not freaking out," she said.

"Then why are you laughing?"

"No reason. Your father owes me five dollars is all."

"You bet that I would lose a nail?"

"No, no. I bet that I would need these," she said, opening the freezer and revealing the lasagnas.

"You bet that I would screw up?!" Monica asked, outraged. "So you didn't hire me because I was good."

"I did! That part is true. This is just in case you pulled a Monica," Judy answered. Monica broiled inside. How dare her mother use that phrase again!

"Come on," Judy said. "Laugh at yourself! You're always so serious."

"My Mom has no faith in me, ha, ha, ha," Monica said. "That's hilarious! Ha, ha, ha!"

"I have faith..."

"No, you have lasagnas," Monica snapped before storming off.

"I'm so lost," Phoebe said, following after her.

 **Rachel**

Chandler was in her boss' office. Chandler was handcuffed to her boss' chair. What the hell was happening here?! Sophie was looking at her curiously as she paced madly about the office. What was she gonna do?! Her intercom buzzed just then.

"What?!" she snapped angrily.

"Rachel? Can I see you for a moment?" Chandler's voice came over the intercom. Ohhh buddy was so gonna get it! She stormed into Joanna's office and slammed the door behind her.

"Here's the thing," Chandler started. "The keys to these cuffs are on the back of the door. Can you be a doll and get them for me? Nice pantsuit by the way."

"You told me you were ending this!" Rachel exploded.

"I did! She took it really, really, well!" Chandler argued.

"How could you not think about my career being in jeopardy?!"

"I did! Then something made it shoot right out," Chandler shrugged. Rachel wanted to slap him.

"You got yourself into those cuffs, you get yourself out of them," she growled, turning to leave.

"No, no, no, no!" he shouted. "You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler. I can't get out of these! I'm cold and-" He stopped to look up the ceramic woman's skirt.

"Oh my God," Rachel snapped. "Fine!" She grabbed the keys and walked towards him. "You never see Joanna again!"

"Never!"

"You never come into this office again!"

"Fine!"

"You give me back my Walkman!"

"I...I never borrowed your Walkman," he answered, puzzled.

"Fine, then I've lost it. You buy me a new one!"

"Deal!"

Rachel unlocked the cuffs, and Chandler made a groaning noise while rubbing his wrists.

"It hurts?"

"Nah. I've just always seen guys do it on TV," Chandler shrugged. He moved to the door. "Hello, sweet pants!" Rachel watched for a minute before realization hit her.

"Wait! What are you gonna tell Joanna?"

"I'll lie. I'm good at that. I actually did borrow your Walkman," Chandler snorted.

"There's nothing to lie about! She's gonna know I have a key to her office, that I was in here and let you out! I'm gonna get fired!" Rachel cried. She went over and pulled on his arm, dragging him hopping on one leg over to the chair.

"What are you doing?!"

"Putting you back the way you were!"

"Oho no!" he argued. They wrestled for a moment before Rachel managed to cuff him to the filing cabinet. He looked at his wrist and back at her.

"Well, this is much better."

"Damn it! Chandler!" Rachel begged.

"No!"

She started bartering with him things she would do for him if he would let her lock him back up in the chair. He exclaimed "no" to all of them. Then it hit her.

"I've got it," she smirked. He peered at her.

"You don't have it," he said.

"Oh yes, I do. There's gonna be rumors about this. Sophie knows. Monica and Phoebe know."

"How do they know?"

"I called them," she answered. "And I can be very generous or very _stingy_." She gestured with her hands to show him. His eyes widened.

"Go on," he said.

"I can make you a legend," she told him. "The next Milton Berle."

"And he...?"

"Not compared to you," she smirked. Chandler bobbed his head with a smile on his face.

 **Monica & Richard**

"So you showed her, huh?" Richard asked. They were at the coffeehouse together. Monica had finished telling him how she had pulled herself together and made a dish so good the lasagnas weren't even touched. Richard smiled at her gestures.

"I did! I'm getting the hang of this catering thing," she laughed.

"Good for you," he said, kissing her. Monica breathed him in. It was so nice to have someone who cared. They'd been dating again for just about a year, and she wondered if he was thinking about marriage yet. She had.

"Hey," Rachel said, coming in with Ross. Phoebe and Joey were behind them. Monica peered at Phoebe, who seemed flustered almost. It was odd.

"What are you all doing together?" Monica asked.

"Chandler's coming, and I wanted to see this for myself," Rachel said, winking. They got settled just as Chandler entered. Rachel gestured to Monica and Phoebe to start. They made eyes at him when he got closer, and he was smirking and basking in the glory.

"Hello, Chandler," Phoebe said, winking.

"I love you," Chandler said to Rachel, kissing the top of her head.

"What's going on?" Joey asked, confused. Phoebe leaned in to tell him and Ross. They sat back, snorting.

"He does not!" Ross exclaimed, laughing.

"Two whole hours that lasted," Chandler sighed.

"Please tell me you broke up with her," Rachel begged.

"Oh, yes," he nodded. He had left Joanna right where he had been a few hours before. It seemed like the perfect revenge.

 **A Week Later**

"Is he gone?" Phoebe hissed. Joey stuck his head out his door and looked. Chandler was nowhere to be seen.

"Yup," he answered. Phoebe hurried to change and got out of his room fast.

"Is he still asking you about me?" she asked.

"Naw. He seems to have let it go for now. We've also been more careful," Joey replied.

"The secrecy makes it so much better," she winked.

"Of course," he agreed, smirking. Chandler came back then, yelling back at someone. Then he slammed the door. Phoebe and Joey stared at him, and he stared back.

"What's going on?" Joey asked. Chandler pointed at Phoebe.

"She wasn't here when I left," he said.

"She just got here."

"I was in the hallway, and she didn't pass me," Chandler went on. He looked back and forth between the two. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Nope," Phoebe replied. She went to leave when Chandler caught her elbow.

"Are you two sleeping together?" he demanded. Neither Joey or Phoebe were great at thinking on their feet.

"Well," Joey started.

"Define 'sleeping,'" Phoebe said.

"Oh my God!" Chandler cried. He released her. "You are!"

"Okay don't freak out," Phoebe started.

"Too late," Joey said as Chandler started hyperventilating.

"You...y-y-you," he kept saying.

"Shhh! Chandler!" Phoebe shouted, smacking him upside the head. That stopped his panic attack.

"Dude, we don't want everyone to know," Joey chimed in. Chandler gaped at them while rubbing his head where she'd hit him.

"This is huge! I can't keep this quiet!"

"Oh but you will," Phoebe threatened. "Or do I need to remind you why not?" Chandler gulped. He forgot about their little deal.

"You have dirt on Chandler? Why didn't you tell me?" Joey asked, hurt.

"Cos I promised. He'll blow it eventually, and when he does, I'll blow his secret too," she said menacingly.

"Nothing will pass these lips I swear," Chandler promised, holding his hands up.

"Good," Phoebe said, smiling again. She patted him on the shoulder. "I'm off to work."

"Hey, do you think you could give me another massage?" Joey asked. "My back has been aching again." He followed Phoebe out the door, leaving Chandler to mock gagging as he realized why Joey's back has been hurting. Then he went over to Monica's to warn them about what Treeger had said. Chandler had unfortunately gotten into it with Treeger over the garbage disposal. The man had actually almost made him cry, but he pulled it together enough to let him have it back. Then Treeger let the bombshell of Monica illegally subletting her apartment to Emily. He told Chandler they'd get kicked out. When he got to Monica's, however, Joey and Phoebe were there too. He cringed inside.

"Oh please tell me I don't have to go to work today," Phoebe complained.

"Why?" Monica asked.

"Cos there's this hot guy I have to massage, and I want to do stuff to him that I'm not paid for," she explained. Chandler almost choked. Joey gave him a warning look.

"So do them for free," Monica laughed.

"Oh no, no I can't. It goes against my oath as a masseuse," she answered.

"You took an oath?" Ross asked, confused.

"I made it up myself," she told him, smiling.

"Can't you get someone else to do him?" Chandler confronted, giving her a look.

"Oh no," she smiled. "I can handle him." Chandler wanted to hurl.

"You look frazzled, Chandler," Rachel pointed out.

"Oh, well, you see," he started. Phoebe and Joey both looked at him. "I, uh, got into it with Treeger, and he's gonna throw you and Emily out. See ya!" He went to take off.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Monica cried, grabbing his collar and making him squeak. "What?!"

"You heard me," he said.

"Explain!"

So he did. Monica stared at him.

"You get your ass back down there and suck up to him. I mean suck like you've never sucked before!"

"Joey, can you come with me?" Chandler asked.

"Why?"

"Cos he's big and mean," Chandler replied. Joey rolled his eyes but complied. When they got there, Treeger looked as though he was in a bad mood.

"What do you want?" he asked roughly.

"Please don't kick the girls out," Chandler started. "It was my fault."

"You want me to kick you guys out instead?"

"No!"

"Where would the duck and the chick live?" Joey asked.

"You have pets?!"

"No, no," Chandler said smoothly. "That's our nicknames."

"I'm the chick," Joey said immediately.

"Yea, you look like a duck," Treeger said to Chandler, nodding. Chandler burned inside.

"Come on, whaddya say?" he said instead of blowing up. "We'll do whatever you want."

"Hmm. Anything?"

"Sure."

"Will you be my dance partner?" Treeger asked.

"Joey?" Chandler said, turning to him.

"But-"

"I have two left feet when it comes to dancing," Chandler explained.

"Well, chick," Treeger said. "You in or out?"

"I guess I'm in," Joey answered, glaring at Chandler, who felt success and getting back at Joey for making him keep his affair with Phoebe secret.

"See you later then," Treeger said, turning back to his work. Chandler and Joey went back upstairs. Joey looked at his watch.

"Damn it! I'm late!" he said, rushing off.

 **The Next Day**

"I got fired!" Phoebe cried, collapsing onto the chair. Monica and Richard were there with the others.

"No! Why?" Monica asked.

"My boss caught me making out with hot guy," Phoebe whimpered. Joey felt very bad for this. He wanted to convey that to her. He knew he shouldn't have gone in there and gotten her riled up.

"I'm so sorry," Rachel said, getting up to give her a hug.

"I've never been fired before," Phoebe cried. Chandler gave Joey a look, which Joey ignored.

"I know someone," Richard piped up, making them all look at him.

"Seriously, how do you know someone for everything?" Ross asked, amazed.

"I have connections," Richard winked. "Phoebe, I can get you an interview if you'd like."

"That would be great!" Phoebe said excitedly.

"So how's the dancing going?" Monica asked Joey, changing the subject. "Have I lost my apartment yet?"

"No," he answered. "It's going fine. I have one last practice with him tonight before he goes to the dance."

"You're enjoying it," Rachel noted, watching his face.

"Nooo."

"You are so!"

"So what if Joey is enjoying it?" Chandler asked.

"It's just amusing is all," Monica commented. Joey held his head high as he left to see Treeger.

 **A Week Later**

"Do you think Richard is ever going to propose to Monica?" Rachel asked. She and Ross were getting ready for work.

"I dunno. I mean, they've been together a year just about. Kids are off the table. They love each other. Yea, why hasn't he asked?" Ross mused.

"Maybe he's shy?"

"No. He's probably giving us enough time as newlyweds before popping the question and taking our limelight," Ross answered.

"We have limelight?" Rachel asked, teasing.

"Of course!"

"I love you," she laughed.

"I love you too," he grinned. They kissed.

"No fashion crises today," Rachel prayed to herself as they went out the door.

"I'll send my dinosaur team to help," Ross joked.

"They'd just make it worse," Rachel sighed. "But thank you."

 **Later-The Perk**

"Oh, she's pretty. So, so pretty," Chandler said, flustered. The woman at the table was stunning. He didn't know what to do with himself.

"So ask her out already," Monica laughed.

"Yea, what's the worse that could happen?" Richard asked.

"I could die," Chandler answered. "Burst into flames. Turn into stone. I dunno, you name it."

"Hey guys," Phoebe said. Her voice sounded horrible.

"Aw are you sick?" Monica asked. "Maybe don't play tonight."

"I have to. I'm unemployed. This gig is all I have," Phoebe answered. Needless to say, her interview did not go well with Richard's someone.

"Okay, wish me luck," Chandler said, getting up.

"Good luck!" Richard called. Chandler turned around.

"Wish it," he hissed. Then he turned to the woman.

"How do you think it's going?" Monica asked Richard, watching.

"Seems to be going well," he answered. Chandler and the woman were laughing now.

"I have to get to my catering job," Monica said. "Tell me what happened later."

"Will do," Richard answered, giving her a kiss. Once she was gone, he patted his legs and stood up.

"Going somewhere?" Phoebe asked.

"If you must know, yes," Richard answered vaguely.

"Now I'm intrigued," she said.

"You'll have to stay that way," he winked. He grabbed his coat and left. Phoebe watched, feeling extremely curious.

"Phoebe, you're up," Gunther said.

"Yea, I'll be right back," Phoebe replied. She left her guitar and everything to follow Richard.

 **The Next Day**

"She loves Ernie Cofax! This is unbelievable!" Chandler said excitedly. He listed off all the other things they had in common.

"Chandler loves Kathy!" Phoebe cried. She looked over at Richard and Monica. She knew who else loved someone too.

"Stop!" Chandler said, blushing.

"Look at your face!" Rachel laughed.

"Yea, man, it's pretty obvious you love her," Ross added.

"Have you guys had sex yet?" Joey asked.

"Or did you turn to jelly?" Richard questioned, smirking. Joey high fived him.

"Okay, that was uncalled for," Chandler responded.

"Are you seeing her again?" Monica asked. She didn't know why it was bothering her.

"Yes, in about fifteen minutes," Chandler replied. "So long, children!" He waved as he went out the door.

"It's nice to see him happy like this," Phoebe noted. "Since Janice I mean."

"Yea," Joey echoed. So far they hadn't needed Chandler to lie for them. They hoped it wouldn't happen, but now with Kathy hanging around it was going to be harder to sneak around.

"Well, I have to get to work," Richard sighed, giving Monica a kiss on her forehead. "I'll see you later?"

"Okay," she smiled. She watched Richard leave.

"You're in love," Phoebe commented.

"Of course! He's a perfect man," Monica laughed.

"Have you two..." Rachel started.

"No, not yet," Monica cut her off. "I don't want to freak him out." Phoebe was squirming inside.

"I'm sure he'll get the nerve up soon," Ross teased. Monica swatted him.

"We should get going, honey," Rachel said, standing up.

"See you later, Mon," Ross said, hugging her. They left Phoebe and Monica alone.

"What?" Monica asked, seeing Phoebe's face.

"Nothing," Phoebe replied. She was almost bursting, but she didn't want to ruin anything.

"I think I'm getting your cold," Monica complained.

 **Later**

"Okay," Chandler said, coming into Monica's apartment. "You all win. I'm in love. I love Kathy. There I said it!"

"Good for you," Monica smiled. She checked her watch. Richard was supposed to be there by now. She was growing worried.

"How do I not accidentally blurt that out and scare her away?" Chandler asked. "I suck at serious relationships!"

"Just take it slow," Monica advised absently.

"Time stops with her. That's love, right?"

"Mmhmm."

"Are you okay? You don't seem to be listening to my raving," Chandler noticed.

"I'm just wondering what's keeping Richard is all," she answered.

"I'm sure he just got stuck in traffic," Chandler dismissed. "Anyway..." The phone ringing cut him off. Monica hurried to answer it, thinking it was Richard telling her he was going to be late.

"Hello?"

Chandler started thinking about Kathy again. Her lips were so soft. Her smile was so bright and genuine.

"Yes, this is she..."

He wondered if she liked Baywatch. That would be an awful stretch...

"What?!"

Would it be too soon to ask her for a weekend away?

"Oh my God!"

Chandler's attention snapped back to the present. Monica was clutching the phone, her hand pressed against her mouth.

"Mon?" he asked, moving towards her. She dropped the phone and put both of her hands over her face, sobbing. "Mon?" She didn't answer. Her sobs became howls, and Chandler suddenly became very, very worried.

"Monica?" he asked again, grasping her shoulders. She finally looked at him, trying to choke out the words.

"Richard's dead."

* * *

 **Okay, so I feel the need to justify what I've done here. Monica knows she can't have children, right? So Richard is the perfect man for her, and we all know that Chandler and Monica belong together, so in order for this to happen, Richard had to go. I didn't want him coming back and interfering or making Monica doubt her decision or anything, so this was my solution. FYI, I totally bawled. I'm sorry if I made you cry too. Just so you know, I'm not planning on a lot of angst/sadness in this story, so please don't stop following!  
**

* * *

 ***Revised:**

 **Okay, I need to clarify something. I didn't say that Monica thinks Richard is perfect for her I am saying it appears he is because of the no children thing, that's my own opinion not Monica's. And no, Chandler isn't going to be "second best" and no, I am not just going to have Chandler "jump into a vacated spot" now that Richard is gone. Of course Monica is going to realize on her own that Chandler is perfect for her! I wish I could have had the chance to keep writing my story so you could see that instead of assuming what I'm gonna do cos believe me, you guys have no idea where I'm going with this story lol. Anyway, I felt I needed to straighten that out. Cheers! :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hi folks. Here is my Easter gift to you-a quick update. I also wanted to get this other semi-sad chapter out of the way before I could start carrying on with my plan, and I do have a plan. It doesn't involve Chandler being plopped into the vacated space and becoming second best as one of you suggested I was doing. Monica is going to be grieving, not looking for a replacement man right away. Yes, she loved Richard, but was he the perfect man for her? She never did say that in my story did she? That was only my musings on the subject, my justification for letting Richard die. There will be a point where she realizes things about Chandler, but not right away. If you recall, she already had those feelings from my beginning chapters before Chandler was with Janice.. Anyway, I'd really appreciate it if you, my lovely readers (and you truly are lovely, don't forget that!), would not comment on how my story is going to go before I have a chance to write it. I have so much planned and so many twists and so many great things on the way, and I want you to read them before jumping to conclusions as it leaves me feeling like I shouldn't even bother continuing. That's all I ask :) That being said, on with the show, shall we? ;)**

* * *

The silence after that statement was vast, and then Monica started weeping again hysterically. Chandler pulled her into his arms and rocked her as she cried. Then the door opened.

"Okay, I can't hold it in anymore!" Phoebe announced, bursting inside. She stopped short at the sight of Monica and Chandler.

"Phoebs," Chandler said, gesturing.

"What happened?" she asked. Monica tore away from Chandler and ran to her room, slamming the door behind her.

"It's Richard," Chandler answered.

"What?! No! He was gonna...no! How could he do this to her!" Phoebe cried. Damn the man for breaking her heart again!

"Phoebs," Chandler started.

"What?"

"He died."

Phoebe stared at him in horror as it sank in.

"Oh my God. No. No, no, no!" She banged her fist on the table at the last "no."

"What's going on?" Joey asked. "I heard crying." He looked from Chandler to Phoebe.

"Richard died, Joe," Chandler answered.

"What?!" Joey exclaimed.

"Call Ross," Chandler instructed Phoebe. "Tell him to get over here immediately."

"How?" Joey asked.

"I don't know. A bus, a cab, running?" Chandler listed.

"No, no, I mean, how did he die?"

"I don't know, "Chandler admitted. He looked at Monica's door.

"They're coming," Phoebe said, putting the phone down. The three of them sat in silence until Ross and Rachel arrived thirty minutes later.

"What's going on?" Ross asked. "You sounded really weird."

"Guys," Chandler interrupted. "Richard died." Rachel gasped and clutched Ross' arm the same time he exclaimed, "No!"

"What happened?" Rachel asked, tearing up.

"Monica didn't say," Chandler answered, gesturing to her door. Rachel immediately went over and knocked. To Chandler's surprise, Monica let her in.

"This is...wow I don't even know what to say right now," Ross said, sitting down. He was shocked. Richard seemed so healthy.

"I don't know if she'll ever get over this," Phoebe chimed in. She shared a look with Chandler.

"We just saw him," Joey lamented. They sat in silence, thinking about that morning. Rachel eventually came out alone. Ross stood up as she came to them.

"Well?"

"She wants to be alone. You guys, I've never seen her like this," Rachel said in a hushed voice.

"Did she tell you...?" Joey trailed off.

"Yea. He had a heart attack at work and another in the ambulance. He never made it to the hospital," she answered. She gripped Ross' hand in hers tightly.

"Wow," Chandler said. No one else knew what say. The phone rang again, and this time, Ross answered it.

"Hello? Hi, Mom," he said, turning away. "Yea I know. We're all shocked..."

"I can't believe this is happening to Monica," Rachel cried. "First she finds out she can't have children and now her love and best friend is dead."

"How was she when you were in there?"

"Her eyes were so swollen shut she couldn't see, and she could barely talk for crying. What do you think, Joey?" Rachel snapped.

"Sorry. I don't have much experience with this type of stuff," Joey responded desolately. Phoebe put her arm around him. Chandler gave them a worried look, but then he figured it was okay for a friend to comfort another at a time like this so it wasn't out of the ordinary. He looked at his watch.

"Shit!" he exclaimed.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Kathy! We have a date," Chandler answered.

"Are you seriously going on a date right now?" Phoebe asked, outraged.

"No, no. I'm going to tell her what happened and reschedule," Chandler replied. "I'm not the world's worst person." He went to the door. "I'll be back soon."

"Hurry," Rachel urged.

...

"Hey," Chandler said, greeting Kathy. She leaned in to kiss his cheek.

"What's wrong? You look like someone died," she laughed.

"Someone did die," he answered. She sobered up quickly.

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry! I really need to watch my opening lines," she said.

"It was my friend's boyfriend, but I've known him for two years. It was sudden," Chandler explained. He filled her in on the rest. Kathy gripped his hand in hers.

"I lost an uncle that way," she murmured. "Go. Be with your friend. She needs you."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Of course! She's your friend. I'd be there if it was my friend," she answered. "Call me when things calm down. Send her my condolences."

"Okay," he promised. He gave her a kiss before leaving.

...

"Mon?" Ross called through the door. "Can I come in?" The door opened in response, and Ross went inside and closed it behind him. He saw his sister sitting on the bed looking at him so mournfully his heart broke a little.

"Mon," he said going over to her. She started crying again. He sat beside her and put his arm around her. She buried her face into his shoulder.

"Why?" she asked through her tears. "Why?"

"I don't know," he answered, smoothing her hair with his hand. He had managed to put off his parents coming, which was an award winning act on his part. Judy had been very insistent until Jack told her to take a hint. After a while of crying, Monica sat up straight.

"I guess I have to face the world sometime," she said, sniffing.

"You can stay in here for now it's okay," Ross assured her.

"No. I need to be strong. Will you help me?"

"Of course. I'm here for you every step of the way," Ross promised.

"I love you," she said tearfully.

"I love you too."

"I wish I had said that to him today," she sobbed. Ross held her again while she cried it out. He made a mental note to tell Rachel he loved he every time he left the room. He could only imagine what Monica was feeling right now.

...

Chandler had a hard time falling asleep. He felt so badly for Monica. He couldn't imagine losing someone he loved like that. He thought of Kathy and how he would feel if he lost her. He knew he would be devastated, and he had only just briefly dated Kathy. He sighed, rolling over. How was he going to help Monica get through this? He had no idea where to even start. Joey wasn't home, and Chandler knew exactly where he was-Phoebe's. He was still trying to comprehend that relationship. They did seem to suit each other, and Chandler hoped that they wouldn't break each other's hearts. It would be terrible for their little group. He was relieved that Ross and Rachel worked out cos he could only imagine what a break up between them would have been like. Chandler was still awake when there was light knocking on his door. It could only be one person at two in the morning. He shuffled to the door and opened it. Monica was standing in the hall wordlessly.

"Are you all right?" he asked, worried suddenly.

"Can I just sit in here for a while? I feel so alone," she replied.

"Yes of course," he said, letting her in. She went over to the canoe and sat in it. Chandler sat on the floor beside her. He waited for her to speak partly because he didn't know what to say.

"I can't believe this happened," she said after a while. "I just saw him. He was right here." Her voice cracked again. Chandler reached out and took her hand in his.

"I know," he said. She started crying.

"I don't know how I'm going to get through this," she said thickly.

"With us. You're going to get through it with us. We will be here for you 24/7. You are not alone in this," Chandler reassured her.

"I'm sorry," she sniffed. "You've got this great relationship starting, and I'm crapping all over it with my bad news."

"Mon, stop that," Chandler said seriously. "None of this is your fault."

"Is she The One?" Monica asked tearfully.

"I...I think she might be," Chandler admitted.

"Then hold on to her. Tell her you love her every day, and for God's sake, don't freak out over commitment," she said, snorting at the last part.

"I won't," he promised.

"Are canoes comfortable to sleep in?" she asked, looking around.

"Not exactly. I tried," he answered. "You can have my bed if you want."

"What about you?"

"I'm fine right here."

"No, seriously..."

"I've got Joey's bed don't worry about it."

"He's not here?"

"No. He's out."

"Oh. Okay. If you're sure."

"I'm sure," Chandler nodded.

"All right." Monica got up and went into Chandler's room.

"Don't mind the chick," he called after her. "She likes to cuddle." He thought he heard a small laugh come from her, but he wasn't sure. He fell backwards on the floor. He wasn't going to sleep in Joey's room, not after knowing what went on in there between his two friends. It felt awkward.

 **3 Days Later**

It was a dark, rainy day on the day Richard was laid to rest. The friends stood in the graveyard, watching as each family member dropped the pile of dirt onto the coffin. Monica felt her heart crack at every thud of sand hitting wood. Everyone had been so supportive, and everyone had also given her space when she needed it. She had barely been able to speak at the funeral, and her friends had come to stand with her so she could finish without collapsing. Now, each friend had their hand on either her shoulder, arm, or back, and she couldn't be more grateful to have them in her life. After the ritual was finished, she felt them squeeze whatever part of her they had a hold of.

"What do you want to do?" Ross asked her gently.

"I want to go home."

...

"Do you think Monica is ever going to be all right again?" Joey asked Phoebe. They were at his apartment. Chandler was out with Kathy. Ross and Rachel were still over with Monica, but it was getting late, so they assumed Monica would be alone soon. Joey was worried about her.

"I don't know," Phoebe replied honestly. The secret she was carrying was killing her. No one seemed to be telling it, and she wondered why.

"Are you all right?" Joey asked, sensing she was upset still too.

"It's just not fair," she answered. "Joey, Richard was going to propose to her."

"What?!"

"Yea. I followed him the day he...well before he...you know, and he went into a jewelry store, and I watched him pick out an engagement ring. He was smiling so huge when he left. I know it was for Monica."

"Oh my God," Joey said.

"I know. What do I do? Should I tell her?"

"I...I don't know. That might make things worse."

"Or it might prove he really did love her," Phoebe said.

"Let's ask Ross."

"No! This stays between you and me, okay? I think it should."

"Oh, but Phoebs..."

"No, Joey. It's our secret."

"All right."

...

"How is she?" Kathy asked, sweeping her hand across Chandler's forehead to brush his hair.

"Tired. Sad. Lonely. How else can she be after losing the love of her life," Chandler answered.

"He really was eh?"

"I think so. I mean, she never told me, but I assume so."

"Gosh. I can't even imagine..."

"Me either."

"I really want to visit with her and talk to her."

"I can ask. I don't know if she's up to visitors right now," Chandler said.

"Let me know what she says."

"I will."

...

"Ross, what are we going to do?" Rachel asked mournfully.

"There's nothing we can do except be here for her," Ross answered. They were back home after making sure Monica was okay for the night. There was always Joey right there if she needed anything urgent.

"I feel like I should be doing more..."

"I know. There isn't though."

"Please don't die on me," Rachel said suddenly.

"Rach, we're all going to die at some point," Ross pointed out.

"I know, but let me go first. I'm not strong enough to lose you."

"I'm flattered you think I'm the strong one in this relationship," Ross tried to joke. She swatted him.

"You know what I mean!"

"Yes, I do," he nodded. "I will do my best, Rachel, to not die first."

"Thank you."

"Come here," he said, pulling her into a hug.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

 **Over 3 Weeks Later**

"Can I help with anything? Anything at all?" Rachel asked, leaning over the table and watching Monica cook. It was Thanksgiving, and Monica had insisted that she host it despite everyone worrying that she was still too upset.

"Rach, I'm fine," Monica answered. "I promise."

"Okay."

Ross let her sit on his lap on the couch while they watched the football game. Joey and Phoebe were sitting in separate chairs, but they kept looking at each other secretly. Chandler was with Kathy. Monica wanted to keep going forward with life. Yes, some nights she still cried herself to sleep and felt like she was broken into a thousand pieces, but she had some days where she'd go hours without thinking of him while at work, which made her feel bad. She had gone to see a therapist, who reassured her that grief was ever changing, waxing and waning, and there would be good days and bad days and to not feel guilty if Richard wasn't on her mind every second of every minute of every day. She went over to the freezer, and before long, she was hacking away at it to clear out the ice.

"What is wrong with this freezer?" she said out loud. Then, a piece of ice came flying out and nailed her right in the eye. "OWW!"

"What, what, what?" Ross said, rushing over to her.

"My eye," Monica whimpered. The others soon surrounded her.

"Can I see it?" Ross asked. Monica tried to open her eye, but it hurt too much.

"No. I can't open it," she replied.

"You should go to the eye doctor," Phoebe suggested. Ross glared at her.

"I don't have one anymore," Monica said quietly.

"Maybe there's a different one now," Rachel cut in. The others nodded.

"Fine. Call then," Monica huffed. Phoebe did as she was told.

"There's an on call doctor," she said, covering the receiver.

"Okay. I'll go."

...

"Are you all right?" Kathy asked. They were with her family in Chicago, and Chandler was feeling nervous.

"Yea. Do they like me?" he finally asked.

"Oh, Chandler," Kathy laughed. "Of course they like you!" It was an understatement. Her mother had actually told her how much she loved Chandler. Her father kept asking if it was serious, which she took as a good sign.

"Okay good. I never know how parents like me," Chandler joked. Kathy patted his hand.

"Well, you don't have to try too hard with my family," she smiled. Chandler grinned back. He was trying not to think about Monica right now. He knew she'd be missing Richard at this time of year. When he had called to check in, Ross promised that Monica was doing well. It made him feel a little better.

...

"Tim," Monica said, staring. Timothy Burke stared back.

"Hi," he replied. "Right this way." Phoebe felt unsure of what to do, so she kept her mouth shut. Monica followed Tim into the office. She sat down on the chair, and she didn't even know what to say.

"How are you?" he asked, breaking into her thoughts. She looked up to see concern in his eyes.

"How am I? How are you?" Monica said sadly. "You lost your father."

"And you lost your partner. That's pretty equal in my books," Tim replied. "You didn't answer my question."

"I'm holding on," Monica told him. "What about you? You're back working..."

"I had to do something. It keeps me busy and it makes me feel close to him, you know? I can't hide in my room forever. He wouldn't want me to," Tim added.

"No, he wouldn't," Monica agreed.

"So what happened?" Tim asked. Monica stared at him, confused. Surely he knew how his father died? "To your eye."

"Oh! I was chipping at ice, and a piece hit me in the eye," she answered, feeling stupid.

"Let's have a look," he said, flicking his light on. "Ah. You've scraped your cornea. Nothing an eye patch won't fix. You'll have to wear it for a few days."

"Like a pirate?"

"If you want to think of it like that then yea." Tim put away his light and handed her an eye patch. She took it gingerly.

"If you ever want to talk, Tim..."

"I know where to find you," he finished. "Thank you. Same for you."

"Thanks," Monica bobbed her head. She went out to join Phoebe in the waiting room.

"Was it awful?" Phoebe asked when they went outside.

"No, just sad."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm not going to shatter into pieces if that's what you mean."

"Oh good. I don't think I could put you back together."

"I was joking, Phoebe."

"All right. Joking is good!"

"Phoebs, I'm okay. Really," Monica promised. She looped her arm around Phoebe's neck and hugged her. She would survive because she was Monica and because she had amazing people there to support her.


	22. Chapter 22

**3 Weeks Later**

"Monica, Monica, Monica!" Phoebe was chanting. She was out of breath after racing up all the stairs. Monica turned to face her when she came bursting through the door.

"What? What is it?" she asked, feeling worried.

"I got us a van!" Phoebe shouted. Monica gave her a quizzical look.

"A van?"

"For our catering business!" Ever since Richard died, Phoebe had been sticking to Monica like glue to the point she became her partner in the catering business, which had been slow lately because Monica hadn't felt up to working much.

"Wow!" Monica exclaimed.

"Come see it!" Phoebe urged, grabbing her hand and pulling her along. Joey and Chandler were coming out of their apartment and saw them rushing down the stairs.

"What's the hurry?" Chandler asked.

"The van!" Phoebe shouted over her shoulder. Joey and Chandler looked at each other and shrugged before following them down. Ross and Rachel were approaching the coffee house when they saw them all standing around a van.

"This is great," Monica said, examining it. The woman with the sword was a bit much, but they could fix that.

"I think I know that girl," Joey said, tilting his head.

"Bitchin' van!" Ross exclaimed, putting his arm around Monica's shoulders.

"Very noticeable," Rachel commented.

"I don't know what to do about this, though," Phoebe said, flicking a switch and making the woman's nipples light up red.

"Oh yea, I know that girl," Joey nodded. Phoebe gave him a look, which made him smirk in return.

"Well, I gotta go to work," Rachel said, kissing Ross. "Big job interview today!"

"Good luck!" the others called after her. The others went back up to Monica's apartment except Chandler. Kathy was coming over. Monica had some news herself, but she was worried that Phoebe would get upset.

"Everything all right?" Ross asked her, noticing she seemed nervous.

"I'm fine. I just got a chance to be a food critic," she blurted out. She looked at Phoebe.

"Oh," Phoebe said, looking disappointed.

"It's only one night a week, and it means we all get free food," Monica went on hurriedly.

"Oh!" Phoebe exclaimed. "Cool!"

"Yea, awesome!" Ross chimed in. Joey pumped his fist. Who would turn down free food?

 **Chandler & Kathy**

"So, I'm going to my parents' tonight," Kathy said, kissing Chandler. "You'll be okay by yourself?"

"I...I think so," Chandler said, feigning fear and worry. Kathy laughed.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Go have fun. I'm sure I can find something to do around here," he told her. His phone rang then, so he reached to answer it. Kathy rested her head on his chest while he greeted the person. Then he suddenly jumped off the couch, making her fall onto the floor.

"Gandolf!" he practically shrieked. Kathy looked up at him, rubbing her head. "No way! You are! Aaaawesooome! See you soon!" He hung up and started jumping up and down.

"Who was that?" Kathy asked, getting up.

"The one and only Mike 'Gandolf' Ganderson," Chandler said excitedly.

"Who is he?"

"The best partier in the whole world!"

"Oh boy," Kathy laughed.

"He's coming tonight. Oh my God! I have to tell Ross!" Chandler said, racing to the door.

"Goodbye then," Kathy said, laughing. He ran back to give her another kiss before turning and running over to Monica's. Kathy grabbed her purse, shaking her head in amusement as she left.

 **Monica's Apartment**

"Hey, Ross, quick question. Are you ready to party tonight?!" Chandler asked. The others looked at him.

"I dunno. I was gonna have some beers and watch this thing on bumblebees on Discovery Channel," Ross answered.

"No, no. Are you ready to _party_?!" Chandler said again.

"Nooooo, Gandolf?! Gandolf is coming to town?!" Ross exclaimed, getting excited. Chandler hopped up and down.

"That's right! Kathy's going to her parents' place, and I have nothing to do, so tonight and tomorrow we're partying with Gandolf, dude!"

"Dude, we are soooo gonna party!" Ross cried, pumping his fist.

"Dude alert," Phoebe snorted. "Who is this guy?"

"Mike 'Gandolf' Ganderson, the funnest guy in the world," Ross told her.

"I'm gonna call in sick for work tomorrow," Chandler said, running for the phone.

"I'm calling after you!" Ross called after him. "This is gonna be great! We never party anymore!"

"That's cos you're respective adults," Monica pointed out. They both ignored her.

"What do you mean we don't have fun? We have fun together. Remember when we saw the strippers and you paid me 50 bucks to eat a book?" Joey asked.

"Joey, you will love this guy. He is a party wizard!" Ross said.

"Why is he called Gandolf?"

"From the Lord of the Rings? Didn't you read that in high school?"

"No, I had sex in high school," Joey answered, looking at them.

"Woooooo! Gandolf!" Chandler hollered as he raced back out the door. Ross was on his heels.

"I could be a wizard," Joey said after they left.

"Of course you could be," Phoebe agreed, patting his arm. "You're a wizard in bed." Monica raised her eyebrows at them.

"What?" she asked.

"I mean, that's what I've heard," Phoebe hastily corrected herself. "I don't know that firsthand." Joey felt nervous suddenly as Monica surveyed them with a curious look.

"Nope. Sure don't. I, uh, have an audition to get to," Joey said, coughing and leaving.

"I gotta figure out what to do with the van," Phoebe said, hurrying out the door behind him. Monica stood there feeling like she was missing something.

 **Ross & Rachel **

"How was your interview, sweetie?" Ross asked when Rachel came home. She stood in the doorway looking furious before slamming the door behind her.

"That good, huh?" he asked. "What happened?"

"Joanna! That's what happened! She made me look like an incompetent bimbo!" she shrieked. "Every question they asked, she piped up with a story or an example of how I looked like I could barely get to work in the morning!"

"What a bitch!" Ross exclaimed. "Come here." He pulled her into a hug, and she started crying.

"How am I going to ever get ahead when she's holding all the cards?" Rachel asked.

"I dunno. Maybe she'll get hit by a bus or something," Ross said, trying to make a joke.

"Ross! Don't even say that! That's not funny," Rachel scolded, but there was a hint of a smile on her face.

"That's all I was going for," Ross said, touching her cheek. "Of course I don't wish that on anyone."

"I am so not getting that job," Rachel moaned.

"You just march in there tomorrow and demand her to make it right," Ross said, trying to encourage her.

"Yea. I will," Rachel said. "For right now, I just want a glass of wine and my feet up." Ross went to get her a glass while she took her shoes off and propped them up on the coffee table.

"Here you go," he said, handing her the glass.

"You spoil me," she smiled. "What's on the agenda for tonight?"

"Well, Gandolf is coming to town," Ross started.

"Gandolf! Ross! Be careful. Don't forget what happened last time," Rachel warned.

"You're right. I need to go buy a snake bite kit," he said. Rachel just shook her head.

"You guys are nuts," she said.

"It's fun, and a little fun around here wouldn't hurt, especially since..." Ross trailed off. He didn't like bringing up Richard's death much, but Rachel knew what he was referring to.

"I know. Have fun, but good, clean fun not something crazy, okay?"

"I will try," he said, kissing her forehead. "I'll see you later."

"Come home in one piece!" she shouted after he went out the door.

 **Joey & Phoebe**

"You know I'm a little bit insulted," Joey said. Phoebe was giving him a massage at her place in the bedroom. "I'm a fun guy, right? Why would Ross and Chandler say they haven't had fun?"

"You are a fun guy. I guess this Gandolf is just more fun," Phoebe said.

"Well, I'll show him. Tonight I'll show him who's the funnest guy ever," Joey said, making a face.

"Of course you will," Phoebe encouraged. He rolled around so that he was facing her, pulling her down for a kiss.

"I hate to leave you," he said.

"Go. Show up the wizard," Phoebe said. "Then tell me all about it later."

"Will do," he grinned, kissing her again. Then he got up and got dressed. Phoebe watched from the bed.

"Do you think Monica is doing okay?" she asked while Joey put his t-shirt on.

"I think so. She took the critic gig, so that means she's willing to go out in public and work again."

"She was working with me," Phoebe said, disgruntled.

"Yea, but she stayed in the back and cooked while you mingled with the customers. This way, she's going out in public."

"I see," Phoebe nodded. "I'm worried she's going to abandon our business."

"Maybe it's for the better if she does," Joey suggested.

"But what am I gonna do?" Phoebe complained.

"You'll find work again I know it," Joey assured her. "I gotta run. I'll see you later." Phoebe flopped back down onto the bed, feeling disgruntled.

 **The Next Day**

"I'm so bummed Gandolf didn't come," Ross said. He was with Chandler and Joey at the Perk, and all three were supporting sore, dry throats and headaches from their attempt to party last night.

"Well, we did learn that we are too old to party," Chandler said. "I mean, come on, we can't do that stuff anymore. We have responsibilities. Ross, you're married for God's sake, and Joey, you're an actor. The time for acting like an idiot has passed."

"Yea. I mean, did the music have to be that _loud_ ," Ross said, gripping his forehead as another pulse from his headache went past.

"Hey, guys," Monica said, entering. "How was the wizard?"

"He didn't show," Ross answered.

"Oh, that's too bad," Monica said sympathetically. "You guys were so excited."

"Eh. We discovered we're too old to party," Chandler sighed.

"Well, are you too old for free food?" she asked. "I'm going to Allesandro's tonight to critique."

"We are never too old for free food," Joey said seriously.

"Yea, did you even have to ask?" Ross laughed.

"Good. I'll see you guys there," Monica said, smiling. Chandler felt glad to see her smile. It seemed like she hadn't smiled so freely in a long time.

 **Evening**

"Thank you guys for coming," Monica said. They were about to dig into their meals. She raised her glass. "To us."

"To us," the others replied, smiling at each other and clinking glasses.

"And to Rachel, for becoming an assistant buyer!" Monica added.

"Oh, you guys," Rachel blushed. She had convinced Joanna to make that position for her. She would be starting tomorrow.

"Well, tuck in! Enjoy the free food," Monica said, picking up her fork. Joey was the first to put his fork into his mouth as always. Monica noticed his facial expression change to one of disgust.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," he lied. "It's great!" He swallowed hard.

"Oh, sweet Mother of God," Phoebe choked, pounding her chest with her fist. She caught Monica's eye. "It's just so good."

"I, uh, I forgot I already ate," Rachel said, setting her fork down. Ross started coughing, his eyes watering.

"Mmmmmm," Chandler said sarcastically, forcing himself to swallow.

"Okay, that's it," Monica said, shoving some food into her mouth. She immediately wanted to spit it right back out. "Oh my God!"

"It's...it's..." Joey tried.

"Awful," Monica finished for him. "I'm so sorry you guys."

"Well, at least we didn't have to pay for it," Ross said.

"How is anyone eating this?" Rachel asked, looking around. The restaurant was fairly dead save for an elderly couple in one corner and what looked like a bunch of high teenagers in the other.

"I'm afraid to say that my review isn't going to pleasant," Monica said.

"Oh my God," Rachel said. "Is our waiter carrying our breadsticks in his pants?!"

"Let's get out of here," Monica said. They all stood up and piled out the door.

 **The Next Day**

"It's Allesandro from Allesandro's," the man's voice said. Monica panicked. He'd read her review! How did he know where she lived? It was a little creepy.

"I'm not letting you in," Monica said.

"Oh, do you need to get in?" Phoebe's voice said. "Here you go."

"Phoebe!"

"Oh, hey, Mon!"

"Damn it," Monica muttered. Within moments there was banging on her door. She opened it to find a very disgruntled looking man standing there.

"You must retract your review!" he demanded. "Our food is not inedible swill!"

"I couldn't eat it! I have five friends who couldn't eat it, and one of them eats books!" she cried. They glared at each other.

"Well, our service wasn't grossly incompetent," he argued.

"Um, what do you call a waiter who carries breadsticks in his pants?" Monica asked.

"All right, but still, you said we accept the Discovery Card, which we do not," Allesandro finished.

"Fine, I'll take that out, but the rest stays! You're an Italian restaurant for God's sake, and your food tasted nothing like it. I will show you what a good sauce tastes like. Give me those tomatoes," she ordered. Allesandro obliged. Within the hour, she had a sauce made, and after he tasted it, he offered her the job as head chef right away.

"I...I don't know what to say," she said.

"Say yes," he begged. "I will lose my restaurant if I keep going the way I am."

"Well..."

"You will make it beautiful," he went on. "I know you will."

"Oh all right," she said, blushing. "I'll do it!" Allesandro gave her a huge hug, which she reluctantly returned.

"I will see you tomorrow!" he cried before leaving. Monica felt ecstatic, but then she felt worried. How was she going to tell Phoebe that she was abandoning their catering business?

 **Phoebe**

She had been incredibly hurt that Monica was bailing on their business, but she decided to hear her friend out after her initial reaction of storming off.

"Hi," Monica said. "I'm so glad you're gonna hear me out."

"I'm hearing," Phoebe replied.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I've found some things you could do with the van," Monica started. "You could be a flower delivery person!"

"What?!" Phoebe was outraged.

"Or a bakery delivery person..." Monica tried.

"Wha-what?!"

"Pizza?"

"Mon!"

"Okay I'm sensing you don't want to deliver."

"No."

"If you don't want to deliver, then I guess you don't want to pick up either."

"No," Phoebe said quickly. Monica deflated.

"Okay, you know what? Let's...let's just do the catering business," she said.

"Really?" Phoebe asked, getting excited.

"Yea. I made the commitment to you, it'll be fun," Monica said. Phoebe noticed she didn't look too happy in her eyes when she said it.

"Oh it will be so much fun!" Phoebe cried. "I already got us a wedding reception! Oh, I'll start making plans!" She grabbed the notebook and flipped to find a blank page. Ten pages later, there still was ideas for the van, so Phoebe stopped. She looked at Monica.

"You really wanted me to do something with this van," she said. Monica didn't respond. "You know what, I want you to take the head chef job."

"Are you sure?" Monica asked, getting a little bit of the light back in her eyes. Phoebe knew she was doing the right thing.

"Yes. You really want it, and I want you to be happy. I don't want to be the reason you're unhappy," Phoebe said. "Especially since..."

"I know," Monica said softly. "It's kind of the first time I've felt excited about anything since Richard died."

"And I don't want to ruin that," Phoebe said. "Take the job. You'll be fantastic at it."

"Aww Phoebs," Monica said, tearing up. Phoebe pulled her into a huge embrace.

"I love you," Phoebe said.

"I love you too," Monica sniffed.

 **Ross & Rachel **

"How was your first day as an assistant buyer?" Ross asked when Rachel came in.

"I will never be an assistant buyer. I am being demoted to Personal Shopper," Rachel said.

"What? What happened?"

"Joanna died, that's what happened," Rachel answered. Ross covered his hand with his mouth.

"Oh my God! How?"

"Hit by a cab," she answered, looking at him. Ross felt nauseous suddenly.

"I...I said bus," he said. "Not cab. I had nothing to do with it."

"Maybe not, but you still said it out loud!" she said. "What am I going to do?!"

"I had no idea I had that much power," Ross said, thinking.

"Ross! I'm being serious here!"

"I'm sorry. This is just so...wild. I don't know what to say."

"I should have made her write the contract on the spot," Rachel muttered. "Don't tell Monica that Joanna died."

"Why not?"

"I just think it's still too soon after Richard..."

"Rachel, she's not fragile. She can hear about people dying it's not going to make her worse," Ross said.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. We can't treat her with kid gloves it won't help. People die, Rach, it's the way of life."

"I know. I just didn't want to make her sad again, especially since she got the head chef job."

"It won't make her sad," Ross promised. He hugged her tightly. He really hoped it wouldn't. He didn't let on to the others, but he was worried about Monica. Her light was slowly coming back, but he knew she was still sad deep inside. He knew he wouldn't be fully himself if something happened to Rachel.

 **Monica & Chandler**

"Hey," Chandler said, coming into the apartment. "Christmas is coming up fast, and I have no idea what to get Kathy. Any suggestions?"

"Why? Cos I'm a girl?" Monica asked, trying to hide her tears.

"Well, ye-what's wrong?" he asked, seeing her wipe her eyes. "Are you all right?"

"I just...I really miss Richard," she said, crying again. It wasn't just about Richard. Her staff at the restaurant were being complete assholes, and she didn't want to admit that to anyone right now, especially Phoebe. She didn't want anyone to worry about her.

"Aww Mon," Chandler said, going around and pulling her into a hug. "I know you do. I'm sorry I'm so daft."

"You're not. I just have these moments every now and then," Monica said.

"And you will," Chandler nodded.

"He loved Christmas," she sniffled.

"Mmhmm," Chandler said, not sure of what else to say.

"Anyway," Monica said, pulling away. "You're having a crisis?"

"Mon, my crisis can wait," Chandler said.

"No. I need things to distract me, and this is good," she said. "Didn't you mention about a book she loved as a child?"

"The Velveteen Rabbit!" he exclaimed. "Yes! That's perfect!"

"Glad to help," Monica smiled through her tears. Chandler squeezed her hand.

"If you ever need to talk, Mon, I'm here," he said.

"Thanks, Chandler," she replied. There really wasn't much to say other than she missed Richard like crazy. "Actually, I want to take a wreath to his grave on Christmas Day. Will you go with me?"

"Sure," he said instantly. "Count me in."

"Okay," she nodded.

"We'll get through, eh?" he said.

"Yea. We'll get through," she answered. She knew her friends loved her, and she loved them. She couldn't ask for more.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	23. Chapter 23

**I haven't forgotten about this story I promise. I was trying to wrap up some shorter stories first. I also have been trying to get my house ready to move into, and it's a LOT of work still to go. Anyway, happy reading!**

* * *

 **A Week Later**

"Joey! You were supposed to let me fire you!" Monica hissed. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"I'm so sorry! I was gonna do it, but I'm standing here with 258 dollars in one hand and 327 dollars in the other, and I was thinking that it's been a long time since I've had..." He stops to do the math.

"585 dollars," Monica finished.

"How did you do that?" he asked, surprised.

"That is so not the issue here," Monica interrupted gruffly. "You were supposed to make me look tough! I've got to fire you!"

"And I've got to pay rent! Look, what if I stay here and gain their trust, and after a while they'll start listening to the nice things I've been saying about you?" he posed.

"You've been saying nice things about me?" she asked, happy.

"Well, not yet. They really hate you, and I want to fit in," he replied sheepishly.

"I think it would be best for you right now to get out of my sight," she said tightly.

"Yes, ma'am," Joey bowed before scurrying off. Monica sighed. She went back to work, trying not to think about Richard for the millionth time. Ross had told her about Joanna dying, and even though she promised it wouldn't upset her, a tiny part of her felt upset. She was sick of death. Sick of bullies. Sick of feeling this way. It had only been seven weeks and a bit since Richard died, but it still felt like yesterday. There was no way she was going to lie down and take this nonsense. She would fight back. It was time to pull a Monica one more time.

 **Phoebe**

"Argh! This song is driving me nuts," Phoebe groaned, throwing her pen and paper down.

"Then don't write it," Joey suggested.

"But I have to! It's almost Christmas, and I need a holiday song," Phoebe argued.

"What's got you stumped?" he asked. They were at his apartment, and she was sitting on the stool at the counter. He leaned over her shoulder to look.

"Nothings rhymes with Rachel," Phoebe complained.

"How about angel?"

"It's better than dreidel," she agreed, crossing it out.

"Oohh Chandler, that's a hard one," Joey mused.

"I might lump him in with someone," she answered.

"Good idea." He gave her a kiss then.

"Hello, children," Chandler said, entering as if on cue. "Oh, no do you guys have to do that?"

"It's part of dating," Joey shrugged.

"Yes, but do I have to see it?"

"You're the only one who knows about it," Phoebe laughed.

"Does it have to stay that way? I mean come on, you guys have been together a while now. Let the world know," Chandler begged. Phoebe and Joey looked at each other.

"Nah, we're not ready," Phoebe replied.

"Damn it," Chandler muttered.

"Hey, look. I got rent!" Joey exclaimed, waving the cash around.

"Wow, where did you get all that?" Chandler asked.

"Tips at Monica's restaurant."

"Dude, you gotta let her fire you! She's suffering over there," Chandler chastised.

"I know, I know! I just...it's been a long time having this much money, man," Joey whined. "I can't do any more experiments right now my doctor said it could really damage me."

"All right, but promise you'll do it soon," Chandler warned.

"Deal."

 **Ross & Rachel **

"What are we going to do for Christmas this year?" Rachel asked. Ross was flossing his teeth.

"I dunno. I haven't really thought of it," he replied truthfully.

"I mean, we could go to my Mom's and listen to her cry about past Christmases and put down Dad, or we could go to your parents and hear about how Monica needs to move on," Rachel mused. "Which sounds more appealing?"

"Neither," Ross answered.

"What if we did our own thing?" she asked.

"I'm listening," he said, sitting down beside her.

"I mean, we could stop by and visit your parents in the afternoon and see mine the next day but have dinner here with our friends."

"I think Phoebe is going to her birth mom's this year," Ross said. "And Joey always goes to his family's."

"Chandler?"

"I think he's going to Chicago with Kathy," he answered.

"Well, I guess it would be a lot of work for just the three of us," Rachel said wistfully. "Let's just go to your parents' then."

"I'm sorry, sweetie," Ross apologized.

"It's okay. Maybe one day we will have our own traditions," she smiled. Ross hoped so. Little did she know, though, that he had a plan formulating.

 **Two Days Later**

"What do you want from me? Do you want me to quit?" Monica cried. She was standing outside the freezer covered in marinara sauce. Joey knew he had to do something, and he knew exactly what.

"Hey, Chef Geller," he piped up. "Remember your speech the other day? Well, I got a problem with it."

"You do?" Monica asked hopefully.

"You bet I do. I just, uh, wasn't listening then."

"Well, if you want a problem, I'll give you a problem!" Monica cried, getting into it now.

"Oh yea? What are you gonna do? Fire me?" Joey challenged.

"You bet your ass I'm gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!" Monica shouted. Joey made a show of throwing down his apron and storming out. He wasn't an actor for nothing. Everyone was stunned. Monica finally had their attention.

"Anyone else got a problem?"

"No, ma'am," the one called Chuckles said.

"Then you, get the swordfish! And you, start chopping those onions! And you, get a haircut!" she hollered. Power back felt very good. After about a few minutes of reveling in her victory, Joey came back in.

"Guess I shoulda thought about my wife and kids before back talking to Chef Geller," he said loudly. Monica squeezed his arm.

"Thanks," she smiled.

"Gonna be a lean Christmas in the Tribbiani household this year."

"Okay, enough," Monica warned.

"Yup. Lean, lean, leeaan," Joey continued as he walked out the door. Monica just shook her head, containing her laughter.

 **Later**

Phoebe cleared her throat at the microphone. The gang turned to face her. It was time for her big Christmas song.

" _Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap.  
Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap.  
Said all you need is to write them a song.  
They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along.  
No, don't sing along._

 _Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah.  
Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross.  
And to tell Rachel that she's an angel.  
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy_! _  
And lastly to Chandler, have err-umm-glander_!"

"Wow," Monica said.

"She couldn't find anything for my name," Chandler pouted.

"The angel line was my idea," Joey bragged.

"Well, it was sweet," Rachel grinned. "Thanks, Joey!"

"Merry Christmas everybody!" Phoebe called, waving.

 **December 25**

Monica opened her eyes. Here it was. Another difficult day to get through. She didn't think she could deal with her mother today. The fussing and "Why don't you try dating again?" b.s. was getting annoying. The man was barely 8 weeks gone! She slid out of bed and padded out to the living room.

"Merry Christmas!" Emily called.

"Wh-what?" Monica stammered. "What are you doing here?!"

"Well, my flight got cancelled because of the weather," Emily explained. "So I'm spending Christmas here with you." Monica felt a little relieved. Emily hadn't been around lately, but she knew about Richard. She had this way of making Monica feel better without trying too hard.

"Huh," Monica said, looking outside. The snow was indeed coming down. The clock said nine in the morning.

"Merry Christmas!" Phoebe and Joey called, bursting through the door.

"Hey! I thought you were going to Montauk?" Monica asked Phoebe.

"My Mom had other plans," Phoebe shrugged. "And I don't think I could get out there in this weather anyway."

"And you," Monica said, turning to Joey. "You've always got a big dinner..."

"I wanted to spend it with you guys," Joey answered. "I get to skip the whole who's gonna eat the most turkey before throwing up game."

"Sounds...interesting," Monica laughed.

"My Dad always wins," Joey mused.

"Hey, you guys!" Rachel cried, coming in with Ross in tow. "Merry Christmas!" Monica saw Joey and Ross share a look, and she knew her brother was behind all this. The only one missing was Chandler. She felt a little bit sad, but not enough to ruin her mood. Ross set down the bags of ingredients and the turkey.

"You didn't have to do this," Monica said to him while the others chatted.

"I wanted to. Besides, you don't need Mom going at you today," he said.

"You're the best," she replied, hugging him.

"Ho, ho, ho!" Chandler chanted, coming inside. Monica looked over at him.

"You're not in Chicago?" she asked.

"No. I promised a friend I'd take a wreath to her loved one's grave today," he answered. Monica teared up a little.

"You want us all to come?" Ross asked.

"No. I'll be okay," Monica promised.

...

The snow was coming down heavy while Monica and Chandler stood before Richard's grave. Someone else had left a wreath already, and Monica suspected either Richard's ex wife or one of his children.

"You okay?" Chandler asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Yea. I mean, I'm sad, but I don't feel like the world is ending anymore, you know? Is that bad?" she asked, worried.

"Not at all. We are allowed to move on. It doesn't mean we forget or love them any less," Chandler answered. "I don't think Richard would want you to stay so sad anyway."

"You're right. He'd give me a kick in the pants," Monica grinned ruefully.

"He knows you love him, and he loves you. Don't let it bring you down," Chandler advised. "Let it fill you up and make you smile."

"I feel like he's with me sometimes," Monica nodded.

"Hopefully not when you're dropping a deuce," Chandler joked.

"Chandler!"

"I'm kidding," he laughed. She swatted him anyway.

"Did Kathy like the book?"

"She loved it."

"I'm glad."

"Me too."

"You really love her, huh?"

"I do. I honestly think one day, she might be my wife," Chandler said. Monica felt a small twinge inside of her. It surprised her.

"Look at you, all grown up," she teased.

"I know. It scares me," Chandler laughed.

"Shall we?" she asked, gesturing. He looped his arm through hers, and they walked back to the apartment where all her friends and brother were working to make it a happy Christmas after all.

 **Two to Three Weeks Later**

"Frank and Alice want you to what?!" Joey asked, incredulous. His news about working at the museum with Ross went flying out the window.

"They want me to carry their children," Phoebe confirmed. Joey gaped at her.

"You have to have sex with your brother?!"

"No! Ew! I'm just the surrogate. It's their sperm and egg. I'm literally just the oven to their bun," Phoebe explained.

"Oh, I get it. You had me going for a second," he laughed. "So, are you gonna do it?"

"I don't know. It's huge. So huge."

"Really huge," he agreed.

"But I mean, it's the greatest gift I could give them," she went on.

"I think we should hear from the others," Joey said nervously, heading to Monica's where everyone was hanging out. Phoebe followed.

"Hey," Monica said. "What's up?"

"Frank and Alice want me to be their surrogate and have their babies," Phoebe said happily. Ross dropped his toast. Rachel covered up her gasp with a cough. Monica stared, and Chandler's eye brows disappeared into his hairline. Emily was not there as she had returned to England for a week.

"And no, she doesn't have to sleep with Frank to do it," Joey added, feeling that needed to be clarified. Ross just stared at him.

"Wow, honey, that's a big thing to do for someone," Rachel said finally.

"Yea. Not to mention that you'll be pregnant," Monica chimed in.

"I know," Phoebe said cheerily.

"You'll put your body through so much and for someone else," Ross finished. "Like morning sickness and labor."

"What's your point?" Phoebe asked.

"The stuff I just said," Ross answered.

"You guys were more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture," Phoebe complained.

"We will support you," Joey said for everyone. "We just want you to think it through first."

"Yea. Maybe talk to your mom," Monica suggested.

"My mom didn't have a baby. Oh, but my birth mom did!" Phoebe exclaimed, jumping up. "I'll go talk to her!" She went running out the door. Chandler sidled up to Joey.

"Are you okay with this?" he asked quietly.

"What? Yea, totally. I think it's a nice thing she's doing," Joey nodded.

"There will be a point where she's so pregnant she won't want to...you know," Chandler gestured.

"Really?"

"Well, I don't know cos I'm not a woman, but being around a pregnant woman might be hard. I hear those hormones go all over the place," Chandler grimaced.

"Yea, but I can take it," Joey said. "It's Phoebs."

"You're a good man, Joe," Chandler said, patting his shoulder. Joey just grinned.

 **Later-Monica's Apartment**

"Okay," Chandler said, coming into the apartment. Monica and Rachel turned to face him. "I know you're gonna go ahead and laugh, but I need help. I had sex with Kathy for the first time, and, well..."

"Was it bad?" Rachel asked.

"It was fine, but I don't think it shattered her world," Chandler said dejectedly.

"Well, it was your first time together. It's not always earth shattering," Monica said helpfully. She wasn't sure why he was talking to her about this. She hadn't really thought about sex much in the past eleven weeks or so.

"You gotta help me. I swear she stifled a yawn. I gotta do better or she might leave me," Chandler begged. Rachel looked over at Monica, who decided to help him.

"All right," she said, pulling out a pad of paper. "I'm going to show you something that a lot of guys don't know..."

 **Joey & Ross**

"What is the big deal with sitting next to me at lunch, huh?" Joey asked.

"I just...I sit with the other guys," Ross answered.

"But we're friends!"

"Yes, but..."

"But what?"

"I dunno," Ross sighed. Why did he sit with the doctors? Was he really that pompous? Joey was making a good point, not that he'd admit it.

"I'm just saying, it hurts our feelings," Joey added. That made Ross feel much worse.

 **Later**

"What an adorable puppy!" Joey said, bending down to play with it.

"Uh huh, yea. I have to give it back," Phoebe said.

"What? Why?"

"Cos that's my Mom's lesson here. I have to give it back to learn how hard it is."

"Oh. That's a fair point," Joey said, agreeing with Phoebe's Mom.

"I can't do it," Phoebe cried. "I can't give him up."

"Well, look at it this way. He makes messes, cries, and wants all your attention. If you give him up, you get to see him and not have to deal with any of that," Joey pointed out.

"Wow, you make a valid point," Phoebe said, getting it. "You know, you're smarter than most people give you credit for."

"I know," Joey beamed.

 **Two Days Later**

"Well?" Joey asked when Phoebe came in.

"I gave up the puppy. There was a bit of an issue trying to get it back from Frank since it was my Mom's dog, but in the end they saw her point," she answered.

"So you're having their babies?"

"I'm having their babies," she smiled. "I'm really doing this."

"Wow, Phoebs," Joey said, pulling her into his lap. "You're amazing."

"I know," she grinned. He went to kiss her when Chandler's bedroom door blew open. Joey shoved her off quickly. Kathy didn't know yet. It didn't seem like she noticed them anyway as she went barreling past over to Monica's.

"What's going on?" Joey asked, seeing Chandler standing in the doorway with a smirk.

"The Earth shattered," he answered before going back inside his room and closing the door. They heard a resounding "Yes!" afterwards.

"What do you suppose that means?" Phoebe asked.

"No idea," Joey shrugged.

"How did it go with Ross at the museum?" she asked.

"We broke the pattern. I also learned a lot about a few of his coworkers," Joey answered, furrowing his brow.

"Good or bad?"

"I'm not sure."

Kathy came running back then, and she practically hurled herself back into Chandler's room.

"Pizza?" Joey asked.

"Ya." They hurried out before all the noise started again.

* * *

 **I have so much more planned. I know I keep saying that, but I'm excited :D**


	24. Chapter 24

**Okay, so it's been a while since I updated. Sorry 'bout that. Life has been incredibly busy. To make up for it, I am posting two long chapters. The reason for that is so you guys have a lot to read to make up for the absence of posting and so you won't predict what's going to happen before I write it. I would greatly appreciate reviews on both chapters if you have the time. Happy reading!**

* * *

 **A Week Later**

All was quiet in Monica's apartment. She opened her eyes. She had been awakened by something, something rather unusual for an apartment building. Listening hard, she decided it was nothing and closed her eyes again.

ErrrrEHEREHERRRRR!

She sat up boltright.

"Oh my God!" Emily's voice sounded through the wall. Monica cringed. Emily had come in late from her flight from England. She would have barely gotten to sleep. She heard Emily get up and march out of her room. Monica flung the covers back and hurried out to join her. Emily whipped open their door and took two steps over to Joey and Chandler's door.

"GET UP!" she screeched. "Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up!"

Chandler pulled the door open, his hair all disheveled.

"What the hell is that noise?" Emily demanded.

"You," Chandler said, gesturing.

"It's the chick," Joey said sleepily behind him. "She's going through some changes."

"Changes? What changes?" Monica asked, confused.

"The vet thinks she's a rooster," Chandler said, the bird crowing behind him again. "We're getting a second opinion." Emily stood there fuming until Monica tugged on her arm.

"Not much we can do about it right now," Monica said, trying to get her back inside.

"I can wring it's neck is what I can do," Emily snapped. She reluctantly allowed Monica to lead her back to her room. "Who the hell keeps a rooster in an apartment building?!"

"Chandler and Joey," Monica replied, smiling a little. She was trying not to think about how cute Chandler looked with bed head. She found herself thinking these random thoughts lately. Sometimes she had to stop herself from running her fingers through his hair whenever she passed. It was all so weird. She still missed Richard, and she knew she had loved him, but Chandler had been there for her so much afterwards that it made her realize how good of a person he was too. She remembered his confession of love on his computer and blushed. Perhaps that was still in there within him somewhere? She was definitely thinking about it.

"Well, I can't keep being kept up all night like this," Emily complained, jolting her back to the moment. "I'll never be functional at work."

"I'll talk to them," Monica promised. "Try to get some more sleep." Emily shut her door firmly while Monica stood in her living room, unsure of what to do next.

 **Later**

Monica returned to her apartment with the groceries to find Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe in her kitchen with Emily making pancakes. Joey was hovering as usual, and Chandler was lounging against the back of the couch, watching. He smiled at Monica when she came inside, and her stomach did an odd tumble. Clearing her throat, she set down her bags.

"You're shopping early," Ross noted.

"We were up early thanks to someone's dumb ass rooster," Emily commented, slapping down pancakes onto a plate and handing it roughly to Joey. He didn't notice her annoyance. He didn't notice anything once food was in front of him. He sat next to Phoebe and tucked in heartily.

"You really shouldn't have those birds in the apartment," Phoebe told them. "It's not healthy."

"No, especially when we have a master chef and someone who knows how to wring a chicken's neck living across the hall," Emily said, looking directly at them.

"You wouldn't!" Joey said, horrified.

"She's bluffing," Chandler told him, narrowing his eyes.

"Am I?" Emily challenged. She made a wringing gesture, making him jump back, scared.

"Okay, it's time to go get Frank and Alice's embryos stuffed into me," Phoebe said, getting up. She resisted the urge to kiss Joey goodbye. She patted his shoulder instead. Monica observed this as well as the look on Chandler's face when she did so. It was intriguing. She made a mental note to ask him later, if she could even be alone with him. That was difficult to do lately. Her thoughts would go rampant.

"How will they know you're ready?" Ross asked.

"They are checking to make sure I'm thick," Phoebe replied. She looked at the others. "So think thick!" She went out, waving as she went.

"Good for her," Emily said, having just been told this news. "Now, I have to get to work. Don't do anything crazy while I'm gone." She grabbed her purse and headed out.

"She's cranky," Joey commented.

"She's tired," Monica corrected.

"How're them old lady underpants treating you?" Joey asked, smirking, as she went over to her laundry basket to start folding.

"Excuse me?" Monica asked, resisting the urge to cover her behind.

"Yea, what?" Ross asked, confused.

"It's laundry day, and that means she's wearing her old lady underpants," Joey explained. "Simple."

"Yea. We have always known you and Rachel better," Chandler chimed in. "Like for instance, Rachel is wearing baggier pants. Could it be around that time of the month?"

"Chandler!" Rachel cried, blushing.

"He's right," Ross admitted. He earned a smack in return.

"You so do not know us better," Monica argued.

"Prove it," Joey urged. Rachel looked to Monica for help.

"I know!" Chandler exclaimed. "Ross, look in that grocery bag. I bet you there's a half eaten box of cookies in there." Ross reached in and pulled out a box of half eaten cookies, grinning. Monica felt embarrassed. Those cookies helped to distract her from thinking about Chandler for a little while.

"Dude," Ross said. "You're good."

"Ha," Chandler scoffed. "How many more items?"

"Five," Ross answered, counting.

"I bet you we can name all five," Chandler said smugly. "For ten bucks."

"How many guesses?" Rachel asked.

"Six," Joey suggested.

"Deal," Monica said. She and Rachel sat back while Joey and Chandler rubbed their hands together and got ready to guess.

"Apples," Chandler started. Ross pulled out a bag.

"Yogurt, tortilla chips," Joey added. Ross pulled them out as well.

"Orange juice," Chandler said.

"Nope! No orange juice!" Monica said gleefully. "Ha! We win!"

"They still have another guess, Mon," Ross told her. She deflated a little. Rachel patted her arm.

"We won that one," she smiled.

"Oh!" Chandler said, whispering into Joey's ear. He looked at Monica directly.

"Nope, not for another two weeks," he said, smirking. She gaped. He knew her cycle? Super creepy! Then why did she feel a little turned on that he knew her so intimately? Oh, the confusion.

"I got it!" Chandler cried. "Scotch..." he twirled his hand "...tape."

"Wow," Ross said, pulling it out. "How did you know?"

"We used all of it last night making scary faces," Chandler replied as if that was the most normal answer ever. Monica crossed her arms. She was ultra annoyed right now.

"Cough it up," Chandler said. "Ten bucks! Pay the piper. Tip the waiter. Gimme it." He held out his hand, wiggling his fingers. Monica sighed and slapped it down onto his hand.

"That doesn't mean you know us better," Monica said. "That was just groceries. I want a rematch."

"Yea, with real, personal questions," Rachel threw in.

"Winner gets a hundred bucks," Monica said, looking at Chandler. He gulped.

"Are you serious?" Joey asked, his eyes bulging.

"Are ya scared?" she challenged.

"No," Joey denied. His voice said otherwise. "Who's gonna make up the questions?"

"Ross'll do it," Monica answered.

"Oh sure, Ross will do it," Ross said. "It's not like I have a job, a wife and kid, or a life of my own."

"Ross," Rachel chastised.

"Fine, we'll get Phoebe to do it," Monica said.

"No, no, I wanna play," Ross told her, his voice like a small boy's. She made a face at him. He could be so childish sometimes.

 **Phoebe**

She felt very nervous. This was Frank and Alice's only shot at having a baby. Talk about pressure. She stared at the embryos in the dish and wondered who they would become.

"All right, you guys," she said quietly. "You gotta take in there. We gotta give your parents some kids. Please do that for them. They deserve it." They didn't answer, but she believed they had heard her anyway.

"Ready?" the doctor asked, coming in.

"Hit me," Phoebe answered, leaning back. She closed her eyes. She tried not to worry about it.

 **Monica's Apartment**

Monica could feel her heart pounding. This was the most fun she'd had since...well, in a long time. She had gotten carried away and bet the apartment if she lost. If they won, the boys would get rid of the birds. Rachel had screwed up an easy question earlier, which frustrated her. She had to win. Emily would kill her if they had to move.

"Okay, here we go," Ross said. Rachel was shaking beside her.

"Go," she nodded.

"What is the Joey special?"

"Two pizzas!" Monica shouted. Rachel pumped her fist. It was an easy one.

"Which of Joey's sisters did Chandler make out with?"

"Mary Therese!" Rachel cried.

"Nope. Mary Angela," Ross corrected.

"Damn it," she muttered. "There's too many of them!"

"Focus, Rachel!" Monica shouted. She was anxious now. That was two Rachel had cost her.

"Joey had an imaginary friend. His name was..."

"Maurice!"

"Occupation?"

"Space cowboy!" Rachel yelped. Joey bounced up and down on the couch, grinning.

"What is Chandler's job?" Ross asked. Both Monica and Rachel froze.

"Oh...oh my God," Monica stuttered.

"Ten seconds. You need this to win the game," Ross told her.

"Um, something with numbers?" Rachel said, wringing her hands.

"And processing," Monica added.

"He has a briefcase."

"Something to do with transponding," Monica started.

"He's a transpondster!" Rachel shouted, pointing.

"That's not even a word!" Monica practically shrieked at her.

Ross stops the clock, giving them a sad look.

"NOOOO!" Monica screamed.

"YEEAAH!" Chandler and Joey shouted, bumping their chests against each other. Monica dropped her head into her hands. Emily was going to be so upset with her.

 **Later**

"What's going on?" Emily asked, coming back from work and seeing Phoebe sitting upside down in the chair and Monica packing their stuff up.

"Well, um, we sorta lost the apartment," Monica said sheepishly.

"How?" Emily asked. Chandler and Joey rode in on their white dog on wheels just then. She stared.

"I can't believe you're making Monica do this," Rachel said, shaking her head.

"Hey, don't play the game if you can't handle losing," Chandler snorted. "You would have made us get rid of the birds."

"Nooo," Monica lied.

"I'm so lost," Emily said, looking at her. "What happened when I was gone?"

"We played a trivia game to see who knew who better, and I got carried away, bet the apartment, and then lost," Monica explained. "Not my proudest moment."

Emily looked at her for a second before bursting out into laughter. Monica felt relieved.

"Well, I'm sorry I missed all the excitement," Emily said. "How can I help?" Monica handed her a box. She guessed she hadn't given Emily more credit for possibly being more laid back about this whole thing.

 **A Few Hours Later**

"I'm pregnant!" Phoebe shrieked, running out of the bathroom. Everyone turned and faced her.

"YAY!" Alice yelled. Frank hollered in excitement.

"Congratulations," Emily beamed at them. They all pulled Phoebe into a group hug.

"Oh, I don't think this is good for the baby," Phoebe said. They all pulled back and then hugged each other without her. Phoebe caught Joey's eye, and she knew he was happy for her. She hoped it wouldn't change anything.

 **A Few Weeks Later**

"What are you doing?" Emily asked. Monica turned to look at her.

"I'm trying to figure out what this switch is for," she replied. Emily furrowed her brow.

"I don't think it does anything," she noted.

"It doesn't," Joey chimed in. He was chowing down on the breakfast Monica had made. They had been living there for a while now, and despite the odd gross thing they had found, it wasn't the end of the world. Monica had done a deep clean and made it nicer, which made her feel better. She still missed her old room, though.

"Didn't that drive you nuts knowing you had a switch that did nothing?" Monica asked Joey.

"I know what it did," he argued. "Nothing."

"It shouldn't be there if it doesn't do anything," Monica said, getting frustrated. "How can you not care?"

"Like this," Joey shrugged.

"Hello," Chandler said, coming in behind Rachel. Kathy was holding his hand. Monica felt one of those twinges she had started getting a couple of weeks ago.

"Guess what we got Chandler to do?" Kathy bragged. She held up his finely manicured hands for everyone to see.

"He even blew on his fingers!" Rachel laughed.

"You promised!" Chandler cried.

"Sorry," Rachel said, not sorry at all.

"Well, it's been a lovely morning, but I'm off to work," Kathy said, giving him a kiss before leaving. Monica looked away.

"How are things between you two since...?" Emily trailed off. Two weeks ago, Chandler had believed that Kathy was cheating on him. In the end, it had been a whole misunderstanding and confusion mostly caused by Joey.

"They're better," Chandler said. "She knows I'm a bonehead."

"Right," Emily nodded. She looked at Monica carefully. She also knew her friend was developing feelings again for Chandler, and she didn't know how to help.

"Did you flush?" Monica demanded when Ross came out of the bathroom.

"Y-yea," he said, taken aback.

"Okay, then who is not flushing when they're over here?" Monica asked, glaring. Joey looked away, trying to act casual.

"Hey, you guys," Phoebe said, entering.

"Hi," Joey said. "How is the baby?"

"Good. I can't wait until it starts moving," Phoebe smiled. Emily noticed a look between them, and she noticed Chandler trying not to watch them. She wondered if it had something to do with how late Joey got home last night. Emily had heard him sneeze in the hallway as she got a drink of water around two a.m.

"Off to work," Rachel sighed. "I wish it wasn't so painful. I mean, sorting coat hangers? Helping old ladies put on thongs? I'm going out of my mind! There is this one guy who comes in, Joshua. He is getting an entire wardrobe. If I wasn't married, I'd probably be trying to date him."

"But you are," Ross reminded her, looking slightly alarmed.

"I know, sweetie," Rachel teased, rubbing his arm. "Very happily married." He gave her a kiss.

"We'll see you later," he said as they walked out together.

"I sometimes can't believe they are married," Chandler said. He reached into the fridge and grabbed the juice jug, pouring himself a glass.

"I know," Monica agreed. Then she went to her bedroom to change.

"Are you two sleeping together?" Emily asked Joey and Phoebe. Chandler spewed his juice everywhere.

"W-w-what?" Joey asked, frightened. "N-n-no."

"Oh God no," Phoebe denied.

"You need to work on your lies a bit better," Emily told them. "That and Chandler looks like he's going to have a stroke."

"Am not," Chandler argued. He was yanking at his collar.

"Okay, okay," Phoebe hissed, pulling Emily closer. "But you can't tell anyone, got it?"

"I swear," Emily promised.

"Come on," Phoebe said to Joey. Once they were gone, Chandler jumped for joy.

"I'm so glad I'm not the only one anymore," he said, excited.

"How long has this been going on?"

"Since before Ross and Rachel's wedding."

"That long?! Wow. You poor thing," Emily empathized.

"What's going on?" Monica asked, returning. In fact, she had heard everything. She felt a little hurt that Phoebe didn't trust her enough to tell her, but it made sense now. If Phoebe didn't want her to know, then she would pretend not to know. For now.

"Chandler was just saying how long it's been since he's slept with Kathy," Emily said smoothly. "Three weeks? That's torture." Chandler shot her a dirty look, but he had to admit, she was good.

"Ouch," Monica laughed. Even though she knew it was a lie, she felt smug for some reason. If she was with him, she wouldn't hold out for three weeks on him. This thought took her by surprise again. Why was she thinking like this about him? She avoided looking at him, suddenly embarrassed.

"If you'll excuse me," Chandler said. "It seems I have some ass kissing to do with my girlfriend." He set down his glass and stalked out. Emily and Monica burst out laughing as soon as he was gone.

 **A Week Later**

"Buh bye," Kathy said, rubbing noses with Chandler before leaving. Everyone tried not to stare, especially Monica.

"You guys are really getting along, huh?" Ross asked.

"Yea. We are. Actually, really well," Chandler answered, sitting down.

"Aren't you ready to have a freak out yet?" Rachel questioned. Chandler made a face at her.

"The baby wants meat!" Phoebe declared, coming into the apartment. Joey looked up from his sandwich.

"What?" he asked.

"The baby wants me to eat meat. I can't do it, but everything else makes me nauseous," Phoebe whimpered. She eyed Joey's sandwich.

"You have a lovely glow about you," Joey tried.

"That's from throwing up all day," Phoebe complained. She watched him add more meat to the pile that was on his bread.

"So, do you think she's the one?" Ross asked Chandler, getting back to Kathy. Monica rolled her eyes. Rachel noticed.

"Uh, I dunno," Chandler said, scratching his head.

"He totally knows," Phoebe commented, still watching Joey. When he was done and about to eat it, she launched onto the other end of it.

"Whoa!" he yelped. "What are you doing?"

"The baby needs meat," Phoebe replied. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I can make you your own," he offered.

"No. It's so bad. I mean, I'll be killing so many cows," Phoebe said, tearing up.

"How about if I cut back?" Joey asked. "Then you could eat my share. That way it's even."

"You'd do that for me?" she questioned, her eyes shining. He smiled.

"Of course," he replied. "I'd do anything for you." She refrained from kissing him since everyone was watching.

"All right, all right," Chandler caved, changing the subject to get the attention off of them and their obvious romantic tension. "Yes, I think she's the one."

"Dude!" Ross cheered. Monica felt sick inside, which was the theme of her reactions towards Chandler and Kathy's relationship the past week or so. How could Kathy be the one for him? Sure, they got along, but she just didn't see that they would get along forever.

"I, uh, have a ring," Chandler admitted. There was a stunned silence in the room. Phoebe stopped chewing.

"What?" Monica asked. She felt her throat tightening. As hard as she did to deny it all week, she felt herself starting to have feelings for Chandler, and finding out he was going to propose to Kathy was like a bat to the head and then the stomach. And then maybe another shot to the head after that.

"Yea," Chandler nodded. He pulled it out to show them. Rachel was on it immediately.

"Oh my God," she gasped, taking it from him.

"Congrats, man," Ross said, clapping his back. "Bing is growing up!"

"I gotta go buy some food," Monica said, getting up and rushing out. Rachel was not far behind her.

"Mon? What's going on?" Rachel asked. Monica stopped on the stairs.

"Nothing," she lied. "I just need food."

"Okay," Rachel said, unsure. Phoebe came out just then.

"Secret meeting?" she asked.

"No. I think Monica is bothered by Chandler proposing to Kathy," Rachel explained.

"Oh, that again," Phoebe nodded.

"What again?"

"Oh...uh..." Phoebe stalled. Damn her mouth sometimes.

"Does Monica like Chandler?" Rachel demanded.

"Nooo."

"Did she like him before?"

"Noooo."

"Phoebe!"

"Okay, so Chandler had the hots for Monica but she was with Richard, and then they broke up, and she found out he had feelings for her, but then he got with Janice, and Monica said she didn't think she had feelings for Chandler in return, so she never pursued it," Phoebe said all at once. Rachel gaped at her.

"Are you serious right now?"

"Totally."

"What are we going to do?"

"Nothing," Phoebe said emphatically. "Because Chandler loves Kathy. We are not going to ruin that for him."

"But..."

"No!"

"Okay, okay," Rachel huffed, crossing her arms. She felt very sorry for her best friend. What a predicament to be in.

 **Three Weeks Later**

 **Phoebe, Monica, and Emily**

"I have an idea," Emily said, coming into the apartment. "My uncle gave me these, and I think we can use them to get our apartment back." She showed Monica the Knicks tickets. Phoebe looked over her shoulder.

"Whoa," Phoebe said. "Season tickets? Right on the floor? Joey will roll over and show his tummy the second you show him these."

"I think we might actually have a shot," Monica agreed. Emily beamed.

"All right," she said. "Let's go make the trade." She marched over to their old apartment, Monica at her heels. Phoebe followed closely behind.

"Hey," Joey said, seeing them come in. "What's up?"

"We just wanted to come and tell you all about our Knicks tickets," Emily said, waving them in her hand. Joey was immediately transfixed. Chandler looked over at them from his chair, mildly interested.

"Season tickets! Right on the floor!" Joey cried, finally seeing them.

"That's right," Emily nodded. "And you can have them if you give us our apartment back." Joey retracted his outstretched hand, looking at Chandler for guidance.

"No," Chandler shook his head. "No tickets are worth this apartment."

"But," Joey started. "Season tickets!"

"No, Joe. I'm not moving," Chandler said, crossing his arms firmly. Monica wanted to go over there and make him uncross those arms. She blinked, trying to clear the image of her sitting on his lap out of her mind. He still hadn't proposed to Kathy, and it had been three weeks. Perhaps he wasn't going to. Maybe he didn't want to.

"Offer holds until this afternoon," Emily said. "Think about it." She walked back to their apartment, and Monica hovered while Phoebe went to use the washroom.

"You're meaner than I thought," Joey commented.

"Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do," Monica shrugged. When Chandler didn't look at her, she left. He seemed preoccupied with something. Maybe he and Kathy were breaking up!

 **Later**

Emily was sulking. They had gone with the old card game of the highest card gets all, and they had lost, so the boys were currently at the game. Phoebe was watching and getting an idea.

"You know," she said. "There's nothing stopping you guys from moving back in there while they're gone." Monica perked up, as did Emily.

"You're right," Emily gasped. "Why didn't we think of that?"

"No idea, but let's move, move, move!" Monica shouted, leaping into action. They started throwing things into boxes and hauling stuff across the hall. Rachel came and found them dragging one of the boys' chairs through the doorway.

"What's going on?" she asked, peering into Monica's original apartment and finding it a mess. She looked at Joey and Chandler's old apartment and saw it was a mess too.

"We're taking our apartment back," Monica replied, wiping her brow.

"Ooohh I'll help!" Rachel declared. She grabbed a box, and Emily showed her what to pack. Phoebe was lugging all the bedspreads and sheets from the beds over to the boys' apartment.

"You realize they could do this when you two are gone," Rachel commented.

"We know," Monica sighed. "We're thinking of a back up plan."

"You two could kiss for one minute," Phoebe suggested, not looking up. Monica and Rachel stared at her.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Yea!" Phoebe exclaimed. "They'd love it. Guys like that kind of stuff."

"Should of thought of that before all this even happened," Emily said.

"Let's not go there," Monica urged. Emily nodded in agreement. They kept packing and moving as quickly as they could. The game would be over soon.

 **Later Still**

"Totally worth it," Chandler said, walking back into their apartment.

"Yup," Joey nodded. Chandler couldn't stop thinking about it. He was feeling slightly jealous that Monica was making out with Rachel. He'd always wanted to know what kissing Monica would be like. Granted, the two didn't look entirely comfortable doing it, but it still looked nice. He shook his head. What was the matter with him?! He had a dinner date with Kathy, and a very big thing planned.

"Well, I'm off," he said to Joey, who was now sipping a beer and eating pizza in front of Baywatch.

"Later," Joey grunted. Chandler felt nervous but also excited. It was going to be a night to remember.

 **Ross & Rachel **

"You kissed my sister?" Ross asked, incredulous.

"To get her apartment back," Rachel shrugged. "It was nothing. Also, it was weird."

"Okay, good," Ross said, "I think I would start questioning myself if two of my wives turned gay."

"Oh, Ross," Rachel laughed. "I am absolutely, positively, not gay."

"Oh yea? Prove it," he challenged. She grabbed him and pushed him down onto the couch.

"You're on," she grinned. He pulled her down and kissed her hard. So far, she was proving it very well.

 **Chandler**

He had waited three weeks after showing his friends the ring. Three weeks to come up with a perfect way to propose to his girlfriend. Three weeks to wonder why Monica seemed upset at his decision. He shoved it out of his mind. Monica was not into him like that. And he loved Kathy. Simple as that. Now, he was sitting across from Kathy in a fancy restaurant, and he was about to get on one knee. He felt shaky, but he knew he wanted to do this. It felt right.

"Hey, Kathy?" he asked, stopping her mid-sentence.

"Yea?" she said, looking concerned. "Are you all right? You're sweating."

"I'm more than all right," he said, smiling slowly. He got off his chair and bent on one knee. Kathy covered her face with her hands. "I love you. I know we haven't been dating long, but this just feels right. I would be so happy if you would be my wife."

"Oh, Chandler," she said, her eyes wet. "Of course. Yes!" She fell down to her knees and hugged him tightly. Then he slipped the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly. Everyone around them clapped and whistled. He blushed. He had done it! Why then, was he imagining Monica standing in front of him instead of Kathy?

 **Monica**

"We're engaged!" Kathy shouted as they burst through the door. Monica struggled to keep a hold of the dish she was drying. Emily choked on her water. Joey and Phoebe stared at them from their card game. Ross and Rachel were not there.

"C-congratulations," Monica stuttered. Her hands were shaking. Even though she knew Chandler had that ring, she honestly didn't think he'd go through with it since three weeks had gone by. Kathy was beaming, so happy.

"We're gonna get married in London," Chandler went on. "In a month."

"A month?!" Phoebe spluttered.

"Why London?" Emily asked, curious.

"I have family there," Kathy answered. "And it's beautiful there. I was wondering if you knew of any places that would host a perfect wedding?"

"Uh..." Emily trailed off, looking at Monica. Helping Kathy seemed like a betrayal to their friendship. Monica conveyed with her eyes that it was okay. "I...I suppose I know of some."

"Great! I'm so excited!" Kathy squealed. She kissed Chandler heartily. "I gotta call my mom. I'll see you in a few minutes." She squeezed his butt energetically. Monica bit back a snort.

"Well, I should do...something," Chandler said, gesturing back to his apartment. Monica's stomach clenched. Engagement sex most likely. She felt nauseous.

"Are you all right?" Emily asked Monica.

"Why would I not be all right?" Monica questioned, her voice a little higher pitched than usual. Joey gave her a concerned look.

"Could you get me some ice cream?" Phoebe asked Joey suddenly. He turned to look at her, confused as to why she would interrupt.

"Now?" he asked.

"Yes. Now. Right now. The babies need it," Phoebe added.

"But," Joey started.

"Go! Go, go, go!" Phoebe shouted. Joey leaped to his feet.

"I'm on it," he said, charging out the door. It sure came in handy, Joey being willing to do anything for the babies. Once he was gone, she turned to face Monica, who was now crying.

"I knew it," Emily sighed, moving in to hug her. "What can we do?"

"Nothing," Monica choked. "He loves her. They're getting married. I'm happy for him."

"Save your lies," Phoebe said. "They suck anyway. Mon, why didn't you tell him?"

"Because I thought it was just a rebound thing from Richard dying," Monica confessed. "I didn't think it was serious. Now, now I know it's definitely serious."

"You can't let him marry her," Emily said immediately. "Not without him knowing."

"I can't," Monica said sadly. "It would make him so conflicted, and the last thing I want to do is hurt him."

"You're being ridiculous," Phoebe pointed out.

"Maybe so, but at least I'm not hiding my relationship," Monica said, glaring at her.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Phoebe stuttered.

"Oh, please. You and Joey look at each other so much it's almost painful, and the way you look at each other it's like you can't wait to rip each other's clothes off. I'm not stupid," Monica added.

"I'm actually kind of relieved," Phoebe said, sighing. "It's been hard keeping this a secret."

"So, are you going to tell everyone else then?" Emily asked.

"Oh, no, not yet," Phoebe shook her head.

"Phoebe!"

"Sorry! I just don't want Joey to freak out. He doesn't even know that you two know. He just thinks Chandler knows. I feel like more people knowing will make him rethink this whole thing."

"Really?" Monica asked. She didn't picture Joey as being like that.

"I just don't want to jinx it," Phoebe begged.

"Okay. It stays between us," Monica said, patting Phoebe's arm reassuringly.

"So what are you going to do about Chandler?" Emily asked.

"Nothing. I will watch him get married and be happy. That's what best friends do," Monica answered. She ignored their exasperated looks. She was not going to ruin Chandler's happiness. She was pretty sure he had moved on from her long ago anyway.

* * *

 **Maybe 6 months after Richard's death is too soon for Monica to start having feelings for Chandler, but I'm not going to dwell on that. Don't forget she kind of had feelings for Chandler before she got with Richard. Anyway, I'm going to stop justifying my story now lol. Again, no predictions please! Just keep on reading and you'll have your answers. Cheers!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Don't forget to read chapter 24 first! I posted two chapters at the same time :)**

* * *

 **A Week Later**

Monica and Rachel were in the coffee shop, and Monica was trying not to think about Chandler. He and Kathy had been running around getting things ready for the wedding, and she was doing her best to not think about how she would be doing things so much more different and better than Kathy was. Almost as if she was conjured, there was Kathy standing right in front of her. Monica blinked.

"Can I ask you something?" Kathy started.

"Um, me?" Monica asked, looking around.

"Yea."

"Oh. Okay. Shoot."

"I would love it if you could be my maid of honor," Kathy said to Monica, the words tumbling over each other. Rachel coughed.

"What?" Monica asked, not having heard her correctly. In fact, her ears had a roaring sound in them.

"I don't have many friends, and I don't have any sisters. You're the closest thing to a best friend I've ever had," Kathy said. "I would love for you to be my maid of honor. And Rachel, I'd love you to be a bridesmaid."

"Uh...uh...I don't know what to say," Monica said. NO! her mind screamed. NO, NO, NO, NO! "I...sure. I'll do it."

"I guess I'm in too," Rachel said, not sure what her friend was doing. Was she out of her mind?!

"Great! Oh, I'm so happy!" Kathy exclaimed, hugging them together tightly. "Now that you're on board, can you come with me to get my dress? I have an appointment this afternoon."

"I guess that's what we do," Monica said. Had she really said yes? What was she thinking? Kathy gave them the address.

"I'll see you there," she said. "Now, I've gotta go deal with the cake."

"Okay," Rachel said absently. Once she was gone, she rounded on Monica. "What is the matter with you?!"

"I don't know!" Monica shouted. "It just...flew out of my mouth."

"You're insane. You realize you are going to stand up there and watch Chandler get married to someone else?" Rachel demanded.

"I know! I know," Monica said, holding up her hands. "I'm so stupid..."

"No, you were caught off guard," Rachel corrected.

"Well, it's too late to go back now," Monica sighed. "I have to do it."

"You are the bravest person I know," Rachel said, admiringly.

"Not brave," Monica shook her head. "Just stupid."

"Oh, honey," Rachel said, rubbing her friend's shoulder. "You are definitely not stupid. You just made a stupid decision. That's all."

"What am I going to do?" Monica asked, feeling helpless.

"I have no idea, sweetie," Rachel sighed. This was going to be a long haul.

"I'm telling you, you have a problem," Chandler said, walking into the coffee house behind Joey.

"It's nothing," Joey dismissed.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked, noticing that Monica was visibly affected by the sight of Chandler.

"Joey snores all night. All night long!" Chandler exclaimed.

"It's just a little snoring," Joey shrugged, sitting down. Chandler fell down beside Monica, jostling her.

"Just a little snoring?!" he cried. "You're bringing down pieces of my roof onto my head! You are literally snoring so loud that you're bringing down the house." Joey laughed.

"Well, maybe you should go to a sleep clinic," Rachel suggested.

"Yes!" Chandler shouted, knocking Monica over as he jumped up. "A sleep clinic! That's a great idea!"

"I'm not going to a sleep clinic," Joey argued, crossing his arms. Neither guy noticed Monica touching her arm absently where Chandler had brushed against her. Rachel did.

"You know, when Ross snores, I just roll him over," she said.

"Next time, I'm rolling ya over!" Chandler said to Joey fiercely.

"Fine," Joey shrugged again.

"So, Chandler," Rachel said. "Kathy asked Monica to be her maid of honor, and I'm her bridesmaid."

"W-what?" Chandler asked, staring at them both.

"Yea," Rachel went on, looking at her nails. "We're helping her buy a dress this afternoon."

"Wow," Chandler commented. He looked at Monica then. "I never thought she'd ask you to do that."

"Me either," Monica agreed, finally speaking.

"Are you okay with that?" he asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Monica challenged. Chandler went red in the face.

"No reason," he shook his head. Monica stood then.

"Come on, Rach," she said. "We should probably see if Kathy needs anymore help."

"Okay," Rachel agreed, getting up as well. She followed Monica outside. "You sure you're okay?"

"Just swell," Monica answered. She marched forward. She'd be the best damn maid of honor anybody will have ever seen, and perhaps while she was at it, the groom would notice that she was the better person to be with than Kathy.

 **Later**

Monica was doing dishes and thinking about earlier that afternoon. Phoebe had tagged along for support once she had heard what was happening, and the three of them watched Kathy simply radiate beauty in her wedding dress. Monica had to stop the urge to rip it off her. Then, on the way home:

"Monica, can you keep this at your place?" Kathy had asked. Monica had froze.

"Uh, why?"

"I just don't want Chandler to see it at my place," Kathy had answered. "I know he won't be looking in your bedroom." She had laughed then. Monica had swelled with hot anger.

"She'd love to," Rachel had answered for her, seeing that her friend was about to explode.

"Great!" Kathy had exclaimed. "Well, I have to meet my mom, so I'll see you guys later. I already have your dresses picked out. You just have to stop by tomorrow to have them fitted."

"Oh, great," Rachel had nodded. Kathy had waved and bounced off.

"Bitch," Phoebe had commented.

"Is she trying to torture me?" Monica had asked, feeling sick about having that gorgeous dress hanging in her bedroom.

"I don't think she has a clue, sweetie," Rachel had sighed as they approached their apartment building. "Come on. Let's go up."

Now, Monica was staring at the dress, hanging there mocking her. She got an idea. She took it off the hanger and hurried to her room.

"Are you sure this is going to make her feel better?" Phoebe asked Rachel. They were standing in the hallway wearing wedding dresses. Rachel had a third in her hand for Monica.

"I hope so," Rachel winced. She knocked hard.

"Just a second!" Monica shouted.

"No! Let us in now!" Rachel shouted back. The door whipped open, and there stood Monica in Kathy's dress. Phoebe started laughing. Rachel hauled her inside and Monica shut the door.

"What are you doing?" Rachel asked, horrified.

"What are you two doing?" Monica demanded. Then they all started laughing.

"I love this dress," Phoebe gushed, playing with the material of her dress. She was imagining Joey taking it off her.

"I just wanted an excuse to put mine back on," Rachel admitted.

"I wanted to know what it would feel like to be marrying Chandler," Monica confessed.

"And?" Rachel asked.

"It feels pretty amazing," Monica said, blushing. "I guess I should take it off."

"Or..." Rachel trailed off. She pulled out a bouquet. "Who wants to be the next one to get married?" Phoebe and Monica squealed with delight.

 **Chandler-Later Still**

They had come back from the sleep clinic, and now Joey had to wear a mouth guard. Chandler felt somewhat relieved. He also commended silently to himself the fact that Joey did not hit on the hot girl sitting beside him all afternoon. Maybe he really was becoming a committed person. Joey opened a beer and sat down while Chandler heard tittering across the hall.

"What do you suppose they're up to over there?" he asked Joey.

"I dunno. Girl stuff," Joey shrugged. He was meeting Phoebe soon at her apartment, and he was feeling scared. Ever since Phoebe started to show, he was afraid of hurting the babies.

"Hey, Chandler," Joey started. "Do you think you can hurt a baby by having sex?" He was worrying about it a lot. He had been avoiding Phoebe the past few weeks for fear of hurting them, but she was insistent that he come over that night.

"I...I don't think so," Chandler shook his head. Everyone was still in shock that Phoebe was carrying triplets. He remembered her freaking out after she had found out:

"What am I going to do?!" she had cried. "I only mentally prepared for shooting one baby out of my crotch not three!"

"It'll be all right," Chandler had assured her.

"Easy for you to say. You're among the jerks that put these things inside of us with no regard to the outcome," Phoebe had snapped.

Now, Chandler was thinking about Joey's question. Was it possible? Nah.

"I think you're worrying over nothing," he told Joey. The laughter across the hall was louder now. He had to find out what was going on. He left Joey to his thoughts and wandered over.

"What's so funny over here?" he asked, stopping right in his tracks. Three women in wedding dresses stared back at him. "W-what are you doing?"

"It was so cool seeing Kathy try on dresses today that we wanted to do it too," Rachel said quickly. "We rented three dresses and are having a party. You cool with that?"

"Um...yea," Chandler answered. He was staring at Monica. She looked absolutely stunning. She blushed.

"You must think we're insane," she said.

"No. I think...I think it's fun," he answered. He squeezed the door handle hard, stopping all thoughts of seeing Monica in front of him on his wedding day instead of Kathy. What the hell was wrong with him?!

"Well, it's bad luck to see the bride," Phoebe said, noticing Monica and Chandler's facial expressions. "So get out."

"Yea, out!" Rachel chimed in, pushing Chandler out the door. Once it was shut, Chandler felt sad. He didn't know if he'd ever get the chance to see Monica like that again, and if he did, she'd be marrying someone else. It kind of hurt.

 **Joey & Phoebe-After**

"You really like it?" Phoebe asked as Joey kissed her. He had loved the dress. She had kept it on just for him. Now, in her apartment, they were going at it. The only thing was, Joey was beginning to act strange once they were on the bed.

"I love it," he murmured into her ear. He propped himself up above her, his feet braced on the end of the bed so that he was hovering over her.

"What are you doing?" Phoebe asked, looking at him. He blushed.

"I don't want to hurt the babies," he answered, gesturing. Joey felt that if he was on top, he might squish them. He didn't want to do that to Frank and Alice's babies, so he had been avoiding sex altogether the past few weeks, which was annoying Phoebe.

"Joey," Phoebe laughed. "You can't possibly hurt them."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Is that why you've been avoiding me?"

"Um...yea," Joey admitted.

"It's okay, Joey. They are perfectly safe inside of me. Now, come on. Momma needs her sugar," Phoebe said, pulling him down.

 **Two Weeks Later**

"Damn," Joey said. "Phoebe is really upset. Did you guys have to do that shower for her?" He was at the coffee house with Monica and Rachel and Emily.

"We thought it would help," Rachel started.

"Then we realized how stupid it was, halfway through it," Monica sighed. "We're sorry."

"Don't tell me, tell her," Joey said, gesturing to Phoebe as she came in. All three women flinched. Phoebe had been particularly crusty the last week, and they were a little afraid of her.

"We're sorry," Emily said as Phoebe sat down.

"It's all right," Phoebe sighed. "I just...it made me realize again that after all this, I don't get to do the mom thing, you know? I knew what I signed up for, but as it's getting closer to the end, I'm feeling sadder."

"Oh, Phoebs," Rachel said, hugging her. "You might not get to do the mom thing, but you get to do the Aunt thing."

"Yea," Monica agreed, chiming in. "You get to be the one who's there for them when they want to run away."

"Or learn about sex," Emily added.

"They are so going to love you," Rachel told Phoebe, who was wiping at her tears now.

"They are going to love me," she agreed. Joey took her hand then and squeezed it. The girls hugged her tightly together.

"You're cool Aunt Phoebe," Monica said to her.

"Thanks, you guys," Phoebe smiled. She truly did have good friends. She looked at Monica, seeing the pain etched there from this whole Chandler/Kathy wedding, and she wished she could make her friend feel better too. The wedding was in a week, and she knew Monica was feeling sadder and sadder. If only those two had talked years ago when Chandler first fell in love with her. Would they be attending their wedding instead? Phoebe thought so. She wondered if Chandler was having doubts like his usual self always did. Perhaps she could enhance them and end the wedding. Her mind whirled. Maybe there was a chance to save the day after all.

 **Later-Ross & Rachel**

"Are you packing already?" Ross asked, watching as Rachel made trips back and forth to the suitcase and her wardrobe.

"I'm excited," Rachel replied, tossing him a look over her shoulder. "Aren't you? This is our second honeymoon!"

"I never thought of it that way," Ross said.

"Well, think about it. Once Chandler and Kathy are married, we can spend a few days alone exploring England," Rachel said, grinning at him.

"Hmmm. I do like that," Ross smiled. Rachel went back to packing, and he watched her. Sometimes he was amazed that she was his wife.

"Oh, Carol called. She's dropping Ben off to say goodbye the night before we leave," Rachel told him.

"Oh good. Hey, what are your thoughts on kids?" Ross asked, sliding that in there. It was something he'd been thinking about for a while now.

"They're cute," Rachel answered absently, not getting his meaning.

"What do you think about more kids with me," Ross said, more clear this time. She stopped, looking up at him.

"I'd consider it," she said slowly.

"Yea?"

"Yea," she nodded. "I mean, I love you. I love Ben. I'd love to have our own child that's ours and not just half yours."

"I'm glad," Ross said, moving towards her and taking her into his arms. She rested her head onto his chest.

"Are you okay with waiting, though?" Rachel asked. "I mean, I'd love to start right away, but I also want to have more time with you before a baby comes and takes up all our attention."

"I'm okay with waiting," Ross agreed. "I just like knowing that one day it will happen."

"It will definitely happen," Rachel nodded. They kissed. "Now, come on! We have a trip to pack for!"

 **Chandler**

He was pacing his bedroom when Phoebe knocked. He went to answer the door, Joey being at work.

"Hey," he said, letting her in. "I got your message. What's up?"

"Are you sure you want to marry Kathy?" Phoebe asked, getting right to the point. Chandler froze.

"W-what do you mean? Of course I want to marry Kathy!" he spluttered.

"You're really sure? Like really, _really_ sure?"

"Yes!"

"You're not still thinking about Monica at all?" Phoebe pressed. His eyes flickered, and her thoughts were confirmed.

"Not at all," he told her. He swallowed. "Monica is the thing of the past. She's still not quite over Richard dying anyway."

"But what if she was?" Phoebe asked.

"I'm marrying Kathy, Phoebe," Chandler said firmly. "That doesn't change."

"All right," Phoebe sighed. "As you wish."

"It is what I wish. I wish it very much," Chandler argued.

"Fine," Phoebe nodded. She turned to leave. "Just make sure you don't have any regrets."

"I have none!" he shouted as the door slammed behind her. He stood there, fiddling with his hands. He definitely didn't have any. Right?

 **A Week Later**

"I wish you were coming," Monica said to Phoebe, who was on the couch. She was going to be looking after the apartment while they were gone. Joey was staying with her.

"I do too. I want to see firsthand how this all blows up," Phoebe laughed. Monica raised her brow.

"What do you mean?"

"It will definitely blow up. It's Chandler! I bet he bolts as soon as he gets off the plane," Phoebe scoffed.

"Give him some credit," Monica admonished her.

"Pfft. I know him. Commitment terrifies him. Kathy is lucky he has hung in this long."

"Well, we'll just see," Monica said, not knowing what else to say. The last week had been hard, and she was positive Chandler was avoiding her. She wondered why. It had been difficult for her to put up with Kathy and do everything for Kathy. And the dresses. Scarlet red and slightly revealing. Was Kathy trying to tease Chandler with Monica? Rachel had told her to just be glad it wasn't pink or puffy, which Monica had to agree with.

"Promise me you will hook up with an Englishman," Phoebe begged. "And then tell me all about it."

"I'll try," Monica laughed. She had promised her friends that she was doing fine, which she wasn't. Her heart felt like it was going to constantly break. Her thoughts were consumed of Chandler. She was starting to have dreams about Chandler that were making her blush like crazy. If only she had just told him that she had found his list on his computer. Maybe they could have had a shot then. Now, it was too late. Chandler had told her repeatedly how much he loved Kathy. It was over. Her chance to tell him she liked him was gone.

"I'm ready!" Rachel shouted, dragging her suitcase in. Ross followed behind. Chandler and Kathy had already gone ahead a few hours earlier. Emily was already there, waiting for them to arrive as they were going to stay with her.

"Well, I guess we'll see you later," Monica said to Phoebe. "Don't have those babies before we get back!"

"Wouldn't dream of it," Phoebe waved dismissively.

"London, baby!" Joey shouted, pumping his fist.

"Dude, you're not even going," Ross pointed out.

"I know. I'm still excited, though," Joey shrugged. He had been a little put out that Chandler had asked Ross to be his best man, but Joey admitted that he really wanted to stay with Phoebe anyway. They could do it wherever they wanted to with no fear of getting caught. It was the perfect situation.

"Goodbye," Monica said, hugging them both.

"Have fun," Joey called after them. Once they were gone, he looked at Phoebe.

"Monica's bed?" she asked.

"Oh yea," he grinned.

 **London-Hours Before the Wedding**

Monica was wandering the huge building, wondering what her path in life was going to be. She was a chef, yes, but she felt there should be more by now. Emily had reassured her that she was still young, that the man of her dreams would still come one day, but Monica didn't feel so sure. It was the morning of the wedding, and Ross and Rachel were helping set up the chairs while Chandler and Emily were finishing with the lights. Monica had to to keep her distance. It was all too much. Kathy had disappeared to use the washroom, and that was what Monica was trying to find. You needed a map for this place to find anything. Finally, she found it, but before she went inside, she heard voices across the hall in a different room. She moved closer, recognizing Kathy's tone. She didn't recognize the man's voice.

"Nick, no," Kathy said.

"Kathy, please," Nick begged. "I love you. I know you love me. We are meant to be together. I should have never let you go back to him."

"Stop," Kathy said firmly. "I love Chandler. We are getting married today. Please leave."

Monica couldn't believe what she was hearing. She pressed her ear harder to the door.

"I can't. Not until you tell me the truth," he argued.

"It doesn't matter now," Kathy said sadly.

"But..."

"Just go. Please."

Monica dove behind the door as the man walked out. She was sure she heard him sniffling. She couldn't believe what had just happened. Kathy had cheated on Chandler? So it hadn't been a misunderstanding at all! Monica wrung her hands. She wasn't sure what to do now.

 **One Hour Before the Wedding**

Monica paced. She was in her dress. Rachel was finishing her make up. Ross was across the hall with Chandler getting ready with Kathy's brother, Kirk. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to tell Chandler, but she also didn't want to ruin his wedding day. So far, they hadn't been alone together to talk, and Monica felt it would be dangerous to anyway. She went over Kathy's words. She had been adamant about her love for Chandler. She could have easily walked off with Nick, but she didn't. Oh, the torment. In the end, she went over and banged on the door.

"Yea?" Chandler asked, poking his head out.

"I need to talk to you," Monica replied.

"All right," he agreed, coming out. They stood in the hall. "What's up?"

"I overheard something," Monica started.

"Hey, Chandler," Kirk said, opening the door. "Photo shoot. Come on."

"In a second," Chandler replied. He turned back to Monica. "What did you overhear?"

"Chandler!" Nora shouted, coming towards them. "Darling!" She embraced her son fully. Chandler winced at the tightness of the hug. He couldn't breathe.

"Mom! Monica is trying to say something," Chandler pointed out. Oh God, Monica thought. Not in front of Nora. They both looked at her expectantly.

"I overheard them say that Kathy looks like an angel," Monica said instead. "I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, Mon," Chandler smiled. Nora beamed.

"See! We didn't screw you up that bad," she sighed. Monica slipped away. She berated herself for chickening out. She was running out of time. She went back into her room to find Kathy tearing up.

"Are you okay?" Monica asked. She wondered if Kathy was changing her mind.

"Oh, yes. I'm just so happy. Monica, Chandler is the best thing that's ever happened to me," Kathy sniffed. "And my ex, Nick, is trying to ruin my wedding day, and I'm so mad at him for showing up here."

"Your...ex?" Monica asked, incredulous. So Kathy hadn't cheated?

"Yea. It was a stupid fling before I met Chandler, and he thinks we're soulmates," Kathy scoffed. "Anyway, I can't believe this is it. I'm tingling all over!"

"You'll do great," Monica said absently. So she had misheard them. Kathy hadn't cheated. Thank God she hadn't told Chandler. Disaster averted. Except her own heart still ached. Kathy's mother stuck her head in the door then

"Showtime!" she called.

 **The Wedding**

Monica was standing beside Kathy, watching Chandler. He looked so happy. He was actually glowing. Monica wanted to cry. She wanted to make him glow like that. The ceremony was going well so far, but Monica noticed that Kathy kept looking into the crowd. Monica followed her gaze and saw Nick sitting beside Emily. Monica felt anxious suddenly. She had also noticed Chandler's reaction to seeing the dress on Kathy, and Monica remembered he had seen it on herself all those weeks ago. Did he remember? She barely listened to the minister until it came to the part with the vows. Her heart clenched. This was it.

"Repeat after me," the minister was saying. "I, Kathy, take thee Chandler."

"I, Kathy, take thee Nick," Kathy said solemnly. The room froze. Then she gasped, realizing what she just did. Chandler stared. Nick stood up from his seat.

"I knew it!" he shouted. Everyone gasped. Kathy shook her head hard.

"No," she said. "No, no, no, no..."

"Kathy," Chandler said, hurt all over his face. "What...?"

"It's nothing," Kathy tried. "A slip of the tongue. I didn't mean it...It doesn't mean anything. It was one time."

"One time?" Chandler asked, confused.

"More like three times, baby," Nick threw in. He was obviously thrilled at how things were going down. Emily tried to yank him down, but he held fast.

"Wait, you slept with him?" Chandler asked, glaring at Nick. Kathy hung her head.

"Oh my God," Rachel muttered behind Monica, gripping Monica's hand tightly. Monica couldn't believe her ears. So Kathy had lied to her. Nick wasn't an ex. He was the actor she had slept with while dating Chandler. Joey had been right all along. And that's why she had been crying. She had been conflicted. Monica was furious for being duped.

"I did," Kathy admitted. "It wasn't a misunderstanding. It...it happened. You had been right about what you saw."

"I don't believe this," Chandler said, upset.

"There's more," Kathy went on.

"How? How could there be more? How?" Chandler asked.

"I love him," she whispered. She let go of Chandlers hands. "I'm so, so sorry. I've been so stupid. I thought it was nothing, that I loved you, but it's real. I love Nick. I can't marry you. I'm so sorry." She gathered her dress into her hands and ran down the aisle. Nick tore after her. Chandler stood there looking as though he had been shot. Kathy's family were quick to get up and leave. The rest were left sitting in shock. It had all happened so fast that it barely registered with everyone.

"Excuse me," Chandler said, moving past the minister and escaping out the back door. Monica ached to follow him, but she knew now was not the time.

"Well," the minister said, closing the Bible. "I guess that's that. If you'll excuse me." He left, and Rachel and Monica stood there looking at Ross. Kathy's brother had torn out of there right away as well.

"What do we do now?" Monica asked.

"I don't know," Ross replied honestly. "I don't know."

* * *

 **And on to season 5! I have lots planned ;) Again, please no speculating or predicting! It will ruin my surprises. Cheers!**


	26. Chapter 26

Chandler was standing in the honeymoon suite. _His_ honeymoon suite. He stared at the room. He wanted to torch the bed. He wanted to burn the whole damn building down, but what would that prove? That he was a lunatic? Probably. He started to pace. Kathy was with Nick. Kathy had _slept_ with Nick. Three times, according to him. Chandler wanted to punch the man's stupid face. Who comes to a wedding and steals the bride? Oh, that's right, Nick does! Nick the Dick. He sat on the edge of the bed. He just got left at the freaking altar! How was he ever going to recover from this?

 **Ross, Rachel, and Monica**

"What do we do?" Monica pressed. "I mean, he's probably so upset right now. Shouldn't we be comforting him?"

"You're right," Ross agreed. "I'll do it."

"Wait...you?" Monica asked. She had wanted to do it.

"Yea. I'm his best friend. I'll be back in a bit," Ross said, kissing Rachel on the cheek. Monica deflated.

"Are you all right?" Emily asked, rubbing Monica's back.

"I'm fine," Monica nodded. Rachel looked at her friend sympathetically. She had told Monica that Phoebe had told her about her feelings for Chandler pretty much right away, and the last few weeks had been hell watching her suffer. She wondered what was going to become of this whole thing now that Chandler was single again.

"I can't believe this," Rachel said finally. "Poor Chandler."

"I hope Ross is able to make him feel better," Emily said.

 **Chandler & Ross**

"Hey," Ross said, sticking his head into the room. "Can I come in?"

"I guess," Chandler answered, gesturing. Ross shut the door behind him and stood there awkwardly.

"So, how are you?" he finally asked.

"What do you think?"

"Sad, depressed, angry..." Ross trailed off. "Right?"

"All of the above. And then some."

"Dude, I can't believe this happened to you," Ross said, sitting down beside him.

"I should have known better. This also proves that Joey was right about the no heat on stage meaning sex in real life thing," Chandler groaned. "I should have listened to him!"

"You trusted Kathy. You did nothing wrong," Ross reassured him. Chandler fell backwards onto the bed, clutching his face.

"I feel like I've been kicked in the face, chest, and nuts," he moaned.

"That's...painful," Ross finished, wincing.

"And our honeymoon! What are we going to do about that? We were supposed to go to Italy..." Chandler trailed off.

"Italy?" Ross asked, intrigued. He was getting an idea.

"Yea, and now I have two tickets for a plane ride that leaves tomorrow morning," Chandler huffed. Ross fiddled with his fingers on his lap. He wondered how upset Chandler would be if he asked for those tickets.

"That's a shame," he finally said.

"I should have never proposed. No, scratch that, I should never have asked her out when I saw her," Chandler said angrily. "This would never have happened!"

"It sucks right now, but hey, at least you didn't get married and have to get divorced," Ross pointed out.

"Not helping," Chandler snapped.

"Do you just want to be alone?" Ross asked.

"Yea. I do. Thanks for trying."

"Anytime," Ross said, getting up. He hesitated at the door.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"How mad would you be if I asked you for those tickets to Italy?"

"Get out!" Chandler shouted.

"Pretty mad. Okay," Ross said, bowing his head and slipping out the door. It was worth a shot.

 **Monica, Rachel, & Emily **

"Well?" Emily asked, seeing Ross return.

"He's pretty broken up," Ross answered. "He wants to be left alone."

"What did you do?" Rachel demanded.

"I didn't do anything!" Ross whined. Rachel crossed her arms, not believing him.

"He's really upset, huh?" Monica asked.

"Yea. I think we should just give him some space for now," Ross replied.

"Emily! Hi," a voice said. They all turned.

"Zoey?" Emily asked, surprised.

"Is this where Chandler is getting married?" Zoey asked. "I saw the announcement."

"Oh no," Monica started.

"Why do you ask?" Emily asked, cutting her off.

"I have to stop him! I need to tell him I love him!" Zoey cried.

"Oh my God," Rachel groaned. Ross face palmed.

"You...you what?" Emily asked, not hearing properly.

"I love him. I should never have told him I wasn't looking for a relationship. These last couple of months, all I can think about is him. When I heard he was coming here to get married, I knew I had to make my move," Zoey finished.

"You're insane," Rachel blurted out.

"I'm in love," Zoey corrected.

"You're too late," Emily said quickly. "It's happened, and they're getting ready to go on their honeymoon." Zoey pouted.

"I'm too late?" she asked. "But..."

"Sorry," Emily cut her off. "You better leave before the bride sees you. She's a bit psycho, and she might rip your face off if she sees you here."

"It's really too late?" Zoey asked, hurt.

"Yes," Rachel nodded. Kudos to Emily for being so quick on her feet. Zoey sighed loudly and turned to go. They watched her walk away, releasing a sigh of relief once she was out of sight.

"Disaster averted," Emily said, laughing a little. She tugged on her green satin dress nervously. It had been too close.

"Was that Zoey?" Chandler asked, suddenly appearing. Everyone flinched.

"I thought you wanted to be alone?" Ross asked.

"What are you doing here?" Monica asked at the same time.

"No," Rachel said at the same time too. Emily said nothing. She was too surprised.

"It is," Chandler said, craning his neck. "Why was she here?"

"She was lost," Rachel answered.

"You're lying," Chandler pointed out.

"She came to congratulate you," Emily said. "I told her you were otherwise engaged, and she left."

"Well, I'm not engaged or married or anything," Chandler told her. "So I'm going to talk to her."

"Whoa, whoa," Ross said, grabbing his elbow. "That is not a good idea."

"You just got left at the altar," Monica added.

"Thank you for that," Chandler snarked.

"You're really hurting right now. You can't just jump into dating again. Give it some time," Rachel urged.

"To quote what she once told me, I'm only looking for a night of fun," Chandler snapped, yanking his arm away from Ross. "She hurt me too. You really think I'd date her after that?"

"And what is sleeping with her going to gain you?" Monica asked.

"I just told you. Fun," Chandler replied.

"No, absolutely not," Emily said fiercely. "You need to go back upstairs and lie down. Here, I will bring you some booze and some food. You're not going anywhere."

"But..." Chandler started as she grabbed ahold of his arm and pulled him away. Ross followed for support.

"Poor Chandler. He must really be hurting to be looking at a one night stand as fun," Rachel said, shaking her head. Monica was standing there thinking. Rachel took one look at her and read her mind.

"Don't you dare," Rachel warned. "You'll both only end up hurt."

"What? I'm not doing anything," Monica denied.

"Mon, I'm serious. Don't go near him right now."

"Fine," Monica huffed, crossing her arms.

"Come on. Let's go call Phoebs and Joey and tell them what's going on," Rachel suggested. Monica followed her to a phone reluctantly. She kept thinking about Chandler and what would happen when she went to his room later.

 **Joey & Phoebe **

"Wow," Joey said once they hung up the phone. He and Phoebe were sitting on the couch in Monica's apartment.

"Poor Chandler," Phoebe lamented. "He'll never trust again."

"I knew she was sleeping with Nick," Joey said, shaking his head. "There was no heat on that stage when they were acting. It's a clear sign that actors are sleeping together when there's no heat." Phoebe was thinking about Monica and what this could mean for her. She hoped Monica wouldn't do anything stupid.

"I can't believe we missed all the excitement," she said instead.

"I could be getting him hooked up with a British chick," Joey sighed.

"That's not a good solution," Phoebe shook her head.

"Why not?"

"He just got dumped at the altar."

"A night of fun wouldn't hurt him," Joey shrugged.

"Ugh, men," Phoebe grunted. She rubbed her belly. She hoped that any boy baby she might be carrying would be more sensitive than that.

 **Ross & Chandler **

Emily had supplied him with enough alcohol to erase every shitty memory Chandler ever had. He started on the beer first. He was almost finished the box. It was now nighttime, and he was starting to feel pretty good.

"So, about those tickets..." Ross said again.

"Oh my God! Just take 'em," Chandler growled, throwing the envelope at Ross.

"Really? Thanks!" Ross exclaimed. Chandler took another swig of his beer.

"Have fun on my honeymoon," he slurred.

"Don't say it like that," Ross admonished. "It'll spoil our fun."

"You're horrible, you know that?" Chandler said.

"I'm solving your problem of what's going to happen to the tickets. They're being used. By your best friend."

"Ugh, whatever," Chandler grunted. He popped the top off another beer. Ross watched, a little worried.

"You're gonna stay put, right?" he asked. "I think Emily knows Kung Fu. She'll whoop your ass if you leave."

"I will not leave this room," Chandler said a little aggressively. "I will have no fun whatsoever."

"Good. Okay, so I'm gonna go. Early start tomorrow," Ross said, gesturing to the tickets. Chandler rolled his eyes. Ross didn't hang around in case Chandler changed his mind. He went to find Rachel to tell her the good news.

 **Monica**

She stood outside Chandler's room debating what to do. She knew he was in there. She knew he'd go for her proposal no problem at all, so why was she hesitating? Rachel's words were trapped in her mind. Maybe it was a mistake to have a night of fun. Maybe they would get hurt. She shook her head hard. She wanted this. She knocked on his door, and it was immediately yanked open.

"Hi," she said, taken aback slightly.

"Whassssup?" he slurred. His breath was putrid. She resisted the urge to cover her nose.

"I thought I'd keep you company," she said. He laughed, tilting his head back.

"Ssssure," he nodded, moving aside. Monica came in and surveyed the room. There was a lot of empty beer bottles scattered on the floor. Chandler was barely able to stand up as he crossed the room to his bed where he promptly fell down face first. Monica instantly knew this wasn't going to be the night where she slept with Chandler. She stood there unsure of what to do next when he started snoring loudly. She chuckled. He wouldn't even remember her being there. She crept out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. She'd have to try again another time.

 **The Next Day**

"I can't believe you got these tickets from Chandler," Rachel said. She and Ross were sitting side by side on the plane, waiting for it to take off.

"It took some convincing," Ross said.

"He wasn't mad?"

"Nope. More sad I think, but this way they're getting used," Ross reasoned. Rachel gave him a look.

"You're so bad," she said, punching him lightly.

"I am a bad boy," he winked suggestively.

"Oohh keep talking like that, and we might have some fun later," Rachel purred. Ross squeezed her leg then. The pilot came on and said they were taking off, and Rachel gave Ross a kiss before they were airborne. It was going to be a wonderful second honeymoon.

 **Monica & Chandler**

They were waiting for their plane back to America to take off. Emily was not coming with them. She had an important job interview, and she was hoping to get it so that she could stay in England. Monica was going to really miss her, but she knew Emily needed to be here.

"So, were you in my room last night?" Chandler asked, rubbing his head.

"Um...for a moment," Monica answered sheepishly.

"Did I...do anything to you?"

"No."

"Oh, thank God. I know I was so drunk, and it would kill me if I hurt you," Chandler said quickly.

"Nothing happened."

"Good."

Monica felt a little stung at this. Hadn't he at one point had feelings for her? Hadn't he looked at her in a different way even when he was with Kathy? Was she just misreading all of this?

"Thanks for not letting me chase after Zoey," Chandler said, chuckling. "That would have been a total disaster."

"It would have been," she murmured. Maybe now was not the time to tell him how she felt. Maybe he needed more time.

"Back to reality," he sighed. "My coworkers are gonna love the story."

"Then they're jerks," she told him.

"They really are," Chandler agreed. He smiled at her. "Thanks for being a good friend, Mon."

"You're welcome," she smiled back. Friend. That's all he saw her as. She had to admit, it hurt a little.

 **Joey & Phoebe **

"Quick! Hurry!" Phoebe was shouting. Joey was rushing around and putting everything back the way it was, or at least, he hoped it was the way it was.

"I'm hurrying!" he cried. He tossed the pillow onto the couch, careful to hide the coffee stain on the corner. Phoebe was wringing her hands. She didn't want Monica to be upset when she got home. They had made a bit of a disarray of things while she was gone. Monica's phone rang just then.

"Oh dear God! She's calling. She knows!" Phoebe panicked.

"Relax. I'll take all the blame," Joey said, rubbing her shoulder.

"Monica's," Phoebe said into the phone. "Oh my God." Joey watched as her face grew concerned. He froze. What was wrong?

"Phoebs?" he whispered. She waved him off.

"Uh huh. Okay. Um, I'll let them know as soon as I can. Thanks."

"What was that about?" Joey asked. Phoebe looked up at him.

"It was the fire department. There was a fire in Ross and Rachel's building. Their apartment is ruined."

* * *

 **Thank you all for reading/reviewing/favoriting/following. Sorry for the cliffy. I'll do my best to update soon. I appreciate you not jumping ahead of me and making predictions or guesses at what I'm going to do next-ruins the story ;). Until next time!**


	27. Chapter 27

Monica walked into her apartment to find a very upset Phoebe and nervewracked Joey. She barely set her suitcase down when she was pounced on.

"Monica!" Phoebe cried. "Oh my God!"

"What's wrong?" Monica asked, immediately surveying her apartment.

"Where's Ross and Rachel?" Joey demanded.

"They went to Italy," Monica replied. "Why?"

"Something terrible happened!" Phoebe shouted.

"It's a disaster!" Joey yelled.

"What's with all the yelling?" Chandler asked, coming in. "You'd think someone's place burnt down."

"How did you know?!" Joey asked, his eyes bugging out.

"Wait...what?" Chandler said, confused.

"Phoebe! Just tell us," Monica ordered.

"Ross and Rachel's apartment burned down," Phoebe spilled. "We just got the call an hour ago."

"Oh my God," Monica gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.

"What are we gonna do?" Chandler asked.

"They said they would call when it was cleared to go there. They need everything that's left cleared out. I guess we salvage what's left for them since they're not here," Phoebe said sadly.

"Do you remember the hotel you were staying at in Italy?" Monica asked Chandler. He shook his head.

"This will destroy them," Joey said sadly.

"How long are they gone for?" Phoebe asked.

"At least a week. You guys, I feel so bad," Monica said, wringing her hands.

"Where are they gonna stay?" Joey asked.

"They'll stay here," Monica said. "With me. I have the spare room."

They all looked at each other, knowing how distraught both Ross and Rachel were going to be when they found out that they lost their home.

 **Ross & Rachel **

"I think this tops our last honeymoon," Rachel sighed, stretching out on the beach. Ross was sitting on the towel beside her.

"I agree, especially because we know our friends aren't just gonna show up and ruin it," Ross chuckled.

"You don't suppose Joey discovered he has some relative he didn't know he had over here and is gonna appear from nowhere asking to stay with us in our hotel?" Rachel teased.

"I will be the first to send him packing," Ross reassured her. She reached for his hand and squeezed it.

"I can't help but have this feeling something big is happening," she said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I don't know. I just have this feeling," she replied.

"Good or bad?"

"I'm not sure. I guess we'll find out."

 **A Week Later**

"Okay, that's everything," Monica huffed, setting the last box down. Joey and Chandler set theirs down as well. Phoebe was supervising on the couch since she was very pregnant at this point.

"Their whole lives in five boxes," Joey lamented. "That seems so sad."

"I wish there was more we could have saved, but the fire was pretty extensive," Monica sighed. She arranged the boxes in the spare room so that there was room to walk around the bed still. Ross and Rachel were coming home today, and she was trying to mentally prepare for their reaction to all this.

"I guess I should get to the airport," Chandler said. They had agreed that one of them would pick up Ross and Rachel to bring them here rather than letting them go to their apartment.

"Good luck," Monica said. He gave her a grim smile before going out the door.

"How are you doing?" Phoebe asked.

"I'm fine," Monica answered, giving Joey's direction a meaningful look.

"He knows," Phoebe said.

"What?! Phoebe!"

"You left us all alone for too long. We ran out of things to talk about," Phoebe said defensively.

"You couldn't have just had more sex to make up for it?" Monica demanded. Joey gasped loudly, pointing and looking back and forth between Monica and Phoebe. He started shaking his head violently.

"Oh, give it up. I know," Monica snapped. "I had to hear it from Emily."

"Emily?!" Joey asked, horrified. He stared at Phoebe.

"She figured it out," Phoebe said, her voice shrinking. "But on the bright side, Ross and Rachel still don't know."

"Can we keep it that way?" Joey asked. "It's so much pressure." He started yanking on his collar.

"God, you've been living with Chandler too long," Monica snorted.

"Hey, this is new for us, being in a committed relationship this long," Phoebe said. "Don't ruin it."

"Fine," Monica agreed.

"So back to the whole Chandler thing," Phoebe said eagerly. "Are you gonna tell him?"

"I think you shouldn't. He just got left at the altar," Joey added. Monica looked at the both of them staring at her with googly eyed expressions.

"I...I don't know," she admitted. She really didn't.

 **Chandler**

He was feeling very anxious when he arrived at the airport. He had no idea how to handle the emotions that were going to come his way once Ross and Rachel found out about what happened. He wasn't really sure why he offered to pick them up aside from the fact it was hard to be in a room alone with Monica right now. He was feeling very mixed up and confused, and he didn't want her to know. He just got left at the altar for crying out loud. He didn't want Monica to be his rebound. That being said, didn't not wanting that to happen mean he truly did care for her? He shook his head. Ross and Rachel emerged from the gate, and he couldn't think about Monica anymore.

"Hey," Ross said, grinning. "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to escort you home," Chandler answered, putting on a fake grin.

"That's...nice, but we can get home ourselves," Ross noted, cocking his head.

"Actually, this is perfect," Rachel said. "We can stop by Monica's and give everyone the souvenirs we got them!"

"Yes!" Chandler exclaimed a little too emphatically. They both stared at him.

"You okay?" Ross asked.

"I just really like souvenirs," Chandler answered. He grabbed Rachel's bag and headed towards the cab.

 **Ross & Rachel **

As soon as Rachel saw Monica, she knew something was wrong. She turned to see Chandler avoiding looking at them altogether, and she really knew something was wrong.

"What happened?" Rachel asked. She looked directly at Monica. "Did you...?"

"No!" Monica shouted before Rachel could finish her sentence with "sleep with Chandler?!"

"I think you guys should sit down," Joey said, gesturing to the couch. Ross and Rachel looked at each other then.

"This seems serious. Guys, you're scaring me," Ross said, still standing. The others looked back and forth from one another and then all turned to face them.

"The fire department called," Phoebe finally said.

"Your apartment burned down," Monica finished. There was a stunned silence from Ross and Rachel until Rachel finally broke it.

"Oh my GOD! What?!" she shrieked. She knew it. She _knew_ something big was coming! This was horrible.

"Our apartment...?" Ross managed to say. He felt like he was choking.

"What happened?" Rachel cried.

"They said it started in the apartment below, so yours got damaged a lot, but we managed to salvage some things," Monica said hurriedly.

"You salvaged?" Ross asked, incredulous. "Why didn't you leave it for us to do? Mon, it's our apartment."

"They needed it all out of there immediately," Monica said defensively. "You guys were in Italy. They said whatever was left was getting thrown out!"

"Ross, I'm not mad they did it," Rachel said, putting her hand on his chest to prevent him from exploding. "Thank you, guys, for doing that."

"But...but...what do we do now?" Ross asked, finally realizing they were homeless.

"I've set up the spare room for you. You can stay here until you find something," Monica answered.

"I want to see it," Rachel said suddenly.

"Are you sure?" Phoebe asked. "It's pretty bad."

"Yes," Rachel nodded. They all decided to go for support. Ross was dreading it as was Rachel. Their home was gone. The burning thought Ross had the whole ride over was: What if they had been there? Would they have escaped?

 **Later**

Rachel slid her hand across the sheets to find Ross's hand. She was crying. The image of their home looking like the site of a bombing was stuck in her mind.

"We'll be all right," Ross reassured her, hearing her sniffling.

"It's just...Ben took his first steps there," Rachel cried. "It was our first home as a married couple. We were gonna raise babies there."

"I know. I'm just as shocked and upset, but we have to stay positive. A better apartment will come along, Rach. I just know it."

"I wish I could be as confident as you are."

"We'll get through this together. Just think, we will get a lot of free meals," Ross said. She could hear him smile then.

"Right. Well, as long as we get free meals that will solve all our problems."

"I'm trying to make you smile."

"I know. It's just not working right now," Rachel sighed, curling into him. He stroked her hair slowly. He understood. He just hoped she would eventually come to peace with what happened.

 **Monica**

She was sitting on her balcony and doing some serious thinking. It was 1:30 a.m., and Ross and Rachel were sleeping. Chandler was across the hall, and Monica kept thinking about going over there and professing her love. She knew it was foolish to do so soon, but the words were always there every time she saw him. It was going to kill her until she told him.

"Be strong," she told herself firmly. There would be a right time eventually. She could feel it.

 **Joey & Phoebe **

"I feel so bad," Phoebe said. They were at her apartment, and Joey was cuddling her from behind. Phoebe couldn't get Ross and Rachel's expressions out of her mind when they saw their home in such ruin.

"Me too."

The babies kicked then, and Joey started giggling as they pounded at his hand that was on Phoebe's belly.

"I'm due really soon," Phoebe said.

"Where did the last eight months go?" Joey asked. They weren't quite at nine. The doctor did say, though, that sometimes with triplets, birth came early.

"Oh!" Phoebe cried out suddenly. Joey tensed.

"What? What's wrong?" he propped himself up to look at her. Her face was clenched in pain.

"I...I think that was...oh!" she cried out again. Joey leaped out of bed.

"Are you in labor?" he asked. Phoebe struggled to sit up, clutching her belly.

"I d-don't know," she stammered. It was definitely not a normal pain she ever had. It could only mean one thing. The babies were coming.

"But...but you have six more weeks," Joey said, frantic.

"I was told this could happen," Phoebe grunted as another wave of pain hit her.

"We gotta go to the hospital," Joey told her, starting to rush around and throwing stuff into bags. He helped Phoebe out of bed and got her changed. It was almost two a.m., and Joey knew he had to call Alice and Frank right away. He reached for the phone when she stopped him.

"Can this just be our moment until we get to the hospital?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" Joey was confused.

"When I deliver these babies, they're gone. I just...I just want to pretend for an hour that these are our babies, and that they'll come home with us."

"Oh, Phoebs," Joey said, pulling her in close. Of course this was upsetting her. He should have known. He kissed her forehead. "Of course I'll wait to call."

"Thank you," she said into his shoulder. They stayed that way until another surge of pain hit her.

"Time to go," Joey urged. She nodded, clutching his hand in hers tightly. It was time to give birth.


	28. Chapter 28

Monica groggily scrambled for the phone beside her bed when it started ringing. It was almost two a.m., and her adrenaline kicked in as soon as she realized this. Late night phone calls were usually never good news.

"Mon!" Joey shouted into her ear. She yanked the receiver away from her ear, flinching.

"Joey?"

"Phoebe is having the babies!"

"What?!"

"We're on our way to the hospital now. She's had contractions for the last half hour."

"O-okay. Do you want us there?"

"Ooooohhhhh tell her to get her scrawny ass there NOW!" Phoebe's voice shouted in the background.

"That's affirmative," Joey answered Monica.

"She didn't have to use the term 'scrawny,'" Monica huffed.

"Just be there," Joey said, exasperated. Monica hung up the same time he did, and she hurried out of bed, throwing clothes on. She rushed out and over to Ross and Rachel's room, banging on their door rapidly.

"What?" Ross asked, opening it. He was all bleary eyed.

"Phoebe is having the babies," Monica said. "I'm going over there as per her request."

"We'll come too," Ross said. "I'll wake Rachel."

"I'll get Chandler," Monica said. Her heart fluttered just saying his name. This was going to be a difficult night being with him. She pounded on his door, and he answered in nothing but boxers. She gulped.

"What?" he demanded.

"Ph-Phoebe's having the babies," she managed to say.

"And?"

"We're all going..."

"Oh all right. I'll come too. Why not? It's not like I was sleeping or anything," Chandler grunted, shutting the door in her face. Monica shook her head to try to clear her mind of the image of him shirtless.

 **Phoebe & Joey **

"Did you call Frank and Alice?" Phoebe asked, her voice strained. They were almost to the hospital now.

"I did. Alice is in Delaware, but Frank will be there soon."

"Joey, I have a plan," she said.

"What's that?"

"I want to keep one of these babies."

"Oh, Phoebs..."

"And you're gonna ask Frank for me."

"Oh...I can't..."

"AAAAHHHH!" Phoebe screamed, another contraction hitting her. The cab driver swerved, startled by her sudden outburst.

"It's all right," Joey said, patting her knee. Her nails were digging into his hand painfully. "I'll ask him." He felt very worried then. How was he going to ask Frank if he could give up one of the babies?!

 **Chandler**

They all arrived at the hospital together. The nurse directed them to Phoebe's room. She was hyperventilating because her doctor had fallen and hit her head, so she was getting a new doctor that was apparently in love with Fonzie.

"We could call for the kid doctor back," Joey suggested. He had been the only other available doctor, but Phoebe didn't like him either.

"Lord no. He probably wouldn't know what a vagina even is," Phoebe snarled.

"So, Phoebs, how's labor?" Chandler asked nonchalantly.

"It's terrific! It's just like having your insides twisted into a knot and repeatedly kicked," Phoebe spat at him.

"Don't poke the bear, man," Joey muttered to Chandler.

"I think we've gone past bear and directly to wolverine," Chandler muttered back.

"I'm sorry, is my pain and suffering hilarious to you?" Phoebe snapped.

"No ma'am," Chandler shook his head. "It definitely is no-aaaahhhh-t." Chandler gripped his side, eyes widening.

"Dude, I told you. She has powers," Joey hissed.

"You all right?" Ross asked Chandler, concerned.

"I think so," he answered. Monica and Rachel were up comforting Phoebe while they hung back.

"Was Carol this vicious when she had Ben?" Joey asked Ross.

"There were moments where it seemed she had been taken over by a rage driven fiend, yes," Ross nodded.

"I'm scared," Joey whimpered. Ross clapped his back.

"It'll be over in a few hours or more."

"Ahhhh," Chandler groaned, clutching his side again.

"What's with you?" Ross asked.

"I have no idea," Chandler answered. Phoebe was shooting him dagger looks across the room, and he flinched openly. She really did have powers.

"Can someone escort the weenie out of here?" Phoebe asked harshly.

"I'm on it," Monica said, taking Chandler by the arm. She avoided Rachel's scrutinizing stare. She led him down the hall where he cried out in pain again.

"We should get you looked at," Monica said.

"They won't find anything. It's Phoebe. She's cursed me," Chandler responded.

"We can risk it," Monica said, taking him to the emergency department.

 **Ross & Rachel **

"Birth is a little scary," Rachel said to Ross as they wandered the halls. They came to the room where all the newborns were, and they paused. Rachel touched the glass, a small smile on her face.

"They're so small," she whispered. "So fragile."

"They are," Ross agreed.

"Phoebe is going to be sad after this," Rachel commented. "I just know it."

"Then we'll be there for her," Ross promised. They went to sit down in the hallway a little ways from Phoebe's room.

"Where are Chandler and Monica?" Rachel asked suddenly.

"I don't know," Ross replied, looking around.

 **Joey**

He found Frank by the fountain getting a drink. He had arrived not too long ago and had asked Phoebe to hold the babies in, to which Phoebe snarled that she was already in the middle of the last favor he had asked of her. Joey was very nervous, knowing what he was about to ask.

"So, Frank," Joey said, rubbing his hands together. "Big day."

"Yea," Frank laughed nervously.

"Three babies. That's a lot," Joey started. Frank shook his head.

"Not to me," he said. Joey knew better than to continue this conversation.

"Good for you," Joey nodded, patting Frank's shoulder in a comrade sort of way.

"JOOOEEEY!"

"Gotta go," Joey said, rushing back to Phoebe's side.

 **Chandler & Monica **

"Kidney stones?!" Chandler exclaimed. He gripped Monica's hand hard. She tried not to gasp from the pain. It hadn't entirely healed from Ross nearly breaking it before.

"Kidney stones," the doctor repeated in his annoying way.

"How can that be? It's gotta be something else."

"Kidney stones," the doctor said again. "They are too close to the bladder for us to break them up. You'll have to pass them or we go up the urethra."

"Damn it," Chandler groaned. "I'll pass them. Nothings going up anywhere." The pain overwhelmed him then, and he threw up. Monica barely dodged the line of fire. The doctor left to call a nurse to clean up.

"Oh, God," Chandler moaned. "I wish you hadn't seen that."

"I wish I hadn't either," Monica agreed. It definitely erased the shirtless image she had.

"There you are," Rachel said, entering with Ross. "What's going on?"

"Chandler has kidney stones," Monica explained.

"Ouch," Rachel winced.

"He has to pass them since they are too close to his bladder," Monica finished. Chandler was whimpering loudly now.

"You brave man," Ross commented.

"I'll trade ya," Chandler said, gasping.

"I'm good," Ross held up his hands and leaving the room. Rachel was left looking at Monica.

"I've got this," Monica said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Rach," Monica answered strongly. She tried to convey to Rachel that everything was fine.

"I think I'm gonna be sick again," Chandler garbled. Rachel quickly exited, not wanting to witness it.

 **Phoebe & Joey **

"We can't have him and Frank in here," the doctor said, gesturing to Joey.

"I'll go," Joey said quickly. "Frank's the father."

"But...but..." Phoebe cried.

"I'll be right outside," Joey promised. He felt slightly relieved that he was going to be spared watching Phoebe give birth. Then he felt bad for feeling relieved since she was his girlfriend, and he should always be there for her no matter what.

"Is it happening?" Ross asked, joining him.

"Yes."

"She really seems to want you with her," Ross commented. Joey froze, knowing that neither Ross or Rachel knew of their relationship yet. This was his chance to tell him, but he just couldn't. Not yet.

"Yea, I dunno," Joey shrugged.

"Chandler is in a lot of pain," Rachel said, coming into view and sitting down beside Ross.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Kidney stones."

"How did they get in there?" Joey asked, confused. "Did he eat stones? Cos it can happen."

"No, Joey," Ross answered. He explained what they were.

"I'm glad it's not me," Joey said, wincing. They could hear Phoebe shouting in the delivery room.

"Oh gosh," Rachel said. "I hope she's all right."

 **Chandler & Monica **

"I WANT THE DRUGS!" Chandler shrieked, grabbing Monica and rocking back and forth hard.

"Oh my God!" she shouted.

"Drugs!"

"Argh!"

"Drugs!"

"Argh!"

"Drugs!"

"Chandler, calm down," Monica said, managing to break the cycle. He still had a grip of her shirt, though, and she was trying not to think about how close his hand was to her chest. Chandler howled like a wounded child then, chasing out all sexual thoughts she was having.

"It's time to try peeing," the doctor said, coming in then. Chandler grunted, his eyes going a little bit crossed.

"Wait, wait, wait!" the doctor cried, holding up a bottle.

"Right," Chandler said, his eyes shifting. Monica left the room then, not wanting to lose anymore of the last shreds of feelings she still had for Chandler by watching him pee out kidney stones.

 **Phoebe**

She had done it. Three babies successfully pushed out of her. She was exhausted, and she watched Frank and Alice, who had finally made it, hold their babies and cry together. Joey came over to her then, smoothing her damp hair out of her face.

"Did you ask?" Phoebe questioned. "Am I getting one?"

"Um, no, Phoebs," Joey answered.

"Oh. It's okay. It was a long shot," Phoebe said, her voice thick. Joey felt her hurt then, and it made him feel bad.

"We're going to make some calls," Alice said, handing a baby to Joey. Frank handed the other to Phoebe. Rachel still had the third one. Ross was cooing at him over her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Joey said softly. He looked down at baby girl Chandler. He himself felt a little sad too that they wouldn't be bringing one home.

"It...it's fine. Hey, guys," Phoebe said loudly. "Can I have a minute alone with the babies?"

"Sure," Rachel said, handing the third one to her. Joey settled Chandler into her arms too. He waited for Ross and Rachel to leave before kissing her forehead. He knew she was going to be really emotional after.

 **Monica & Chandler **

"You did it," Monica smiled at him. Chandler smiled weakly back.

"Would you like to see them?" the doctor asked. He handed the bottle to Chandler after he nodded.

"So small," he said hoarsely.

"You should be fine to leave soon once you've rested," the doctor said. He left them alone then.

"Thank you for, um, supporting me through that," Chandler said sheepishly.

"It was no trouble," Monica shrugged.

"You're a good friend," he said. She sucked her cheeks, feeling disappointed for some reason. Perhaps that was all he saw her as. Just a friend. It really sucked.

 **Joey & Phoebe **

Once the babies were assessed and cleared to leave, Alice and Frank took them home. Joey helped Phoebe get ready to go home as well. It was afternoon the next day now, and Phoebe was feeling really low.

"I feel so empty," she said, sitting on the hospital bed.

"I wish I could help you feel better," Joey said, joining her and taking her hand.

"It will eventually pass, but I just feel like it all went by so fast."

"It did."

"I'm sorry I yelled."

"It's okay."

"Thank you for not leaving me."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Joey said, kissing her then.

"Hey, oh, whoa!" Chandler said, coming in then. They broke apart fast, startled.

"Oh, it's you," Joey said, relieved.

"Yes. I just passed kidney stones. Thanks, Phoebs, for cursing me," Chandler said sarcastically.

"My pleasure," she grinned.

"Can we get the hell out of here now?" Chandler asked. Monica was with Ross and Rachel getting a cab.

"Sounds good," Phoebe said, getting up. She couldn't wait to go home and sleep. Chandler went ahead, passing Monica. He felt oddly closer to her since this whole thing. He thought he might have been imagining it, but her face had gone red a few times around him. What did that mean? He pondered this as he climbed into the cab. Perhaps it was worth investigating.

* * *

 **This was so much fun to write. I believe I will be time jumping a tad in the next chapter. Thanks for reading!**


	29. Chapter 29

**My first Friends story to go past 100 reviews! Thank you all for sticking with me on this journey and leaving your feedback. Here is another chapter for you.**

* * *

 **5 Weeks Later**

Chandler looked at himself in the mirror. He tried not to dwell on his appearance. He flicked at the stubborn piece of hair that kept standing up like a cockatoo. Monica was cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and he had offered to help. He wasn't sure why he had done this as his version of cooking included putting both bacon and a stick of butter in the frying pan and watching to see what happened. He just felt this pull to Monica lately, and he wasn't sure why. She had been avoiding him most of the time, which he found strange. He refused to believe it had anything to do with him passing a kidney stone and coming off as a baby about it.

"Dude, come on. I gotta get in there," Joey whined.

"All right," Chandler sighed, giving his hair the final once over. It was acceptable he supposed. Joey shoved past him as soon as he opened the door, kicked Chandler out with his foot on his back, and slammed the door. Chandler muttered to himself as he headed over to Monica's.

"Hey," she smiled at him.

"Hey," he smiled back. She was wearing an apron with her hair pinned up and out of the way. A few loose strands were dangling beside her cheek.

"How are you at mashing potatoes?" she asked, not even looking up from what she was doing.

"Um, okay I guess."

"You're about to become a pro," she said, handing him the masher and pushing him over to the pot. Chandler skidded to a stop, the masher held midair in his hand.

"What happened to our grilled cheese tradition?" he asked.

"It died," she answered, going back to pulling stuffing out of the turkey. Chandler had to admit he was grateful to not have that job. He turned to the pot of potatoes and gingerly tapped them with the masher. Monica snorted, catching sight of what he was doing. She came over and put the masher in the right position, her hand on his. Chandler felt his heart skip a beat, but her hand was gone as soon as it had come.

"Now push down on it," she instructed. He did so.

"Whoa, cool," he said as the potatoes got squished.

"See? Pro," she grinned.

"That's all I have to do?" he asked, surprised.

"I'll add in the rest as you mash," she replied. She set the bowl of stuffing on the table and covered it. She went to attend to the turnip next.

"You know," Chandler said. "I heard a comedy bit about turnips."

"Of course you did," Monica nodded.

"Something about God burying them so no one would find them, and we dug them up anyway," Chandler smirked.

"Ha, ha," she said. They worked in silence then, Monica coming over to add butter and milk every so often while Chandler mashed and stirred.

"So, how are you?" Chandler asked, feeling awkward.

"I'm fine," she laughed.

"I mean, three weeks ago it's been a year..." Chandler trailed off. Monica stopped what she was doing and turned to look at him.

"I know," she nodded. "I was trying not to think about it."

"Sorry."

"It's okay."

She turned away then, and Chandler knew she was tearing up. God, he was so stupid sometimes.

"And how are you? I mean, a year ago you were happily dating Kathy," she said.

"I'm getting there," he sighed. It had been a difficult last while. It didn't help when he spotted Kathy standing next to the dope she'd cheated on him with. Apparently they were in looove.

"You been on any dates?" she asked casually. Chandler stiffened and looked at her. She wasn't looking back.

"No," he replied. "I'm not ready I don't think."

"I don't think I am either," Monica admitted. She tucked her hair behind her ear, knowing she was lying. She had been obsessing about Chandler for the past few months, and she still didn't have the guts to broach the subject with him. She wanted him to be ready before she did. There was nothing like being rejected.

"Hmm," was all he said in return. They continued to work in silence until Phoebe came in.

"Hey, you guys," she said, hanging up her coat. "Mmmm something smells amazing in here."

"That'll be my potatoes," Chandler said proudly.

"Oh, so you mash them and suddenly they're _your_ potatoes?" Monica teased. He flushed.

"Possession is nine tenths of the law," Phoebe quoted.

"Moving on," Chandler said.

"How are you?" Monica asked, giving Phoebe a quick kiss on the cheek. "You seen the babies lately?"

"Yesterday," Phoebe replied. "I miss them."

"I know, sweetie," Monica said empathetically. Phoebe got settled on the couch. She had long ago learned she would never be up to Monica's standards of kitchen help on a holiday dinner.

"Hey," Joey said, coming in then. "Man, I'm starving."

"Dinner is in less than twenty minutes," Monica warned as he headed for her fridge.

"Yea, Joey, don't fill up now," Phoebe added. He snorted.

"Tribbiani's don't 'fill up.' Have I taught you nothing?" Joey asked, opening the jar of pickles.

"We're here," Rachel said, out of breath. Ross followed in behind her.

"Where were you guys?" Chandler asked. They looked at each other.

"Well, to be honest, we've been looking at apartments," Ross answered. "We don't want to cramp Monica any longer than we have to."

"You're not cramping," Monica objected. "All I ask is you lock the bathroom door when you're showering together."

"Sorry," Ross and Rachel both said again for the fifth time that day. Joey's eyebrows rose up to his hairline.

"I'm done with the potatoes," Chandler said proudly, turning to Monica. "What else can I do?"

"Just sit down and relax," she answered. "I've got it covered."

"All right," he said, not even fighting it. He was impressed he had made it through his one task without damaging it beyond recognition. There was a whirlwind of activity, and then everyone was eating. Monica enjoyed these moments. She watched each of her friends and her brother while she ate. So much had changed in the last year. She didn't really even feel like the same person anymore.

"That was so good," Phoebe said after. They eventually migrated from the table to the living room, and Monica felt like her stomach was going to burst.

"I guess I'll start," Rachel said, looking at them all. "I'm thankful that we are together."

"I'm thankful for turkeys," Joey added.

"I'm thankful for friends," Phoebe smiled.

"I'm thankful for the support you've all given since the fire," Ross said.

"I'm thankful for the memories we've made in the last year," Monica offered. Her heart hurt a little thinking about Richard, but she kept it to herself.

"I'm not thankful for anything this year," Chandler said, patting his stomach.

"What?!" they all burst out.

"Chandler!" Phoebe shouted.

"What?" he asked. "It was a rotten year, and I'm glad it's over with. What is there to be thankful for? Lying ex fiances? Almost weddings?"

"So you're saying this tops your worst thanksgiving when your parents told you they were divorcing?" Ross asked. Everyone leaned in, interested in Chandler's response since he had repeatedly used this thanksgiving as the reason he hates the holiday.

"It's a close second," Chandler answered.

"I know Monica's worst thanksgiving," Rachel smirked.

"Oh...oh no," Monica started.

"Joey ruined her dinner by putting the turkey on his head!" Phoebe exclaimed. "I know this one."

"No," Rachel tried.

"Yes, it is," Monica cut her off, giving her a dirty look.

"Monica's worst thanksgiving was last year's because her boyfriend had just died," Chandler cut in, looking at them all and feeling puzzled. There was a hush in the room then.

"Right," Rachel nodded. "I...I can't believe I forgot."

"It's okay," Monica said, feeling relieved.

"No, Mon, I shouldn't have forgotten. I'm so sorry."

"Rach, trust me, it's all right," Monica said, patting her leg. She stood then, going to the kitchen to start cleaning up. Chandler joined her after a while.

"She is blonde," he said after a while. Monica gave a small snicker.

"Thanks," she said. They held eye contact for a moment, and then Monica had to look away. Chandler wondered if there really was something there, something she was hiding from him.

"What's your worst thanksgiving, Joey?" Phoebe asked in the background. Monica and Chandler kept cleaning and listening at the same time.

"Oh, it would have to be the time my sister ratted out to my parents that I had lost my virginity," Joey answered, crossing his arms.

"Ouch!" Ross hooted.

"Dude," Chandler commented.

"Yea, they decided to punish me with no dinner at all, but my sister snuck me some anyway cos she felt bad."

"That was sweet of her," Rachel noted.

"What would have been sweeter is if she had kept her big fat mouth shut," Joey corrected.

"Ross?" Phoebe cut in then. "What's yours?"

"Um, I don't really have one," Ross replied.

"Rachel?"

"The one where my aunt decided to tell me that Santa Claus wasn't real," Rachel mused. "I was eight."

"Oh no," Phoebe said sadly.

"Yea. I cried the whole night. My parents couldn't understand what was wrong because I wouldn't tell them."

"Your aunt sounds mean," Joey pointed out.

"She was," Rachel agreed.

"So, Phoebs, you're last," Monica said, picking the turkey apart and bagging the leftovers.

"It's the one where my Mom killed herself," Phoebe replied. "Well, she had done it a while before, but it was my first without her."

"That sounds so hard, Phoebs," Joey said, rubbing her arm. Phoebe smiled sadly at him.

"It was. The guy sharing my box at least managed to find a turkey leg in the trash and shared it with me."

Monica winced. She sometimes still couldn't believe her friend had endured living on the streets. The rest of the evening went by with sharing of good thanksgiving memories, and when it was all over, Monica found herself standing on the balcony and wondering just where her life was going to be next year.

 **3 Weeks Later**

"I cannot wait for the New Year," Chandler said. They were in Monica's apartment, and the party was in full swing. He noticed Joey and Phoebe looking anxious, and he knew it was to do with the New Year's kiss. He meandered over to them casually.

"You're stressing," he said.

"We wanna kiss at midnight, but Ross and Rachel still don't know we're dating," Phoebe told him.

"I'm sure they won't really think about it," Chandler noted. "I mean, they will be busy making out with each other."

"Can you just make sure?" Joey asked.

"How am I gonna do that?" Chandler questioned.

"You're smart. You'll figure something out," Joey said, slapping Chandler's back and pushing him towards Ross and Rachel.

"Oh boy," Chandler said, rubbing his neck. "There's a conundrum with the midnight kissing train."

"Huh?" Ross asked, staring at him.

"Well, you've got Rachel, so that leaves Monica, Joey, Phoebe and myself left with no one to really kiss," Chandler said.

"As long as Joey doesn't kiss Monica, I'm good," Ross said, waving his hand.

"Ookay then," Chandler nodded. He went back to Joey and Phoebe.

"Well?" Joey asked.

"He doesn't want your mouth anywhere near Monica's, so you're in the clear."

"Does this mean you'll be kissing Monica?" Phoebe asked, a glint coming to her eyes.

"Um, I guess it does," Chandler nodded, feeling incredibly nervous suddenly.

"This could be a new start," Phoebe said.

"I dunno..." Chandler began. The countdown began, and Phoebe shoved him in the direction of Monica. He noticed she had been crying.

"You okay?" he asked her.

"Oh yea," she nodded. "I just am going into another year still not married or even dating anyone. It's just getting sad."

"You'll find someone," he reassured her. She looked at him full on then.

"I love your optimism," she said. "I don't even have anyone to kiss at midnight, though, so there, Einstein."

"You can kiss me," Chandler told her, pinching his leg inside his pant pocket to keep from freaking out.

"Huh," Monica said, still looking at him.

"10, 9, 8..." the television chanted.

"It's a go or a no go," he said.

"5, 4, 3..."

Monica stared at him. She had been imagining what it would be like to kiss him, and here was her golden opportunity. He went to move in at "1," but some random guy grabbed her face and planted one on her before Chandler could do anything.

"Happy New Year, luv!" the man said, stumbling away. Monica coughed from the strong taste of alcohol.

"Wow," Chandler said, gaping after the man and wanting to stab him all at the same time.

"Well, I was wrong," Monica said, smoothing her shirt awkwardly. "I did have someone to kiss me." She hurried away, and Chandler stood there feeling like he had just missed out on one hell of an opportunity. The feeling in his gut was telling him that just maybe he was starting to have feelings for Monica again.

 **3 Weeks Later**

"Hey," Phoebe said, looking out the window. "Ugly Naked Guy is packing boxes."

"What?" Rachel asked, leaping off the chair to join her at the window. "Is he moving?!"

"I think so," Phoebe nodded.

"That means his apartment is for rent!" Rachel cried, rushing to call Ross. Phoebe watched her as she talked excitedly into the receiver. She was still reeling from the fact she had seen her father the week before at her grandmother's funeral. Joey had been incredibly supportive the whole time, and he was there for her after she confronted her father. It had been the closure she'd wanted, but it still felt like she needed more. She didn't think she'd ever see her father again, though. Phoebe was now starting to think that maybe Ross and Rachel could know that she and Joey were dating since everyone else knew. It just made sense. It made her nervous, though. She knew Rachel would be mad she kept it a secret so long.

"We're gonna go visit Ugly Naked Guy when Ross is finished at work," Rachel said, hanging up the phone. Then she saw Phoebe's expression. "You okay? I know things have been hard since your grandmother died."

"I'm okay," Phoebe answered. "Are you gonna take Ugly Naked Guy a bribe?"

"I never thought of that," Rachel said, thinking. "Damn it." She dialed Ross back and went into their room to talk to him. Phoebe watched Ugly Naked Guy packing and wondered how he could be true to himself in that way when she couldn't even be true about her relationship with Joey with everyone.

 **Chandler**

Chandler was pacing his apartment. He'd spent the last three weeks going over the almost kiss he had with Monica on New Year's, and he wanted to talk to her about it, but she was avoiding him. He knew that meant she wanted to talk about it too. He decided to just be brave and go talk to her. He charged over to her apartment, and he found her sitting in the living room going through her mail.

"Hey," she said, smiling at him.

"Hey," he replied. "Look, I wanna talk to you about something."

"Oh?" she asked, putting her mail down. Her heart was banging in her chest. It was about that almost kiss, she knew it.

"When we...when I...On New Year's," he started, changing his approach. God, he was scared. Then, he caught something across the street.

"Chandler?" Monica pressed, seeing his stunned expression.

"Oh my God!" he shouted, pointing.

"What?!"

"OH MY GOD!"

"Chandler, wha- OH GOD!" she shrieked.

"They...they're..." Chandler tried to say. Monica turned away, repulsed.

"When I told them to play to his strengths, I didn't mean to sit in the apartment with him naked!" she yelled, covering her mouth.

"I think they've got a real chance of getting it now," Chandler pointed out. He averted his eyes from the window. This was ruining his moment. He wanted to kick Ross's ass for it.

"I gotta go," Monica said, gagging. She jumped up and rushed to the door. Chandler was hot on her heels.

"Um, Mon?"

"Later," she cut him off. "We'll talk later." She hurried down the stairs, leaving Chandler standing at the landing and hating his life.

 **Ross & Rachel**

"Our first apartment together," Rachel said, hugging Ross. She shuddered at what they did to get it, but it was worth it. They were walking back to Monica's when they saw Phoebe and Joey in the street. Rachel went to call out when suddenly Joey kissed Phoebe.

"Oh...wow," Rachel said, stopping in her tracks. Ross stopped too, and they both gaped at what they were seeing.

"Since when?" Ross asked.

"I...I don't know," Rachel answered. "I...this...well..."

"I can see it," Ross said, tilting his head at them. Phoebe released Joey's hand as he went off in the other direction. That's when she saw Ross and Rachel, and her face went very white.

"Phoebs!" Rachel shouted when Phoebe turned and bolted. She looked at Ross.

"I guess she didn't want anyone to know," Ross figured.

"How are we gonna keep this to ourselves?" Rachel asked.

"We have to try," Ross said firmly. "For Phoebe. It's her life. She deserves privacy."

"If she wanted privacy, she shouldn't be kissing boys in public that she doesn't want anyone to know she's with!" Rachel exclaimed. That meant...

"The others know," Ross cut in, getting her drift.

"Those weasels!"

"Well, maybe she swore them to secrecy."

"Ugh. That's it. I'm confronting her," Rachel said, walking again.

"Rach, honey, just calm down for a second. Let's not do anything rash."

"How could she not feel she could tell us?"

"I don't know. Let's wait and see what she says when we see her again," Ross advised. Rachel was fuming, but she finally agreed. She was more hurt that Monica hadn't told her if she knew.

 **Phoebe**

Phoebe was panicked but also relieved. It was in the open. Everyone knew. Perhaps that was for the best. She knew she had to face Rachel sometime, but she had to be ready for the onslaught of questions. She went to work and shoved all thoughts of it from her mind. She needed to be alert for her clients. Joey might not be thrilled about it, but it was too late now. She'd find a good way to tell him before Ross blurted it out, which he was excellent at doing.

 **Monica**

Monica felt like a coward, hiding from Chandler when she knew what he wanted to talk about. She just wasn't ready. She didn't know what to say. She figured if she waited a bit, he'd forget about it. Then she wouldn't have to lie to him and say she hadn't wanted his kiss when she really had. She kept walking, her head low. Things would get complicated if he knew she liked him. She just knew it. It was better this way. That's what she was trying to convince herself anyway. If only she could believe it.

* * *

 **It's a slow burn for Mondler, so sorry if you're wanting them to be together right this second...that's not happening lol. I'm still only on season 5! I've got a lot of story left ;)**


	30. Chapter 30

**I haven't forgotten about this story! I'm just trying to finish off some of my other shorter ones so I can focus more on my longer term ones. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Phoebe peered into Monica's apartment before going inside. She was making sure that Rachel wasn't in there.

"Hey, sweetie," Monica said, seeing her there. "Are you okay?"

"Is Rach here?"

"No."

"Then I'm great," Phoebe beamed, coming in. Monica chuckled.

"Is she playing Fashion Police again?" she asked, eyeing Phoebe's outfit.

"No. She and Ross saw Joey and I kissing earlier," Phoebe answered casually.

"What?!"

"Yea. I know she's going to confront me, and I'm not ready for that," Phoebe said, collapsing onto the couch.

"Well, she can't be that mad about it. It's your business, not hers," Monica reassured her. This was a good distraction for her own thoughts. She wanted a reprieve from thinking about Chandler 24/7.

"It's not that I'm ashamed or anything. I just didn't want to hear her judgments," Phoebe went on. Monica nodded. Rachel could be a little judgy at times. Ross too.

"You've been together so long now, though. I think it won't be as bad as you think."

"I hope so."

"Hey, guys," Rachel said, coming in then as though summoned. Phoebe flinched openly. Rachel breezed over to them and sat on the arm of the chair.

"Hey," Monica replied. "I, um, saw that you got the apartment."

"Oh, God. You saw?!" Rachel grimaced.

"Chandler too."

"Chandler?! Oh no," Rachel cried, hiding her face behind her hands. This was too embarrassing.

"I think he washed his eyes with acid, though, so you're good," Monica teased.

"I really wanted that apartment," Rachel started, but Monica held up her hand.

"I don't need an explanation. I'm just happy you got it."

"Thanks."

"I gotta go," Phoebe said, getting up. The anticipation of Rachel confronting her was too much to take. Monica gave her a sympathetic look as she passed. Rachel waited a second before going after her.

"Rach," Monica started.

"I'll deal with you later," Rachel cut her off. She caught Phoebe in the hallway.

"Oh, it's following me," Phoebe whimpered. Rachel dismissed the "it" comment, although it was hard.

"Are you dating Joey? Or are you just having a fling? Not many know this, but Joey is fragile. If you're not serious about him, please don't hurt him," Rachel finished. Phoebe gaped at her.

"I would never hurt Joey. Ever. And yes, it is serious. We've been dating since your wedding."

"Since my wed-! You know what, I don't care," Rachel said, breathing in deeply. How the hell had she missed something that big for almost two years?!

"I'm sorry. We were scared to tell anyone in case it didn't last."

"So, others do know then. Just not me or Ross."

"They found out. We didn't tell them. If we had it our way, nobody would know at all," Phoebe said.

"I get it. I do. I'm just a little hurt that you guys were afraid to tell us, your friends," Rachel commented.

"Sometimes your friends are harder to tell," Phoebe replied. Rachel crossed her arms and looked down before looking back up.

"Well, I hope you're happy together," she finally said.

"We really are, Rachel."

"Good," she sniffed. Then she turned and went back inside Monica's apartment. Phoebe stood there feeling guilty and bad for letting them know sooner. She hoped Rachel wouldn't be too mad at her for long.

 **Monica & Rachel **

Monica flinched when Rachel slammed her door.

"You knew?" she asked. Monica nodded. Rachel came and fell onto the couch, sighing loudly.

"If it helps, I found out, she didn't tell me," Monica said quickly.

"That's what she said too. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm so mad!"

"I was hurt too," Monica said. "But I had to accept that she has the right to her own secrets."

"Don't we all?" Rachel asked. "Like you and the whole Chandler thing. How is that going by the way?"

"Not great," Monica admitted.

"I'll try to let this go, but it'll be hard," Rachel sighed. She did feel hurt that Phoebe couldn't trust her, but she knew she had to let it go before their friendship was affected by it.

 **A Week Later**

"Honey, what is wrong with chipping in?" Rachel asked as she arranged the pillows on the couch. Ross was growling about something to do with giving money to someone. Apparently he had been accosted in the hallway by the President. Rachel was still trying to piece it all together. She was stuck on the fact of why the President was even in their apartment building.

"It's the principle. We _just_ moved in here. Why would we give money to someone who never did any maintenance for us?" Ross demanded.

"Because it's a nice thing to do?" Rachel said, giving him a look.

"I'm not backing down," Ross argued. He grabbed the cardboard from their moving boxes and stormed out.

"Okay," Rachel sighed. Sometimes Ross could be so hard headed over something so incredibly stupid. She was trying not to think about Phoebe and Joey. Since everyone knew now, they were being openly affectionate with one another. Rachel bristled inside a little at this, and she didn't even know why. It wasn't even the fact they were together that bothered her, it was the fact that they had hidden it for so long. Rachel prided herself on knowing the goings on in their gang, and this was twice now that her friends had secrets that she didn't figure out until they told her. Did they really not trust her?

"Sweetie?" Ross asked, breaking into her thoughts.

"Yea?"

"I went out to put the cardboard away, and this little kid just spit on me. Can you get me a towel?"

"Oh, ew! Yes, I'll get it," Rachel said, hurrying. She gagged a little at the sight of the spit wad on Ross's pants. He wiped it away quickly.

"That's it," he snapped. "I will not be treated this way because I won't pay up. You know what I'm going to do?"

"Pay up?" Rachel asked hopefully.

"No! I'm going to throw a party to show how cool we are," Ross answered aggressively. Rachel refrained from rolling her eyes.

"I don't think one party is going to make you cool, honey," she said instead.

"Watch me," he said, making a face at her. Then he went out to get supplies for his party. Rachel sighed. She wondered when she should step in and start doing damage control.

 **Phoebe & Joey **

"Why are we going over there again?" Joey asked.

"Because. We need to show that they are our friends and we do like them," Phoebe answered.

"I didn't know they weren't our friends and we didn't like them," Joey said, puzzled.

"They are, and we do, but I don't want them to think that they aren't and we don't," Phoebe told him. Joey blinked at her a few times. This was seriously hurting his head.

"Okay," he said finally. He didn't want to make it more confusing than it already was. He knew they had found out about him and Phoebe, and he was glad everyone finally knew, but he didn't understand why Ross and Rachel would think they hated them.

"Oh, wow," Phoebe said, looking around as they came inside. "Monica said Ross was having a party, but this is really epic!" After walking around and chatting with people, she soon discovered it wasn't Ross's party. No sooner did she find that out when Ross's head poked out of his apartment.

"Phoebe!" he shouted. "Joey!"

"Uh oh," Phoebe said, pulling Joey over to him. They went inside, and Ross glared at them. Joey noticed that his apartment had a lot of chairs and snacks, and Rachel was sitting on a chair with a party hat on looking like she'd rather be dead.

"What were you two doing out there?!" Ross demanded.

"We...we thought it was your party," Phoebe said nervously. This was already going bad. She needed them to be happy right now.

"Turns out it's for some handyman," Joey added, nodding. "Ooohh chips." He reached for the bag. Ross smacked his hand away.

"You don't get chips because you went to Howard's party."

"Oh, Ross, come on," Rachel said finally. "Let's just go. It can't be that bad." She stood and walked past them all. Phoebe waited for her to say something about her and Joey, but it didn't come. Perhaps she was finally over it.

Ross reluctantly followed his wife out into the crowd. He got booed instantly. Phoebe and Joey flanked them, giving some protection from the spitting kid.

"I don't get it," Ross said, looking at Rachel. "You live with me, but they're not booing you."

"I'm just prettier," Rachel dismissed.

"Hey, Rachel!" Steve said, coming up to them. "Thanks again. You're a peach."

"Oho, stop," Rachel said to Steve, giving him a sharp look. He left quickly.

"Why are you a peach?" Ross asked, already knowing the answer. Rachel bit her lip and looked at the ceiling.

"No reason," she answered.

"You chipped in, didn't you?!" Ross yelped.

"I'm sorry! I just want to live in a building where people don't call you a moneyhogging loser!" Rachel snapped. "So yes, I paid up."

"I can't believe you. My own wife," Ross started.

Everyone was staring at them now. Rachel didn't even care.

"You're damn right, your own wife. I don't care what you think. Howard obviously was a well liked man, and I like to be liked too, so if giving him money gets me liked, then that's what I'm going to do!" she finished. Everyone muttered at this.

"Um, Rach," Phoebe said. "That's not a good reason to give someone money."

"Shut up, liar," Rachel growled. "I'm still mad at the two of you, so I don't want to hear it!"

"Let's go inside now," Ross suggested, tugging on her arm.

"Great idea, Ross! They'll gossip less about us when we go inside," Rachel said sarcastically.

"I think we're gonna go..." Phoebe tried.

"I don't care, Phoebe. You do whatever makes you happy," Rachel told her. She stormed inside then, and Ross followed her. Phoebe and Joey stood there shocked.

"She's really mad," Joey noted.

"Yea," Phoebe agreed. "I guess we should have just told everyone."

"No, no. We did nothing wrong, Phoebs. She'll get over it," Joey reassured her. He took her hand and pulled her along. "Let's go get some lunch, huh?"

"Okay."

 **A Week Later**

Chandler was all jumpy inside. He hadn't gotten a chance to be alone with Monica since he had attempted to talk to her about their almost kiss. Maybe it was a sign from the universe. He didn't know. He kept catching himself daydreaming about her, though, and he didn't know what it meant. Did he have feelings again? Did he want to tell her? It was like three years ago all over again. He got a call from Rachel that interrupted his thoughts.

"Hey," she said. "Are you busy?"

"No, why?"

"We just bought a couch, and we need a hand getting it to our apartment."

"Sure. I'll come."

"Thanks!"

Chandler wondered if Rachel knew he sucked at heavy lifting. If anyone, she should have called Joey, or even Monica, before him.

 **Phoebe & Monica **

Phoebe raced into Monica's apartment, panting.

"Hide me!" she shouted. Monica looked up from her book, puzzled.

"From what?"

A banging on her door interrupted Phoebe's answer. She flung herself onto the floor behind Monica's couch.

"What did you do?" Monica hissed. Phoebe lifted her head a little to answer.

"I found a police badge and was using it," she hissed back.

"Oh my God," Monica groaned.

"Police! Open up!" the voice outside the door called.

"Phoebe!" Monica cried.

"You'll do better in prison than me!" Phoebe argued. The man started banging again.

"Coming!" Monica shouted. She answered the door. "Hello?"

"Are you Phoebe Buffay?" he demanded. She quivered a little. He was really intimidating.

"Um, no?" she said. "But she's right over there behind the couch."

"MONICA!" Phoebe screeched, her head popping up. The officer came in a few steps, making Monica stumble backwards. Phoebe scrambled to her feet and came forward.

"All right, you can arrest me, but this won't stick! I have a very good lawyer," she said. "He'll make you look like a complete jackass!"

"Well, I don't like looking like a jackass," the cop mused. "Tell you what, how about I tell them I came by and you weren't here?"

"That would be perfect," Phoebe said, nodding vigorously.

"Okay. Since you're not going to jail tonight, would you have dinner with me? Ever since you flashed my badge at me, I can't stop thinking about you."

"Oh...oh..." Phoebe said, wringing her hands.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm...I'm kind of with someone," she answered.

"Oh, that's too bad," the cop said, looking a little down.

"I'll go," Monica said suddenly. Once he stopped being intimidating, he was kind of cute. He looked at her.

"Seriously?"

"Yea! Monica is a great date! She even puts out," Phoebe told him.

"Phoebe!"

"Well," the cop laughed. "I'll settle for just dinner, if that's okay."

"That's fine," Monica agreed, shooting Phoebe a look. She didn't see the harm in it. It was just one date. Chandler wasn't ready to date again anyway, and she felt it wouldn't be fair if she just let life pass her by while she waited. Besides, she always wanted to date a cop.

"I'm Gary," he said to Monica. "I'll pick you up in a few hours?"

"Okay," she smiled. Once he was gone, Phoebe grabbed her hands and jumped up and down with her. Then she stopped abruptly.

"What about Chandler?" she asked.

"It's one date," Monica dismissed. "I'm not in love with the guy, and I doubt it'll go farther than that. Plus, it's a free meal."

"He's a little bit yummy," Phoebe nodded.

"Not that kind of free meal," Monica said, exasperated.

"Right," Phoebe said coyly. Monica went to her room to find something to wear. She still couldn't get the thought of Chandler out of her mind. Then, all the thoughts came pouring in. He might not even like her back. He might never want to date again. It might not even work even if they did start dating. What was the harm of one date? She shook her head after a while. Chandler probably wouldn't even care anyway.

 **Chandler, Ross, & Rachel **

"Chandler?" Ross asked skeptically. "You called Chandler? The next best thing would be Monica."

"I'm sorry. I just figured he could do it," Rachel defended herself.

"He's totally right. Monica has me beat," Chandler told her, smirking. They were surveying the couch at the bottom of the stairs. "And why didn't you have it delivered again?"

"Don't even get him started," Rachel interrupted before Ross could open his mouth. "We've already had this fight."

"Anyway," Ross said, giving her a look. "I've drawn a diagram of how to do this."

"Well, don't you think a lot of yourself?" Chandler commented, looking at it.

"That's my arm!" Ross snapped, yanking the paper back. Rachel sniggered behind her hand.

"Let's just do this," Ross glared at them. Chandler flexed his arms and stretched his back before picking up his end. He could tell that Rachel barely had a hold of it, letting him and Ross take the brunt of the weight.

"PIVOT!" Ross starting shouting. "PIVOT! PIVOOOOOT!"

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UUUUUP!" Chandler roared back, letting his end down with a thud. Ross lost his end too as he couldn't hold it on his own. Rachel was examining her nails at the bottom of the stairs, her end in the air above her head.

"Okay, this isn't working," Ross said.

"You THINK?" Chandler commented.

"Let's just start again," Ross said, trying to move it. He only succeeded in making it settle onto the stairs further. It wouldn't budge.

"Funny it didn't work," Rachel mused. "You had a little drawing and everything."

"Oh, maybe it was because I didn't understand what pivot meant," Chandler threw in. They couldn't resist ribbing Ross. He was such an easy target.

"Maybe if you-" Ross started.

"Enough," Rachel stopped him. "Chandler, thank you for helping, but it appears we need professional help."

"Don't I know it," Chandler muttered. Rachel pretended not to hear that part. She pulled out her phone to call Monica, which she now realized she should have done in the first place.

"Oh, hey Phoebe," Rachel said. Things were still a little awkward between them. "Where's Monica? On a date?! Really?"

Chandler felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. Monica was on a date?!

"Okay, well, thanks anyway," Rachel finished, hanging up.

"Mon's on a date?" Ross asked, frowning. "I didn't know she was seeing anyone."

"She just met him today. A cop apparently. Oh well. Okay, I'm going to call the furniture store and hire the movers."

"No!" Ross shouted, leaping down the stairs and falling into a heap on the floor. Chandler knew where he wasn't needed. He stumbled his way home. He sat in his apartment and stared at the door. He heard her come home, heard the laughing, and he knew it was her date with her. Was he going to go inside? He went to the door and pressed his face against it, listening. He didn't go in. They said goodnight. When he heard Monica's door close, he made his decision. He yanked open his door and ran after the cop.

"Hey!" he shouted as he caught him. "Hey, you!"

"Yes?" Gary asked, confused.

"You went on a date with Monica," Chandler accused.

"I did..." Gary trailed off. "And?"

"Just...don't, okay? I...I really like her, like REALLY like her, but I haven't told her yet. I already lost her to a guy once before, and then that guy died so she wasn't ready to date, and then I was with someone else and was getting married, and then that girl dumped me at the altar...I have come to the conclusion that I should be with Monica, but I still didn't think she was ready since Richard died. Seeing her on a date with you has made me realize that perhaps she is ready. So please, just go away. Don't date her," Chandler finished in a rush. Gary stared at him, incredulous.

"Wow," he said, laughing. "You're crazy."

"Crazy about Monica, yes," Chandler nodded.

"Look, I don't think it's any of your business, but I will not be seeing Monica anymore," Gary said.

"Because of what I said?"

"No, and by the way, you should really work on that speech. I got lost in it," Gary snorted. "No, it's because we didn't click. She's lovely, but she's not my type. There will be no future dates."

"Okay," Chandler said, feeling dizzy and elated. "Okay. Good. That's g-g-good."

"Good night, weirdo," Gary said, going down the stairs again. Chandler went back to his apartment, grinning. Monica was still single. He had time to make his move. He was going to plan it just right. She'd be blown away. He just hoped she would say yes.

* * *

 **Bet I had a bunch of you scared Monica was going to start seeing Gary didn't I? Hehe I'm not that mean. Thanks for reading!**


	31. Chapter 31

**A Month and a Half Later**

Phoebe was sorting her mail when Joey came bursting into her apartment. He instantly grabbed her and kissed her hard, making her drop the mail she was holding.

"Oh, wow!" Phoebe said after. "Is it my birthday again? So soon?"

"I just talked to Estelle," Joey said, excited. He was vibrating so hard.

"Wait, let me guess," Phoebe said, putting her hand on his forehead. She gasped. "You got a lead in a movie?!"

"I GOT A LEAD IN A MOVIE!" Joey shouted at the same time, bouncing. Then he looked at her. "Wait, how did you know?"

"Oh, please," Phoebe dismissed. "I can't explain the psychic powers I have."

"You wanna know what it's about?" he asked, ignoring this.

"Sure!"

"Okay. It's called Shutter Speed, and it's about a couple who fall in love on a subway, but when I go to find her, this old lady answers and says Betsy has been dead for 10 years."

"I'm already hooked," Phoebe said encouragingly.

"And it's filmed in the desert of Vegas!" Joey cried. "I gotta call Chandler!"

"Wait, Chandler?" Phoebe asked.

"Yea. We've always wanted to do a road trip," Joey said.

"What about me?"

"Oh. Well, uh..."

"I'm just kidding," Phoebe snorted.

"Oh, thank God," Joey said, clutching his heart.

"Well, don't be mean about it," Phoebe chastised.

"Sorry. So, I can go with Chandler? You're okay with that?"

"Yes. You can use my grandmother's cab if you want."

"All right!" Joey fist pumped. He grabbed her phone to call Chandler. Phoebe just shook her head as he yelled and whooped to Chandler. She could hear Chandler's return whoops through the phone. She just shook her head, laughing.

 **Ross & Rachel **

"Sweetie, you gotta go in and get your eye looked at. It's starting to look like a scene from a movie involving the undead," Ross winced. Rachel looked at him, her eye flickering and blinking at him.

"What?" she asked.

"Seriously, it looks bad. You gotta get it looked at."

"Ross, I'm terrified of eye doctors. You know this!"

"I know, but your eye is starting to terrify me. I'll go with you. It'll be fine."

"If this goes badly, you're the one who's gonna be the undead," Rachel warned.

"All right," Ross agreed, taking her hand and walking out the door.

 **Monica**

She was folding laundry when Chandler burst into her apartment.

"Road trip, baby!" he shouted, pumping his fist.

"Road trip?" she asked, confused. She stopped folding midair.

"Joey got a part in a movie in Vegas! We're going down there together in Phoebe's cab."

"Oh, wow. Joey got a part in a movie?!" Monica asked. She was happy for him. He deserved a break in his career.

"Yea. Some chick flick," Chandler dismissed. "Hey, do you have that luggage wheelie thing?"

"Um, yea?"

"Can I borrow it? I don't want to take a bunch of shopping bags of clothes on the trip."

"It's in there," Monica said, pointing to her guest room. Chandler raced to get it. She laughed when he ran back out dragging it behind him. She hoped he would have a good time. She sighed as she one again thought about what it would be like to kiss him.

 **Ross**

"Ah!" Rachel yelped, leaping back before Dr. Miller finished the countdown.

"You want me to hold her head?" Ross asked, moving behind her.

"No, no, that's fine," Dr. Miller replied.

"I can do this," Rachel said. "One more try." She leaned into the contraption, and Dr. Miller tried again only for her to jump back as though electrocuted.

"You know what? You're young. I doubt you have glaucoma," Dr. Miller said.

"Yay!" Rachel exclaimed. Taking the opportunity, Dr. Miller shone a light in her eye.

"Hey, what are you doing?!" Rachel shrieked.

"You've got a small infection. Three drops a day and you should be good as new," Dr. Miller said.

"I don't put things in my eye," Rachel said.

"Well, then I'll see you in three months," Dr. Miller surmised.

"Okay!"

"For a glass eye fitting," Dr. Miller finished.

"Oh, just give me the damn drops!" Rachel growled, snatching them from him. She stormed out. Ross followed.

"It will make your eye better," he tried.

"Whose side are you on?" Rachel demanded.

"Your eye's," Ross replied.

"Oh ha ha," Rachel said sarcastically. She hated eye drops. She hated anything near her eyes. This was going to be hard.

 **A While Later**

"Oh my God!" Rachel screeched as Monica and Phoebe held her down while Ross put the drops in her eyes. "You suck! All of you suck!"

"You're welcome, sweetie," Ross said, getting up. Monica and Phoebe got up as well, leaving Rachel lying on the floor like a wounded victim.

"Have you heard from Joey yet?" Monica asked. She really wanted to know about Chandler, but she left him out of it.

"Not yet," Phoebe answered. "That means they're having fun."

"Sure," Monica agreed.

"I wish they'd invited me," Ross grumbled. "I'm a guy too."

Monica's phone rang then, and she answered.

"Hey, Mon?"

"Chandler?" she asked.

"Yea. Um, can you come get me?"

"What? Where?"

"The George Washington Bridge."

"What?!"

"I'm borrowing some guy's phone. Can you please come get me?"

"I'll be right there."

"What's going on?" Ross asked when Monica hung up.

"No idea. Be back soon!" she called, shutting the door behind her hard. Ross and Phoebe looked at Rachel, who was still on the floor.

"Are we done with the drops now?" she asked.

"No," Ross snorted. She sighed in response.

 **Monica & Chandler **

She found Chandler on the side of the road just past the bridge. She wasn't sure why he hadn't just called for a cab himself instead of asking her to come, but she didn't waste time thinking about it. She told the driver to stop, and Chandler got in.

"What happened?" she asked when he shut the door. They started to drive, and she waited for his reply.

"I stupidly told him this wasn't his big break," Chandler sighed.

"You what?" Monica asked.

"He was playing this stupid game where you say the first thing on your mind in response to something, and I said no, this movie wasn't his big break. Twice."

"Oh, Chandler."

"Yea, he's super pissed at me."

Monica bit her lip as he bent his head back and sighed in frustration.

"So what now?"

"Well, he's off on his own. I doubt he'll talk to me for a while. I guess I just wait it out."

Monica patted his leg, and they both looked down at her hand. She pulled it back, flushing.

"I'm sure he'll forgive you. I mean, he's Joey."

Chandler just nodded. Monica felt her hand burning from where she'd touched him. This entire crush situation was driving her insane.

 **A Week Later**

"Phoebe, you gotta let me talk to him," Chandler said when Joey hung up again before he could get there.

"I'm sorry, Chandler. He's pretty upset with you still," Phoebe said. She had an inkling that there was something else wrong, but she couldn't put her finger on what exactly. She also missed Joey like crazy.

"Ugh. What do I have to do? Go down there and apologize in person?" Chandler asked.

"Yea!" Phoebe exclaimed enthusiastically, making Chandler jump back a little.

"Okay," he said.

"We'll all go!" she crowed. "Yes! It'll be fun!"

"What'll be fun?" Monica asked, coming into her apartment then. She was confused as to why Phoebe was hanging out there all the time, but she figured it had to do something with Joey being gone. She spent a lot of time with the birds, much to Monica's dismay. She hated those creatures crawling all over her clean floors.

"We're going to Vegas!" Phoebe screeched. Chandler wiggled a finger in his ear.

"I don't think the dogs down the street heard you," he commented. Phoebe didn't care. She bolted out and off to her apartment to pack.

"So, going to apologize in person, huh?" Monica asked.

"I guess so since he's not answering me," Chandler answered.

"All right. I'll go," Monica caved. "It should be fun."

"We better pack before Phoebe comes and does it for us," Chandler said, going back to his apartment. Monica hurried to grab her luggage. She was excited to go on a trip with Chandler. Vegas was exciting as well. Anything could happen.

 **Ross & Rachel **

"Can you believe those guys?" Ross asked. Rachel looked up from her magazine. Her eye was completely healed by now, no thanks to everyone tackling her every couple of hours to give her the drops. Dr. Miller had been impressed when she came back with it cleared up.

"What?" she asked.

"They went to Vegas and didn't tell us," Ross complained. He sank onto the couch feeling desolate.

"Aw, honey, do you wanna go to Vegas?" Rachel asked.

"Yes! I wanna gamble some money, see some shows...do Vegas stuff, you know?"

"We can go," Rachel nodded. "Why not?"

"Really?"

"Sure! It'll be fun. It's the weekend. Let's go to Vegas," she smiled.

"Yes!" Ross fist pumped. He ran to pack. Rachel joined him after a while because she knew he'd only pack her underwear and lingerie, and she wanted to have some decent clothes to wear aside from that.

 **Vegas**

Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica walked to the hotel they were going to be staying in when they saw Joey posing with a couple for a photo. He was dressed as a gladiator.

"Oh my," Monica said.

"Joey?" Phoebe asked. Joey caught sight of them and instinctively ducked, shielding his face with his arms. Phoebe marched over to him.

"Uh oh," Chandler said, recognizing her angry gait.

"Joseph Francis Tribbiani!" she shouted.

"Oohh she middle named him," Monica cringed. They watched, worried for Joey.

"Phoebe," Joey said. She stood in front of him with her hands on her hips.

"What are you doing?! Did you decide to just start a new career and never come home? Did you meet someone else? Are you lying to me?!" Phoebe demanded.

"Whoa, whoa," Joey said, holding his hands up. "I am not doing any of those things."

"Then why are you dressed as a gladiator and posing for photos instead of being a lead in a movie?!" Phoebe asked.

"They shut down the movie," Joey answered sadly. "They don't have the money. They said to hang around for a bit to wait and see if it would be brought back."

"Oh, Joey," Phoebe said. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I was ashamed," Joey replied. "Chandler was right. This was not my big break."

"Hey, don't pin this on me," Chandler said, holding up his hands.

"I'm not mad anymore," Joey told him. "It was stupid to get excited."

"No, it wasn't," Chandler reassured him. "You had every right to be excited. I shouldn't have been such a downer."

"Well, you were right..."

"Oh, stop," Monica cut in. "Joey, you could have told us."

"I know," Joey nodded, hanging his head.

"Look, we'll go check in. You two talk," Monica said, herding Chandler away. She looked back to see Phoebe and Joey hugging. She was glad Phoebe didn't stay mad at Joey.

 **Later**

"Ugh, Joey is driving me nuts with the whole identical hand twin nonsense," Phoebe grumbled, sitting down beside Monica and Chandler at the bar.

"He'll get it out of his system," Monica assured her.

"Hey, you guys," Ross said, coming into view with Rachel.

"Oh, hey!" Monica cried. "Oh...right."

"Yea. Thanks for telling us you were coming here," Ross said, hurt.

"I meant to. We just...we were excited," Monica told him, wincing.

"We're here now," Rachel said, ordering a drink.

"I'm gonna put some money down," Ross said, giving her a kiss before going off to gamble.

"I need to find Joey before he gets arrested for harassment," Phoebe said. Rachel took her drink and followed after Ross, leaving Monica and Chandler alone once more.

"So," Chandler said.

"So," she nodded.

"Drink?" he asked.

"Sure," she answered. It might help her nerves. Tonight she was going to tell him how she felt.

 **Joey & Phoebe **

Phoebe found Joey by himself sitting in a lounge area. He looked down.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey," he responded.

"It didn't work out?"

"No."

"I'm sorry."

"I feel like such a loser, Phoebe," Joey sighed. She took his hand in hers, making him look at her.

"You are not a loser, Joey," she told him. "If you're a loser, then I am too, so we're both losers in love."

"You are definitely not a loser," he argued.

"Then neither are you."

"I just...I want something to go right for my career, and nothing is. I feel like my life is going nowhere."

Phoebe played with his fingers in hers, and she got an idea.

"Hey, Joey?"

"Yea?"

"Let's get married."

"Um...what?" he asked, stunned.

"Yea? Why not? We've been dating for a while now. Let's get married!" she said, getting excited. Joey soon caught her excitement.

"Yea!" he agreed, jumping up. "Let's do it!"

"Okay, wait. We should get the stuff on the list," Phoebe said.

"What list?"

"You know, something blue, borrowed, old," she listed.

"Oh, right. Hey, I have a condom I got at 16," Joey said, reaching for his wallet.

"I don't need to see it. I believe you," she said, stopping him. "Okay, so blue and borrowed." They started walking around, spying a clothing store. Joey picked up a blue sweater.

"Here," he said. "Put it under your shirt."

"What?" Phoebe asked.

"We'll bring it back," he urged.

"Good thinking," Phoebe said, tucking it up under her shirt. She looked down at her "baby bump."

"Aww," Joey said, seeing it.

"One thing at a time," Phoebe warned. He took her hand then, and they went to find a chapel. Joey had to admit he was very nervous but also excited. Marrying Phoebe meant he was moving forward in his life, and he loved it.

 **Ross & Rachel **

"Hey, Rach?" Ross said when she came out of the shower.

"Yea?"

"Phoebe called up and asked us to come down to the chapel."

"For what?"

"I dunno. I think we should go."

"Just give me a second," Rachel said, searching for her good dress. She quickly got dressed and put on some makeup. Ross was anxious by the door.

"You don't think Phoebe and Joey are getting married do you?" he asked.

"I could see her doing that. Joey too," Rachel answered. "They've been dating a while."

"Huh. I guess," Ross agreed. They hurried down there, and they found a shell shocked Joey and Phoebe standing by the entrance of the chapel.

"Oh my God, are you guys getting married?!" Rachel cried, hugging Phoebe.

"We...we were," she started.

"But we changed our minds," Joey said quickly.

"How come?" Ross asked.

"It just feels so...cheesy now," Phoebe replied. Ross and Rachel stood there feeling confused. Then they heard it. Everyone turned their heads to see Monica and Chandler coming out of the chapel stumbling and laughing. Chandler had "Mr. Geller" written on his forehead, and Monica was holding flowers.

"Oh my God," Ross said. Rachel covered her mouth with her hands.

"Yea," Phoebe agreed. "That's what we said."

"Wait, you didn't stop them?!" Ross exclaimed.

"It was already over when we got there. I don't know why they were so long coming out of there," Phoebe said. They all stared as Monica and Chandler disappeared into the crowd. No one knew what to say next.

* * *

 **Ahhh cliffhanger. So sorry. I'm sure you guys saw that coming. If not, then surprise! I will explore what happened between those two in the next chapter. I have a plan for what's going to happen next, so no guessing lol. Thanks for reading!**


	32. Chapter 32

**I know. I'm just as shocked as you are at this quick update. To the guest who asked me the question regarding roschel, you should have waited one more chapter lol. Don't get ahead of me guys ;)**

* * *

Chandler opened his eyes and immediately felt the headache.

"Ohhh God," he groaned. He sat up and realized he wasn't alone. There was a lump in the bed beside him. He froze, wondering what had happened the night before and who was in the bed with him. When the figure shifted, his eyes started to pop out.

"What the hell?" Monica asked, emerging. Chandler was relieved to see she had clothes on. He did as well.

"H-hey, hey," he said.

"Oh my God," Monica said back. She squinted at his face. Then her eyes went wide.

"What?" he asked.

"Mr. Geller?" she said, pointing. He got up and went to the mirror.

"Oh, no," he panicked.

"What did we do last night?" Monica asked. She wracked her brain, but she couldn't remember anything.

"I think...I-I think," Chandler started, turning to face her. "We got married."

"WHAT?!"

"Just hear me out," Chandler said, holding his head, which was pounding even harder now. "I remember us drinking and laughing. I remember thinking of doing something funny, and you said getting married."

"Oh no," Monica moaned.

"I think I said it would be even funnier if I took your last name," Chandler finished. He pointed to his head. "Hence the Mr. Geller written on my face."

"This is bad," Monica said, getting up. "This is really bad."

"At least we didn't have sex," Chandler pointed out. She looked down then, seeing she was dressed.

"I guess so," she agreed.

"Okay, we can fix this," Chandler said. "When we get back to New York, we get an annulment."

"Okay," Monica agreed. She felt numb. She had married Chandler. What was wrong with her?!

"Yea," Chandler said, running his hand through his hair. "This...this hasn't ruined our friendship has it?"

"No," she shook her head quickly. "We just got too drunk and got married. Lots of friends do that."

"Sure," Chandler agreed. Monica gripped her head in her hands. Had she said anything to him last night about her feelings? She had planned to. Was that another reason they got married?

"Do you remember anything we talked about aside from that?" she asked. She had to know.

"I don't," he shook his head.

"Okay."

So nothing was revealed. She nodded to herself. She could come back from this. They would be all right.

 **Breakfast**

Ross and Rachel watched as Monica and Chandler came to join them. Chandler had the "Mr. Geller" gone from his head. Joey and Phoebe watched as well. Everyone was nervous for what was about to happen next.

"Hey, guys," Monica said cheerily. She paused when she noticed all their faces. Chandler sat down like nothing was wrong. She saw Ross give him a look of disbelief.

"You, uh, wanna tell us what happened last night?" Rachel asked. Her annoyance towards Joey and Phoebe's secret relationship was long gone now. This was more important.

"What happened last night?" Monica asked innocently.

"Don't play stupid," Ross said, shaking his finger at her. "We saw you!"

"Saw us where?" Chandler asked.

"At the chapel!" Ross shrieked. Both Monica and Chandler looked at each other before looking back at the others.

"Oh, that," Monica shrugged. "That was nothing."

"Nothing?!" Ross asked. He was about to explode.

"We got drunk and got married. It's nothing. We'll get an annulment back home," Chandler said.

"So...so...let me get this straight," Ross said, holding his head. "You got drunk."

"Yes," they both nodded.

"You got married?"

"Uh huh," they nodded again.

"And you're totally all right with it?!"

"Well, we're undoing it," Chandler said. "It was a drunk thing. It didn't mean anything."

"No, it didn't," Monica threw in quickly.

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked her. Monica avoided the question but gave her a look in return. Chandler caught the exchange, though, and he felt his heart pick up. Did Monica have feelings for him again too?!

"Wow, so you guys are married right now," Phoebe said finally. Joey was too busy eating to contribute to the conversation. After hearing they were fine and getting an annulment, he decided it was okay to eat.

"Yup. Hey, wifey," Chandler said. "Can you get me some bacon?"

"Get it yourself," Monica answered.

"Yup, totally married," Chandler commented, getting up and going to get his own. Ross followed. Rachel leaned in to Monica when they were out of earshot.

"So, you're really fine with being married to the guy you have a huge crush on?" she asked.

"It was a stupid drunk mistake," Monica dismissed. "He has no idea."

"I thought you were going to tell him?" Phoebe asked, remembering Monica's conversation the night before where she'd told Phoebe she was going to tell him.

"I may have, but he doesn't remember. Look, it's perfect. We can start over, and now I know he's not afraid to commit," Monica joked. The sad look on Phoebe and Rachel's faces stopped her short.

"Come on, guys. It's fine," Monica insisted.

"Ross, it's fine," Chandler said, coming back to the table with a huffing, puffing Ross behind him. Monica watched him start to eat. In her heart, she knew she wasn't completely fine. She kind of wanted to stay married to him, but she knew the idea was ridiculous.

 **Back in New York**

Phoebe helped Joey carry up his bags to his apartment. Once inside, she set them down. Chandler and Monica had agreed to drive the cab back. Ross had been weird about them being alone in the cab together, but Rachel had calmed him down. Phoebe knew that Monica and Chandler needed to talk about their feelings, and being in a car sometimes helped with that, so that was why she offered them the cab.

"I hate to leave you," Phoebe said. "I mean, we almost got married."

"I know. Should we talk about that?" Joey asked. "Are we really ready for that?"

"I don't know. Are we?" Phoebe countered. They looked at each other.

"What if...what if we lived together?" Joey suggested.

"Oohh I love it," Phoebe gushed. She looked around the apartment. "What would Chandler think, though?"

"I was thinking I'd move in with you," Joey said.

"Oh! That's even better. Oh, but Denise," Phoebe said.

"Denise?"

"My roommate."

"You have a roommate?"

"Yes, Denise!"

"Are you sure? I've never seen her," Joey said, frowning.

"I talk about her all the time," Phoebe said, exasperated. "She works nights, so you haven't met her."

"Oh."

"It's okay. I can ask her to move out."

"So, are we doing this?" Joey asked.

"I think we are," Phoebe smiled. He leaned in to kiss her hungrily then. He was moving in with Phoebe. It was a big step for him, and he knew what it was eventually going to lead to. He was all right with this, though. It was a start.

 **Ross & Rachel **

"Ross, you need to calm down," Rachel said. They were back at their apartment, and she was trying to unpack while he ranted about Monica and Chandler's stupid decision.

"I can't calm down. My sister got married in Vegas!" Ross exploded.

"I know! And it's so shocking, but you have to stop freaking out about it. They are getting it annulled."

"They still did it, though."

"While they were drunk. Ross, I bet if you and I were that drunk and single, we'd have made the same mistake too," Rachel pointed out.

"I like to think I'm smarter than that," Ross said pompously.

"I bet if I had suggested it, you'd have gone along with it," Rachel countered.

"Well, it doesn't matter cos we are already married, and we did it sober," Ross said. "Monica was irresponsible."

"Monica was drunk. Ross, how many times do I have to say it?" Rachel asked, exasperated.

"I will get over it. I just have to process it," Ross said, sitting down finally.

"Everything will go back to normal once they get it annulled," Rachel assured him.

"Will it? Will it?!" Ross said. He started a breathing exercise then because he was getting out of control. Rachel went over and rubbed his back.

"Yes, Ross, it will," she promised. Then she prayed that she was right.

 **Chandler & Monica **

Chandler kept looking over at Monica as she drove. He was married to her. She was technically his wife. This was a strange feeling for him.

"What?" she asked, catching him looking at her.

"Nothing. I just...this is weird, you know?" he finished.

"I know."

Chandler fiddled with his fingers nervously.

"Is it...is it crazy to want to stay married to you?" he finally said. It had been on his mind all day. Monica hit the brakes before remembering she was on the freeway. Chandler's head went forward then backward as she hit the gas again.

"W-what?" she asked.

"It was stupid. So stupid. I'm sorry I even said it," Chandler said, recovering.

"It is such a crazy idea," Monica said. "No, no I don't think we should." Her mind was racing. He wanted to stay married too?! So did she! But it was crazy. They needed to date first to see if it would even work.

"You're right," he agreed. "Yea, you're right. So crazy. Forget I even said it."

"Oh, it's forgotten," Monica laughed nervously. They didn't say much else for the remainder of the trip.

 **A Few Days Later**

Chandler was sitting in front of the lawyer and sweating. He wasn't sure why. He had a legit reason to be there. He wasn't a criminal. He was handed some forms, and he was told to get Monica to sign them as well. He walked out of there feeling a bit strange. He was annulling a marriage to Monica. He had never imagined that he would be doing that. He got back to his apartment to see Joey packing boxes.

Oh yea, and his best friend was moving out. That one had been shocking, but he should have expected that. It still hurt to see him leave. It almost hurt more than the first time he'd left.

"Well?" Joey asked, seeing him.

"Just need her signature," Chandler said, shaking the papers. He felt like such an idiot. He hadn't wanted this. How had this even happened?

"I'm sorry, man," Joey said sympathetically.

"Don't get drunk in Vegas," Chandler told him. "It's that simple."

Joey watched his friend set the papers down and go into his room. Within moments, Monica was there.

"Hey, did Chandler get back yet?" she asked. He nodded. She spied the papers on the counter.

"Oh," she said. "Is that...?"

"Yea," Joey nodded again.

"Okay," she breathed. She went over and picked them up. Chandler came out of his room having heard her voice.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," she replied. Joey suddenly felt very awkward, so he slipped out the door and went into Monica's apartment. He started foraging for snacks.

"So, this is it," Chandler laughed nervously.

"It is," she nodded. She picked up a pen and looked for the place to sign.

"You sure you wanna sign it?" Chandler asked. She looked up at him.

"Chandler, getting married before even dating is not a good idea," she said again. "We've gone over this."

"I know. I just feel bad about the whole thing, like we could make it work."

"What, stay married and try dating?" she asked, chuckling. "That is not a smart idea."

"Right," he laughed. Monica felt a weird tension between them then.

"Okay, so I'm signing," she said, doing so. Chandler watched her perfect signature. Even her writing was beautiful. He cleared his throat when she handed it to him.

"Thanks," he said.

"Thank you," she said back. They stood there awkwardly for a moment.

"So," Chandler said. "This is it."

"Yup," she nodded. When he didn't say anything else, she walked out of the apartment. She felt like crying. It felt as though something between them had died, but she didn't even know what it was. She spent the night in her apartment feeling very sad.

 **A Few Weeks Later**

Chandler was staring at his new roommate, and he had no idea what he'd gotten himself into. Janine was stunning, and a dancer. He was watching her stretching in this current moment, and he wondered what exactly was going to happen here.

"Hey, man," Joey said, coming in. He halted in his tracks, eyes widening.

"Hi, Joey," Janine smiled, standing up now.

"Y-yea...h-i-ey," Joey finished. Janine went into her bedroom and closed the door. Joey gripped at his face, feeling very hot suddenly.

"Dude," Chandler said.

"She makes me not think of words right," Joey managed to say.

"Clearly," Chandler laughed.

"She's got you acting all girly too," Joey noticed, looking around.

"What are you saying?" Chandler asked, offended.

"Take a look at this place," Joey said. "You wouldn't even know a guy was living here."

"Her stuff smells pretty," Chandler shrugged. Joey stared at him.

"Anyway," Joey said, clearing his throat.

"How are things with Phoebe?" Chandler asked.

"Great. Yea. She won't let me say the most words on the answering machine message, though," Joey lamented.

"That's too bad?" Chandler said as a question.

"There's this other thing," Joey started. They both paused when Janine came back out and went to the bathroom.

"You were saying?" Chandler prompted after she was gone again.

"Phoebe and I started running. You know, couple stuff," Joey said.

"Of course."

"And...well, she runs kinda funny," Joey winced.

"Funny ha ha or funny weird?" Chandler questioned.

"She looks like Kermit the Frog mixed with The Six Million Dollar Man," Joey said.

"So funny ha ha," Chandler clarified.

"This is bad, Chandler. I don't know how to tell her," Joey lamented. "We don't fight. That's our thing. We get along about everything."

"So don't tell her," Chandler suggested.

"But she loves doing it, and I don't want to run with her when she looks like she's running for her life," Joey said. "People are gonna think she's trying to get away from me. I might get arrested!"

"Joey, relax. Just talk to her," Chandler suggested. Janine resurfaced again, making them stop talking.

"I'm just going to go out for a bit," she smiled, grabbing her purse.

"Oho-kay," Chandler managed to choke out. Joey just waved at her. When she was gone, he looked back at Chandler.

"You can't date your roommate," he warned.

"I know this," Chandler nodded.

"What about Monica?" Joey asked. Chandler stared at him.

"What about her?"

"Dude, we all know you like her."

"Everyone knows now? Oh, God," Chandler moaned.

"We know it was hard after your marriage, annulment thing, but you should ask her out."

"I'll think about it," Chandler said. He didn't even know if she felt the same way about him. She had been avoiding him since the whole annulment thing.

"Chandler..." Joey warned.

"Soon. Very soon," Chandler promised. Joey left, pointing a finger at him as he closed the door behind him. Chandler exhaled loudly. He would talk to Monica. He would. It was time to finally know what was happening between them.

 **Phoebe**

"Ugh, Joey is so military when he runs," Phoebe complained to Rachel, who was sitting stock still on the couch beside her. Phoebe was oblivious to this.

"So tell him," Rachel advised. She felt nauseous suddenly, like she had been on a roller coaster.

"I'm afraid to. We don't fight," Phoebe said. Rachel looked over at her finally.

"How would it start a fight?" she asked.

"I don't know. It would just be my luck, you know?"

"No, I don't know," Rachel answered. "I have to go, Phoebs. Just talk to him, okay?" She got up carefully. Phoebe finally noticed her expression.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I just have bad cramps," Rachel lied. She hurried away. Phoebe didn't think anything of it. Joey came in after a bit, and he paused before approaching her. He sat down beside her and gave her a kiss.

"I don't like the way you run," they both said at the same time.

"You don't?" Phoebe asked, surprised. Joey also looked surprised.

"No," he confessed. "I'm sorry. You look like you're trying to flee from me, like I'm trying to murder you or something."

"Well you sound like a train that doesn't think it can get up the hill," Phoebe retorted.

"Is this our first fight?" Joey asked, wincing. Phoebe took in a breath and exhaled.

"No," she shook her head. "So we run differently. That shouldn't be something to fight over."

"Can we do some other activity that doesn't involve running?" Joey asked hopefully.

"I think that's a good idea," Phoebe nodded. They both looked relieved then.

"I'm glad we can talk," Joey said. Phoebe smiled at him.

"Of course we can talk. We can always talk."

"Good. I also don't like how you took all the words on the machine greeting," Joey blurted out.

"Aww," Phoebe patted his leg. "You can have some words."

"Really?"

"Yea. Let's go do that," Phoebe said. She stood and took his hand, pulling him along. Living together was going so well she thought. Denise had been furious as hell to be kicked out, but Phoebe knew she landed on her feet. She had heard that through a mutual friend anyway. She didn't exactly care. She wanted to be with Joey, and she had a good feeling this was going to work out.

 **Ross & Rachel **

"Hey, Rach?" Ross's voice sounded. Rachel froze in the bathroom. She was staring at the stick that was sitting on the counter. She couldn't bring herself to look at it yet. He knocked on the door.

"Rach, you in there?"

"Uh huh," she replied.

"Can I come in?"

Rachel sighed, getting up to let him in. This would be a big change in their lives, but a small part of her felt scared. She tried not to think about the last time she had been pregnant or how it had ended. She didn't want to lose anymore babies.

"You okay?" he asked, seeing her face. Then he saw the stick on the counter. "Oh."

"Yea," she said.

"Have you...?"

"Not yet."

"You wanna?"

"You look," Rachel said. Ross knew she was having conflicted thoughts. He took her hands in his gently.

"Rach, this will be very different from your first time, okay? I love you, and we are in this together. You won't lose this one."

"How do you know?" Rachel asked.

"I just have a feeling," Ross answered.

"Just look at it," she ordered. He did as he was told. She watched his face, but it stayed neutral.

"Well?" she prompted.

"It's negative," he said. Rachel sat there feeling shocked.

"Are you sure?" she asked. He nodded.

"Yea."

"Oh. I...I guess that's okay. I mean, I was so sure," she said. "The more I got thinking about it, the more I liked the idea of having a little baby running around looking like us." She looked up to see Ross smiling then. "What?"

"You really feel that way?" he asked.

"Well, yea," she nodded.

"That's good then, cos you're pregnant," he smiled.

"What?!" she exclaimed, standing up and taking it from him. It was true. She was pregnant. "Ross!"

"I know you didn't know how to feel about it, so this helped you figure it out," Ross grinned.

"That's a sneaky little game," Rachel said, swatting him. He pulled her into a kiss then.

"We're having a baby," Ross smiled.

"We're having a baby!" Rachel laughed. They hugged and spun around in circles. It was life changing indeed, but they were ready for it.

* * *

 **This was more of a Phoebe/Joey and Ross/Rachel chapter. I will get back to Mondler in the next chapter. Thank you all for reading!**


	33. Chapter 33

**Mondler2017: I'm sorry you didn't like my last chapter and that it literally broke your heart. A good author evokes emotion from the readers whether it's happy, sad, mad, etc. feelings, so this means I am doing my job, which I'm glad to hear. To answer your comment about me imitating Ross and Rachel with Monica and Chandler: No, I am not mimicking Ross and Rachel's romance with Monica and Chandler's. Monica and Chandler haven't even dated yet. There was no "break," and the two of them aren't really aware of each others' feelings in this story nor are they trying to make the other jealous by being in a relationship with someone else. Thank you for your review.**

 **Thank you to everyone else who reviewed and liked the last chapter. I appreciate your support a lot, especially with the personal stress I've been under the past three weeks. It's why I haven't been writing as much (or eating, sleeping...you know, the works lol) for my more "cheerful" stories. It's hard to write happy/funny stuff when I'm not feeling it. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter too :)**

* * *

 **Thanksgiving**

Monica was in a fluster. Her parents were there for Thanksgiving Dinner, and of course her mother had already flown through the comments of her being single, her job, her hair, her nails, etc., etc. Monica was fed up.

"Whoa," Joey said when she slammed down the turkey onto the counter. "You okay, Mon?"

"Who, me? Yea, I'm fine," she snapped. Joey's eyes widened, and he searched her forehead. Then, he swallowed hard. He got up from the chair and ran over to Phoebe. Monica rubbed the sweat off her forehead, wondering what it was that made him run away so fast.

"Can I help?" Chandler asked, coming up next to her. Monica turned to look at him. Ever since Janine moved in with him, she felt angry. Chandler wasn't going out with the woman, but Monica still felt like it was a betrayal to their relationship, which technically didn't even exist yet. She didn't know if it ever would. She was too afraid to bring it up, and she wished she wasn't so scared.

Chandler looked back at her knowing he should have talked to her sooner about everything, but he had chickened out as well. He didn't know where things would go. He didn't want to lose their friendship, but he also didn't want to leave it like this either. He figured he would pick the right moment, and it just hadn't presented itself yet.

"Not if you can somehow take my mother far, far away," Monica answered finally. Chandler smirked.

"I know. She isn't really fond of me."

"She's not?"

"No. I don't know why," Chandler mused. They both looked over at Judy sitting on the couch beside Jack. She was examining the back of Monica's pillows, making Monica grunt in frustration.

"She thinks I live like a slob in secret," she growled.

"It's outrageous. I watched you hand wash all those pillows too," Chandler commented.

"So how's Janine," Monica said, changing the subject. She hated the woman's name really.

"Hm? Oh, great. She invited me to join her and her friends uptown for Thanksgiving."

"And you came here instead?" Monica asked, surprised.

"Well, it's not Thanksgiving without a little bit of Geller drama of some sort," Chandler winked. She jabbed him with her elbow in return.

"Thanks," she said sarcastically. Then she noticed what was going on with the stove. "Hey, Rach? Your dessert is on the fritz."

"Ah! Sorry," Rachel cried, coming over. Monica wondered what the hell she was even making. It looked weird. After a little more preparation, dinner was ready.

"No cranberries?" Judy asked, sitting down. Monica groaned inwardly. She knew she had forgotten something.

"Right here," Chandler replied, pulling them out of the fridge. Monica gawked. Where had they even come from? Chandler winked at her as he set them on the table right in front of Judy. Monica blushed a little.

"Smells good, Mon," Ross smiled at her. Monica noticed he and Rachel kept giving each other secret looks all evening. Something was up. She could tell.

 **After Dinner**

"Okay," Rachel said, setting down the dessert onto the table. She was quite proud of it. Some of the things seemed odd to put in the trifle, but her pregnancy was making her crave some weird combinations anyway. She found the potato/custard mix to be not too shabby. Even the jam and the beef was tolerable. She looked around at everyone's faces, and she knew she had done something wrong.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Nothing," Ross answered instantly, jumping up. He started cutting it up and serving it. "Looks great, honey."

"Excuse me," Rachel said, rushing to the bathroom. Ross knew she was going to be sick. The morning sickness was hanging on still. She was a little over six weeks pregnant.

"What the hell is this thing?" Joey asked. Phoebe got up and examined the cookbook.

"Oh no," she said, holding it up. "The pages were stuck together. We have a Shepple Pie."

"A what?" Monica asked, confused.

"Oh, I put together Shepherd's Pie and Trifle," Phoebe said grinning.

"I like it," Joey said. "Shepple Pie."

"Just pretend to like it, okay? She worked really hard on it, and I don't want to make her feel bad," Ross ordered everyone.

"Sorry about that," Rachel said, returning. She looked a little pale. Ross noticed Monica watching her. Their plan was to announce the pregnancy to everyone after dinner. He hoped his sister wouldn't give it away before they did.

"So, Rach, does this have meat in it?" Phoebe asked.

"Yea," Rachel answered.

"Shoot. I can't have any. I don't eat meat," Phoebe said, giving the others a smug look. Ross glared back at her. He wasn't looking forward to this at all, but she wasn't helping.

"Oh, that's okay," Rachel smiled. Once everyone had the dessert in front of them, she watched expectantly. Ross caved and had the first bite.

"Oh my God," he said, hiding his grimace. "This is so good!"

"Mmmmmm," Monica chimed in. Ross could tell she was about to throw it back up from the face she was making.

"Oh, wow," Chandler commented. "This is so good...I have to share it with the world." Rachel watched confused as he went to the balcony.

"I'm gonna call my friend Mary and tell her how amazing this is from Monica's room," Judy said, getting up and hurrying away.

"I'll hold the phone for you," Jack said, rushing after her.

"I gotta go to the bathroom and watch myself eat this in the mirror," Monica said, leaving. Phoebe sat there smirking as Joey shoveled it all into his mouth with no breaks for breathing.

"You're so sexy when you eat," she told him. Joey flashed a grin back at her between bites.

"Why is everyone leaving the table? Is it that bad?" Rachel asked, reaching for Ross's plate.

"No! Ah uh!" he shouted, cramming the last bit into his mouth until his cheeks were full.

"Ross," Rachel started.

"Chandler probably has some left," Ross said with his mouth full. She went out to join him while Ross rushed to the garbage and spat it all out.

"Nice," Phoebe laughed.

"Oh, God," Ross choked. "It tasted like dirty socks!"

"I liked it," Joey said.

"How could you like that?"

"What's not to like? Jam? Good. Custard? Good. Potatoes? Good. Beef. Goood," Joey finished. He went in pursuit of the other people's plates.

"So, you used my dessert as a shield from a bird by throwing it at it?" Rachel asked, returning with Chandler.

"It was going for my eyes!" Chandler exclaimed. "I had to defend myself!"

"Mon?" Rachel asked when Monica emerged from the bathroom.

"Yea?"

"Was it really that bad?"

"No, sweetie, it was fine," Monica lied. She hurried to her room to prevent her mother from further snooping when she overheard Judy and Jack talking about Chandler.

"I don't see why they let him hang out with them if he enjoys getting high," Judy was saying.

"Excuse me?" Monica asked, confused.

"Oh," Judy said, covering her mouth.

"Chandler does not do drugs," Monica defended.

"That's not what Ross said," Jack shrugged. Monica turned and charged to Ross.

"Uh oh," Ross said, seeing her coming. He flinched when she whipped out her finger into his face.

"You told Mom and Dad that Chandler does drugs?" she asked.

"No," he answered, unsure.

"You know, he said they didn't like him and were acting weird around him all night. This is why!" she cried, jabbing Ross's chest vigorously. "Fix it!"

"I can't," Ross said.

"Why not?"

"Cos then they'll know I was the one who got high."

"So?"

"I'm Ross," he answered. "I don't do that sort of thing."

"Oh please," Monica snapped. "Tell them or I will." Judy and Jack returned to the living room at this point, and they were watching Monica and Ross arguing.

"I can't," Ross said.

"Ross does drugs!" Monica shouted, turning to face their parents. Their eyes widened.

"What?" Judy asked.

"Not Chandler. Ross," Monica added.

"Is it true?" Jack asked him.

"It was in college, and it was only two times!" Ross exclaimed. "I was coerced into doing it!"

"Oh, Ross," Judy said, shaking her head. Monica had to admit that it felt good to see Ross get taken down a little bit.

"He also stole your playboys, Dad, not the mailman you fired," Monica chimed in. Ross glared at her.

"Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing, Monica did!" he shouted.

"Hey!" Monica cried. "Ross was the one who borrowed your dresses, Mom!"

"Monica lost Chichi once!"

"Ross borrowed Dad's car for a date in high school!"

"Nice try," Ross said. "Like they'd believe that. I didn't date in high school."

"Then where did you go with the car?" Jack asked, incredulous.

"I'd rather not say," Ross answered, shifting awkwardly. They all got shouting then, and Ross was about ready to shout that Monica had married Chandler when Rachel stood on the kitchen chair and shrieked loudly.

"STOOOOOP!"

They all turned to face her. She glared at them all.

"Enough!" she cried. "You're all acting crazy! If anyone is going to act crazy, it's gonna be me. I'm pregnant!"

There was a stunned silence in the room then until everyone erupted at once with "congratulations," "we love yous," and "why didn't you say so earlier?"

"So, I just want to clarify that I don't do drugs," Chandler said to Jack and Judy while the others were still hugging Rachel.

"We're sorry we believed it," Jack said, shaking his hand. "You seem like a nice guy."

"I'm gonna be a grandmother!" Judy cried, hugging Ross tightly.

"You already are a grandmother," Ross replied.

"I am?"

"Ben!" Ross cried. He hadn't seen much of his son lately with Carol and Susan traveling so much. He had the odd weekend visit, but that was all. He was thinking of asking for joint custody soon.

"Oh, right. Ben," Judy nodded. She hugged him again. Monica sighed in relief. The attention had been taken off of her for a little bit. It was nice. The door opened then, and Janine stuck her head in.

"Chandler? My friends decided to hang out in the apartment after all. You wanna come hang with us?" she asked. Monica cringed inside.

"Oh, all right. Twist my rubber arm," Chandler said, grinning goofily. He followed her out. Phoebe rushed over to Monica.

"If you like him, you have to tell him," she ordered. Monica hugged herself.

"I don't know how."

"What do you mean, you don't know how? Just tell him," Phoebe said, exasperated.

"He got an annulment, Phoebs. That speaks volumes."

"About him not wanting to be married. You guys haven't even dated, so why would you stay married?" Phoebe asked, laughing. "Any logical person would have done the same thing. It's not his way of saying he doesn't want to date you."

"You think?"

"I know. Go talk to him," Phoebe said, giving her a small push. Monica went to the door and closed it behind her. She stared at Chandler's door, heart pounding. This was it. She knocked, and he answered. She noticed the lipstick on his mouth and cheek instantly.

"Hey," he said.

"You've been making out," she commented, pointing.

"Oh," he said, wiping it off. "Yea, the one girl got a little carried away." It wasn't something he had instigated. He hoped Monica realized that.

"Can we talk?" she asked. He came out and closed the door.

"What's up?" he questioned.

"Did you make the cranberries?" she asked, chickening out. He tilted his head. He had a feeling this was about more than the cranberries.

"Of course."

"You knew I forgot?"

"I noticed. I didn't want to make you feel bad, though, so I just did them."

"That was...really sweet," Monica smiled. He smiled back. She wasn't going to say anything else. He wondered what she really wanted to say to him.

"Chandler!" voices called.

"I should entertain my guests," he said. "Unless..."

"No, that's it," Monica said quickly. God she was a coward. He went back inside with a wave and a smile, and she hit herself in the head a couple of times. What was the matter with her?! Why was she so afraid?! She went back inside. Phoebe met her eyes, and Monica shook her head slightly. Phoebe looked disappointed. Monica busied herself with tidying up while Ross and Rachel talked to her parents about the pregnancy. After a while, Phoebe joined her.

"I know you can tell him," she said. "The time has to be right,"

"I should have said something when we were married," Monica sighed.

"You'll have your time," Phoebe said to her. "And you'll know exactly when that time is. You just will."

 **Two Weeks Later**

"You hang out with your friends way too much," Janine commented. "How can you stand them? Joey is all about food. Ross and Rachel are so absorbed in their own lives to care about anything else, Phoebe is spacey, and Monica is so loud."

"Whoa," Chandler said, holding up his hands. They were standing in the kitchen. Janine was leaning on the counter while Chandler was by the fridge.

"What?" she asked, seeing his hands.

"Don't attack my friends," he told her.

"I'm not attacking. I'm...noticing," Janine corrected.

"I don't see much of a difference," Chandler commented. Monica entered just then, and he knew how bad she'd feel if she knew what Janine had just said about her.

"Hey," she smiled. "You ready?"

"Sure," Chandler smiled back.

"Where are you two off to?" Janine asked.

"To find a big open space to yell in," Chandler answered, steering Monica out the door.

"What was that about?" she asked as they went down the stairs.

"Nothing," Chandler replied. "But I think we need to find me a new roommate..."

 **A Week Later**

"So, Janine is gone? Just like that?" Joey asked. No one had noticed his apron yet as he sat on the couch beside them in Central Perk.

"Yea," Chandler sighed. "She was too judgy."

"In what way?" Rachel asked. Ross was holding her hand while looking through a magazine.

"Just in a not nice way," Chandler shrugged. He didn't want to tell them.

"Oh my God!" Ross exclaimed.

"What?" Rachel asked, peering at the magazine. "Hey! That's a playboy!"

"I know," Ross replied, pulling it back from her grip. "They published my joke!"

"You tell jokes?" Chandler asked.

"They put jokes in playboy magazines?" Monica asked. She shared a look with Phoebe.

"It breaks up the photos," Joey defended. Phoebe shot him a look at this, and he cowered.

"See?" Ross said, shoving it into their faces. They read it, and they laughed a little half-heartedly at it. Chandler didn't laugh at all.

"That's my joke," he said to Ross.

"No, it's my joke," Ross corrected.

"That I had told to you," Chandler threw back. "Thus making it mine!"

"Are you two seriously fighting over a joke in a magazine?" Monica asked. They both turned to face her. "Seriously? It's not even that funny. You do know that it's actually offensive to women, doctors, and monkeys, right? You're seriously going to fight over ownership of a terrible, offensive joke?"

"It's his joke," Chandler said instantly.

"No, it's Chandler's joke," Ross started.

"How about we just throw it away and pretend it never happened?" Rachel asked, taking the magazine out of Ross's hands.

"Sure," he agreed. Joey stood up then.

"Well," he said. "Back to work." Everyone stared at him.

"You work here?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, yea," Joey nodded. "I need the money."

"We wanted to surprise you guys," Phoebe laughed.

"Well, I'm surprised," Monica commented. Chandler gave her a look, which she returned. Joey working at a coffee shop. This would be interesting.

 **A Week Later**

"Ross, I'm so sorry," Rachel said, breathing heavily as she entered their apartment. She leaned on the chair where he was sitting.

"About what?" he asked, puzzled.

"This," she replied just as a blonde woman entered the apartment behind her.

"This is where you live?" the woman asked.

"Hi, Jill," Ross said, plastering a fake smile on his face. He knew of Rachel's sisters, but he hadn't spent much time with them. The time he had spent with them was not enjoyable at all.

"Daddy kicked me out, so I thought maybe I could stay here," Jill said.

"For how long?" Ross asked. Rachel kicked him. "Ah! I mean, of course!"

"Where's my room?" Jill asked, wandering around. Rachel took her to see it. She gave Ross a look over her shoulder as they rounded the corner. Ross just knew this was going to suck.

 **Chandler & Monica **

"I'm not sick," Monica said, her voice thick with mucus. She coughed violently into Chandler's mouth.

"Oh, I think you're sick," he replied, wiping his face. They were in her apartment, and he had seen her come staggering up the stairs and had decided to help her out.

"I don't get sick," she argued.

"I hate to disagree, but I'm disagreeing with you," Chandler said. "Come on. Get into bed. I'll make you some soup."

"You gonna read me a story too?" she asked, teasing. Then she sneezed loudly.

"Of course," he grinned. Monica did feel lousy, and she knew she really was sick.

"I'm really fine-d," she said.

"If you're putting the letter 'd' at the end of 'fine' then you're not fine," Chandler commented.

"I'm fine-d," she tried. "Fine-d!"

"Fine-d your way to the bed," he ordered. She obeyed. She crawled in under the covers. It was nice to be taken care of. She had been going back and forth in her head for a while now about telling him she was still crazy about him despite the whole marriage/annulment thing. Maybe this was the time Phoebe had talked about at Thanksgiving.

"There we go," Chandler said, setting the soup on the nightstand beside the bed. Monica gave a feeble smile.

"Thanks," she said.

"Eat it before it gets cold. I'll be back with some water," he said. Monica sat up and sipped at her soup. It did taste good, and it made her feel good too. Chandler gave her some cold medicine, and before she knew it, she was asleep.

...

Monica awoke in the dark, panicking. What time was it? Was she late for work? Where was she? She flailed in the dark, hitting the glass of water on the nightstand.

"Oh, no," she cried. She turned her lamp on and assessed the damage. "No!" She picked up the origami swan she kept on her nightstand that Chandler had made her for Christmas all that time ago. It was ruined. She felt like crying. It was the nicest gift he'd ever given her, and she had wrecked it. She held it in her hands for a moment before she noticed something on the paper. She gently adjusted it so the words were glaring up at her in a wet, smudged kind of way.

 _Monica, I love you._

What?

"Oh my God," she gasped. He had given this to her years ago, so this meant he had loved her back then?!

"Mon? What's wrong?" Chandler asked, coming into her room and startling her.

"How did you...?" she started, confused.

"I slept on the couch. I didn't want you to be alone while you had a fever," he answered. Then he saw what was in her hands. "What's that?"

"Your origami swan," she answered, not breaking eye contact. She saw his eyes flick to the writing and back to her face.

"I see," he said.

"You love me?" she asked. She had to know. He rubbed his hair with his hand tightly. Then he looked at the floor. "Chandler?"

"I do," he replied. "I did then, and I do now. I think I always have. I've just gotten swept into different relationships when you were taken, but they weren't nearly as good as the way I feel about you."

"You're serious?" she asked, standing up.

"You have a fever," he tried, worried about her getting cold.

"Chandler, you're serious that you love me right now?" she cut him off. He kept her eye contact.

"I'm dead serious," he answered. Monica felt her heart start to race.

"Well, I love you too," she said. He stared.

"You do?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Since Kathy."

"Since _Kathy_?!" he exploded. "That long ago?!"

"I'm sorry," she winced.

"No, no," he said, calming down. "It's okay. You thought I was happy. You didn't want to ruin it."

"I have been trying to figure out how to tell you for so long. When we got married, I had my opportunity then, but I got scared."

"I did too." He knew it. Her coming to his apartment on Thanksgiving had been her attempt to say something. He had been right after all.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yea. I mean, who gets married before even dating?" he asked, laughing. He noticed her shivering then. "Come on, get into bed. You're sick."

"So, what happens now?" she asked.

"Well, would you like to go on a date with me?" he suggested.

"Okay," she smiled.

"When you're feeling better," he noted. "I want to do this right. I don't want to rush into anything."

"Right," she nodded. He touched her cheek then, feeling how hot it was from the fever. She shivered, but not because of the fever.

"Get some rest. We can talk more in the morning," he said.

"Okay."

Chandler turned out the light, and Monica set her head back down. Then she got back up.

"I got it," Chandler said, returning with a cloth to wipe up the spilled water. She relaxed then.

"Thank you," she said sleepily.

"I have known you long enough to know that would make you get out of bed," he laughed. "Good night."

"Good night."

She smiled as she fell asleep. She was finally going to go on a date with Chandler Bing.

* * *

 **I bet you're all gonna go look for the chapter where Chandler gives her the origami swan aren't you? Just so you know, her finding that message was my plan all along to finally get them to confess feelings. Thanks for reading!**


	34. Chapter 34

**Hey all. I finally got back to this story. I'm sorry it took so long. There was just a lot that happened in my life, and then I got Avenger fever after Endgame and started writing for that fandom. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Rachel wondered why she had let her sister live with them. She thought about this as she watched Jill return with bags from her shopping spree. Wasn't the whole point of this to help her get onto her feet?

"You'll never guess what kind of deals I got!" Jill squealed, hopping a little. Ross came out of the bedroom then, eyeing up Jill's shopping bags.

"Um," he started.

"I got this," Rachel cut him off. "Jill, honey, how did you buy all this stuff? I thought Daddy took away your credit card."

"Please," Jill scoffed. "I prepared for this moment. I memorized those numbers the moment I got the card at 15."

"Jill..."

"Look at all this cool stuff! Here's my 'I'm making it on my own' sweater," Jill said, holding up a very nice red sweater. "And my 'Wouldn't this butt look amazing in this apartment you're gonna rent me' pants." She held them up too. Rachel shook her head.

"Honey, the first step in making it on your own is to give up the card," she said, remembering how her friends helped her cut up hers all those years ago.

"I did give it up," Jill said logically, frowning.

"She means to say you have to un-memorize the number of the card," Ross said helpfully.

"Oh, that's burned in there forever," Jill laughed. She put her things back in the bags while Rachel looked at Ross.

"Excuse me," she said, going to the other room. She picked up the phone and dialed. She knew Jill would be furious, but it was for her own good.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Daddy," Rachel said. "How are you?"

"Sweet Pea! I'm good. To what do I owe this pleasure?" Leonard asked.

"I need you to cancel Jill's credit card," Rachel explained. She rubbed her belly absently. At just over 11 weeks pregnant, she still hadn't told him about the baby. She wasn't sure what was holding her back from telling her parents. She guessed it had something to do with losing the first baby and scared she was going to lose this one too. Why upset more people about it? She had asked Jack and Judy to not tell anyone, and they promised to keep it quiet. So far, they had kept their word because her mother hadn't called about it. Everyone else respected Rachel's choice of keeping it on the down low.

"Why's that?" Leonard asked, breaking into her thoughts.

"She is still using it," Rachel answered.

"How?"

"She memorized the numbers."

"Oh, geez. All right. Why is she with you?"

"She said she wants to make it on her own, so we're helping her get onto her feet."

"That's extremely generous of you," Leonard commented.

"Well, I try," Rachel said, flushing at his compliment. They said their goodbyes, and she hung up. Next item on the Jill To Do List: get a job.

 **Monica**

She awoke feeling a bit better. Pieces of the night before entered her mind, and she sat up boltright. Chandler had told her he loved her! She loved him! They were going on a date! She flung her legs out from under the covers and hurried to the living room.

"Chandler?" she said hopefully.

"Nope, just me," Phoebe answered. She was flicking through a magazine.

"What are you doing here?" Monica asked.

"Chandler asked me to stay while he went to work. He couldn't wait for you to get up, and he wanted to let you sleep."

"Oh."

"Sooo," Phoebe said suggestively. Chandler had already told her, and she waited for Monica to say something.

"So what? I'm sick," Monica commented.

"Chandler stayed the night?" Phoebe prompted.

"On the couch," Monica answered.

"He loves you!" Phoebe burst out, not able to contain it anymore. She never was good at keeping stuff in. Well, stuff that wasn't hers.

"He told you?" Monica asked, stunned.

"Hell yea! I'm so happy for you!" Phoebe exclaimed, getting up to hug her friend. Monica hugged her back, grinning now.

"It feels so surreal," she said.

"When are you going out?" Phoebe asked.

"When I'm better."

"So hurry up already!"

"I'm trying," Monica laughed. She couldn't wait, but she wanted to be healthy too. She wanted the end of the day to get there because she wanted to see Chandler.

 **Joey**

"Rach, I don't think it's a good idea," Joey said. He was looking at Jill, who was examining her nails. She was bossy and loud. He didn't want to work with her.

"Gunther already hired her," Rachel said. "So you have to train her."

"No."

"Joey!"

"How hard can it be?" Jill interrupted. He glared at her.

"It's a little more challenging than you think," he argued.

"Prove it," Jill shrugged. Joey looked around, but there was currently no one in the cafe to serve. He looked back at her, frustrated.

"Do it for me. Please?" Rachel begged him. He scowled, but he caved.

"Fine. I don't share my tips, though."

"Fine," Rachel said.

"Wait, there's tips?" Jill asked, perking up.

"They're all mine," Joey snapped, grabbing his cloth and going to wipe down the tables. This was his job. He didn't want to share it. Jill followed him as Rachel left.

"You missed a spot," Jill commented, pointing. He rubbed at it angrily.

"Are you blind? It's still there," Jill scoffed. He took the cloth and threw it at her.

"You do it then," he said, moving to collect the dirty mugs people had left. Jill wiped the table until it was spotless, smiling at her work. Then she frowned. She was better than this job. Why had Rachel stuck her here? It didn't make much sense. She should be in fashion, like Rachel. She'd talk to her about it later. She saw the money on the table and reached for it.

"AAHH!" Joey shouted, snatching it before she got it. "Tips are mine, remember?"

"You're mean," she pouted.

Joey stuffed the bills into his pocket and didn't respond. Rachel had better make this up to him.

 **Later-Chandler**

He hurried up the stairs, eager to see Monica. Work had been excruciating, and he thought it was never going to end.

"Mon?" he asked, going inside.

"Hi," she smiled, turning around on the couch. She had gotten dressed at least. She still felt sick, though. Phoebe had left to go play at the cafe. He grinned at her.

"I missed you," he said, going to join her. He put his arm around her, and she leaned into him.

"I missed you too," she answered. It still felt surreal.

"You feeling any better?" he asked.

"Not much better, but a little."

"That's good," he said.

"It is," she smiled. She turned the TV on then, enjoying being next to him. E.T. was on, so they started watching it. Before long, Joey came up.

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" Monica asked.

"I just needed a break from Jill," Joey answered, digging into her fridge.

"Jill?" Monica asked. "Rachel's sister?"

"Yea. Rachel got her a job at the Perk, so now I have to train her. She's annoying," Joey replied, biting into the goodness he had scored from the fridge.

"Jill working? That would be weird," Chandler commented.

"She thinks she's better than me," Joey scoffed. Then he saw the TV. "Aw, E.T.! I love that movie. He gets to stay with Elliott in the end."

"No, Joe. E.T. goes home," Monica corrected. Joey stopped eating, his eyes welling up.

"Oh, I forgot," he said, turning to wipe his tears away.

"Bambi always made me cry worse than this," Monica commented.

"The cartoon?" Chandler asked. She looked at him.

"You didn't cry when Bambi's mother died?" she asked, surprised.

"It was devastating when they stopped drawing the deer," Chandler answered sarcastically.

"Don't you cry at anything?" Joey asked, incredulous. The Bambi talk had brought on more tears. He blew his nose.

"I'm just not the crying kind of guy," Chandler answered, shrugging. He caught Monica's glance then, and he felt worried. Would this make her not want to date him now?

"You must be made of stone then," Joey commented. "I'm going back to work."

"All right," Chandler said. Monica didn't say anything else about it, but he still felt worried.

 **Joey**

"What's wrong?" Phoebe asked when Joey returned.

"E.T. going home," he answered.

"Aww," she said, putting a hand over her heart and looking sad. He nodded but didn't cry again.

"I'll be okay."

Phoebe gave him a kiss then before pointing to a guy at the table across the room.

"Treat him well. He's a big fan," she said.

"All right," Joey agreed, going over to the guy. "So, you're a fan of Days of Our Lives eh? Want to see me do some Drake Ramoray?"

"Huh? I have no idea what you're talking about," the guy said. "But I just got Phoebe Buffay's autograph!"

"Oh, you're her fan," Joey said, a little disappointed. Did no one remember him from DOOL anymore?

"Yea. I've seen all her movies."

"Movies? She doesn't do movies."

"Oh yea, she does. Sex Toy Story 2, Lawrence of a Labia...oh, the guys at the comic book store are not gonna believe this!" the guy said, rushing off. Joey stared after him, feeling nauseous.

"Hey, Gunther, don't let him in here anymore. He's implying that Pheobs is a porn star."

"I wouldn't say a star, but she's pretty good," Gunther said. Joey gaped at him.

"What's going on?" Jill asked, coming up to him. She had missed the entire thing as she had been fixing her make up in the bathroom.

"I gotta go," Joey said, rushing off.

 **Ross & Rachel /Monica & Chandler/Joey**

"If you feel bad about it, then tell them," Ross said to her. They were at Monica's place. Both were oblivious to Monica and Chandler, who were sitting a bit apart now. They weren't ready to tell them yet. They weren't sure how Ross would take it.

"What if I lose this baby too?" Rachel asked. "Then they get to be just as heartbroken."

"Rach," Monica said. "I think you're going to be just fine."

"You don't know that," Rachel argued. "I was pretty far along when I lost..." She stopped then. It was still difficult for her to talk about.

"I have a good feeling about this," Ross said, taking her into his arms then. "We will be vigilant, but I'm confident this baby is going to be just fine."

"I wish I could share your confidence," Rachel lamented. She really did. Joey burst into the apartment then, making them all look at him. He looked freaked out.

"What is it?" Chandler asked.

"Phoebe isn't here, right?" Joey questioned.

"No," Monica shook her head. "Oh, hey, did you get a movie?"

"Um, sort of," Joey answered.

"It's not a bawl fest one is it?" Chandler asked.

"No."

"Joey, just tell us," Rachel commanded. This was a great distraction from her thoughts.

"Phoebe's a porn star!" he cried, pulling out the movie. They all gasped.

"What?!" Ross exclaimed.

"Oh my God!" Rachel yelped.

"Where did you get that?" Monica asked, taking it from him.

"The adult video place on Bleaker," Joey answered. He was shocked. He thought he knew his girlfriend. Maybe he didn't.

"Gosh, it's so weird, but I guess she did have a terrible childhood," Monica commented.

"I had a terrible childhood, but I don't make porn," Chandler pointed out.

"No, you're just dead inside," Monica told him, making him cringe. So it did bother her. He was going to have to fix this.

"I'm taking it back," Joey said.

"Really?" Monica asked.

"We can't watch this!" Joey cried. "It's Phoebe!" He went to grab it from her, but she played keep away.

"Just the first half," she said.

"No!"

"Don't watch," Rachel suggested.

"That's my girlfriend," Joey said angrily. He turned his back, not wanting to see. He couldn't believe his friends were going to watch it. He heard them put it in, and it started to play. He covered his ears.

"Hang on," Monica said. "What's on her ankle?"

"That's what you're watching?" Chandler asked.

"It's a tattoo!" Rachel cried, going closer to look.

"That's Ursula!" Monica shouted. Phoebe didn't have any tattoos. Joey stood up and whipped around.

"Rewind!" he shouted. "I can watch that!"

Phoebe came into the apartment then and saw the television.

"Oh my God! What am I doing?!" she shrieked, covering her eyes.

"It's okay!" Joey said, going over to her. "It's not you!"

"It's Ursula!" Monica cried. Phoebe opened her eyes, seeing her twin sister on the screen. It infuriated her. She saw the box of the tape and felt even angrier. So her sister was using her name to make porn films. Shocking.

"Phoebs?" Ross asked.

"That's it," Phoebe said, throwing the box and rushing to the door. Joey ran after her.

 **Chandler & Monica **

Everyone had left, leaving the two of them alone. Chandler still felt bad about not being an emotional kind of guy. He had to talk to her about it.

"So," he started. "Does me not being a guy who cries bother you?" She looked at him, surprised.

"It's not a deal breaker if that's what you're worried about," she answered. He felt relief.

"It's just...I never thought it was an important quality to have in a guy."

"It's okay, Chandler. You don't have to cry for me to love you."

"Okay," he smiled.

"But if I died, would you cry then?" she asked, curious.

"Well, I...I think so," he said.

"You think so?" she asked, incredulous.

"I know so," he corrected. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"If you didn't, I'd come back and haunt you," she said. "That's a promise."

"Okay," he agreed. He took her hand in his then. He was grateful she wasn't making more of it. For now at least.

"So where are we going this weekend?" she asked.

"Hm? Oh, I had a better idea," he said, getting up. She was confused.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Come with me," he said, gesturing. He hoped it was done. He had asked Phoebe to do it earlier that day. Monica followed him to his door.

"Wait here," he said, going in quickly. He was relieved to see the flowers and the card table set up Phoebe had lent him. He had a pizza on the way, which should be there any moment. He ran around, lighting the candles. He had put a lot of thought into this date, and he knew this would be better than some restaurant.

"Chandler? There's a pizza guy here," Monica said through the door. He went out the door carefully, not revealing he inside.

"Great, thanks," he said, paying the guy and taking the pizza.

"What's going on?" Monica asked.

"Close your eyes," he ordered.

"O-Okay," she said, doing so. He took her hand in his and pulled her inside. He set the pizza down on the table and guided Monica to a chair.

"Okay," he said. "Open." She did, and she gasped. His apartment looked incredible.

"You did this for me?" she asked.

"I did," he nodded. "With Phoebe's help of course. She owes me." It was true. He had kept her crush on Joey and then their relationship a secret for a long time.

"This is...this is amazing, Chandler," Monica said. He grinned.

"I couldn't wait until the weekend," he told her. He reached for her hand, and she squeezed his fingers. It was perfect.

 **Phoebe**

"I can't believe you got her money," Joey sniggered as they walked along the streets towards home. Phoebe smirked. It had been easy getting Ursula's checks. She changed the address so she wouldn't have to pick them up anymore.

"It's too bad she wasn't smarter," Phoebe commented.

"Like you," Joey said, kissing her.

"I'm glad you didn't watch it," she said after.

"How are you gonna cope with everyone thinking you're a porn star?" he asked. A couple walked by then, the man gawking.

"I'm familiar, aren't I?" she asked him. "Yea, you wanna know how your boyfriend knows me? From PORN! Yea! Your perverted boyfriend watched me on porn!" The guy and the girl scurried out of the way, making Joey laugh.

"This could be fun," he said. She took his hand in hers, laughing. It was most definitely going to be fun.

* * *

 **I hope you guys liked it. I'm hoping to get back into this story and update more frequently. And yes, Jill is going to stick around for a bit just to shake things up. Thank you again for your patience!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Two Weeks Later**

Jill tapped her fingers impatiently on the table while her customer was rooting through his pockets for change.

"I don't have all day," she sighed. The man slapped down some bills, glaring at her.

"What, no tip?" she accused.

"Ha!" the man snorted, putting on his coat and storming out. Jill scooped the money and walked back to the till with it. Joey wasn't there that day, so she was trying to train the customers to give her the tips instead. It wasn't working. She couldn't figure out what she was doing wrong.

"Hey," Rachel said, coming in. She was on her lunch break from work. She felt a little unwell, and she was trying not to panic that it meant something was wrong with the baby. She was 13 weeks along now, and she knew she had to tell her parents. She just didn't know when.

"When you worked here, did you feel like the lowest form on the planet?" Jill asked her when she sat down. Rachel stared at her.

"What?" she asked.

"I feel like I should be doing something more than this," Jill complained. "Why can't I come work with you?"

"There aren't any job openings," Rachel answered quickly. Her sister with her at work and at home? So not happening. That much time with her sister would result in a potential homicide charge. Or maybe just an aggravated assault charge. She was daydreaming about it when Jill's voice dragged her back to the present.

"You really need to start watching your diet," Jill commented rudely, gesturing at her.

"Excuse me?" Rachel asked.

"You're getting fat!" Jill exclaimed. "It's unbecoming."

"How do you even know how to use that word?" Rachel demanded. She bit her tongue otherwise. Jill didn't know she was pregnant.

"I'm not stupid, Rachel," Jill snapped, flicking at her hair. "And you are! Are you stressed or something? I know someone you could talk to..."

"It's really none of your business," Rachel said angrily, getting up. She wasn't going to stay here and take this.

"I'm just watching out for you," Jill said innocently. Rachel grabbed her purse and stormed out. Her sister really was a big idiot sometimes.

 **Joey**

"Hey," Joey said to Monica as he entered her apartment.

"Hey," she replied. She had hoped it was Chandler. Ever since their first date, they had spent every evening together since. She was anticipating their physical relationship to become more shortly, and she was feeling nervous. It was Chandler. She knew she had taught him what he needed to know back when he was with Kathy, but what if he had forgotten it all? What if it was awkward and gross? What if she said something stupid?

"I need your help for Phoebe's Valentine's Day gift," Joey said, sitting across from her. Monica stared at him.

"Um, that was two weeks ago," she said. Chandler had taken her to a very romantic restaurant and then a walk around Central Park after. While she appreciated they were taking things slow, she wished he had at least gotten to second base during their make out session.

"I know," Joey said, affronted. He didn't forget everything. Did he?

"So, why are you celebrating it now?" Monica prompted as he frowned to himself, thinking. His attention snapped back.

"I was working, so we postponed celebrating it."

"Oh."

"So, any ideas?"

"Not really," Monica replied, shaking her head. Phoebe had some quirky tastes, and Monica had a hard enough time getting her a birthday present let alone think of something a boyfriend would give her.

"Ah, dang it," Joey muttered, rubbing his neck. He guessed he'd have to resort to his fallback idea.

"I'm sorry," Monica apologized.

"It's all right," he said, getting up. "You have to have money anyway to get something really nice."

"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned.

"It's...it's been a little lean lately," Joey answered.

"Can you get more shifts at the coffeehouse?"

"No. Jill is taking them," Joey said, annoyed. "And I don't want to be around her more than I have to be."

"Do you have an audition coming? Maybe you'll get it."

"You're hilarious," Joey said sarcastically. He moved to the door. "I have a better idea, though."

"What's that?"

"I used to get experimented on all the time. It paid well. I'm going to look into doing that again."

Monica stared at him.

"What?!"

"Thanks, Mon!" Joey said, shutting the door behind him. Monica sighed loudly. If Joey was getting experimented on, then that would explain a lot.

 **Ross-Later**

"Sock bunny?" Monica was asking Phoebe, who nodded.

"He'll love it," Phoebe winked. She had plans for that sock bunny. Dirty plans.

"I don't want to know," Monica said, wrinkling her nose upon seeing Phoebe's expression. Ross came into view then.

"Where were you guys?" he asked, noticing their work out clothes.

"We went to self-defense class!" Phoebe exclaimed. Ever since the whole Ursula framing Phoebe as a porn star thing, she had some real creeps following her around. Joey had suggested the class, and she thought it was a good idea. Monica had agreed to go because Rachel didn't think it was safe to do while pregnant.

"Yea, kicking ass all afternoon was very uplifting," Monica added.

"We can kick anyone's ass now!" Phoebe cried.

"I highly doubt that after one class you can kick anyone's ass," Ross snorted.

"Keep talking, and it'll be your ass we kick," Monica warned.

"Yea, go over there and pretend to be a psycho, and you'll see!" Phoebe chimed in.

"Well, of course you could defend yourself if you knew the attack was coming," Ross scoffed. "You need to have unagi in order to successfully protect yourself."

"Why would I arm myself with an eel?" Monica asked, perplexed. "I've never heard of using an eel to slap someone around with, Ross. That's stupid."

"It's not food, it's a concept," Ross snapped, getting annoyed.

"I could go for some eel right now," Phoebe said.

"I know a great Japanese place," Monica replied.

"Fine! Get attacked! Be unaware! Don't blame me when you get hurt," Ross said, going to leave.

"Just tell us," Monica said, exasperated. She contained her laughter, but barely.

"It's a total state of awareness," Ross said, coming back and being all know it all-y on them. "You can only be prepared for all danger when you've achieved unagi."

"Because there's always someone plotting to attack us," Phoebe nodded.

"You never know when there could be a SUPRISE!" Ross shrieked, pushing his face into hers.

Phoebe's fist shot out into his throat, making a bizarre sound escape his lips. He gasped and choked as he bent over.

"Oh my God," Monica said, covering her face with her hands.

"Ross! I'm so sorry," Phoebe said, bending down to him. "Are you okay?" He straightened up and gave them both a dirty look while holding his throat.

"You suck," Ross managed to say before running away. Monica and Phoebe both burst into laughter when he was gone.

"So, Japanese?" Phoebe asked once they stopped.

"Sure," Monica grinned.

 **Rachel**

She looked up from her desk when she heard Jill's voice. What was going on? Why was her sister here?

"I would be perfect for this job," Jill was saying.

"When can you start?" Rachel's boss, Kim, was asking.

"Today!" Jill giggled.

"Um, excuse me," Rachel said, poking her head out of her office. "What's going on here?"

"Kim stopped by the coffeehouse after you left, and I mentioned I was looking for a job, and she said she had one!" Jill squealed, clapping her hands.

"Really," Rachel said, unimpressed.

"Yes, well, you know that Nancy left, and I need another young protégé, so when Jill asked for work, I thought it would be perfect since you two are sisters," Kim said, giving Rachel a smirk that showed she knew what she was doing. Rachel was fuming now.

"She has no experience!"

"You can train her."

"No," Rachel said flat out. "That is not a good idea."

"Well, you might want to reconsider speaking to me that way in your condition," Kim said, narrowing her eyes. "You don't want to lose your job, do you?"

Rachel froze. Jill was staring at her. Kim was still smirking. The question Rachel wanted to know was: how did Kim know she was pregnant?

"Oh, come on," Kim scoffed. "I know a pregnant woman when I see one. Show Jill to her desk, and no arguing." She walked away, leaving Jill to stare at Rachel even harder.

"You're pregnant?" Jill asked, stunned and outraged.

"It's no big deal..."

"It is a huge deal!" Jill shouted. "You didn't tell your own sister you're pregnant?! You're so selfish!"

"How does that make me selfish?!"

"You only think about yourself," Jill snapped.

"Jill! It's my business," Rachel said, grabbing at her face and feeling anxious. Jill didn't know about her miscarriage either.

"Are you going to show me my desk or not?" Jill asked, changing the subject. Rachel wanted to explode about how dare Jill accuse her of being selfish when Jill was even more so. She couldn't even stay focused on her accusation. Instead, Rachel breathed in deeply, closing her eyes.

"Fine," Rachel said. "This way." She walked fast, making Jill hurry after her. Rachel had no idea how she was going to deal with this.

 **Chandler**

He was walking into his apartment when he stopped, staring. A man who looked oddly a little like Joey was coming out of Monica's apartment and holding a piece of cake.

"Excuse me," Chandler said, making the man jump.

"Hey! How are ya doin'?" he asked.

"Damn it, Carl!" Joey shouted, bursting out of Chandler's apartment and making Chandler leap back from fright. "It's how _you_ doin'! It's not that hard!"

"What is going on here?" Chandler asked as his heart rate started to return to normal.

"I need an identical twin for the medical research study," Joey answered logically.

"And finding a random man from the street is the way to do that," Chandler said, letting his sarcasm fly.

"We have some work to do, but I think it's gonna work!" Joey exclaimed. "Come on, Carl."

"But I want to eat this cake," Carl complained.

"PIZZA!" Joey burst out. "We like PIZZA! Get out of here!"

"He does like cake too, Carl," Chandler said to the poor man who was looking very desolate as he trailed after Joey. He shook his head as he went into his apartment. He could hear Phoebe and Monica coming up the stairs then, chattering. He smiled, looking forward to seeing Monica. He moved to greet her at the door when he heard a scream:

"DANGERRRR!"

It was followed by an "Ah!" and a thud to the floor. Chandler hurried to see Monica shaking her hand and Ross on the ground writhing in pain.

"Ah, freshwater eel," she said to Ross, smirking and making a hand gesture at the side of her temple.

"What is with everybody today?" Chandler demanded.

"Ross is trying to scare us and prove we don't have awareness," Monica explained.

"It's unagi!" Ross said from the floor. Chandler could see blood coming from his nose.

"And we just unagied the shit out of you!" Phoebe crowed, high fiving Monica.

"Come on," Monica said, pulling Ross up. "You had to know better than to try to scare me."

"This isn't over!" Ross cried, rushing away.

"I've never loved you more," Chandler said, giving Monica a kiss. It was always nice to see Ross taken down a peg sometimes.

"I have to go meet Joey now for our Valentine's date," Phoebe said. "It's gonna be great!"

"Have fun," Chandler smiled. He followed Monica inside.

"So, about us," he said once they were alone.

"What about us?" she asked, feeling worried.

"I've been thinking about how we want to take things slow," he started. She looked at him. It was now or never, and she wanted it. Now.

"I changed my mind," she said quickly.

"Oh, thank God," he said, grabbing her and lifting her into his arms, kissing her as they walked to her bedroom, and kicking the door shut behind them. To Monica's relief, it wasn't awkward or weird at all.

 **Joey & Phoebe**

"How did your experiment go?" Phoebe asked Joey. They were sitting at her table eating dinner.

"It failed. Carl screwed it up," Joey muttered.

"I'm sorry."

"I just...I really needed the money."

"Joey, we'll be okay," Phoebe reassured him, reaching to take his hand in hers. "I have some savings, and work is busy right now. Don't worry about it, okay?"

"Okay," he said reluctantly. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. She always had a way of making him feel better with minimal effort. It was one of his favorite things about her.

"You ready for your gift?" she asked, waggling her eye brows.

"Hell, yea!"

"Here," Phoebe said, pushing the bag over to him. He pulled out the sock bunny.

"A puppet!" he exclaimed. "Awesome!" He started moving it around.

"It's not just a puppet," Phoebe said slyly. "It's a sex puppet." Joey's eyes widened.

"What does it do?" he asked.

"I'll show you," she winked.

"Oh yea, you will," Joey said coyly, nodding.

"What did you get me?" Phoebe asked, trying to see the bag beside his chair. He reached for it, pulling out an object. Phoebe wriggled in excitement. He handed her tissue paper, and she tore through it.

"Crotchless panties!" she cried. "I lost mine. You know me so well." She grabbed his chin and pulled him in for a kiss.

"That's not all," Joey said, pulling out two tickets. She looked at them and back to him, puzzled.

"You got me two gifts?" she asked, surprised.

"The one compliments the other," Joey answered. She took the tickets.

"A day at a couple's spa? Joey!" Phoebe exclaimed. "That is so sweet!"

She kissed him again then. Sometimes he was smart, smarter than he looked.

"Puppet time?" he asked after, breathless.

"You're damn right," she answered, pulling him to the bedroom, the sock bunny flapping behind them.

 **Rachel**

"She forced her way into that job!" Rachel was crying. She paced the apartment. Ross was sitting on the couch and nursing his wound. After Rachel had established Monica had done it, she stopped fussing over it.

"Monica hit me," Ross said again, still trying to figure out how she had managed to do that.

"Ross, are you listening to me?" Rachel asked, annoyed. "She hit your nose. I'm pretty sure that means your ears still work."

"I realize that you're pregnant and your hormones are amped, but I am wounded over here," Ross said, holding the ice pack to his face.

"Don't even," Rachel glared. Ross decided to change tactics then.

"I'm sorry Jill took your job."

"You're not listening! She didn't take my job. She got a job working with me! That's different!"

"So what are you gonna do about it?" Ross asked. Rachel thought hard.

"Would you think less of me after?" she questioned.

"Why? What are you going to do?" He looked worried now.

"I need to sleep on it," Rachel said, sighing and going to their bedroom. Jill was still out. Ross hated when she stayed out late. He hated that she was living with them. Jill was very annoying.

"Don't do something you'll regret," he warned her receding back.

"Tell that to your face," Rachel called back. She heard him make a guffaw noise and smiled. Rachel would have attacked him too if he had tried to scare her. Served him right.

 **A Week Later**

"You guys," Ross whispered when Rachel went into the bathroom at Monica's apartment. "I think I have a problem."

"What problem?" Chandler asked.

"Did you try to teach her unagi?" Phoebe asked. Joey snickered.

"Someone wrote on my teacher evaluation that I'm the hottie of the Paleontology department," Ross said, ignoring them both.

"Seriously?" Monica asked, snorting.

"Hey," Ross said, holding out his hands. "Don't be mean."

"I'm being honest," Monica corrected. He glared at her.

"So how is this a problem?" Chandler asked, getting back to the point.

"I don't want Rachel to get jealous or mad," Ross said. "She's already having such a hard time with Jill working in the same office as her and thinking that something is going to happen to the baby. I'm actually really worried about her."

"For all you know, it could have been a guy writing that," Monica pointed out.

"It's a girl," Ross snapped. Monica just shrugged.

"I wouldn't worry about it," Joey said. "You don't even know who it is, right?"

"Yea. These evaluations are anonymous."

"Then I wouldn't even bring it up," Joey nodded.

"Okay, you guys," Rachel said, coming out of the bathroom. "I'm going to go to work."

"Is it bad that I'm glad Jill is no longer my problem?" Joey asked Phoebe quietly. She shook her head.

"Rachel doomed us all by taking her in," she replied.

"Good luck, honey," Ross said, rubbing her shoulder. Rachel sighed.

"If I don't lose my sanity, then shoot me," she ordered them.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," Monica said. Rachel didn't respond as she left.

"Can I check my messages?" Phoebe asked.

"Sure," Monica nodded. They chatted with each other while Phoebe dialed.

"Oh!" Phoebe said. "Who are you?"

They all looked at her, puzzled.

"That is my apartment. Why are you in there?" Phoebe demanded. Joey grew concerned. "Oh my God. Okay. Okay, thank you." She hung up and looked at the others.

"What happened?" Monica asked.

"There was a fire," Phoebe answered.

"That's two!" Ross exclaimed. They looked at him.

"What are you going on about now?" Chandler asked.

"Things happen in threes," Ross shrugged. "Rachel and I had a fire. Now Phoebe and Joey had a fire. There's gonna be one more."

"Oh, stop it, freak," Monica snapped.

"What are we gonna do?" Phoebe asked. She clutched Joey's hand.

"You can stay here," Monica promised.

"Oh, thank you," Phoebe said.

"We better get over there," Joey urged. They left together, leaving Ross, Chandler and Monica alone together.

"Well, I should go to work too," Chandler said, getting up. Monica resisted hugging him. Ross still didn't know. So far only Phoebe knew. Monica didn't want to keep it a secret forever, but for now she was okay with minimal people knowing.

"Have fun," she said. He gave her a look over Ross's shoulder. She hid her blush. They were practically living in her bedroom the past week. They had almost gotten caught that morning.

"What are we going to do about Rachel?" Ross asked her once Chandler was gone.

"Take her shopping or something," Monica suggested. "Get her mind off of things."

"I worry she's going to have a breakdown," Ross said.

"Just stay on top of it."

"I'm trying."

"I think you should tell Jill to leave," Monica told him.

"I know. How?"

"Easy. You tell her to leave," Monica said, annoyed.

"She's a little scary," Ross admitted.

"Oh, please," Monica scoffed.

"Fine," he growled. "But when she attacks me, it's your fault."

"Good luck," she said cheerfully. At last, she had her apartment to herself again. For now.

 **Rachel**

She knew it was bad, evil almost. She didn't care. She just wanted Jill gone. Jill was trying to take over everything, and Rachel knew it wouldn't be long before Kim went with it. Rachel did not work hard to get here only to have it taken away by her sister.

"Kim?" Rachel said, knocking on her door.

"Yes?" Kim asked, looking at her.

"I need to talk to you."

"Come in," Kim gestured. Rachel did so, closing the door behind her. She sat across from Kim, playing with her fingers. Her Daddy always knew that was a sign she was lying.

"It's about Jill," Rachel started.

"Isn't she wonderful?" Kim gushed.

"Super," Rachel nodded, annoyed. "Um, there's something you should know."

"What's that?"

"She...she's a drug addict," Rachel lied.

"What? Oh no..." Kim said. "Poor thing. She seems so together."

"Yea. She's faking it. She's the queen of faking it, trust me. She's so bad that she skips out on work all the time, and if you don't watch out, she will start stealing from you next for her next fix. She hasn't kept a job for longer than a week," Rachel went on. "Jill is bad news, Kim. Trust me, I'm her sister. She needs to be in rehab. Ralph Lauren is not safe if she's working here."

"Are you sure you should be telling me this?" Kim asked, narrowing her eyes.

"I've been torn up about it for a week," Rachel said smoothly. "I just didn't know how to begin. I figured any place is as good as any, so here I am. You can't keep her here. She will damage the company."

"All right. I'll talk to Zelner. Thank you for letting me know," Kim said, reaching for her phone. Rachel stood and went to the door. She felt guilty, but she also felt relieved.

 **Jill**

She had heard it all. Rachel always did talk louder than normal. Jill couldn't believe her own sister would do that to her. She cried in the bathroom for twenty minutes before calming down. Then, she got an idea. Payback was a bitch, and Rachel was about to get hit hard. She went to an empty desk and picked up the phone, dialing.

"Hi, Daddy," Jill said sweetly, hearing his reply in her ear. "I'm good! I'm working, but I was wondering if I could come home. I just...I miss all of you, and this place hasn't really helped me like I thought it was. I mean, Rachel has been great, but soon she won't be able to let me stay at her place with the baby coming and all. Isn't it just fantastic that you're going to be a grandpa?"

Jill squeezed the phone in her hand as her father's exclamation hit her ears. She smiled. Rachel had no idea what was about to hit her.


	36. Chapter 36

Rachel felt nauseous, and it wasn't the pregnant kind. She had returned home after work feeling absolutely horrible about what she had done. Jill would be so upset. Rachel was trying to wrap her head around why she would do something so mean. Did she really hate her sister that much? Was she just a terrible person altogether? Her justification had been that she feared Jill would take over, but would that really happen? She sat with her head in her hands. She was going to have to come clean with this. Her phone rang then, and she answered it without looking at who was calling.

"Sweet Pea!" her father, Leonard, shouted in her ear. "You're having a baby?!"

Rachel froze, gripping the phone in her hand and trying to process what she just heard.

"Sweet Pea?"

How the hell had he found out? She had been so careful. Her back straightened then, taut. _Jill._

"Hello? Rachel?" Leonard asked.

"Hi, Daddy. Yes, I am pregnant," Rachel said.

"That's fabulous! How far along? When are you due? Is it a girl or a boy?"

The questions kept coming. She did her best to answer them while trying not to show how upset she was. In reality, this wasn't a big deal. She was married, not single and going to raise the baby alone. It was perfectly fine. The thing was, Rachel was so scared that she was going to lose this baby that she didn't want her parents to know she was pregnant until the danger of miscarriage had passed, and even then Rachel was worried something bad would happen. She didn't want her parents to feel the pain she had felt when she had lost her first baby. She was trying to spare them. It was bad enough she had told her friends and Monica's parents at Thanksgiving. She hadn't been thinking straight.

"Have you told your mother?" Leonard asked, breaking into her thoughts.

"Not yet," Rachel answered.

"Well, what are you waiting for? She will be thrilled."

It was odd to hear Leonard speak nicely about her mother since they fought so much and appeared to almost hate each other near the end of their marriage.

"I'll tell her soon," Rachel promised. They ended the conversation, and she sat there staring at her phone when the door opened and Jill walked through. They stared at each other.

"Why so blue?" Jill asked eventually. Rachel shot up to her feet, fists clenched.

"You had no right telling Daddy I was pregnant!"

"You had no right telling my boss I was a drug addict!" Jill shouted back. They squared off, fuming. Rachel, however, deflated very quickly.

"You're right," she agreed, sitting back down. "I'm sorry. I am. I just...I didn't want you working with me."

"Why not?" Jill asked. "Do you really hate me that much?"

"No. Jill..." Rachel trailed off. She pulled her hand through her hair and sighed. "I just...you're a lot to take, and you're...you're kind of self absorbed sometimes."

"Me? You are too!" Jill cried. "My whole life I was under your shadow!"

"I'm sorry you feel that way. It was not my intention to make you feel that way," Rachel apologized. "But come on! You pushed your way into a job at my place of work."

"Have you ever stopped to think that maybe I want to be like you? That I looked up to you? That you were Daddy's favorite so I thought if I was more like you, then I'd be his favorite too?"

Rachel stopped in her tracks. She had never really thought about how Jill might feel towards her.

"I didn't realize..."

"No! You never do! It's all about you!" Jill shouted.

"Well that's not my intention!" Rachel responded loudly. "Jill, I really am sorry for what I did. I will talk to Kim and make it right. I'll figure out something."

"No," Jill shook her head. "I know where I'm not wanted. I don't know why I ever thought things would work out for me here." She went to her room, loudly beginning to pack her things. Rachel went to stand in the doorway.

"Jill, don't leave," she started.

"Too late!" Jill replied in a shrill voice. Rachel went over and grabbed Jill's hands in her own. Jill was crying now.

"Jill, listen to me," Rachel said firmly. "If it came down to you or Amy, I pick you."

"W-What?" Jill asked.

"You heard me. You were always my favorite sister even though you annoyed me sometimes, just like I know I annoy you. We're sisters! We are going to fight and say things we shouldn't, but Jill, I do love you, and you are important to me. Please stay for a while longer? I'll fix things at work, and we can do more sisterly stuff together. Please stay."

Jill sniffed and wiped at her eyes then. Rachel waited for her response. Eventually, Jill nodded.

"Okay."

"I'll call Kim."

"Okay."

Rachel went to the other room to call her boss. It was a conversation she was dreading, but it had to be done.

 **Joey & Phoebe **

They were setting up in Monica's spare bedroom when she came in with a plate of cookies.

"We're gonna be roomies!" Monica exclaimed, smiling wide. Joey eagerly reached for a cookie, but she pulled the plate back.

"Don't dangle the dream just to take it away," Joey whined.

"Over the sink," Monica said. Phoebe inwardly cringed. She remembered what it was like living with Monica. This could get difficult.

"Over the sink?" Joey repeated in horror. "What about all the good crumbs that fall in there? They get wet and ruined!"

"And you'd rather they be on my floor?" Monica asked.

"I can eat them from there," Joey countered. "They stay dry."

"Joey, that's gross," Monica said, recoiling. "It's over the sink or not at all."

Grumbling, Joey took the plate of cookies and headed for the sink. The sound of crumbs hitting the bottom of the sink could be heard from the bedroom shortly after.

"I'm so glad you picked me to live with," Monica said to Phoebe.

"Uh huh," Phoebe nodded, getting a sinking feeling suddenly.

 **Ross**

He was putting up the grades on the board when he was approached by a blonde woman.

"Hi," she smiled.

"Hello," Ross smiled back. He loved being married because it took away the fear of missing out on every potential dating prospect. He could be completely himself and not have to care.

"I just wanted you to know how much I enjoyed your class," she went on. "I'm Elizabeth."

"Right," Ross nodded. He remembered her.

"Anyway, I...I just wanted to apologize for calling you a hottie on your evaluation. It made me feel a little bit weird. I mean, you're my teacher."

Ross stared at her. It had been her? Oh no...

"Right," he managed to say. "Well, no harm done."

"The thing is, I really thought we would hit it off. I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date sometime?" she prompted. Ross gaped at her before becoming serious.

"Elizabeth, I'm flattered, but I'm married."

The silence was deafening. Elizabeth had an "oh" look about her before catching herself.

"Now I'm really embarrassed," she said, going red in the face.

"Let's just pretend this never happened," Ross suggested, feeling a little bad for her embarrassment. He would be so mortified if he was in her position right now.

"Thank you. Yes, let's do that," Elizabeth nodded eagerly. "Take care." She hurried off without looking back. Ross exhaled slowly. He wondered what his answer would have been if he had been single.

 **Chandler & Joey **

"So it was Phoebe who burned down the place?" Chandler asked Joey, confirming. Joey nodded. He threw his wet paper towel hard, hitting his target. It was a game he and Chandler had played when they lived together. It was a bit safer than Fire Ball, and Joey didn't want to tempt fate and burn down Chandler's apartment and complete Ross's "everything happens in threes" premonition. It would be just his luck.

"Her candles. I thought she would have stopped lighting them after I set myself on fire that time, but she likes them too much," Joey replied.

"You...you set yourself on fire?" Chandler asked.

"By accident," Joey said defensively.

"Of course."

Joey didn't divulge any further information, which made Chandler want to know that much more. He had to let it go, though. Joey was grateful Chandler didn't press for more details. It was embarrassing enough that he had leaned over the candle without seeing it in front of him let alone what he was reaching for.

"So how is living with Monica?" Chandler asked, changing the subject.

"It's been a great five hours so far," Joey answered.

Phoebe burst into Chandler's apartment then.

"You have to take us in," she begged. Chandler gave her a quizzical look.

"What?" he asked.

"Monica is driving me crazy! I can't do anything without her hovering. There are too many rules! I just...I can't deal with the neat freak!"

"Hey, that's my girlfriend you're talking about," Chandler said. Then his eyes bulged as Joey gaped at him.

"What?!" Joey exclaimed.

"No, no, no..." Chandler started, realizing what he had done.

"You two are dating?" Joey interrupted.

"Yes, now shush, the adults are talking," Phoebe dismissed him. "Chandler, take us in. Please! I don't want to lose Monica's friendship over this. I almost did last time I lived with her. I don't know why I thought it would be different now."

"You knew?!" Joey said to her, incredulous. He was still stuck on Chandler and Monica dating.

"Yes! Now so do you, and keep it between us," Phoebe said impatiently.

"This is huge..." Joey tried.

"If you want to live here, fine, but you have to be the one to tell her," Chandler said.

"Fine," Phoebe agreed, getting an idea.

"Wait a minute," Joey said, realizing something Phoebe had said. "What did you mean when you said, 'The adults are talking?'"

But Phoebe had already grabbed the bowl of wet paper towels and was heading back to Monica's.

 **Rachel & Ross **

Ross found Rachel and Jill laughing on the couch when he got home. He felt wary as he knew Rachel's feelings towards Jill lately. What had changed?

"Hey, you," Rachel smiled. She was in a good mood. She had called Kim and told her she had been playing a practical joke on Jill with the whole drug addict bit, which Kim was very confused about at first but then eventually called her nuts and ordered her to refrain from doing that again or they'd both be fired, so Jill still had her job.

"You two seem to be having fun," he commented, going over to kiss her cheek.

"We sorted out our differences," Jill answered for Rachel. "We are going over baby names."

"Oh?" Ross said, feeling anxious. He did not want his baby named after some weird name Jill would likely pick out.

"I kind of like Elizabeth for a girl," Rachel said. "Jill thought of it."

"No!" Ross blurted out, making them both jump.

"What?" Rachel asked. "What's wrong with that name?"

"I just...it's a stupid name," Ross said hurriedly. "It can be shortened into too many nicknames." It would remind him that young women asked out their professors.

"What's wrong with Betsie?" Rachel asked. "Or Liza? Or Lizzie?"

"Betsie?! Liz-No, no. No. I don't like it."

"Okay, okay," Rachel said, holding out her hands. "You think of some names then."

"I will," Ross replied. He went to put his briefcase away and splash water on his face. He had done nothing wrong with Elizabeth earlier. She had asked him out, and he said he was married. There was nothing wrong with that exchange. He hadn't asked for it, and he hadn't accepted. Why, then, did he feel so bad about it?

 **Monica's Apartment**

"Noooo!" Monica shrieked. Within seconds, Chandler burst through the door with Joey on his heels.

"What happened?!" he asked, anxious. Then he saw Phoebe standing poised with her wet paper towel. Three others had found themselves on Monica's walls, sliding down to the floor and leaving marks.

"Phoebe!" Monica cried. "What are you doing?!"

"Art," Phoebe answered logically.

"With this?! What is wrong with you?!"

"I've been with Joey too long," Phoebe shrugged.

"Hey," Joey said, indignant.

"It's a compliment, dear," Phoebe told him. Then he grinned.

"You can't do this here. I...I...I can't feel my arm," Monica said, sinking to the floor.

"Oh my God! You've given her a stroke!" Chandler freaked, rushing over to her.

"No, no," Monica shook her head. This happened sometimes when she was over stressed and panicked. It usually went with some chest pain, which her doctor said was a symptom of a panic attack too.

"Are you dizzy? Headache? Weakness?" Chandler asked, running down all the stroke symptoms.

"I'm not having a stroke!" Monica yelled. "I'm having a panic attack!"

Joey grabbed the paper bag sitting on her counter and leaped over to her, shoving it in her face.

"Breathe!" he ordered. He had seen an ad for this once. Panic 101 or something.

"Stop it," Monica said, shoving it away.

"I need freedom to express my creativity," Phoebe said finally.

"Your creativity? How is throwing wet paper towels creative?" Monica demanded. Chandler was able to pull her back to her feet, holding her to keep her steady.

"I am making a face," Phoebe pointed. Indeed, there were two eyes and a haphazard mouth on the wall. "Like I said, it's art."

"I can't have you live here," Monica said, shaking her head. "Not if you have to do this. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," Phoebe said. "We appreciate the offer to stay here, but I don't want to upset you over this. We'll stay with Chandler."

She went to the guest room to grab her things. Joey went to help. Monica turned to stare at Chandler.

"What the hell was that?!" she asked, incredulous.

"I have no idea," Chandler answered. He had some idea. Phoebe was too afraid to tell the truth, so she made it seem like Monica's idea for her to leave. Clever woman.

"By the way," Chandler said, remembering. "Not to add to your stress but...Joey knows about us now."

Monica groaned.

 **Rachel**

She was searching in the study for a highlighter because Jill wanted one for the book she was reading. Why she wanted one, Rachel had no idea, but she was on good terms with Jill now, so she didn't want to appear judgy. Not seeing one on or in the desk, Rachel pulled out Ross's briefcase and looked through it absently until she noticed something. Now, normally she didn't snoop through his work, but it was right on top, and the word "hottie" leaped out at her. She picked up the evaluation, frowning. Someone thought Ross was a hottie? What? She felt a sense of dread in her stomach then. She trusted Ross, but why would a student call him a hottie? Was he acting that way? Was he leading someone on? Her mind was racing. No, not Ross. Not her Ross. Would he?

"I'm going out for a bit!" Ross called out.

"Okay," she replied. The door opened and shut, and she was alone except for Jill in her room down the hall. She thought of his reaction to the name Elizabeth earlier, and it clicked. She rooted through his papers more, determined to find an answer. Sure enough, there was a list of names of his students, and there was the name Elizabeth Stevens on it. She swallowed hard. This had to be a coincidence...right? She looked at the framed photo of them on their wedding day. If Ross was having an affair, she had no idea what she would do. She sank down into the office chair and tried not to cry. She thought hard. She might be overreacting. There might be an explanation for this. She would ask him later when he got back. Where was he going anyway? He didn't say did he? She worked to control her breathing. This was nothing. She was being silly. She put the papers back carefully. Ross wouldn't cheat. He loved her, and she loved him. They were having a baby. She was being ridiculous. She laughed at herself lightly. Of course someone would think Ross is hot. He _is_ hot! And it was on an evaluation form, so no names were attached. Ross wouldn't know who had written it, and he probably would have been embarrassed by it to start with. She felt instantly relaxed. It was nothing. She grabbed the highlighter that was on the floor peeking out from under the desk before going to Jill's room. If it was something, she would know.


	37. Chapter 37

**A Week Later**

Ross was getting a coffee at Central Perk before heading home. Things at his place were considerably stable for now. Jill and Rachel were actually enjoying each other's company. As far as Ross could tell, it seemed genuine, which made him happy.

"Here you go," Gunther said, sliding his coffee over. He did not smile. Ross never really understood why Gunther didn't like him, and it was noticeable.

"Thanks," Ross said, taking it after handing over his change. He was heading to the door when it happened. A man burst in looking a bit wild and very pissed off. He saw Ross and pointed his finger at him.

"Are you Ross?!" he asked loudly. Ross froze.

"N-No," he lied weakly. The man moved towards him until he was in his face.

"Oh yes you are," he said. His breath smelled like peppermints. Ross blinked.

"Okay, you got me," Ross laughed nervously. "What's this about?" His voice gave out on him a little.

"You're sleeping with my daughter! You sick bastard!" the man yelled. There was a hush in the cafe now. Everyone was watching. Ross felt sweat go down the back of his neck.

"I think you've got the wrong guy," he said. "I'm happily married, see?" He held up his ring finger to show him.

"Oh yea? Then explain to me why my daughter has doodles of your name all over her school book? Huh?" the guy said, poking Ross in the chest.

"Um, ow," Ross said, rubbing the spot. "I'm sorry. I think you've been misinformed. I do not sleep with students. Did I mention I'm married?" He showed his finger again. Was this guy nuts? Since when did someone doodling another person's name mean they had sex?!

"That means nothing to men like you," the guy sneered. "And my Lizzie is not the kind of girl you're gonna cheat on your wife with."

"Whoa!" Ross yelped. "I'm telling you, I did not sleep with your Lizzie!" He could see Gunther watching and looking intrigued. Oh God.

"I'm watching you," the guy said. "The next time you touch or even think about touching my Lizzie again, you can remember that Paul Stevens will kill you." He gave Ross one last shove before going to order a coffee. Ross stared at him for a moment before rushing out the door. He ran all the way to Chandler's apartment where he found his friend looking at a cook book. Joey and Phoebe were sitting together on the couch.

"Where's the fire?" Chandler asked Ross when he stumbled inside.

"Too soon!" Phoebe yelped, glaring at him.

"Oh, sorry. I mean, what's up, Ross?" Chandler corrected. It was indeed too early for fire jokes. He chastised himself inwardly at this.

"I just got accosted by some guy down at the coffee shop saying that I slept with his daughter!" Ross cried. Everyone froze and turned to look at him. Ross looked back and forth between them.

"Come on, you don't believe him do you? I didn't! I DIDN'T!" Ross insisted, his voice getting more shrill and high pitched at the last "didn't."

"Okay! We believe you," Chandler said. "But why is he accusing you of doing it?"

"Because apparently this girl wrote my name all over her book. He thinks I slept with her!" Ross said again.

"Who is the girl?"

"He said her name was Lizzie," Ross said. Then he realized, and he went white.

"Uh oh," Joey said. "I recognize that 'oh shit' look."

"Do you know her?" Phoebe asked him, feeling worried suddenly.

"You remember that evaluation where someone called me a hottie?" Ross asked them. They all nodded.

"Yea. You didn't know who it was, though," Chandler added.

"Well, last week this girl approached me and apologized for writing it. She said her name was Elizabeth and then she asked me on a date. I told her I was married, and she got all embarrassed and apologized again before taking off."

"But the guy said his daughter's name was Lizzie," Joey interrupted, confused.

"Lizzie is short for Elizabeth," Ross said impatiently.

"Oohhh," Joey said, getting it. "So that's the girl!"

"Anyway," Ross went on, ignoring Joey. "Her father thinks I slept with her!"

"Okay, calm down. You know you didn't do it, so what's the problem?" Phoebe asked.

"I don't know how to tell Rachel all this without her thinking I did," Ross answered. "I...I thought of telling her when it happened, but I felt guilty about it."

"Why would you feel guilty?" Chandler asked.

"Because I noticed how attractive she was," Ross replied, wincing. "You don't do that when you're with someone else!"

"Um, I notice other guys being attractive all the time," Phoebe scoffed. Joey looked at her, appalled.

"You do?" he asked.

"Oh, like you don't notice other hot women," Phoebe snorted.

"Point taken," Joey nodded, looking down sheepishly.

"It's okay to notice someone is attractive, Ross," Chandler said. "I mean, that's normal. It's human. Acting on it is what gets you in trouble."

"But I shouldn't have even noticed. I love Rachel. I do. You guys know that," Ross said.

"We do. No one loves Rachel more than you. You don't think she hasn't noticed attractive men?" Chandler challenged. Ross thought about this.

"She may have," he agreed eventually.

"I wouldn't even worry about it. Tell her what happened, and I bet you she will laugh it off," Chandler shrugged. "You're making this bigger than it has to be."

"Okay. I'll talk to her," Ross said, exhaling loudly.

"You really look at other men?" Joey asked, turning to Phoebe.

"And women," Phoebe answered. Joey's eyes popped.

 **Later-Monica & Joey **

"Hey," Joey said, entering Monica's apartment. He pulled open her fridge.

"Are you ever not going to steal my food?" Monica asked from the couch, looking up from her magazine.

"I'm not stealing. I'm borrowing," Joey corrected.

"Uh huh, and how are you going to return it?" Monica asked. Joey's brow furrowed, thinking.

"Well, I mean I could...but you wouldn't like that," he answered, shaking his head. "It would be..."

"Please God don't finish that sentence," Monica cut him off. He grabbed himself some left over pie and came to sit down beside her. His fork was halfway to his mouth when he caught her death stare.

"Right, crummies," he said, getting back up and going to the table. Monica went back to her magazine. The sound of Joey chewing and swallowing went on for a bit until he finished. Then he leaned back in his chair.

"I think I'm going to ask Phoebe to marry me," he said. Monica instantly dropped the magazine and leaped to her feet.

"Are you kidding?! You didn't lead with that?!" she yelped.

"I was hungry..." Joey started. She rushed to sit beside him.

"When? How? Where?" she asked eagerly.

"Whoa, whoa," he said, holding out his hands. "I said I was thinking of asking her to marry me. I haven't gotten any further than that."

"This is so exciting!" Monica exclaimed. Joey couldn't help but smile.

"You think she'll say yes?"

"I know she'll say yes," Monica bobbed her head. "You two are made for each other."

"I'm just nervous, you know? What if she says no?"

"I don't think you will, but if she does, then you at least know right?"

"I guess so," Joey agreed.

"Have you guys talked about it before?"

"In passing. She mentioned something about being a soccer mom. I'm not sure what that means unless she is going to make soccer balls..." Joey trailed off. He frowned to himself.

"I can help," Monica offered. "I know a great ring place."

"You do?" he asked, surprised.

"Well...a girl likes to dream," she said, sheepish. "Can I come help pick a ring?"

"I'll let you know when I'm ready for that," Joey agreed. Monica squealed. She couldn't help herself.

 **Rachel**

"Hey, honey," Ross said, coming inside his apartment to see Rachel in the kitchen.

"Hey, you," she smiled. He gave her a kiss then.

"I missed you," he said after.

"I missed you too."

They hugged for a bit. Ross felt nervous, but he knew he had to tell her. It was nothing. They'd laugh and it would be over.

"I, uh, have something I want to talk to you about," he said finally.

"What's that?" she asked. He led her to the living room and sat down beside her. "You're scaring me here, Ross."

"Something really stupid happened a couple of weeks ago, and it's been bothering me. I want to talk to you about it," he said.

"Is it about Elizabeth?" Rachel asked. She couldn't help herself. She had still been thinking about it. Ross was taken aback.

"H-How did you know?"

"I saw the comment on your evaluation, and I noticed you freaked at the name Elizabeth when I suggested it for our baby, so I put two and two together," Rachel admitted.

"Oh, what a relief," Ross sighed, laughing a little.

"You...you're not having an affair are you?" she asked timidly.

"God no! She asked me out, and I said I was married. That was it," Ross explained.

"She asked you out?!" Rachel exclaimed. Who was this girl?!

"She didn't know I was married. She was so embarrassed when I told her," Ross said hurriedly.

"I see," Rachel said, nodding slowly. Ross panicked.

"You have to believe me. I would never cheat on you, Rachel. I swear."

"I believe you," Rachel said, patting his leg.

"You don't look like you believe me," he pointed out.

"I just don't know why you waited until now to tell me," she said, looking at him.

"I didn't want to add to your stress," Ross said. "I realize now that was wrong."

"You promise me that nothing happened?"

"Nothing happened," Ross swore. "Her father seems to think something happened, but nothing happened."

"What?!"

"Her father verbally attacked me today saying I slept with her because she had doodled my name in her school book," Ross said quickly. "I didn't!"

"Okay," Rachel said, getting up. "This is not helping your case."

"Rach, I swear on the life of our unborn child that I did not sleep with this girl. She's obsessed! Her father is wrong. I didn't do anything," Ross said urgently.

"I need a walk," Rachel said suddenly, getting up.

"Rach..."

"Just let me process," she interrupted, going out the door. Ross felt a sinking feeling in his chest. Why was she doubting him?

 **Chandler's Apartment**

"That smells really good," Phoebe commented.

"You think so?" Chandler asked, looking up from the pot he was stirring. He was nervous as this was his first time cooking something for Monica. She was the chef, so he worried it wouldn't be good enough.

"It does," Phoebe answered.

"You're gonna clear out so we can have some privacy, right?" Chandler asked her.

"Of course! Say no more," Phoebe said, getting up. She pulled open the door to see Monica ready to come in. They laughed and exchanged pleasantries before Monica came inside and shut the door.

"Are you cooking?" she asked Chandler, surprised.

"Yes," he answered. "I hope you like it." She took in the food splatter on him, in his hair, and all over the counter. She smiled. He looked so cute.

"I'm sure it will be amazing," she promised. He gave her his goofy grin, and she kissed him. A half hour later, they were sitting and getting ready to eat when Rachel burst in.

"You guys," she said, oblivious to their date. "You have to help me."

"Now?" Monica asked, gesturing.

"Oh, thanks, I'll have some," Rachel said, getting a plate. Monica and Chandler stared as she sat down on the chair across from them at Chandler's back up card table he set up.

"What's wrong?" Chandler asked finally as she ate.

"I have been wandering around New York driving myself crazy with my own thoughts for the last hour. I have to talk to someone about this. I keep worrying that Ross might have cheated on me," she said after swallowing.

"What?! That's ridiculous," Monica laughed. "Ross can barely maintain one woman let alone two."

"She's right," Chandler agreed. "And I know all about what you're talking about. It was nothing."

"You knew?" Rachel asked, hurt. Did everyone know?

"He didn't know what to do about it. I told him to tell you," Chandler said. Monica knew too, but she kept quiet. Chandler had told her everything right after Ross had left earlier.

"So you guys don't think he did?"

"No," both replied, shaking their heads.

"I think you guys are right," Rachel said, sitting back in her seat. "But then why is the girl's father is going on about her schoolbook and his name being all over it?"

"I did that sort of thing," Monica said. "Didn't you?"

Rachel thought for a moment and then smiled.

"Ah, yes. Billy Wagner," she giggled. "Jake, Nathan, Kevin, Joe, Tim, Harry...I suppose you have a point." Doodles were just that...doodles.

"Ross is innocent here," Chandler said, keeping his eyebrows in check at Rachel's list of crushes. "Trust me."

"You're right. I should go talk to him. I left him kind of freaked out," Rachel chuckled. "This is really good by the way. Good job, Monica."

"Ahem," Chandler coughed. "It was me."

"Really? Wow," Rachel said, re-evaluating it.

"What, you don't think I can cook?" Chandler challenged.

"I won't interrupt your date anymore," Rachel said instead, getting up.

"Oh, so you did know this was a date," Monica commented.

"Thanks for your help!" Rachel waved, going out the door. Monica and Chandler just shook their heads and laughed.

 **Joey**

The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to do it. He wanted to marry Phoebe. He had just gotten called to be on the show Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E., so his career was working out great. He wanted to move forward with the other part of his life. Why wait? He would talk to Monica as soon as she was finished her date with Chandler, which he was still pretending he didn't know about. He would get her to help him. He grinned. A new chapter in his life was going to begin!

 **Ross**

He was pacing when Rachel came back. He rushed to her at the door.

"Rach," he started.

"I know you didn't," she cut him off, holding up her hand. "I know. I'm sorry I doubted you."

"Oh, thank God," Ross sighed happily. "It's okay."

"It's not okay," Rachel argued. "I shouldn't be jumping to conclusions that my husband is cheating on me. I don't know why I went there."

"It's okay. I promise. We're human, Rach. We do stupid things and think stupid things."

"I do trust you," Rachel reassured him as he hugged her tightly.

"I know. I trust you too."

"Can we just forget about this?" Rachel asked.

"I'd love to," he agreed. He was so glad Rachel believed him. He didn't know what he would have done if she hadn't.

 **The Next Day**

Monica looked up as Joey came in. His face showed excitement.

"What is it?" she asked. She knew all about his new show. He had talked about it endlessly for days.

"I'm going to ask Phoebe to marry me. Will you help?" he asked.

"Yes!" Monica exclaimed, hugging him. "Yes, I will!"

"Great! When you're free, I'd love to check out that ring place with you."

"You got it," Monica nodded.

"And don't let Phoebe figure it out," Joey said.

"I won't."

"You're the only one I've told."

"Okay."

"Like ever."

"Joey, I won't say anything," Monica promised. If Joey could keep her relationship in confidence even from her, then she could keep his confidence. She had been waiting for him to bring it up that she was dating Chandler, but he didn't. She wondered why.

"You're the best," Joey grinned, hugging her again. His heart was hammering. He was really doing this.

 **Central Perk**

"I met this amazing guy!" Jill squealed, rushing over to where Ross and Rachel were sitting at Central Perk. Rachel looked at her.

"Yea? When?"

"Yesterday! Oh, he's so handsome, and he's funny! I can't wait for you to meet him," Jill went on. "He's coming by to pick me up for our date."

"Glad you met someone," Ross commented.

"It's so sad, though, because he's a widow," Jill said. "He raised his daughter, Lizzie, alone."

Ross had chills suddenly. There was no way...it couldn't be...

"Hey, there you are," a voice said, making them all turn to look.

"Paul!" Jill cried, going to hug him tightly. "This is my sister Rachel and her husband Ross."

Paul's eyes darkened for a moment at Ross, but it went away just as fast.

"Nice to meet you," he said, nodding his head.

"I think it's fair to warn you that my sister can be hard on your wallet," Rachel joked. Jill reached to playfully smack her.

"I'll look after her," Paul promised.

"I'll see you later tonight," Jill told Rachel.

"Have fun," Rachel smiled. As they walked out, Paul gave Ross the "I'm watching you" gesture. Ross squeaked. Rachel frowned at him.

"What was that?" she asked.

"That's Elizabeth's dad!" he gasped.

"What?!"

"Yes! Jill is dating the man who accused me of sleeping with his daughter!"

"Oh no..." Rachel said, watching Paul and Jill walk past the window together. "Oh that's not good."

"I know!"

"Well, just know that I'm team Ross," Rachel said, squeezing his hand. "I know you did nothing wrong."

"Thank you. I just hope he doesn't convince your sister I'm cheating on you," Ross said, worried. Who knew what Jill would do with that information.


End file.
